Chapter 37 Youth is exaggerated, it will become anxiety

We should enjoy love and care in childhood; we should study hard in adolescence; we should work hard and innovate in youth; we should be more responsible in middle age; as for old age, we should be at ease and pass on our wisdom and experience to young people people.Confucius said: "Thirty to stand up, forty without confusion, fifty to know the destiny, sixty to listen, seventy to follow one's heart and not overstep the rules." He has explained the characteristics and meanings of people at various stages very classically.God has arranged for the things that are suitable for each age.Our body and spirit have different characteristics at different stages, we should judge according to the characteristics, we can’t mess it up, otherwise we will have mental abnormalities.And people of every age have their unique value, which constitutes the richness of our life. During the "Cultural Revolution", we regarded "young" as idols.The revolutionary spirit of revolution, rebellion, etc. has been given to young people.In recent years, young entertainment stars have become the focus of pop culture, and "young" is still an idol.Being young has been repeatedly molded into the segment with the greatest added value at all ages.People over thirty have the anxiety of not being young anymore. What's more, they lie about their age for fear that others will say that they are no longer young.In ancient times, there were incidents of young people carrying useless old people to the mountains to starve to death. Although these ugly and inhuman phenomena have disappeared, the concept of valuing the young and despising the old is still in the torrent of culture. secretly flowing.

Simply put, people need to escape from the anxiety of time passing by and youth being lost.When time flies and you reflect on yourself, you will find that no matter how you think about your past, you have regrets.I had an idea about the ideal state of life many years ago.The first is to have a material basis that can meet basic needs.Second, you need to have a few friends you can talk to.Other people's conversations can inspire me, and maybe his few words remind me of a lot.If the people around me are in an unequal, discriminatory, and very hostile state, it will give me a bad feeling.The third is the natural environment I live in. It should be a very natural environment without pollution, damage, or sandstorms.

But the world is not perfect, everyone has shortcomings.Especially youth is bound to be lost.We should not be obsessed with its time, but transform its vitality, sensitivity into a state.A good life must be a mixture of your satisfaction and dissatisfaction, your success and failure. This is abundance.Abundance is good.A good life is a rich life, is a single, happy life every day good?I don't think so, if you are happy every day, you don't know happiness.So life should be like nature - the sky is sunny, the sky is cloudy, the sun comes out, and it rains.This richness is happiness. To grasp this richness, there is no need to be unable to let go of a certain shortcoming in your life.

Section 85: Any fixed relationship is a relationship of slavery and enslaved Any fixed relationship is a relationship of slavery and slavery I discovered early on that any fixed relationship is a relationship of slavery and being enslaved.When people have been together for a long time, there must be a priority, and it must be a relationship in which one of them leads the other.Fortunately, over time, people will develop feelings.This feeling conceals the inequality of the relationship and downplays the discomfort in the relationship. After working for a period of time, we have some tacit understanding and consensus with each other. This is a very beautiful thing, and it is also very sacred.But once it is fixed, problems will arise.If two people are good friends, so good that no matter what happens to the other person or how things change around them, they will always be good friends, then there must be a relationship of enslavement and enslavement between these two people.The so-called "friendship between gentlemen is as light as water" should be a warning to the problems caused by fixed relationships.This point, whether it is from my personal experience or from the experience of others, is the same conclusion.All relationships may not necessarily be described as slavery and oppression, but at least active and passive—because the relationship can only be fixed after the emergence of active and passive.

It is impossible to form a fixed relationship if you are always thinking about balance and equality.In fact, fixed relationships do not need to be balanced.In a family, you have to think about it, either machismo makes the wife afraid, or the wife is afraid.People who want to get married must think clearly about this matter first.Modern people advocate freedom, equality, and fraternity. How many people want to resist, the end result is either running away from home or falling apart.I didn't think about it when I first got married, so Zhang Xin ran away from home.A fixed relationship is unnatural. Marx even said it badly in the "Communist Manifesto", but a fixed relationship is beneficial to the current social stability and development. In real life, in order to accomplish something, the relationship must be fixed.For example, in order to build a house, you have to set up a company. In the company, you have to listen to me. If you don’t listen to me, the house cannot be built; in a family, you have to have children and raise children. What about a lot of kids?Plato proposed back then that when adults give birth to children, their parents cannot see them, and they should be sent directly to schools, where they will be raised by the public.This formulation has not been realized until now, and even at that time it was criticized by many people.Judging from today's China, his proposal is simply inhumane. Why should you take away a child born to someone else?So you have to think about getting married.Love itself does not require marriage.Marriage is only required to have children.Everything you do from getting married is for your children.A family, the relationship built around children is actually a business, with consultations and affairs in it.

In the current environment, we need consultations, and consultations have already occurred, but it is difficult to say that we can achieve perfect consultations.For example, the personality equality required for perfect negotiation has not been fully established.The transparency of information required for perfect consultation, without intellectual distinction, was not achieved.What should you do? You cannot stop living just because your ideal has not been realized.We still have to live, live, and hope that the environment will get better, or try to improve bit by bit.If you think about this clearly, you may gain a better state of mind, peace of mind, and detachment.