Chapter 39 The Chinese should refrain from anger

Confucius once praised his disciple Yan Hui for "doing not vent his anger".When I saw this sentence, I was still young and didn’t understand it very well. I only saw that human beings have many shortcomings, which are much more destructive than anger.Today, if we look at the words of Confucius again, we can truly understand the original intention of Confucius. In our real life, how many people are angered by the leaders of the work unit, and when they return home, they blame their innocent wives; Growing children are often the "pegging bag" for this kind of anger, too. Because their egos are not strong enough to withstand mistakes and stress on their own, these anger takers can only regain their sense of self-affirmation by spreading their frustrations out on innocent people.Take a closer look at the scapegoats of those who vent their anger, and it is often the weaker ones.Anger is always transferred from the top down, which exposes an unequal relationship.And it is despicable to take advantage of this unequal interpersonal relationship and use anger to regain affirmative self.We must be especially vigilant against this point in the organization. It is not advisable to be angry at the superiors and turn to the subordinates.Essentially we have to quit being angry.Getting angry intensifies conflicts, and what is even more inappropriate is venting anger, which will gradually turn interpersonal relationships into "evil" relationships.

Chapter 90: The Dangerous Appearance of the "Big Self" The Dangerous Appearance of "Big Self" Sometimes we regard sacrificing ourselves for the benefit of others or the collective as "selflessness", which actually refers to "selflessness".Some "selfless" hero reaches this state, and people will say that he has reached the "self" state.A hero under the usual concept is always inseparable from bravery, and also the pride of representing a certain group and a certain nation.But such heroes often have the limitations of the times. Yue Fei was a national hero back then, but he is narrow-minded today when all nationalities are united.As a representative of the "big self", Yue Fei has lost its meaning today.

Even today, many heroes who sacrificed themselves for a certain nation or a certain belief group will lose their meaning in the future. "Once succeeds, ten dies", sadly, the bigger the hero, the more damage he sometimes does to humanity as a whole. Becoming a hero is still the dream of many people, so there is still a market for heroism.But when the blood of heroism rushes to your mind, you must be quiet and think about it.Whether the behavior you are about to implement has the dross of personal ambition, and whether the beneficiaries are the most numerous.More importantly, you should carefully weigh whether your behavior will inevitably lead to harm, whether it will add value to the negative forces in the world, and if so, don't be a "hero".

Chapter 91: Gain the real feeling of life get real feeling of life There is a dialogue in a Korean TV series. The Empress Shanggong asked everyone to taste the special seasoning in the stew. Almost everyone answered that it was white sugar. Only Jang Geum said, "It's not white sugar, it's red persimmons." The empress Shanggong Ask: "Why do you think there are red persimmons in it?" Jang Jin said: "Because I tasted the taste of red persimmons." Jang Jin simply answered "I tasted it", while others used a certain Answer with the standard answer in a chef's textbook.Jang Geum answered correctly, what she tasted was her true feelings, no dogma or preaching was more authentic and reliable than her own personal experience.

Dogma often causes us to lose our way, not to trust ourselves, not to trust our own true feelings, not to trust our own eyes, but to trust what others say.Then again, how can we find ourselves when the "ego" is filled with pride, personal vendettas, prejudices, dogmas and superstitions.At this time, we can throw the full garbage bag of "self" into the trash can. Now is the era of self-inflated fashion, thinking that if you abandon yourself, you have nothing.But long ago, philosophers proposed the state of "selflessness".What kind of state is this?Let's think about the existence of the so-called "I", it must be because there is a comparison with "he". "I" appeared because of "he", without "he" there would be no "I".For example, when a person is alone, the self disappears.At that time, if you still have a "self", it must be because you still think about a "he" who is not in front of you.

Once you are completely alone, you only have relationships with what is around you.You look at the table, look at the lamps, or touch them, and your senses are fully opened.Your life has a real relationship with various things because of hearing, seeing, and touching.Your life becomes concrete and alive.It was a very pleasant moment of tranquility.This can prove that people can be "selfless", and what you get in return comes from the real feeling of life.This is the solitude and meditation I advocate, when there is the joy of being awakened.