Chapter 10 Alyosha

The body of the priest Zosima Elder is ready to be buried according to the prescribed ceremony.It is well known that priests and monks do not wash their bodies after death. The "Sacrament Book" says: "When a priest ascends to heaven, the selected priest (that is, the person who assumes the responsibility according to the regulations) first uses a sponge to make the cross on the forehead, chest, hands, feet and knees of the deceased, and then wipes it with hot water. Body, no other formalities are required." All this was done by Father Baisi himself.After wiping, he put on a monk's uniform and a monk's robe on the outside.As usual, the robe was cut slightly to form a cross.The deceased wore a monk's hat with an octagonal cross on his head.The hood was open, and a black cloth was covering the face of the deceased.An icon of the Redeemer was placed in his hand.And so he was buried before dawn—the coffin was already prepared.The coffin was going to be parked in the monastery, that is, the big room where the elder received all the monks and lay people before he was alive, for a whole day.The post of the deceased was that of a priest, so the Gospels, not the hymns, should have been read to him by the priests and assistant priests.After the recommendation ceremony, Father Joseph immediately began to recite the Gospel.Father Baisi was going to read to him all day and night after Father Joseph himself, but at the moment he was busy with other things with the abbot, because among the monks of the abbey and from the guest houses of the abbey and from the city, the laity flocked In the middle, an unusual, unheard-of, even "untimely" emotion of excitement and eagerness begins suddenly, and grows stronger.The abbot and Father Baisi tried to comfort the troubled people.After dawn, some people came from the city one after another with the sick, especially the sick children.They seemed to be waiting for this moment deliberately, hoping that the power that could cure all diseases would appear, and believed that this power would appear soon.Only then did I realize that when the elder was still alive, our people already regarded him as a great saint without a doubt.After hearing the news, far more than ordinary ordinary people came here.The anticipation of the believers is so strong, straightforward, and eager that it almost becomes a requirement.This is undoubtedly a temptation for Father Baisi. Although he had a premonition about it, it was still far beyond his expectations.When Father Baisi met the excited priests, he even scolded them and said: "It is a rash behavior to wait so impatiently for a great miracle to happen. Only laity can do this. It is wrong for us." Decent." But no one listened to him, and Father Baisi was aware of it with unease.But to tell the truth, though he was offended at this over-eager expectation, and even thought it a rash babbling, even he himself was secretly expecting almost the same as those excited people expected. Something, this is what he himself has to admit.Still, some of the people he met struck him as particularly unpleasant, and even aroused, from a certain presentiment, great suspicion in him.For example, he was particularly annoyed (for which he immediately reproached himself) after discovering Rakitin and Brother Obedor, who was still there, among those who had crowded the cell of the dead.For some reason, Father Baisi suddenly regarded them both as very suspicious, although there were far more suspects than these two.Among all the agitated people, the visitor from the Oberdor Abbey was particularly active, and he could be seen everywhere: now he asked this, now he listened to that, now he followed mysteriously. Another whispered.The expression on his face was particularly impatient, and even a little annoyed because the miracle he was looking forward to had not appeared for a long time.As for Rakitin, it turned out later that he had come to the monastery long ago at the special entrustment of Mrs. Hohlakova.This kind and weak woman by nature couldn't enter the monastery by herself, so when she just woke up and learned the news of the elder's death, she immediately had a strong curiosity, so she immediately sent Rakitin to the monastery for her to observe the movement, and promptly used the Report to her in writing about everything that happens there, every half hour or so.In her eyes, Rakitin was a young man who believed in God. He was very good at dealing with all kinds of people. As long as he saw that someone was of some use to him, he would approach him and make friends with him.It was a fine day, and many people who came to pray crowded around the cemetery of the monastery.These graves are scattered throughout the monastery, but are most concentrated around the monastery's chapel.On his way around the monastery, Father Baisi suddenly thought of Alyosha, and remembered that he had not seen him for a long time, almost since last night.As soon as he thought of Alyosha, he found him sitting on the tombstone of a long-dead monk, once famous for his asceticism, by the fence in the farthest corner of the monastery.With his back to the monastery, his face was turned towards the fence, as if deliberately hiding behind a tombstone.Father Baisi came up to him and saw him weeping with his face in his hands, though he cried silently, but was very sad, and his whole body was convulsed.Father Baisi stood before him for a moment.

"Don't cry, my dear boy, don't cry, friend," he said at last with emotion. "What's the matter with you? You shouldn't be crying, you should be happy. Don't you know today is the greatest day of his life? Where is he right now? You just have to think about it!" Alyosha glanced at him, showing a child's face swollen from crying, but without saying a word, turned round immediately, and once again covered his face with his hands. "That's all right," said Father Baisi thoughtfully. "Cry now, these tears are given to you by Christ." He said to himself as he left Alyosha full of love: "These sad tears of yours will soothe your spirit and soothe your lovely child." Be happy." But he hurried away from Alyosha, because he thought that looking at him like that might make him cry too.It was getting late, and the prayers and mourning ceremonies in the monastery were going on as planned.Father Baisi succeeded Father Joseph and continued to read the Gospel beside the coffin.But it was not before three o'clock in the afternoon when the incident which I mentioned at the end of the last volume happened.It was an event which none of us had expected, and which was even contrary to the general wishes, and I repeat that its details are still alive in the memory of our town and its environs.I myself would like to add here: I hardly want to recall this tumultuous, bewildering, and actually quite boring, perfectly natural incident, which I could have left out of my story, as long as I don’t mention it, but it had an extremely strong impact on the soul of Alyosha, the most important protagonist in my novel, although it is the future. Thoughts, prompting him to pursue a definite goal throughout his life.

Now back to business.Before dawn, the elder's body was put into the coffin after some grooming before burial, and then moved to the first room, which was the original reception room.At this time, a question arose among the people guarding the coffin: Do you want to open the windows in the room?But this question, posed inadvertently and by whomever, went unanswered and was hardly noticed.Even if a few of those present had noticed, it was only in the back of their minds that it was absurd to expect such a dead body to rot and stink, and it was only a pity that the man who asked the question was so devoid of faith and so flippant— — if not contemptuously.Because what everyone expects is exactly the opposite.But shortly after noon, some signs began to appear.At first those who came in and out felt the signs.But they also just mutter in their hearts, afraid to tell others about the thoughts they are forming.But by three o'clock in the afternoon, the signs were so obvious that it was hard to deny.So the news spread all over the monastery at once, to the ears of all the people who came to worship, then to the monastery, which surprised everyone in the monastery, and finally, in a very short time. When it spread to the city, all the believers and non-religious people in the city were very excited.The non-believers were delighted to hear this, and some of the religious were happier than the non-believers, because "people always rejoice at the ruin of a good man," as the elder himself said in one of his sermons.Here's the thing: from the coffin there was a gradual, more pronounced smell of putrefaction, which by three o'clock in the afternoon was already very strong and getting worse.This incident immediately aroused even among the priests of the monastery a blatant temptation that would never have occurred otherwise, which was unprecedented in the history of our monastery, and it is even difficult to imagine.Until many years later, when some reasonable priests recalled the details of that day, they were astonished and terrified at the intensity of this confusion.For before this also God-fearing elders, very pious priests (whose piety can be seen) died, and from their simple coffins there had naturally been a smell of decay, like all corpses, but it did not cause any harm. What confusion, didn't even cause any small commotion.We have, it is true, formerly had people whose remains were said not to have decomposed, which was still fresh in the memory of the people in the monastery, and which had a mysterious influence on the clergy, which seemed to have become in their minds A great miracle became a promise, heralding greater renown for their tomb, and by God's will, such a time must come.What people can't forget is the elder Job who lived to be one hundred and five years old, the famous ascetic, the great faster and the silent one.He died early in the century, but his tomb (the one on which Father Baisi saw Alyosha sitting) is still shown with great reverence by first-timers to the monastery, and at the same time And mysteriously hinted at them all kinds of great hopes.In addition to this long-dead elder, people still clearly remember the high priest Elder Valsonofi, who died relatively late, and it was after his death that Elder Zosima took over the position of elder.During his lifetime, those who came to worship at the monastery regarded him as a madman.According to legend, the two elders above were lying in the coffin almost as alive as they were. They were not rotted at all when they were buried, and they were still radiant and radiant in the coffin.Some even insisted that there was a palpable scent emanating from their remains.But no matter how convincing these recollections are, it is always difficult to directly explain the fact that why such a thoughtless, absurd and even malicious phenomenon occurred in the presence of the elder Zosima?In my personal opinion, I think that there are many other reasons mixed in, and various factors play a role at the same time.Among them, for example, was a deep-rooted hatred of Presbyterianism, which many clergymen still believed in their hearts to be a pernicious new trick.Also, and the main reason, was jealousy of the sacred status of the elders.This status was firmly established during the deceased's lifetime, and can hardly be questioned.The late elder drew many people to him not so much by miracles as by a love, and formed around him a circle of people who loved him, but at the same time created a lot of envy for himself and, in turn, made for himself many sworn enemies, both open and hidden, monastic and secular.For example, if he had done no harm to anyone, someone would ask, "Why is he so sacred?" The mere repetition of this question was enough to create a deep-rooted hatred that was hard to extinguish.So I think many people would dance with joy when they heard that his body was rotting and stinking and it happened in a very short time—he had been dead for less than a day.At the same time, some who had been loyal to the elder, and still venerated him, must have grieved at this incident, as if they themselves had been insulted.Here's what happened before and after:

At the first sign of decay, the way people enter the cell of the dead alone will tell why they come.They went in and stood for a while, then came out immediately to confirm the news to the people waiting outside.Some of the waiting people shook their heads sadly when they heard it, but some could hardly conceal their inner joy when they heard it. Their gloating mood can be clearly seen from their eyes full of hatred.And no one blamed them, and no one had a good word to say for the dead, which is almost surprising, since people loyal to the elders make up the majority in the monastery.Apparently, it was God himself who gave the minority the upper hand for a while.Soon some of the more or less educated among the visiting laity entered the monastery like spies.Many ordinary people gathered at the gate of the monastery, but not many entered.No doubt the flood of lay people to the monastery was after three o'clock, after this deceptive news had spread.Those who might not have come or planned to come today have come here on purpose.There are also some prominent figures among them.However, on the surface, everyone is still obeying the rules.Father Baisi's face was serious, and he continued to read the Gospel firmly and clearly, as if nothing had happened, although in fact he had already noticed some abnormalities.But those voices, which were very soft at first, and then became louder and more presumptuous, reached his ears now. "It seems that the judgment of God is not the same as the judgment of man!" Father Baisi heard such a sentence suddenly.The first person to utter this sentence was a secular person—an elderly local official who was recognized as a devout believer.In fact, his words were only a public repetition of the whispers among the priests.The ecclesiastics had already uttered the presumptuous remark, and what was worse, they said it with an air of self-satisfaction, which grew every moment.After a while, even the most basic decency was broken, and everyone seemed to feel they had a right to break it. "How can this happen?" said some of the priests, at first, with regret. "His body is thin and small, skinny and bony, where does this smell come from?" Others hastened to say, "That is God's intention to give instructions." Their opinions were accepted by everyone without any debate. , because they point out that if, like common sinful people, the stink occurs naturally after death, it will take some time, not so soon, at least a day and a night. "The other one rotted ahead of time", this must be the hand of God at work, and God wants to issue some kind of instruction.This opinion is convincing.The deceased’s favorite priest in charge of books, honest and honest Father Joseph, retorted to those slanderers, saying, “It’s not necessarily the case everywhere.” The Orthodox Church does not stipulate that pious believers cannot rot after death. This is just an opinion. Even in the most orthodox countries, as in Assos, for example, people are not ashamed of rotten and stinking corpses, and they think that the chief mark of glory for a saved soul is not that the body does not rot and stink, but that in the color of the bones. "If the bones turn yellow like wax after being buried in the ground for many years or even rot, that is the main sign that God has given glory to devout believers. If the bones turn black instead of yellow, it means that God has not given him glory. This honor." "This is the case of Athos. And the great Athos has been the most perfect and pure place of Orthodoxy since ancient times." -Father Joseph finally said.But these words of the good-natured abbe had no effect, but were met with ridicule. "It's pedantic and unconventional, don't listen to him," said the priests to one another. "We still follow the old rules here, and now all kinds of new tricks are emerging one after another, shall we all imitate them?" Some priests added. "We have as many virtuous priests as they do here. They are controlled by the Turks and have forgotten everything. Their Orthodoxy has long been messed up, and there is no bell in the church." Those who love to ridicule also add fuel. say.Father Joseph walked away sadly, and his manner of expressing his opinions was not so firm, and he seemed to lack self-confidence.But he found with anxiety that the situation had become very inappropriate, and even the arrogance began to rise, and all rational voices gradually fell silent after Father Joseph.Things have come to such a serious point that all the people who love the dead elders and sincerely support the establishment of the elder system suddenly seem very guilty for some reason, and when they meet each other, they just look at each other's faces furtively.Those who vehemently opposed the system of elders as an ingenious novelty all looked smug. "After Elder Valsonofi's death, not only did he not emit a bad smell, but a faint fragrance," they reminded gloatingly. "That's not due to the presbytery, but because he is very pious." Then, all kinds of blame and even condemnation fell on the head of the elder who was still dead. "His sermons are wrong, that life is a great joy, not a tearful docility," said some foolish people. "He believes in God in the fashion of the fashion, and doesn't admit that there really is a hellfire," echoed others, who were more befuddled. "He doesn't strictly fast, eats sweets as he pleases, and eats cherry jam when drinking tea, and he likes it very much. The wives often send him cherry jam. Can an ascetic monk drink tea like this?" Some people who are jealous of him So to speak. "He was arrogant," recalled bitterly those who gloated the most. man added viciously.Even among the oldest and most orderly priests, the most sincere fasters and the reticents say so.They were silent during the elder's lifetime, but now they speak out.This was terrible, because their words had such a strong effect on the young priests whose minds were still unformed.The little monk from the Abbey of St. Sylvester at Obdor shook his head moaning at these words. "Yes, Father Feraponte's accusations yesterday were obviously justified," he thought.Just at this time Father Feraponte came over, as if deliberately trying to impress people.

As I mentioned before, he seldom came out of the hermitage next to the hive, and he didn’t even go to church for a long time. Everyone regarded him as a crazy person, and he was quite tolerant of him, which did not use the common sense. To abide by the rules to restrain him.But to tell the truth, it was to some extent out of resignation that everyone tolerated him so much, because for him, a great faster and reticent who prayed day and night (kneeling even in sleep), since he himself did not want to Obedience, so insisting on using general rules to restrain him is a bit unreasonable. "He is much more holy than all of us. The difficulty of his practice is far beyond the stipulations of the canon. As for not going to church, he knows when to go and when not to go. He has his own rules." The priests must have said so.It was to avoid such discussions and doubts that Father Feraponte was left alone.It is well known that Father Feraponte disliked Elder Zosima.Now a news suddenly came to his hermitage: "God's judge is not the same as man's judge, his body decayed early." It is conceivable that among the first to tell him the news was the The monk from Oberdor who had visited him yesterday and then fled in fright.I have also mentioned before that although Father Baisi, who stood unswervingly by the coffin and recited the Gospel, could not hear or see the movement outside the monastery, he had already guessed the general situation outside the monastery accurately. Because he knows those people around him very well.He wasn't panicking, he was watching, fearlessly watching how the commotion would play out.In fact, he already knew it in his heart.He was startled by an unusual and apparently uncanonical uproar in the passage.The door slammed open, and Father Ferapont stood in the doorway.As mentioned earlier, looking out from the monastery, one could clearly see behind him, at the foot of the porch steps, many of the priests who had come with him, and some lay people were also among them.But those who had come with him did not dare to enter the cell or climb the steps, but stood there to see what Father Feraponte would say and do.Although they had the courage to follow Father Feraponte, they felt somewhat worried that he did not come for no reason.Father Feraponte stood still in the doorway, holding up his hands.From under his right arm he happened to be able to see the keen and curious eyes of the visitor from Oberdor looking in this direction.He was the only one who followed Father Feraponte up the steps, irresistible to his intense curiosity.Everyone but him recoiled in terror as the door slammed open.Father Feraponte raised his hands and suddenly shouted:

"Go away, the devil!" As he said, he immediately made the sign of the sign of the cross on the four walls and four corners of the monastery.The people who accompanied Father Ferapont immediately understood the purpose of his move.They knew that he was like this wherever he went: always cast out the devil before he sat down to talk. "Satan, go away, Satan, go away!" he repeated each time he made the cross.Then he shouted again: "Devil go away!" He was wearing a rough monk's robe with a rope tied around his waist, and his chest covered with gray and white chest hair was exposed under the linen shirt.Feet are bare.As soon as he waved his hands, the heavy chains in his robes clanged.Father Baisi stopped reading and went up to him to see what he was about to do.

"What is your business, honest abbe? Why are you breaking the canon? Why are you disturbing the docile flock?" he said at last, fixing his eyes sternly on him. "What am I here for? Why do you ask this? How do you believe in God?" cried Father Feraponte, madly. "I have come to drive away your guests here, those vicious devils. Let me see how many you have gathered in my absence. I will drive them all away with a birch broom!" "You say you want to drive away demons, but you may actually be helping them," said Father Baisi without fear. "Who can say to himself 'I am holy'? Can you, priest?"

"I am unclean, I am not holy, I will not sit on a chair and be worshiped like an idol!" Father Feraponte roared again. "Someone is destroying the sacred faith now. This dead man, your saint," he turned to face the crowd, pointing at the coffin, "he does not recognize the existence of devils, and he gives people medicine to expel ghosts, so you here The devil is as numerous as a spider in a corner. Now he is rotting and stinks himself. We see that this is a great direction from God." The kind of things that Elder Zosima said did happen when he was alive.There was a priest who always dreamed of the devil, and later saw the devil in broad daylight.With fear, he told the elder about it.The elder advised him to pray without ceasing and to fast more strictly.But this did not work. The elders advised him to continue praying and fasting, and at the same time take a medicine.At first many people were puzzled by this and shook their heads, most notably Father Feraponte, because some good-natured people immediately told him the "special method" that the elder took in this special case.

"Get out, priest!" said Father Baisi in a commanding tone. "Only God can judge, people can't judge, maybe the 'instructions' we see here can't be understood by anyone, neither you nor I. You go, priest, don't provoke the sheep again Yes!" he repeated sternly. "He didn't fast according to the religious rules, that's why he gave this instruction. It's obvious, it's a sin to conceal it!" The man with an unreasonable temper continued to mess around and refused to give up. "He had a sweet tooth, and the ladies brought it to him in their pockets, and he ate sweets with his tea, and his stomach was full of sweets, and his head was full of proud thoughts . . . so there was this shame ..."

"You speak too lightly, Father!" Father Baisi also raised his voice. "I admire your fasting and asceticism very much, but your words are too light, as if they were spoken by a childish and frivolous boy in the secular world. Get out, priest, I order you to go out!" Father Baisi finally shouted road. "I'll get out!" Father Feraponte said, a little embarrassed, but still viciously. "You're the only ones who are educated! You smart people look down on me as a fool. When I came here I was ignorant, and when I got here I forgot what I knew. It was God who protected me, a little man, from you The bullying of these learned men..."

Father Baisi stood before him with dignity and insisted on his going out.Father Feraponte was silent for a moment, then suddenly touched his cheek with the palm of his right hand in frustration, looked at the elder's coffin, and said in a drawn out voice: "Tomorrow I will sing a beautiful hymn "The Helper and Protector" for him, but when I die, I will only sing a little song "How Sweet Life" to me." He said with tears in his eyes, "You are so proud, no one will look down on you!" He suddenly roared like crazy, waved his hands again, turned around quickly, and walked down the steps quickly.The crowd waiting for him below began to stir, some followed him at once, some hesitated because the door of the cell was still open, and Father Baisi came out after Feraponte and stood. Watch on the steps.The emotionally agitated old man still refused to give up, and came up with a new trick: After walking about twenty steps, he turned to face the sunset, raised his hands above his head, and suddenly felt as if he had been chopped down, with a "snap" He fell to the ground and shouted hoarsely: "My God has won! Christ has defeated the setting sun!" he cried desperately, pointing to the setting sun with both hands.Then he pressed his face to the ground again, opened his arms and wept loudly, shaking like a child.At this time, all the people ran towards him, screaming or crying with him... Everyone seemed to be crazy. "This is the holy man! This is the pious man!" The people have shouted without any scruples. "He is qualified to be an elder." Some people echoed viciously. "He's not going to be an elder...he's going to refuse himself...he's not going to work on those nasty new tricks...not doing that stupid stuff like them." Others were quick to join.It is hard to imagine how far this situation will go, and it so happens that the church bells ring at this time, calling everyone to Mass.Everyone started to make the sign of the cross.Father Feraponte also got up from the ground, crossed himself, and walked towards his monastery without looking back.He was still yelling, but he couldn't hear what he was yelling.Some followed him, but few in number, and most dispersed to go to Mass.Father Baisi handed over the reading of the Gospel to Father Joseph, and walked down the steps himself, not disturbed by the commotion and shouting of the people, but his mood suddenly became sad for some reason.He feels it.He stopped and asked himself: "How can this melancholy, which is almost hopeless?" Then he was surprised to find that this sudden melancholy was obviously caused by a small reason: it turned out that he had just been in the monastery. Alyosha was seen among the commotion at the door.He remembered the pain he had felt in his heart since the moment he saw Alyosha. "Does this young man hold such an important place in my heart?" he asked himself suddenly in surprise.Alyosha happened to pass him at that moment, seeming to be busy going somewhere, but certainly not to church.Their eyes met.Alyosha immediately averted his eyes and looked at the ground.Father Baisi had already guessed from his expression that a great change had taken place in him. "Have you also been tempted?" exclaimed Father Baisi suddenly. "Are you also standing with these people of weak faith?" he added sadly. Alyosha stopped, looked at Father Baisi in bewilderment, but immediately looked away and looked down.He stood sideways, without turning to face the interrogator.Father Baisi watched him intently. "Where are you going in such a hurry? The bell has rung for Mass," he asked, but Alyosha still did not answer. "Are you going to leave the monastery? Why don't you ask and leave without receiving blessings?" Alyosha smiled wryly, raised his eyes, and looked strangely, very strangely, at Father Baisi, who was questioning him, at his old master, the master of his soul, the elder who loved him dearly before his death. The person entrusted to him waved his hand suddenly again, still didn't answer a word, seemed to ignore even the minimum politeness, and walked quickly towards the gate of the monastery. "You will come back!" said Father Baisi to himself, watching his receding figure with sadness and amazement. Father Baisi thought that "his lovely child" would return.Of course, his judgment was not wrong, and he even grasped the real trend of his inner world—although it was not very thorough, it was very keen after all.It should be confessed frankly, however, that it is now difficult for me to convey exactly how my beloved young hero really feels at this moment.It was a very strange and bewildering time in his life.To the question that Father Baisi asked Alyosha, "Are you also standing with those who have weak beliefs?" I can certainly answer for him firmly: "No, he did not stand with those who have weak beliefs." People stand together." Not only that, but even the opposite: it is precisely because of his firm belief that he has this confusion.However, after all, there was confusion, confusion, and it tortured him like that.Until later, after many years, Alyosha considered this sad day one of the saddest and most unfortunate days of his life.If someone directly asks: "Is this kind of trouble and worry in his heart just because the body of the elder did not have the miraculous effect of curing all diseases immediately, but rotted ahead of time?" Then I can answer without hesitation: "Yes." Yes, indeed." I just want to ask my readers not to be too quick to laugh at my young man's pure heart.As for myself, instead of asking for forgiveness for him, or justifying him because of his youth, lack of education, lack of experience, etc., maybe I will do the opposite, and I will firmly express: I sincerely admire his heart essence.Undoubtedly, some young people are able to be careful with their inner feelings, and have become good at expressing tender love instead of passionate love.Though level-headed, they seemed overly cautious for their age, and thus a bit vulgar.I concede that such young men may avoid what happened to my young man.But in certain circumstances a man who is wholly intoxicated by a passion, even an irrational one, but purely from a strong love, is honestly more respectable than an indifferent man.And even more so in youth.For youth who are too calm and prudent are often unreliable and worthless--that is my opinion!Perhaps a wise man will immediately shout: "It is not possible for every young man to believe in this prejudice, and your young man may not be a model for others to follow." To this I still answer: Yes, my The young man has faith, and his faith is sacred and unshakable, but I still don't want to ask forgiveness for him. 你们瞧，虽然我作了上述声明（也许过于仓促），说我不会为我的主人公解释、辩白、请求别人原谅，但我发现，有些情况还需要说明一下，以便让读者进一步理解我讲的故事。我想说的是：这里的问题不在于奇迹，也不是急切而轻率地期待出现什么奇迹。当时阿廖沙不是为了某种信念的胜利而需要奇迹（根本不是那么回事），也不是为了使某种原有的早就确立的理想战胜另外一种理想，不，完全不是这样。这里最主要也是第一位的原因在于他眼前始终浮现着一个人的形象，仅仅是一个人的形象——他所衷心爱戴、佩服得五体投地的虔诚的长老的形象。原因在于他全部的爱，当时以及在此之前整整一年都深藏在他那年轻而纯洁的心灵中的对于“万事万物”的爱，有时候，至少在他情绪特别冲动的时候，统统倾注在一个人身上——他所爱戴的、如今已经去世的长老身上（也许这样做是不对的）。其实，这个人长期以来一直作为无可争辩的理想屹立在他面前，他把自己全部的青春活力和全部追求统统倾注在这个理想上，有时候简直到了忘记“万事万物”的程度。 （后来他自己也经常回想起，在这个痛苦的日子他把德米特里哥哥忘得一干二净，而在前一天他还在时时刻刻关心他、思念他；他还忘了给伊柳沙的父亲送去两百卢布，而在前一天他还兴致勃勃地想完成这项任务。）但他需要的不是奇迹，而是“最高的公道”，因为他相信，这公道如今已经遭到了破坏，他的心也因此而受到严重伤害。如果阿廖沙所期待的这“公道”随着事态的发展演变成一种奇迹，使他所崇拜的长老的遗体不会腐烂，那么这又有什么值得奇怪的呢？修道院的所有人，包括阿廖沙所钦佩的那些聪明人，譬如巴伊西神甫，大家都是这么想的，都抱着这样的期望。所以阿廖沙并没有用种种怀疑来折磨自己，而使自己的理想也采取了与大家相同的形式。再说经过一年的修道院生活，这期望早已在他心目中固定下来，并且成了一种习惯。然而，他渴求的依然是公道，是公道而不是奇迹！可是现在，他所期望的那个理应比世界上任何人享有更高威望的人非但没有得到应有的荣耀，反而遭到了贬低和侮辱！Why?是谁在裁判？谁能作出这样的裁判？这一连串的问题立即使他那颗处女般稚嫩纯洁的心灵痛苦万分。眼看这位最虔诚、最恪守教规的教徒遭到那些生性浅薄、品格远比他低劣的人讥笑和恶毒的嘲弄，他怎能不感到受了奇耻大辱，怎么不感到义愤填膺！就算根本没有出现奇迹，也没有出现奇迹的征兆，人们的期望落空了，这都无所谓。但是为什么要蒙受这样的耻辱？为什么要大丢面子？为什么他的遗体腐烂得那么快，像那些恶毒的教士所说的，“提前”腐烂了？为什么他们和费拉蓬特神甫一起得意洋洋地断定那是上帝的“指示”？为什么他们坚信自己有权利作出这样的推断？上帝和他那万能的手究竟在哪里？为什么在“最需要的时候”（按阿廖沙的想法）上帝却藏起了自己的手，甚至好像要服从那盲目失聪、残酷无情的自然规律？ 这就是为什么阿廖沙的心在滴血的原因。当然，这里首要的原因还是他在这世界上最最崇拜的那个人的形象如今受到了玷污、遭到了损害！即使我这位年轻人的抱怨是轻率而缺乏理智的，但我还要再三重申（我得预先承认我这样做也许同样是轻率的）：在这样的时刻我这位年轻人如此缺乏理智反而使我感到高兴，因为一个人只要不是傻瓜，有朝一日总会变得有理智的。如果在这样一个不寻常的时刻年轻人的心中还没有爱，那什么时候才会有爱呢？即使这样，我也不想隐瞒在这不幸而迷茫的时刻在阿廖沙脑海中出现的某种奇怪的东西，虽然稍纵即逝，但毕竟出现过。这一闪而过的奇怪的东西就是萦绕在阿廖沙脑际的由昨天跟伊凡哥哥谈话而引起的那种痛苦的印象。而且恰恰在这时候出现了！这倒不是说阿廖沙内心某种根本的或者说自发的信仰发生了动摇。他还一如既往地热爱自己的上帝，毫不动摇地信奉上帝，虽然也曾情不自禁地抱怨过几句。昨天跟伊凡哥哥谈话引起的那种模糊、痛苦而憎恶的印象现在又突然在他心中活跃起来，而且越来越强烈地要冒出来。暮霭四合的时候，拉基京沿着林间小径从隐修院到修道院去。突然，他发现阿廖沙趴在一棵树底下，睡着了似的一动也不动。他上前喊他。 “你怎么在这儿，阿廖沙？难道你也……”他欲言又止，脸上露出惊讶的神色。他是想说：“难道你也到了这种地步吗？”阿廖沙看都没看他一眼，但拉基京根据他身体某些部位的动作立即猜到他听见并明白了他的话。 “你究竟怎么啦？”他脸上依然露着惊讶，但这种惊讶的表情已经开始被越来越带有嘲弄意味的微笑所代替。 “你知道吗，我已经找了你两个小时了。你突然从那里消失了。你在这里干什么？你犯什么傻劲？你倒是看一看我呀……” 阿廖沙抬起头，坐了起来，背靠着树。他没有流泪，但满脸的痛苦，目光喷射着怒火。不过他没有看拉基京，而是望着旁边。 “你知道吗，你的脸色全变了。以前那种出了名的温顺一点也没有了。你在生谁的气吧，是不是？有人欺负你了？” “别烦我！”阿廖沙突然说道，目光依然没有看他，无力地挥了挥手。 “哟，瞧你这模样！完全跟一般人那样开始大喊大叫了。还说你是天使呢！阿廖沙，你真使我感到奇怪。你知道，这是我的心里话。对这里的一切我早就见怪不怪了。我还一直以为你是个有教养的人呢……” 阿廖沙终于看了他一眼，但显得漫不经心的样子，好像始终不明白他在说些什么。 “难道你只是因为那老家伙腐烂发臭才这样的吗？难道你真的相信他会显现什么奇迹吗？”拉基京大声问道，语气中又充满了发自内心的惊讶。 “我以前相信，现在还相信，我愿意相信，而且今后还要相信，你还要我怎么样？”阿廖沙怒气冲冲地吼道。 “得了吧，亲爱的。真是活见鬼了。这种事现在连十三岁的学生也不会相信的。不过嘛，鬼知道……原来你这是在生你上帝的气呀，你想造反了，因为没有给你升官，节日里也没有给你发勋章！唉，你们这些人也真是！” 阿廖沙眯缝着眼久久地看着拉基京。突然，他目光中闪过一道亮光……但那不是对拉基京的怒火。 “我没有反对我的上帝，我只是'不能接受他创造的世界'。”阿廖沙苦笑着说。 “什么叫不能接受他的世界？”拉基京对他的回答略加考虑后说，“你胡说些什么呀？” 阿廖沙没有回答。 “好了，别说空话了，现在谈正经事。你今天吃饭了没有？” “不记得了……好像吃过了。” “看你的脸色就知道你该吃点东西了。看着你都让人觉得可怜。昨天晚上又一夜没睡，我听说你们在聚会。接下来又发生了这些乱七八糟的事……大概你只吃过一小片圣餐面包。我口袋里倒有香肠，是从城里带来的，以防万一，可你又不吃香肠……” “把香肠给我。” “好！这就对了！这样看来你真的造反了，动真格的了。我说，老弟，这件事根本用不到去多想。上我那儿去吧……我自己现在也真想喝点儿伏特加，我累坏了。伏特加恐怕你还不敢喝吧……或者也想喝一点儿？” “伏特加也喝。” “好！好极了，老弟！”拉基京诧异地看了他一眼。“不管怎么说，喝伏特加也好，吃香肠也好，反正都是好事情，挺带劲儿的，千万不能错过机会。咱们走吧！” 阿廖沙从地上站起来跟着拉基京走了。 “要是你哥哥伊凡看到了准会大吃一惊的！顺便告诉你，你哥哥伊凡今天早晨已经动身到莫斯科去了。这你知道吗？” “我知道。”阿廖沙无动于衷地说。这时候他脑海中突然闪过德米特里大哥的形象，但只是一闪而过，虽然这使他想起了什么，想起了某一件刻不容缓的急事，想起某种义务和可怕的责任，但并未给他留下任何印象，没有深入到他心坎里，反而立刻从脑海里消失了，彻底忘记了。事后过了好久，阿廖沙还常常想起这件事。 “你哥哥伊凡有两次说我是个'平庸的自由主义大草包'。有一次你也忍不住暗示我是个'不诚实的人'……就算是吧！现在我倒要看一看你们的能耐和诚实。”这最后一句话拉基京是自言自语悄悄说的。“去他的！你听我说，”他又大声嚷道，“我们绕过修道院，沿小路直接上城里去……嗯，我还打算顺路到霍赫拉科娃太太家去一次。你想：我把这里发生的事情都写信告诉了她，她马上给我回了张便条，是用铅笔写的——这位太太特别喜欢写便条——说她怎么也没料到像佐西马长老这样令人尊敬的人会做出这样的行为，她确实写了行为这两个字。看来她也生气了。唉，你们这些人啊！等一等！”他突然叫了起来，停住了脚步，并且抓住阿廖沙的肩膀，让他也站住了。 “你知道吗，阿廖沙，”他那探究的目光死死盯着阿廖沙，完全被突然冒出来的一个新念头迷住了，虽然他表面上还在笑，但显然害怕公开说出这个突如其来的新的想法。他无论如何也没法相信阿廖沙会有这种奇怪的出乎意料的情绪。“阿廖沙，你知道我们现在最好上哪儿去？”最后他终于用一种畏怯而讨好的口气说道。 “反正都一样……上哪儿都行。” “上格鲁申卡家怎么样？你去吗？”拉基京终于说了出来，由于紧张的期待而浑身在发抖。 “就上格鲁申卡家去吧。”阿廖沙立即平静地回答说。阿廖沙的回答如此干脆如此平静，这是拉基京万万没有料到的，他惊讶得差点没往后倒退几步。 “行！……好！”他差点没大叫起来，突然抓住阿廖沙的手，迅速拉着他沿小路向前走去，生怕阿廖沙会改变主意。一路上谁也没有说话，拉基京甚至害怕开口说话。 “她一定会非常高兴的，肯定会高兴的……”他喃喃地说，接着又马上沉默了。其实，他带领阿廖沙上格鲁申卡家完全不是为了让她高兴。他是个讲实惠的人，凡是没有好处的事情他是决不会做的。现在他就抱着双重目的：第一是复仇，也就是想看一看“正人君子出丑”以及阿廖沙不可避免的“堕落”，“从圣徒变成罪人”。这些他都看到了，从中已经得到了乐趣。第二，他还有一个可以从物质上得到利益的目的，关于这一点将在下面谈到。 “看来这样的机会来了。”他幸灾乐祸地暗自想道，“我们一定要牢牢把握这个机会，这对我们太有用了。” 格鲁申卡住在城里最热闹的地段，就在广场附近。她向商人莫罗佐夫的遗孀租了一间不大的木结构厢房。商人的房子很大，是用石头建造的，两层楼，房子已经陈旧，外观也很不漂亮，里面孤零零地住着年迈的女主人和她的两位侄女，全是老处女，也都上了岁数。她本来用不着把院子里的厢房租出去，她同意格鲁申卡成为她家的房客（那还是四年前的事）纯粹是为了讨好自己的亲戚、格鲁申卡的公开庇护人商人萨姆索诺夫。据说那爱吃醋的老头儿把自己“宠爱的女人”安排在莫罗佐娃家里，原来的意图是要借助太太这双敏锐的眼睛来监视新房客的行动。但是没过多久，这双敏锐的眼睛便显得多余了。结果她很少跟格鲁申卡见面，最后竟完全放弃监视，不愿再惹她讨厌了。当然，自从老头儿把这个畏怯害羞、苗条清瘦、忧郁寡言的十八岁少女从省城送到这座房子里以后，至今已有四年了，情况也发生了很大变化。但是我们城里的人对这位姑娘的身世了解得不多，说法也不一致。尽管四年后阿格拉费娜·亚历山德罗芙娜变成了一位“绝色美人”，引起了许多人的瞩目，对她还是没有更多的了解。只有一些传闻，说她十七岁的时候受了某人的骗，好像是一位军官，后来又很快被抛弃了。那军官远走高飞，到别处结了婚，而格鲁申卡则陷入了屈辱和贫困的境地。据说，格鲁申卡被老头儿收留的时候确实穷得一无所有，但是她出生在一个正经的神职人员家庭，父亲是教堂的候补执事，或者诸如此类的人物。想不到这个多愁善感、被人糟蹋、际遇可怜的孤女四年后居然出落成面色红润、体态丰腴的俄国式美人，一个泼辣果断、高傲无耻的女人。她懂得用钱生财的奥秘，既吝啬又谨慎，不管用正常的或者非正常的手段，反正像人们所说的那样，已经积聚了一笔小小的资产。有一点是人所共知的：格鲁申卡这女人很难接近，除了那老头儿，她的保护人之外，四年来还没有一个男人敢夸口说已经博得了她的垂青。这是确凿无疑的，因为试图博取她青睐的猎艳者为数不少，尤其是最近的两年更是趋之若鹜。但所有种种尝试都是徒劳的，有些追求者由于这个性格刚强的女人断然拒绝和冷嘲热讽，最后不得不打起退堂鼓，甚至落得个可笑可耻的下场。大家还知道，这个年轻女人，尤其在最近一年，居然做起了所谓的“投机生意”。她在这方面还显得颇有才能，以致后来许多人干脆叫她“十足的犹太佬”。她倒是没有放高利贷，但大家知道她有一段时间确实跟费奥多尔·巴夫洛维奇·卡拉马佐夫合伙廉价收购期票，用十戈比买一卢布，然后再把这些期票卖出，一卢布赚十戈比。萨姆索诺夫有病，最近一年双脚肿得无法动弹。他妻子已死，对几个成年儿子十分“苛刻”，虽然腰缠万贯，却爱钱如命，毫无通融的余地。起初他把格鲁申卡紧紧拽在手里，百般虐待她，正如一些尖刻的人所形容的那样，“只给她吃素油”，但是到最后他还是被她控制在手里。格鲁申卡一方面求得了自身的解放，同时又使他无限相信她对他是忠贞不渝的。这个极其能干的老头儿（如今他早已去世）性格也很特别，主要是非常吝啬，心肠硬得像石头。虽然他被格鲁申卡征服了，离了她简直没法活（最近两年就是这样），但还是不肯分给她一份较大的财产，哪怕她威胁说要彻底脱离他，他也决不改变初衷。不过他最后还是给了她一小笔钱。这件事传出去以后，大家还是感到惊奇。他分给她七八千卢布的时候说：“你是个精明人，这笔钱你自己去处理吧，但我告诉你，除了每年照例付给你生活费之外，在我死前你再也不会从我手里拿到一分钱，而且遗嘱里也不会再分给你钱了。”他说到做到：他死后真的把全部财产留给了那几个连他们的妻子儿女都被他一辈子当婢仆的儿子，遗嘱里只字未提格鲁申卡。这些事大家都是后来才知道的。“对于如何使用这笔私房钱”，他给格鲁申卡出了不少主意，帮了她不少忙，教给她不少“路子”。费奥多尔·巴夫洛维奇·卡拉马佐夫起先因为一笔偶然的“投机生意”跟格鲁申卡有了往来，结果连他自己也没料到会不顾一切地，甚至发疯似的爱上了她。当时萨姆索诺夫老头已经奄奄一息，但还在暗地里对他大加嘲笑。需要指出的是，格鲁申卡自从和老头认识之后，始终对他十分坦率，甚至把心里话都告诉他，他也许是她在这世界上唯一能推心置腹的人。最近，当德米特里·费奥多罗维奇也爱上了她之后，老头却不再嘲笑了。相反，有一次他神情严肃、一本正经地劝格鲁申卡说：“如果要在他们父子两人中间选择，那你应该选老头子，但有个条件，那就是一定要让那老东西娶你，至少预先要把一笔财产转到你名下。你别跟那中尉搅到一起，不会有好结果的。”这些话是那老色鬼亲口对格鲁申卡说的，那时候他已经预感到自己快死了，而且作了这番劝告之后果然不出五个月就死了。顺便还要说一句，虽然我们城里很多人都知道卡拉马佐夫父子俩为争夺格鲁申卡而闹得不可开交，但很少有人知道她对他们父子俩究竟抱什么态度。就连格鲁申卡的两名女仆（那是在惨剧发生之后，而有关这次惨剧的详细情况我们将在以后叙述）都在法庭上作证说，阿格拉费娜·亚历山德罗芙娜接待德米特里·费奥多罗维奇完全是出于害怕，他曾“威胁说要杀死她”。她有两名女仆，一名是年迈的厨娘，还是从娘家带来的，身体有病，耳朵几乎聋了；另一名是厨娘的孙女，二十岁左右，年轻活泼，是格鲁申卡的贴身侍女。格鲁申卡的日子过得十分节俭，屋里的陈设相当陈旧。她住的厢房共有三个房间，摆着房东的陈旧的红木家具，都是二十年代的老式样。拉基京和阿廖沙走进她房里的时候，天已经完全黑了，可房间里还没点灯。格鲁申卡独自躺在客厅里的沙发上。这沙发又大又硬，样子粗笨，仿红木靠背，蒙在上面的皮子早已磨出了窟窿。她头底下垫着两只从她床上搬来的白色鸭绒枕头。她面朝天躺着，直挺挺地一动也不动，双手枕在头底下。她已经打扮好了，似乎在等什么人，身上穿着黑绸长裙，头上系着跟她十分般配的轻飘飘的花边发带，肩上披着花边头巾，用一枚沉甸甸的金别针固定着。她确实在等一个人，躺在那儿显得有些烦躁，脸色带点苍白，嘴唇和两眼燃烧似的熠熠发亮，右脚尖在不停地敲打着沙发扶手。拉基京和阿廖沙一进去就引起了一阵小小的慌乱：从外屋已经听到格鲁申卡从沙发上跳起来，神色慌张地大声问：“是谁？”年轻的女仆已经迎了出来，马上向太太禀报说： “不是他，是别人，不要紧。” “她这是怎么啦？”拉基京一面拉着阿廖沙走进客厅，一面嘟囔着说。格鲁申卡站在沙发旁边，一副惊魂未定的样子。一绺浓密的深棕色头发突然从发带中掉下来落在她的左肩上，但是她未加注意，也没有去整理，只顾盯着来客看，想认出他们是谁。 “哎呀，是你吗，拉基京？你把我吓了一大跳，你和谁一起来了？你旁边这位是谁？天哪，你把谁给我领来了！”她认出阿廖沙后惊叫起来。 “你该吩咐她们把蜡烛拿来！”拉基京的口气十分随便，好像跟她十分熟悉，关系非常密切，甚至有权在她家发号施令似的。 “蜡烛……当然要点灯……费妮娅，快给他取蜡烛来……哎呀，你带他来得不是时候！”她朝阿廖沙点了点头，大声说了一句。接着，她转身对着镜子，双手迅速整理起辫子，显得有点不高兴的样子。 “难道我没巴结上吗？”拉基京问，似乎感到有点委屈。 “你把我吓坏了，拉基京，就是这么回事。”格鲁申卡面带笑容地转向阿廖沙。“你别怕我，亲爱的阿廖沙。见到你太高兴了，你是稀客，我没想到你会来。拉基京，你可把我吓了一大跳，我还以为是米佳闯了进来呢。你知道，刚才我骗了他，还硬逼他要相信我，可我对他撒了谎。我对他说，我要到我的老头儿库兹马·库兹米奇那儿去呆一个晚上，要帮他一起算账，要一直算到半夜。我每星期都要到他那儿去一个晚上，帮他算账。我们锁上门，他打算盘，我在那儿帮他记账——他只相信我一个人。米佳肯定以为我在那里，可我却躲在家里——坐在这儿等一个消息。费妮娅怎么放你们进来了！费妮娅！费妮娅！你快点到大门口去，开了门往周围仔细看看上尉来了没有？说不定他正躲在哪儿监视呢。我怕得要命。” “什么人也没有，阿格拉费娜·亚历山德罗芙娜，刚才我朝四下里张望过了，我还随时从锁眼里往外看看，我自己也害怕得发抖。” “百叶窗关了没有，费妮娅？最好把窗帘也放下——就这样！”说着她亲自放下了窗帘。“不然他看到灯亮着就会立即闯进来的。阿廖沙，我今天真怕你哥哥米佳。”格鲁申卡大声说，显然显得慌张，但又几乎带着一份欣喜。 “为什么你今天这样怕米佳？”拉基京问：“你好像向来是不怕他的，他都听你的摆布。” “我对你说，我正在等一个消息，一个宝贵的消息，所以这儿现在根本不需要米佳。再说他本来就不相信我会到库兹马·库兹米奇那儿，这我能预见到。也许他现在就待在自己家里，在费奥多尔·巴夫洛维奇家花园的后门口守着我。要是他守在那儿，就不会到这儿来了，这样反而更好！至于库兹马·库兹米奇那儿，我确实去过，还是米佳送我去的呢。我说要呆到半夜，让他半夜里一定来接我回家。他走了以后我在老头儿家只呆了十来分钟，马上又回到了这儿。哎呀，我真害怕——我一路小跑，就怕遇见他。” “你打扮得这样漂亮准备上哪儿呀？瞧你头上这顶压发帽多有趣！” “你自己才有趣呢，拉基京！我对你说，我正在等待一个消息，只要这消息一到，我马上就跳起来展翅高飞，你们连影子也找不到。我这样打扮为的就是事先有所准备。” “你要飞到哪儿去啊？” “操心越多，老得越快。” “嘿，瞧你喜气洋洋的……我还从来没见你这样高兴过。你打扮得这样漂亮就像要去参加舞会似的。”拉基京上上下下地打量着她。 “你对舞会知道得还真不少！” “你又懂得多少？” “我总还见过。前年库兹马·库兹米奇给儿子娶媳妇，我一直站在大厅的回廊里看他们跳舞。拉基京，我怎么只顾跟你说话而让这位公爵在一旁站着。他是贵客！阿廖沙，亲爱的，我看着你还不敢相信你真的来了。天哪，你真的上我家来了！说句实话，我没有想到，没有料到，而且从来不敢相信你真的会来。虽然你来得不是时候，但我还是高兴得要命！你坐到沙发上，坐这儿，这就对了，我的小月亮。说实话，现在我心里乱得很，连自己都不知道是怎么回事……唉，你啊，拉基京，要是昨天或者前天带他来就好了……不过我还是很高兴。你前天没来，现在来了，正巧在这个时候来了，这样也许更好……” 她动作麻利地紧挨着阿廖沙坐到沙发上，用欣喜的目光打量着他。她确实非常高兴，她没撒谎。她两眼放光，嘴上荡漾着笑容，这是善意、快活的笑容。阿廖沙甚至没有料到她会有这样的笑容……在昨天之前他很少遇见她，在他印象中这个女人十分可怕，而昨天她对卡捷琳娜·伊凡诺芙娜的那些凶狠而狡猾的出格举动曾使他感到异常震惊，而现在突然看到她跟昨天判若两人。尽管苦恼像一块巨石压在他心头，但他的眼睛还是不由自主地被她吸引住了。她的言行举止似乎与昨天大相径庭：说话的时候昨天那种娇嗲的腔调几乎全没有了，那种搔首弄姿装腔作势的样子也不见了……一切都显得那么纯洁、朴实，动作是那么敏捷轻盈，充满了信任感，但她的心情却又十分紧张、亢奋。 “天哪，这些事今天怎么都凑到一块儿来了。”她又喋喋不休地说了起来。“为什么我见了你心里那么高兴，阿廖沙，连我自己也不知道，就是你问我，我也说不清楚。” “你真的不知道为什么高兴吗？”拉基京冷笑着问。“前一阵你总不至于无缘无故地老缠着我：你一定要把他带来，一定要把他带来。你总有自己的目的吧？” “以前嘛，我有另外的目的，可现在不同了，那些事情都过去了。现在我要招待你们好好吃一顿，就是这么回事。现在我的心肠变软了，拉基京。你也坐下，拉基京，干吗站着？你已经坐下来了吗？我说嘛，拉基京总不会亏待自己的。你瞧，阿廖沙，他就坐在我们对面生气呢：为什么我没在请你之前先请他坐下。唉，我的拉基京真爱生气，太容易生气了！”格鲁申卡笑了。“你别生气，拉基京，现在我心肠变软了。阿廖沙，你为什么坐在那儿一副闷闷不乐的样子，你怕我吗？”她看了他一眼，目光中流露出快活的嘲弄意味。 “他碰到了一件伤心事儿。没给他加官晋爵。”拉基京闷声闷气地说。 “什么加官晋爵？” “他的长老发臭了。” “怎么发臭了？你怎么净胡说八道！你是想说什么难听的话吧？闭上你的嘴，傻瓜。阿廖沙，你能让我坐你腿上吗？就这样！”说着她一跃而起，嘻嘻哈哈地坐到了阿廖沙两腿上，像一只撒娇的小猫，右手亲热地搂住他的脖子。“我要让你快活起来，我敬畏上帝的小乖乖！你说实话，真允许我坐你腿上吗？你不生气吗？只要你说一声——我就马上下来。” 阿廖沙一声不吭。他坐在那儿，一动也不敢动。他听到了她的话“只要你说一声——我就马上下来”，但他没回答，好像呆住了似的。然而他内心的感觉并非像坐在一旁用色迷迷的目光注视着他的拉基京所预料和想象的那样。他内心的巨大悲伤吞没了他心中可能产生的所有感觉，假如他此刻头脑清醒的话，那自己也会明白，现在他穿着非常坚固的盔甲，足以抵挡任何诱惑和挑逗。不过话也要说回来，尽管他的心灵处于麻木状态，尽管内心一直受到痛苦的折磨，但他对自己内心产生的一种新的奇怪的感觉还是情不自禁地感到惊讶：这个女人，这个“可怕的”女人现在不仅没有引起他的畏惧，而以前他脑海中偶尔闪过关于女人的遐想时总会产生这样的恐惧感，现在的情况恰恰相反，这个他最害怕的女人坐在他腿上，搂着他，突然在他心中引起的却完全是另一种出乎意料的感觉，一种异乎寻常的、极其纯洁而强烈的好奇，已经没有任何的担忧，没有任何的恐惧——这便是他现在最主要的感觉，也是不禁使他感到惊讶的原因。 “你们别尽说废话。”拉基京大声喊道。“最好拿香槟酒来，你还欠着一笔债呢，这你自己心里有数！” “真的还欠着债呢。阿廖沙，我答应过他，要是他把你带来，首先要请他喝香槟酒。开香槟吧，我也喝！费妮娅，费妮娅，给我们拿香槟来，就是米佳留下的那一瓶，快去。我虽然吝惜，但一瓶还是要给的，不是给你，拉基京，你是个烂蘑菇，而他是大公爵！虽然我的心思现在不在这儿，但我无论如何要陪你们喝一杯，我真想放松一下！” “你说的'此刻'是什么意思？你要等待的是什么样的'消息'？能告诉我吗？或者这是个秘密？”拉基京又插嘴说，竭力装出对一连串贬低他的话毫不在乎的样子。 “噢，不是秘密，这你自己也知道的。”格鲁申卡心事重重地说，她把脸转向拉基京，身体稍稍离开阿廖沙，虽然还继续坐在阿廖沙腿上，搂着他的脖子。“那军官要来了，拉基京，我那军官要来了！” “听说他要来了，不过没那么快吧？” “现在到了莫克罗耶，要从那儿派一个专人来，这是他自己在信里说的，这封信刚才接到。我现在坐在这儿就是在等那个人来。” “原来是这么回事！为什么停留在莫克罗耶？” “说来话长，你也别问了。” “那米佳现在怎么办——唉呀呀！他知道不知道呢？” “他怎么会知道！一点也不知道！要是知道了，准会杀了我。现在我也根本不怕了，现在不怕他动刀子。闭上你的嘴，拉基京，别跟我提起德米特里·费奥多罗维奇，他让我的心都碎了。现在我一点也不愿去想这件事。我只愿想阿廖沙，看着阿廖沙……你尽管笑我好了，亲爱的，你得乐一乐，你笑我傻吧，笑我瞎乐观吧……你笑了，真的笑了！你的目光也显得温柔了。你知道吗，阿廖沙，我一直在想，你一定为了前天的事，为了那位小姐在生我的气。当时我真像条疯狗……不过发生了这样的事也好，既是坏事，又是好事。”格鲁申卡若有所思地突然笑了笑，在她的笑容里突然掠过一丝残酷的影子。“据米佳说，她叫嚷着'该用鞭子抽她！'那天我把她气坏了。她叫我去，想制服我，用巧克力哄我……是的，发生了这样的事也好。”她又笑了笑。“我就怕你生气……” “这话一点也不假。”拉基京突然又一本正经地插了一句。“阿廖沙，她的确怕你，怕你这小雏鸡。” “拉基京，对你来说他才是小雏鸡，就是这么回事……因为你没有良心，就是这么回事！你知道吗，我打心眼里爱他，就是这么回事！你信不信，阿廖沙，我打心眼里爱你？”