Chapter 15 Chapter 4 Mania and Sublimation-5

looking forward to Intimacy is by no means limited to the scope of sexual desire, that is too narrow.It also requires the subject to act with a certain purpose for love, to realize the ideal of emotional exchange, full and complete intimacy.This aspect is related to the volitional process of the human mind. The ancient Stoics have long said that the will is the "rational disposition" of man.It manifests itself in the freedom of decision conditioned by concrete historical conditions, in conscious demands, in rational action. The will to love has a certain inner action and initiative.Intimate contact is virtually impossible without the back and forth movement of its "lever".The will defines ends, chooses the object of affection, makes a decision, takes action, overcomes obstacles, arouses passion, mobilizes strength, and finally realizes love.

According to ancient Greek mythology, the goddess Aphrodite had two sons, Eros (love) and Himeros (wishes).The two were inseparable for life.Eros ignites love and fantasy, Himeros the desire for association. There is a certain intrinsic motivation to love contact.It is an objective expression of the thoughts and feelings we hold about the object in mind.Contact embodies the colorful spiritual factors of love.Various emotions of different colors are purposefully objectified through certain external forms.Favorability requires a certain action on the object to express its essence as an emotion.The lover's appreciation must also be matched by practical performance.

The initiative of tenderness manifests itself as opening the way for intimacy.No matter how deep emotions are, they are hidden inside. How can we turn the beautiful ideal of love into a fulfilling way of intimacy?Victor Hugo wrote the words "Love is action" the day before his death.This adage reveals the most fundamental quality of being in love. The activity inherent in love consists of two indistinguishable processes which form a whole.The first process is libido.The second process is love desire. Sexuality endows the desire for love with great inner strength and is the unconscious motive of the desire for love.The desire for love defines and directs the sexual impulse.It makes sexual desire form a harmonious unity with the higher realms of human aesthetics, morality and social nature.Sexuality is implicit in the wish for love in a "temporarily neglected manner".

The expression of love wishes under specific conditions can be used as an objective yardstick to measure the depth of feelings.Hibtani once wrote: "How a person evaluates an object is not how he talks about the value of the object, but how much effort he has made to obtain the object and finally keep it whole." This aspect has long been known, especially in folklore, poetry, and fiction.Obstacles and difficulties only intensify the concentration of love if they do not exceed the limits of the will. The actions peculiar to love manifest themselves differently at different stages.At first it was just a desire to meet, to talk, to associate.Then necessarily move on to more intimate emotions.It requires meeting the various needs of lovers.These are the stages of a complete realization of love.

The development of intimacy between the sexes requires overcoming inner, purely psychological barriers such as shyness, fear, obsession with another person, fear of rejection of one's affections, and so on.In addition, there are other objective difficulties in the approach of the two parties: the banal requirements of social etiquette, spatial distance and social status gap, etc. Easy possession of a woman reduces the intimacy and social importance of love.In that way, communication seems to be as ordinary as everyday food.Therefore, it is often said that if there is a lack of obstacles of resistance in love, some should be deliberately created.In this way, the will will naturally be invigorated, which can give great motivation to the emotions, and the inner impulse of the emotions will be accelerated, leaving deep impressions on the consciousness of both parties.

In it, Boccaccio eulogized the great inner power of love, which makes people in love bravely face difficulties and inspires them to realize beautiful love.When a person pursues the emotional resonance that he longs for and can bring happiness, he will feel that there is no obstacle in life that cannot be overcome. Thousands of years of love relationship history have proven that the dramatic act of love is inexhaustible, clever and romantic.The impulsiveness of human consciousness without form can overcome the inner distress of nature and mobilize the huge potential willpower to achieve the set purpose.The objective situation of love reality is complicated.These situations are determined by the vagaries of chance.

In world literature, the image of a lover who is steadfast in love and stubbornly overcomes all obstacles has been reproduced and eulogized in a very different way.Persistence in love works wonders.The secret of success mostly lies in the tenacious persistence and unyielding initiative of the initiator of the relationship, in his ability to express his emotions delicately and gracefully, and to take risks and launch bold attacks when necessary. Of course, persistence doesn't always destroy resistance.To attack under the banner of emotion requires a great sense of propriety, passion, virtue.Otherwise, it will go the other way and be counterproductive.Initiative in love is usually a masculine quality.Usually in the hands of men who call themselves "masters".The woman is not passive either.She also takes the initiative and makes choices.Of course, she has her own unique way, she is very particular about strategy, hesitant, tactful and reserved, and even in some cases, the woman takes risks and takes bold and bold actions for her own happiness.

Willpower to love does not always manifest itself as a positively active psychological element that overcomes resistance.It is also manifested as anxious anticipation, bearing the burden of humiliation, fighting against the years, and fighting against the corrosion of the ephemeral.Lovers long to meet each other, but it is a long wait for the hope of future happiness.This willingness to stand the test of time is a quality uniquely human. This waiting is a severe and terrible test of the will of man.What is amazing is that a delicate woman who loves emotion can show extraordinary perseverance and infinite patience, looking forward to the coming of happiness for a long time, year after year, and looking forward to the beautiful day of reunion with her lover.This willing and romantic perseverance has a strong and rich vitality.This kind of spirit proves that there is a deep and unshakable attachment to the loved one, and it proves that the chosen object plays an irreplaceable role in one's own mind and in one's self-worth.Before a long separation, lovers always meet and wait for a reunion.

Homer's "Odyssey" describes how Penelope, Odysseus' wife, waited for her husband for twenty years.She was unmoved by the solicitousness of many suitors.Although Penelope embodies the worship of the patriarchal family in her era, she has become a model for the relationship between husband and wife in the past, symbolizing loyalty and steadfastness.While admiring Odysseus, he was deeply moved, and he sighed, "What the gods who govern Mount Olympus gave you is not a woman's heart, not a wavering heart, but a strong heart. " Ibsen's play "Peer Gynt" also describes this situation.With her charming charm and submissive affection, the gentle Solweger reminds people of the portraits of Renaissance women, and her incomparable fidelity is the embodiment of the Madonna!She waited for the return of her sweetheart who was wandering abroad.When the day finally came, the "purest woman" donned festive attire and sang a lullaby to lull the weary Peer Gynt to sleep.

As a choice for a specific person, love has various characteristics such as willingness, deliberation, and clear motivation, and it is a conscious communication.Love is the free expression of human nature, the actual manifestation of the beautiful and noble, the rational and the crazy, in the hidden realm of life.The essence of love is the free and exciting spirit and the self-realization of the subject. One of Cervantes' heroines, the shepherdess Marcelina, explains to Ambrosio why she cannot love someone she does not love: "I have heard it said that true affection is It can’t be broken apart, and it’s impossible to force people to love. Since this is the case, how can I forcefully surrender my heart.”

Modern people can freely choose the object of their liking as individuals without any coercion or pressure from anyone.In this situation, you can freely fantasize, imagine, passionately pursue and love another person, think, make decisions, and act according to your own mind and value system, and improve your image and prestige in actual actions.Love is a form that affirms that one's personality reaches adulthood, and is an important psychological factor for the actualization of personality.