Chapter 7 idealized image

Having discussed the basic attitudes of the patient toward others, we have become acquainted with the two principal ways in which the patient attempts to resolve, or rather to deal with, conflict: one by suppressing certain aspects of the personality and emphasizing their opposites, The other is to keep a distance between oneself and others so that conflict cannot come into play.Both of these methods give the patient a sense of unity and enable him to develop his various functions, even if it is at his own expense. Another attempt by the patient is to create a self-righteous image, or an image of what he feels he can or should be at that moment.Whether conscious or unconscious, this mental image is always far from reality, although its influence on the patient's life is very real.Not only that, but this imagery always satisfies the patient, as in a painting in which a fat middle-aged woman sees herself in the mirror as a slender and young girl.The specific features of this imagery vary from person to person, depending on personality structure.Some people highlight beauty in this image, while others emphasize power, or wisdom, genius, nobility, and honesty.Anyway, what you think is what.This self-made image is divorced from the actual situation, but it often makes the patient arrogant. Although the word "arrogant" is used as a synonym for being arrogant, it actually means to attribute to one's own qualities that one does not have, or potentially has but does not have in fact, so it is used to describe this kind of person. The most appropriate.The more unreal that kind of image is, the more sensitive and vulnerable the patient is, the more he desires the affirmation and recognition of others.We don't need other people's confirmation of the qualities we are sure we have; but we are extremely sensitive and petty if others doubt the qualities we say we don't have.

We can observe this idealized imagery in the unbridled boasting of the insane; but in the neurotic the same is in principle the character of this imagery.It is true that in the latter the self-image in mind is not as fanciful as in the former, but the patient also believes that it is his true image.If we take the degree to which the image differs from the actual state as the difference between insanity and neurosis, we can regard this idealized image as the product of a combination of a little insanity and neurosis. Essentially, idealized imagery is an unconscious phenomenon.Although the patient's self-exaggeration is all too obvious to a lay observer, the patient is unaware that he is idealizing himself.Nor did he know how many strange features were contained in this imagery.He may have a vague sense that he is making high demands of himself, but since he mistakes this striving for perfection for the real ideal itself, he does not care whether it is true or not, but is proud of it.

How does this attitude of the patient affect his attitude towards himself?This varies from person to person and largely depends on the focus of his interests.If he tries to convince himself that he is his idealized image, he becomes more convinced that he is in fact the Master, and even his faults become sacred.If the patient notices the real self, compared with the idealized image, the real self will be dwarfed and inferior, and the patient will show self-deprecation. Such self-contempt produces a self-image that is the same as the idealized image. , a great distance from the real self.So, we can rightly call it a demeaning image.If the patient pays attention to the gap between his idealized image and his actual self, we can observe that he will go to any lengths to erase this gap and try to achieve perfection.Patients who have this kind of attempt will keep repeating one word: "should".He kept telling us what he should have felt, thought, and done.Deep down, he is convinced that he is inherently perfect, like a naive narcissist.This is manifested in his belief that he can actually be perfect if he's just a little harder on himself, if he's sharper and shrewder.

Unlike real ideals, idealized images have a static quality.It was not a goal he had to work toward, but an idea he worshipped.The real ideal has initiative, it stimulates people to approach it, and it is an indispensable and precious force for growth and development.An idealized image, on the other hand, is certainly a hindrance to growth, because it either denies or only condemns shortcomings.True ideals lead people to modesty, while idealized images lead people to arrogance. The function of idealized images is to satisfy basic needs.No matter how different psychologists explain this phenomenon theoretically, they are consistent on one point, that is, they believe that this phenomenon constitutes a fortress of neurosis, which is difficult to overcome or even impossible to deal with.

Let’s start with perhaps the most fundamental function: idealized imagery that replaces reality-based confidence and pride.A person who ends up being neurotic has no chance of developing self-confidence from the outset, because the situations he encounters are completely destructive.Even if he still has a little self-confidence, it is gradually weakened during the development of the neurosis, because the conditions on which self-confidence depends are always destroyed.These conditions cannot be formed in the short term.The most important factor is living, functional emotional strength, the continued development of what one considers to be true goals, and the ability to be active and active in one's own life.These factors are likely to be destroyed no matter how the neurosis develops.Neurotic tendencies impair the capacity for self-determination because the patient is driven rather than determined for his own behavior.The patient's ability to determine his own course of life is continually impaired, also because of his dependence on others, whatever form this dependence may take: blind resistance, blind attempts to excel, blind remote avoidance of other people's contact—these They are all different manifestations of dependence.Moreover, by repressing a great deal of his emotional forces, he paralyzes them.All these factors make it impossible for him to develop his goals.Last but not least, the basic conflict divides him.Ungrounded, the patient can only inflate and magnify his own sense of function and power.This explains why an essential component of the idealized image is the conviction of one's own infinite power.

The second function is closely related to the first.The neurotic does not feel weak in a vacuum, but fears a world full of enemies.He feels that others will deceive him, belittle him, enslave him, beat him at any time, so he must always be on his guard against comparing himself with others;Because deep down he felt weak, inferior - he had to find something to make him feel better than other people.Whether it manifests itself in a feeling that he is nobler or more cruel than others, or that he is more magnanimous or bitter, in short he must feel in himself that he is superior to others in some way-and this does not include thinking Tendency to outdo others.Such a need contains mainly the element of wanting to excel, because neurotics of whatever structure have a vulnerability to always feel despised and humiliated.To counteract the humiliation, a need for a vindictive victory may exist and act only in the patient's own mind.It can be conscious or unconscious.But it is a kind of internal force, forcing the patient to yearn for advantages, which makes the patient's yearning have a special color.The competitive nature of our civilized institutions not only favors the growth of neuroses in general, it also fosters precisely this quest for superiority.

There is another substitution effect of idealized imagery.Since the patient's ideals are contradictory, these ideals are naturally not binding; and their ambiguous character leaves the patient without any guidance.So, if his pursuit of the idol he created did not give his life some meaning, it would feel completely aimless.This became especially evident during the course of the analysis; his idealized imagery only undercut his self-confidence and made him feel for a while that he was completely screwed.It was only at this time that he realized the confusion of his ideals and began to feel that this confusion of ideals was not desirable.The whole problem had hitherto been unnoticed and unintelligible to him, though he paid lip service to it; now, for the first time, he realized that ideals had real implications, and he wanted to make himself clear. What is the ideal actually.This experience of the patient thus testifies to the substitution of the idealized image for the real ideal.An understanding of this function has clinical implications.Early in the treatment the analyst can point out to the patient the contradictions in his values.But he cannot expect the patient to show an active interest in this problem, so he cannot start to solve the patient's value contradiction until the patient has been able to give up his idealized image.

Among the various functions of this idealized image, there is mainly one specific function, which contributes to the dead and unchanging character of the idealized image.If we secretly see ourselves as perfect gods, our most obvious faults and flaws can be hidden and even turned into strengths. What a person regards as his own shortcomings and faults depends on what he accepts and what he rejects.However, which aspect of the basic conflict prevails under similar cultural conditions is the determining factor.For example, the submissive type does not see their fears and weaknesses as shortcomings, but the aggressive type regards such feelings as shameful and should be hidden from others and from themselves.Also, each type can't help denying the fact that its merits are only in name.For example, the submissive type is not really full of kindness and generosity, but the submissive type patient must deny this; the lonely type patient does not choose loneliness freely, but because he cannot cope with others, but the patient also denies this.Usually, both types reject sadistic tendencies.We thus conclude that what the patient regards as a shortcoming and rejects it is that which is out of harmony with the prevailing attitude towards others.We could say that the defensive function of the idealized image is to deny the existence of conflict; that is why that image is absolutely static.Before I realized this, I often wondered why it was so difficult to convince the patient that he was not as great and outstanding as he thought he was.Now it's clear from this angle.The patient cannot back down an inch, because the admission of a defect in himself would bring him into confrontation with his own conflict and thus threaten the artificial harmony he had created.So we can also find a definite correlation between the intensity of the conflict and the rigidity of the idealized image.The more complex and rigid the idealized imagery, the more serious the conflict is implied.

A fifth function of idealized imagery is also concerned with fundamental conflicts.It embodies an artistic creation of the patient, which makes opposites seem harmonious, or at least no longer appear to be in conflict in the patient's own eyes.Just a few examples will show why.For the sake of brevity, only the conflict that exists and how it appears in the idealized imagery is stated. In someone's inner conflict, the dominant tendency is the submissive tendency—his desperate need for affection and approval, his need for care, his desire to be sympathetic and generous, his desire to be discreet and loving in every way; taking second place The conflicting aspect is self-isolation tendency, consistent aversion to gregariousness, emphasis on independence, fear of connection, and fear of coercion.His solitary tendencies were constantly in conflict with his need for intimacy, and as a result he was repeatedly dysfunctional in his relationships with women.In addition, he had a marked aggressive drive, manifested as indirect domination and occasional direct exploitation of others, and an aversion to intervention.Naturally, these tendencies greatly impair his ability to court and make friends, and contradict his solitary tendencies.Since he was unaware of the existence of these drives, he created an idealized image made up of three characters: First, he considers himself the most loving and friendly person, and does not believe that any woman is interested in a man. Love can surpass his love for people, and no one is more kind and loving than him.Second, he considered himself the most dominant person of his time, a political leader whom everyone feared.In the end, he also felt that he was a great philosopher, a rare genius of great virtuousness and great wisdom, who could gain insight into the meaning of life and the ultimate value of existence.

An idealized image thus constituted is by no means a wild idea.Patients have great potential in all of these areas.But he elevates the potential infinitely into something already realized, into a mighty achievement that belongs only to me.Not only that, but the compulsiveness of the drive is masked and replaced by the patient's belief that he has innate talents and temperaments.In this way, the neurotic desire for warmth and approval is regarded by him as the ability to love;Last but not least, his conflicts are "eliminated" in such a way that drives that actually interfere with each other and prevent him from realizing his own potentialities are lifted by him into abstract perfection, where What he sees becomes several coordinating aspects of a rich personality; the three aspects of the basic conflict they represent are isolated in the three characters that make up his idealized image.

The importance of isolating conflicting factors.This can be more clearly illustrated by another example.There is a man whose main tendency is self-isolation, which is still very strong, with all the characteristics we have mentioned before.He also has a very obvious tendency to submit, which of course he ignores because it is too contradictory to his independent requirements.He also wants to be extremely good, an effort that occasionally breaks through the repressed shell.In addition, there was a conscious desire for closeness, which was in constant conflict with his solitary tendencies.He can only be aggressive and ruthless in his own imagination: he fantasizes about mass destruction and wants to kill all those who interfere in his life.He bluntly declared that he believes in the philosophy of the jungle, and believes that power is the truth, selfishness is a matter of course, and that kind of life style is wise and not hypocritical.However, in his actual life, he is always timid and fearful, and only shows his tough side under certain circumstances. His idealized image is composed of the following strange combination of characters: most of the time, he is a hermit living alone in the mountains, and his wisdom has already reached the realm of supernatural and holy; occasionally, he is transformed into a wolf, completely devoid of humanity, bent on bloodthirsty.As if these two irreconcilable characters weren't enough, he's also the best friend and lover. In this example we see the same denial of neurotic tendencies, the same self-aggrandizement, the same fallacy of treating potentialities as actualities.However, there is no attempt to reconcile the conflict in this example, and the contradiction remains intact.However, compared with real life, these tendencies seem real and pure.Because they are isolated from each other and do not interfere with each other, which seems to be what the patient seems to want, the conflict "disappears". Take another example of a more unified idealized image.A person's behavior in real life is aggressive, with sadistic tendencies.He is always domineering and demanding, driven relentlessly by his will to conquer.He is strategist, organized, defiant, and consciously embracing an out-and-out jungle philosophy.This person is also very lonely and withdrawn; but because of his aggressive drive that keeps him from breaking out of his connection to others, he cannot always remain withdrawn.However, he was scrupulously careful not to get involved in any direct personal relationship, and he disliked crowds.He did this with great success, because affirmative feelings for others had been deeply repressed, and the desire for his intimacy was expressed mainly sexually.However, he still has a clear tendency to submit and wants approval, but this need interferes with his quest for force.In addition, he secretly has some moral standards—of course, they are mainly used to restrain others, but since this is the case, he can't help but apply them to himself.These standards are naturally incompatible with his philosophy of the jungle. In his idealized image, he is a warrior in shining armor, with eyes and ears, and a fearless pursuit of justice.As a wise man of power should, he did not accept particularly close personal friends, but he rewarded and punished him fairly.He is honest and not hypocritical.Women loved him, and he was an excellent lover, but never tied himself down to a woman.Here, as in other cases, the patient achieves the same goal: he mixes together the elements of the fundamental conflict. It can be seen that the idealized image is an attempt to resolve the basic conflict, and it is at least as important as the attempt mentioned above.It has great subjective value, can be used as a cover-up, and can bring together split personalities.Although it exists only in the patient's mind, it exerts a decisive influence on his relations with other people. The idealized image can be called a fictional, phantasmagorical self.But this only tells half the truth, so it is easy to lead people astray.When conceiving this idealized image, patients take it for granted based on their subjective wishes.This is a striking feature, especially when we consider that the patient is otherwise reasonable and factual.But this feature does not make the idealized image a pure fiction; there are very real factors intertwined in this ideal image, and it is precisely because of the role of these real factors that this imagination is produced.This idealized image usually contains the patient's real ideal.Although the grandeur of achievement is pure fantasy, the underlying potentialities are often real.It is more likely that this idealized image arises from the real needs of the heart, can play a real function, and have a real impact on the patient.Its production depends on certain definite laws, so that we can infer precisely the real composition of the patient's character when we know its specific manifestations. But, however fantastical this idealized image may be, the neurotic himself feels it to be real.The more obsessively he conceived of this image, the more he felt himself to be that image, while at the same time his true self was correspondingly blotted out.This inversion of black and white occurs precisely because of the role of idealized imagery.These functions all aim to obliterate the real personality and highlight the idealized self.We need only review the histories of many patients to be convinced that this idealization of the individual actually saved the patient's life.This also explains why the patient's resistance when this idealized image is attacked is perfectly justified or at least logical.As long as he feels that it is real and intact, he feels that he is different, superior, and in harmony; though these feelings are entirely illusory.Because he thinks he is smart, he thinks he has the right to demand and demand.But if he allows others to shatter his idealized image, he is in immediate danger, that is, he will face his own weakness, see that he is not entitled to anything at all, that he has turned out to be nothing, even in his own eyes. It is not worth mentioning.Even more frightening, facing his own conflicts, he developed a great fear of being divided.He had heard people say that his situation was his chance to become a good person, that these conflicting feelings were far more valuable than his idealized image; but for a long time they meant nothing to him either.It was a leap in the dark that frightened him. Since idealized imagery deserves our admiration for its enormous subjective significance, it would probably be indestructible if it had not always had its drawbacks.First, the foundations of this house of images are precarious because it is largely fictional.The treasure-filled house contained explosives, thus rendering the patient virtually vulnerable.As long as the outside world questions or criticizes him a little bit, as long as he realizes that he is far from that ideal image, as long as he glimpses the conflicting forces in his heart, his treasure house will explode and collapse.The patient can only avoid this danger by limiting his life.He tries to avoid things that won't be praised and rewarded by others.He must evade tasks of which he is not absolutely sure.He may even develop an aversion to all practical endeavors.He considered that, for a man of his genius, the mere thought of the possibility of completing a painting constituted the completion of a masterpiece.Only a mediocre person achieves his goal by actual efforts; asking him to work hard like Zhang San Li Si is tantamount to admitting that he is an ordinary person, and it is a great shame.Since practically any achievement depends on effort, this attitude of his just made his imperative goals more distant and out of reach.Thus, the disparity between his ideal self and his real self becomes greater. He constantly expects others to affirm him, including asking others for approval, praise, flattery, etc.; however, these can only give him temporary comfort.He may unconsciously hate anyone who is more prominent, or who is superior to him in some way, such as more independent, better-mannered, more knowledgeable, etc., because such a person threatens his own evaluation.The more attached he is to his idealized image of himself, the stronger this hatred becomes.Or, if his own arrogance is repressed, he may adore those who profess their importance and display acts of dominance.What he loves is the idealized image of himself he sees in them, but sooner or later he must find that the gods he worships are only for themselves, and they only care about how many incense sticks he burns under their feet.At that time, he inevitably fell into deep disappointment. Perhaps the worst problem that arises from idealizing the self is the resulting alienation from the self.We repress or suffocate vital parts of ourselves, and we inevitably become alienated from ourselves, a change which is gradually brought about by the development of a neurosis which, with all its essential features, is unconscious. Forming.The patient completely forgets what he really feels, likes, rejects, believes; in a word, his real self.He does not know that he is living according to an idealized image.Naturally, it is impossible for the patient to behave in this way without entanglement in the "spider web" of his own unconscious excuses and rationalizations.The patient loses interest in life because the person who lives is not himself; he cannot make any decisions because he does not know what he really wants; His self has always been a stark expression of alienation.To understand this state, we must realize that the layer of illusion that veils the inner mind necessarily extends to the outer world.The whole situation is summed up in one patient's words: I would be better off if it weren't for the interference of this real world. Finally, although the idealized imagery is created to get rid of the basic conflicts, and to a limited extent it can be said to achieve this end, at the same time it creates new rifts in the personality, which are more dangerous than the previous ones.Roughly speaking, a person conceives of himself as an ideal image because he cannot tolerate the image of himself as he really is.Idealized images are obviously used to counteract his detestable real image; Annoyed by that request.So he wavers between self-appreciation and self-discrimination. The idealized self and the real self make him in a dilemma, and he can't find a solid and reliable middle ground. Thus a new conflict arises between his compulsive and contradictory attempts on the one hand and the inherently arbitrary nature of the inner disorder on the other.He reacts to this inner arbitrariness as one reacts to political dictatorship.He may identify himself with this inner decision maker, that is, feel as great as he is told to be; or he may be careful to live up to that standard; Take on the obligations imposed on him by the heart.If he reacts in the first way, we have a professed "narcissist," a man who accepts absolutely no criticism; the gaps in his actual being are not perceived by his own consciousness.If he is the second way, we have a type that appears to be a perfect person, what Freud called the superego type.In the third mode, the patient manifests a refusal to take any responsibility for people or events; he tends to appear eccentric and denies everything.I use the word "behaved" on purpose because whatever his response was, he was fundamentally struggling all the time.Even the rebellious patient, who usually thinks of "freedom," tries to overturn this imposed standard; he also uses it to measure others, which only proves that he is still subject to his own idealized image.Sometimes, patients go to one extreme for a while, and then go to that extreme for a while.For example, he may want to be a good person for a certain period of time, but he does not get any comfort from it, so he makes another big turn and goes to the opposite, resolutely opposing this "good" standard.Or, he may switch from extreme self-admiration to perfection.More often we see a combination of these attitudes.All this points to the fact—and it is not difficult to understand this fact with our theory—that none of these attempts are satisfactory to the patient, they can only lead to failure in the end; they should be regarded as The means employed by a patient to escape an intolerable situation.In any difficult situation we see vastly different means of coping, and when one does not work, we use the other. All these attempts together form a powerful obstacle to normal development.The patient cannot learn from his mistakes because he cannot see his own mistakes.Despite his self-confessed success, he eventually loses interest in his own growth.When he talks about growing up, it's just an unconscious idea of ​​creating a more perfect idealized self-image, one without flaws. Therefore, the first task of treatment is to make the patient aware of the details of his idealized image, help him gradually realize his function and subjective value, and make him see the distress it will inevitably bring him.The patient then begins to ask himself whether it is too costly for him to do so.But he can only renounce that idealized image once and for all when his needs that created it are greatly reduced. ．