Chapter 35 Lesson 8 Spouse Transformation Program

As the saying goes: A man has thirty-one flowers, and a woman has to marry early when she is thirty.Why do women want to marry early while they are young, but men don't have to worry? People are used to explaining these problems only from a physiological point of view.Experience has proved that it is best for women to marry and have children before the age of 30, otherwise pregnancy and childbirth will be difficult, while men do not have such problems. Is this answer really correct?not necessarily.In fact, men become less and less able fathers as they age.The consequence of delaying the time to start a family is to lead a celibate life, reduce the ability to live, and both mentally and physically

There will be a lot of losses.In fact, men who live alone often have to pay a high price for frivolous pleasures.Most of them have impotence, and some of them have masturbation habits.They can become impulsive, withdrawn, vacillating, and afraid of failure in love.This mental disorder also intensifies with age.93.9% of men who do not register their marriage until the age of 45 will do so. There are many bachelors who focus on work and study, but because they don’t have their own family, they can’t enjoy the happiness, warmth and family happiness of the family; because they don’t have a family, they lack a sense of moral responsibility, and even less Responsibility for caring about others.All this gradually changes their character, making them tend to be selfish, mean, and overly self-loving.They can't stand strong emotional stimulation, depressed, suspicious, and even become a nasty weird person.So, what is the most suitable age to get married? It is generally believed that around 25 years old is the best age for marriage.Young people at this time are more mature in all aspects.

At this time, love, the warmth of the family, the thoughtfulness and concern for each other, and the joy brought by children can become the driving force for work and study.Before marriage, older men should realize their sense of responsibility after marriage. For the sake of happiness after marriage, they must try their best to overcome their problems when they lived alone, and strive to develop the following recognized manly virtues: 1. Bravery and integrity A true man should have a "sense of justice" , "Dare to act", "Dare to sacrifice", "Not afraid of evil forces".

2. Tolerance and open-mindedness "Open-mindedness", "magnanimity", "magnanimity", "magnanimity" and "not fussing about it" are the qualities that a man should possess, thus making tolerance and open-mindedness the second largest criterion for judging a man.There will inevitably be friction and conflicts between people in life, but we must not worry about them.Maybe others have offended you, but when he needs help, a real man will ignore the past and lend a helping hand. 3. Full of love "Kindness", "Caring", "Helpful", "Caring and considerate" should be important criteria for judging a man.In addition to helping others with enthusiasm like Lei Feng, a real man should also love small animals.

4. Be strong and persistent. A real man should be "strong", "perseverant", "not weak", "not admit defeat", and able to withstand all kinds of blows and setbacks. 5 Sense of Responsibility "Sense of Responsibility" is an important criterion for judging a man.It mainly includes "loving the motherland", "contributing to the society", "caring about history", "carrying the burden of the family" and so on. 6. Polite education "Humility", "modestness", "respect for women", "no swearing", and "civility" are the standards that a man must possess.A man with masculine character, even if conflicts and conflicts occur with others, he will not resort to violence but resolve them calmly; especially for women, they should be more respectful and courteous.

7 Knowledge and talent To be a man, one must be "knowledgeable", "talented", "successful in studies", and "skilled". 8 Ideal Pursuit A true man has "ideals" and "big ambitions", "has great ambitions" and "has ambition".Rely on your own efforts to open up a piece of your own sky. 9 Sincerity and frankness "honesty", "straightforwardness", "no hypocrisy", "no vanity", and "keeping promises" are the criteria for judging a man. 10 Humor "Sense of humor" is very important to a man.People with a sense of humor can bring joy to everyone, easy to communicate and approach.A humorous person is good at enlivening the atmosphere and can resolve many embarrassing situations and scenes. This is the most attractive.

11 Mature and stable "Calm", "reasonable", "brain", "distinguish right from wrong" are the qualities that a man should possess.When encountering emergencies, such as someone being injured, fire, robbery, etc., a man should face it calmly and calmly, and make a decision. 12 Physically strong A man should be "strong", "tall", "healthy" and "love sports". 13 Witty and courageous "decisive", "simply", "courageous", "clean and neat", "no mother-in-law" should be the standard of a man.It is not a man who is always unable to make up his mind when encountering things, either submissive or indecisive, and has no masculinity at all.

14 Optimism and cheerfulness "Enthusiasm and cheerfulness", "vigorousness" and "generosity" are the standards of a man. Life is a big dye vat. People who are strict with themselves can often resist the erosion of bad habits, while people who are not indisciplined in their lives often get bad habits, and even some bad habits.As the spouse of such a person, it is entirely my responsibility to help my lover get rid of bad habits. In the dye vat of life, what bad habits are people likely to pick up? One is excessive smoking, the other is excessive drinking, the third is excessive fun, and the fourth is obsessed with chess and cards.

Many people are very disgusted with the above-mentioned bad habits, and they also know the consequences of their development, such as drinking and playing cards will evolve into bad habits. Why do some people have so little success in helping their loved ones? One is that the attitude is wrong, and the lover who has bad habits cannot be treated with an equal attitude, and the imperative method is used too much instead of the heuristic method, which results in disgust and dissatisfaction on the other side, which backfires; The second is that the method is inappropriate, some only criticize but not persuade, some like to criticize their lover in front of everyone, but they are not good at two people sitting down to analyze carefully, inspire education, and cannot prescribe the right medicine;

The third is that the measures are not effective, do not know how to proceed step by step, do not pay attention to taking measures in stages, act too hastily, and are eager to achieve, but the results are not very effective. Since relying on the above three points cannot achieve results, it is imperative to change the past practice. First of all, find out the psychological activities of your lover, so as to find a cure.The reason why some people get bad habits has its psychological roots.One is the pursuit of fashion.Now, some people regard eating, drinking, and playing as a fashion, and mistakenly think that if they don’t want to eat, drink, or play, they are outdated. They are afraid of being ridiculed as "hillies" and "misers", so they follow others.From their point of view, having a cigarette in their mouths is elegant, being able to drink too much alcohol is courageous, being able to play well is knowing how to live, playing cards and gambling is showing off money, and as a result, bad habits have taken root in them.

The second is the distorted expression of self-esteem.Some people also know that smoking, drinking, playing, and gambling are bad habits, but they are afraid of being called "henpeia", so they go their own way and insist on not changing to show their masculinity. Third, some people believe that smoking paves the way, wine builds bridges, and makes friends. Under the guidance of this kind of thinking, people use tobacco and alcohol as a means of communication. Under the influence of bad social life, some people develop bad habits. living habit. The fourth is the temptation of some kind of psychological satisfaction.Such as smoking, drinking, and gambling can not only give people some kind of stimulation, but also give people psychological satisfaction.People with this hobby will feel no fun if they don't smoke some cigarettes and drink some alcohol every day.This kind of psychological satisfaction often induces people to repeat the bad things they have realized. The fifth is self-forgiveness with a fluke mentality.Some people are well aware of the harm of bad habits to ordinary people, but they are lucky about whether the harm can really fall on themselves.For example, smoking is detrimental to health and even causes cancer. Alcoholism damages the stomach and nerves and causes troubles. Gambling is illegal and can easily cause family tragedies. They all understand these simple truths, but they feel that these misfortunes may not really happen. My own head, so I don't care about it, I can't make up my mind to correct it, and I forgive myself. If we want to get our lover to get rid of bad habits, we can first do a psychological analysis of our lover to see which one of the above five items he meets, and then prescribe the right medicine. Tendencies that should be avoided; if it is the second one, you can explain to him that getting rid of bad habits is not a question of being afraid of who will listen to whom, but to see whether doing so is beneficial to yourself and the family; if it is the third one, you can be sure that social interaction is beneficial The importance of people, but at the same time, it should be pointed out that tobacco and alcohol are not the real bridge of communication. On certain occasions, tobacco and alcohol are a medium of communication, but to make real friends requires sincerity and the same ambition; if the fourth article, You can explain to him what the joy of life is; if it is the fifth article, you can talk about the harm of bad habits and the consequences that will be brought to him and his family in case of occurrence.According to these different symptoms to apply a good prescription, the effect may be more obvious. Secondly, according to the potential harm of the lover's personality and bad habits, put forward corresponding requirements.Psychologists point out that the benign correction of behavior is the "systematic desensitization" method, and different methods should be adopted according to the personality of the person with bad behavior.That is to say, the person with bad behavior is extroverted, decisive and neat in doing things, and has a sanguine or choleric temperament. You can take the "rush" method against him, use coercive means, and let him correct his bad habits within a time limit; For those who are introverted, calm and procrastinated in doing things, and belong to phlegmatic or depressed temperament, we can adopt a "gradual" method for him, using induction and daily reduction methods, so that he can gradually get rid of bad habits.For example, smoking, extroverted people can persuade him to reduce the amount of smoking every day, gradually reducing from two packs a day to one pack, half a pack, or a few sticks until he quits completely.The harm that bad habits will cause should also be analyzed in detail, and different countermeasures should be adopted according to their different degrees.For example, smoking and playing will not cause much harm to yourself or others. They are general bad habits. You can adopt a gradual method to let your lover get rid of them gradually. Habitual drinking and gambling are especially harmful to others and society. It is a bad habit to cause great harm, so we must use the sudden method to make the lover correct it immediately with a firm attitude. Thirdly, to help a lover with bad habits, the heart must be sincere, the attitude must be correct, and the main means is to inspire their inner feelings and awakening.All your methods must make your lover feel that this is your love for him, so that he can feel the warmth and spur of love from your kind or strict attitude.In order to inspire its inner feelings and promote awakening, you can guide your lover to make "vicious imaginations" so that he can't see the evil consequences of good habits, and you can also guide his lover to make "benign imaginations" so that he understands that even bad habits will not hurt him. I have brought too much harm, and the practice of wasting time, money, and youth will also make people feel sorry and blush.To strengthen inner feelings, psychologists ask people to engage in directed reinforcement.They divide reinforcement into "positive reinforcement" and "negative reinforcement".The so-called "positive reinforcement" is to give affirmation and encouragement to a certain behavior of people, so that this behavior can be consolidated, maintained and developed.The so-called "negative reinforcement" is to deny and punish certain behaviors of people.To weaken, degenerate and die out this behavior. As the spouse of a person with bad habits, you should find ways to promote the other party to achieve self-control to achieve positive reinforcement, and inspire their inner awakening to promote negative reinforcement. Through these two reinforcements, the lover will break with the bad habits. In addition, the correction of bad habits, just like its formation, is not a one-day effort, it needs righteousness and effort.If you give your lover's help with emotion, reason, and perseverance, your wish will not come true in the end. Men always have the idea that as a man, they should take good care of their wives, so as long as their wives ask for it, they should try their best to satisfy her; otherwise, they are incompetent.Many women demand the same from their husbands.As a result, many men "dare to go to the nine heavens to search for the moon" for their beloved wives, even sacrificing themselves.In fact, this is a misunderstanding. A man's concern and consideration for a woman is not only reflected in the satisfaction of his wife.Sometimes, too much accommodation and consideration, Instead, it became poison. For men, not being needed is a kind of slow death, but giving too much is easy to exhaustion.For women, the above statement is also true.If you are too considerate, you will get tired easily, and the other party will also get tired easily. After the famous poet Xu Zhimo met Lu Xiaoman, Xu thought he had found his ideal beauty, and Lu thought she had met his bosom friend.Even though they were both married, the two became hopelessly in love.Xu Zhimo wrote in "Love Eyebrow Notes" "I only want you, and I will forget everything when I have you. I don't want anything, I don't want anything, because I have everything." Finally, the two broke through many obstacles and stepped into their own paradise. Life after marriage is not what Xu Zhimo originally imagined. Lu Xiaoman used to be a well-known young lady in Beijing who could spend money. After marriage, her desire for material things continued unabated, and Xu Zhimo was very "considerate" of Lu Xiaoman at first, and couldn't bear to disobey her wishes, resulting in high debts.For this reason, Xu Zhimo had to give lectures at Guanghua University, Soochow University and Daxia University at the same time, and write books after class to earn manuscript fees. Lu Xiaoman lived in a very elegant bungalow, went to all the fun places in Shanghai, sang operas, performed roles, spent a lot of money, and spared no expense.And Xu Zhimo not only wants to support Lu Xiaoman as an actor, but sometimes he also does what he likes, participates in performances, and joins in a role to support her. Lu Xiaoman was always weak and sick, just like Lin Daiyu.Her beauty came along with her illness, and "it's not completely comfortable for half a day", which not only cost a huge amount of money, but also made Xu feel sad. Gradually, Xu Zhimo was perplexed by Lu Xiaoman's nearly depraved life. He also repeatedly advised and criticized Lu Xiaoman, and even quarreled, but Lu still went his own way. Xu Zhimo's ex-wife, Zhang Youyi, was arranged for him by his parents, and he can divorce, while Lu Xiaoman was found by himself, and he insisted on choosing a partner in the midst of opposition. , a gentleman's demeanor, but his heart is exhausted.This love was finally freed permanently after Xu Zhimo's plane crash. The love between Xu and Lu must be said to be romantic. Its failure should be attributed to Lu Xiaoman's willfulness, but Xu Zhimo is also responsible for being considerate and respectful to her. With the help, Lu Xiaoman became China's Elizabeth Browning. Being considerate to a lover is not just for her to enjoy everything, if this is the case, over time, she will get used to it, and if she can't be satisfied for a while, she will have conflicts. Considerateness must be positioned, and indulgence becomes doting. Taking care of everything for the other party, worrying about food, clothing, housing, transportation, eating, drinking, and sleeping, but ignoring that what the other party needs is a lover, not a nanny or a father. Therefore, men should learn not to respond to their wives' requests. In real life, mutual dependence, mutual support, and mutual help between husband and wife are symbols of a harmonious relationship between husband and wife.However, if one party relies too much on the other, the balance of love will tilt, and this tilt will affect the normal development of the relationship between husband and wife. The so-called dependence means relying on others in all aspects.It generally has several manifestations: one is ideological dependence.Don't use your brain when encountering problems, not good at thinking, copy what others say, lack of ideas, and act according to the will of the husband; the second is the dependence in life. rely.I don't know how to do or don't want to do any big or small things in life, and rely on my husband's love for me to enjoy the benefits; the third is career dependence.She has no ambitions, lacks ideals and pursuits, and only hopes that her husband will flourish and bring good luck to herself; the fourth is economic dependence.Use marriage as a means to find a rich husband and enjoy the glory and wealth. The relationship of over-dependence and dependence is essentially a master-slave relationship.It is at the price of selling one's own dignity, which is a self-deprecating behavior.At the same time, one party relies too much on the other party, which will also bring heavy pressure to the other party, which is not good for his work and life.Over time, the quality of marriage will inevitably be affected. So, how to solve the problem of wife's over-dependence? First of all, as a wife, you must realize the dangers of over-dependence ideologically, and strive to cultivate the habit of using your brains when things happen.For things that are not sure, after repeated thinking in your own mind, come up with a preliminary solution to the problem and discuss it with your husband. Over time, you will accumulate some experience and lay the foundation for handling the problem alone in the future. Secondly, as a husband, you should pay attention to cultivating your wife's self-confidence and independence.It is necessary to make them understand that over-dependence is not deepening or consolidating the husband's love for him, but weakening his attractiveness in front of his husband and destroying love.At the same time, help her strengthen her self-cultivation and develop good living habits. Again, as a wife, you must have the courage to act according to your wishes and will, and don't always try to please your husband against your will and lose yourself.When things happen, you should have your own opinions, instead of acting according to your husband's wink.You must know that the essence of real life lies in independence, and only independence will be respected by others (including husbands).Those who dare to think independently, act independently, and achieve success are the most admirable. As a good wife, you watch your husband carefully.Especially when your husband is upset and depressed, you have to use love to comfort him and let him get out of his emotional trough.Maybe your husband is an upright man and you are a cowardly woman, but you have to understand that everyone has a vulnerable side, not only when you are vulnerable, you often need your husband to comfort you, but your husband is also very vulnerable sometimes. I need your loving comfort. So, what should you do to appease your husband? The first method: please do not disturb him.If your husband has a very strong personality, he generally doesn’t like others to disturb him when he’s feeling down. He just wants to be alone and let the “spiritual garbage” out of his heart, and he will control it after a while yourself, restore your mental balance.If you try to persuade him out of kindness at this time, not only will he not appreciate you, but he will be bored and even lose his temper with you.Therefore, you'd better not disturb him, just give him a chance to be quiet. The second method: Encourage him to get through the crisis.If your husband is extroverted but weak-willed, talking and thoughtful encouragement can help him regain his balance and get back on his feet when he's emotionally unstable. The third method: wordless understanding.For couples who get along day and night and share their hearts, sometimes they don’t need words or obvious care at all. A smile or a knowing gesture from you is enough to make him feel the warmth and strength of caress.Because this silent language contains deep understanding and tacit understanding, once the husband realizes this special caress and encouragement, his depressed emotions will become relaxed, the tension will be quickly eliminated, and his self-confidence will be restored . The fourth method: "Moisturize things silently" care.When your husband is depressed, you can offer to do something for him.But remember, your help must be as natural as "moisturizing things silently", otherwise it will make him feel that it is pity and sympathy. If so, he will feel that you underestimate him and hurt him. His self-esteem, because all males do not like the pity of others. Life is worth savoring and remembering.If we have the opportunity to carefully sort out the experiences we have had, we may be as shocked and astonished as Columbus discovered the New World: a man spends most of his life in boredom , which is a very scary looking thing. The golden time in many men's lives may be handed over to the poker game and the wine table. Let's call it simple boredom.On the head of the willows in the moon, after the evening of the appointment, a few poker or drinking friends with similar interests gathered together at a table early, and the cards were played round after round. After playing, the wine will be emptied one after another, the precious time will flow away inch by inch, and life will disappear little by little with the curling smoke.When people finally knew that they had to put down the card and the wine glass in their hands, it was already too late, and he found regretfully that the chances God had left for him were running out. However, sometimes, people need this kind of boredom because of superficiality, vulgarity, and because they want to escape the loneliness and troubles in the world. There is also an aristocratic boredom which must be dowry with money and wealth.As a result, some rich men linger in the colorful dance halls and in the dimly lit boxes. When they are tired of these games, they go to spend time and drink, or spend all day in golf courses and hot springs. Then go to the sauna and milk bath.This kind of boredom looks quite noble, but it is a kind of boredom after all, but the literati gave it a beautiful name: leisure.In fact, men know in their hearts that if they really have something to do, if they still have to find an Archimedean fulcrum, they won't have time for leisure, and they won't be bored in different ways. Boredom may be a need in life, but it is definitely a pain in life. There is nothing wrong with men being bored under the premise of mastery, because at least one-third of their lives are likely to be prepared for boredom, but the most terrible thing is that men are bored throughout their lives. Indulging in hue is a form of boredom.Some men spend their entire lives trying to please women with all their ingenuity.They either regard skirts as a joy of life, or jealousy as a sign of success, until they have had enough of playing with women and being played by women enough, until boredom makes them both ghosts and flirts, and it becomes the talk of people after dinner. The feverish pursuit of money is a form of boredom.The greed of this kind of man is obvious to all. They reject friendship as well as family affection, reject kindness and at the same time reject all good things in the world. They are just willing to be slaves of money until they guard the last gold coin. The fireflies go out until they become an overwhelmed walking dead. Playing power all day long is boring.On the surface, men who look like gentlemen always wear masks, and their boredom comes at the cost of physical and mental haggardness.For the so-called power, they fought openly and secretly, with ulterior motives, and played tricks, doing one thing in front of the other, and even taking risks and pretending to be powerful.However, there is no peak of power, and if they cannot obtain greater satisfaction and happiness, they can only struggle and plunder more frantically, until they become a talking machine controlled by power. Boring men are sad.The difference is that a good man is bored, and he just uses boredom to dispel the sorrow in his heart; while some men are bored, but rely on boredom to vent their dissatisfaction and animal desire.Their boredom is disaster to themselves and rubbish to the world. A man cannot get rid of boredom, but he can modify his attitude about it.If a man regards boredom as a song, this song must be very popular: if a man regards boredom as a sharp knife, it is undoubtedly a sharp knife that hurts the man himself; if a man regards boredom as a well, this well can only drown the man own well. A man can't say no to being bored, but a man can choose how to be bored.When in pain, empathizing with others, hysteria is a kind of relief; going to the forest or the sea to yell at the sky a few times, whispering with small flowers and trees is also a kind of relief; Pastime: Going for a walk in the park, chatting with friends, or quietly hiding in a small bookstore and splashing ink is also a pastime... Why can't we choose those seemingly boring, but in fact elegant, and full of charm for the world and ourselves? What about the shared lifestyle? Remember, an excellent man does not write boredom on his face, but buries boredom in his heart.Perhaps all men will be bored, but not all men's life is boring. There is only a tendency for men to have more and more secrets. It is absolutely impossible to have no secrets at all, and it is impossible to have fewer and fewer secrets.Why is this? It’s still the same reason: men have too many unspeakable desires and anguish, in order to maintain the dignity of men. Therefore, if women can truly communicate frankly with their boyfriends or close lovers, it can eliminate some men’s anguish and doubts. However, men will have new secrets at any time, and what they are thinking in the next second, they will not know what to do in their hearts. How many secrets are buried, women will not know. For example, even if you and your boyfriend are close confidants and talk about everything, the two of you are sweetly walking on the street, and suddenly there is a slender, beautiful girl walking across from the opposite side, besides, this hot girl She was also wearing a miniskirt, revealing her snow-white and well-proportioned thighs. Maybe he doesn't dare to stare at you blatantly and droolingly, but he will always take the opportunity to take a peek, and he still has the idea of ​​wanting you to go away, and even has a secret in his heart: find One day, I went shopping alone to see if I could meet a sexy girl and have a good time.This woman is so charming.How beautiful would it be if I could have skin-to-skin contact with such a beauty? Of course, this kind of secret cannot be known to you, nor will it be known to you.In fact, he still loves you very much, and he still keeps a considerable degree of frankness with you, but these secrets are his personal exclusive products, and it is impossible to share them with you. Another kind of secret that is increasing is the secret that hurts his self-esteem. It may be that he has some physical defects, or owes money to others, or is bullied by others, or dumped by girls, etc. He never mentions anything that damages his man's dignity, and it is his personal eternal secret. Therefore, after reading this article, don’t think that you have mastered a man’s heart. This is wishful thinking. Men’s secrets will only increase and become more and more complicated. You must share them with more heart. It is possible to know what he is thinking. Why do men have more and more secrets? And they lie frequently and never get tired of it. This needs to be explored in a man's subconscious. Basically, a man's subconscious is the core of desire and the source of motivation. Unlike a woman's subconscious, a woman's subconscious is dominated by emotions and emotions, but a man's subconscious thinks either of female sex or various survival desires satisfaction. Therefore, in terms of life characteristics, a man is an animal that seeks self-survival and growth, and all his thoughts and behavior motivations come from this primitive need. The so-called self-survival means that a man will go all out to get everything he needs to survive, and sometimes he will be unscrupulous.Things like food, money, power, violence, etc., in order to ensure their own survival and expand their own survival, men will take these things as the first step. Therefore, sometimes love in a man's heart is just a tool to obtain these survival resources, and it may not be 100% for love.Therefore, some people say that "love is the whole of a woman, but a part of a man" is the truth. In life, we often hear that the first requirement for some men to find a girlfriend or wife is that the family background must have amazing wealth and career, so that they can save 20 years of struggle. In fact, they can’t be blamed for this. In their minds, being without food is more serious than breaking up in love, and if you really want love, when you have a lot of money, you only need to spend a handful of money, and you can have as many as you want. indivual.These ideas can prove that in the subconscious of men, survival is the first goal. A man's subconscious desire for self-improvement is used to demonstrate his masculine qualities.This desire is actually a beast-like instinct.If there is no problem with the living conditions of a man, he will start to satisfy his other needs, whether it is to establish his own sphere of influence, or desperately find a woman to vent, these are behaviors that satisfy his own desires. Especially in terms of motivation to find a woman, there is an instinct to pass on one's own lifeline, so as long as a man sees a woman he is attracted to, he will have a wild desire to get this woman by any means.This is why money and power will corrupt a man, and why many men with successful careers or high officials have sex disputes. Therefore, based on the motive of multiplying their own race, men will not be able to restrain themselves from being merciful everywhere. This is very different from the instinct of women who want to stay by a man's side for life, and disputes and tragedies arise because of this. After understanding the subconsciousness of men, female compatriots, don’t be afraid. This black box full of desires and vitality in men’s hearts cannot manipulate every man. As long as men have higher cultivation and wisdom, they can adjust their subconscious desires. OK Although most of the men are unable and unable to show it on the surface due to the influence of environment, identity, role and economic factors, the various desires in their hearts are stirring all the time and will never stop, because this kind of desire and longing is The vitality of man. Here is an example that can illustrate how a man's subconscious affects a man: Li is a self-made entrepreneur. When he started his business, he was so miserable that he didn’t even have a meal. His wife was by his side from the beginning to the end, and worked together with him. The two of them have worked together through joys and sorrows for 20 years, and finally succeeded in their careers, and their children have almost grown up.However, Li was in his prime at this time, and after a successful career, he was addicted to the pile of makeup and couldn't extricate himself. Later, when his wife found out about this, he still said that he could not live without women, which made his wife so sad that she wanted to commit suicide.Later, her wife also thought about it and stopped meddling in his affairs. At this time, he had already impregnated three beautiful girls outside.Looking back afterwards, he couldn't believe that he would be like this, abandoning his wife who had shared the joys and sorrows of 20 years. Keep in mind that ten men and nine "colors".As a woman, she is always in the crisis of being "sex-hunted" by the man she loves at any time, and only women know the tension in their hearts.Therefore, as a wife, you should help your husband to see clearly the subconscious and negative life of a man and the potential harm to the woman he loves and his family, so that he can always be vigilant and become a good man with strong self-control. To be a happy woman, you must know how to maintain a healthy state of mind. If the stressful modern life makes your heart flutter, you must learn to overcome it and know how to adjust it, so that you will be truly happy. 1 Depression - the hurt is always yourself In daily life, a certain proportion of women tend to be depressed.When her brows are furrowed, with sensitive eyes and sensitive When the mind tries to figure out what other people say and do, it hurts themselves first.But those who "hurt" them are often at a loss as to what they did wrong? For depressed women, the psychological prescription is—— One of the prescriptions: more activities.In addition to doing housework, it is best to develop the habit of walking. Prescription two: listen to more relaxing music.Music easily enters people's subconscious mind, and the subconscious mind has a greater influence on people than the conscious mind. Prescription three: make full use of the psychological effects of color.Wear more warm tones and less cold tones. Prescription Four: Communicate with others more.And socialize with extroverted, cheerful and lively people. Prescription five: walk with your chest up and your head up.Can gradually build self-confidence, thereby reducing depression. 2. Vanity – distorted self-esteem In fact, a person with a strong sense of vanity has a guilty conscience deep inside. In order to save face, she slaps her face to look fat, and her heart is very empty.The vanity on the surface and the guilt deep inside are always in struggle.Therefore, people with vanity suffer from at least two mental tortures. One is tormented by their unsatisfactory status quo before they achieve their goals; tortured.Therefore, their hearts are always suffering, and there is no happiness at all. For vanity, the psychological prescription is—— One of the prescriptions: the pursuit of truth, goodness and beauty.If a person pursues truth, goodness and beauty, he will not show off himself through improper means, and he will not be in vain. Prescription 2: Overcome the mentality of blind comparison.Comparing with others horizontally will never be psychologically balanced, and it will make your vanity stronger. You must compare, just compare with your past to see if you have made any progress in all aspects. Prescription Three: Cherish your personality.崇高高尚的人格可以使虚荣心没有机会抬头。 3唠叨——好心不得好报 唠叨是女人致命的弱点，常常会因此使好男人弃你而去。 针对女性的唠叨，心理处方是—— 处方之一：把握动机与效果相统一。唠叨的效果往往适得其反，丈夫厌烦，子女逆反，自己还惹了一肚子气。如能多反思唠叨的危害，是走出唠叨误区的一个好办法。 处方之二：心理位置对换。如果丈夫唠叨你，你是否心烦?子女唠叨你，母亲唠叨你呢? 4嫉妒——心灵上的癌瘤 嫉妒是痛苦的制造者，是婚姻的破坏者，是心灵上的癌瘤。 针对女性的嫉妒、心理处方是—— 处方之一：树立正确的竞争心理。社会上竞争无处不在，当看到别人在某些方面超过自己的时候，不要盯着别人的成绩怨恨，更不要企图把别人拉下马，而是应该采取正当的策略和手段，在干字上狠下工夫。 处方之二：树立正确的价值观。有了正确价值观就能在别人有成绩时，去肯定人家的成绩，并且虚心向对方学习。 处方之三：提高心理健康水平。心理健康的人，总是胸怀宽阔，做人做事光明磊落；而心胸狭窄的人，才容易产生嫉妒心理。