Chapter 4 Part A (Part 1) (Part 1 - Part 2)

With the US dollar, where is the honor and disgrace?The confusion of the Danish fairy tale princess is the highest level of confusion in the value chain of life. Danish Fairytale Princess Drunk and Singing Zhong Tuluo Controllable nuclear fusion april is cruel season Case Tips: Meng Ruoyun is a 32-year-old lady from Kunming, Yunnan. In 1990, Ms. Meng dropped out of university in her sophomore year and married her husband who had immigrated to Denmark two years before her.In Denmark, the couple struggled hard and finally opened a motel and lived a stable life of the middle class.It is said that Ms. Meng is an enviable success on the way to go abroad.But since she returned to China for the first time to visit relatives in 1997, she has become distraught. In 2001, she persuaded her husband to return to China and came to New Oriental.

Her question: to keep reading, or not to read at all?To Canada, or to the United States? The Advent of the Princess After the Spring Festival of the Year of the Horse, a friend introduced his wife’s younger sister to me for consultation on studying abroad.I thought it was an ordinary and repetitive conversation. Unexpectedly, the beautiful princess in Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tales appeared in front of me in the dusk. Her slender body is dressed in elegant fashion; her jade skin is lined with bright pearls; around her, there is an astonishing fragrance; her eyes flicker and flicker to me, silently, like stars looking down on the world from the sky , like a pearl floating out of the sea in the middle of the night.It is as graceful as a frightened bird, like a swimming dragon, full of chrysanthemums and luxuriant spring pine trees.My friend said his wife and sister were thirty-two years old, but it was clearly a twenty-three-year-old girl in front of me.Watching her show off her femininity, I was speechless for a long time.I can't remember whether my mouth was closed or not at that time.

I said, "I only talk to hopeless students. People like you who make people hopeless don't waste my time!" My words implied admiration for her.Meng Ruoyun's thoughtful, hallucinatory eyes lit up, and she said excitedly: "Mr. Xu, thank you! But this is the fundamental reason why I am looking for you. I am just a desperate Man. How much time do you have for me?" After speaking, she rolled up her sleeves and looked at the latest sapphire Rolex fashion watch she wore on her right wrist.I admit, I'm pretty vulgar, actually spying on what watches other people wear.

"How much time can you give me?" She asked again, "How about we have dinner together?" The message in my mind was: "It is obviously my dream to have dinner with a beautiful woman like you." But the words output from my mouth became: "Sorry, I have other arrangements, let's talk about your business quickly, Let's skip the meal." Meng Ruoyun actually wants to invite me to dinner, which shows that her problem is very serious! Night was falling, covering my office.The silent lights of the day gradually revealed its ubiquitous hustle and bustle, and the city began to float transparently.Meng Ruoyun narrated her life story, and Xu Xiaoping fell into deep thought... The princess's departure. Meng Ruoyun just came back from abroad more than a month ago and went to New Oriental to learn English.I asked her which country she settled in and she told me Denmark.No wonder there is an exotic fragrance floating around her!But she said: "It's so small, so boring!"

Meng Ruoyun's hometown is in Kunming. In the spring of 1990, she was in her sophomore year of college. With the help of a relative, she met an overseas Chinese who had emigrated to Denmark from China two years before her.Meng Ruoyun dropped out of school hastily, got married hastily, and hurried to Denmark.One to ten years. Hearing this, I immediately knew where her problem was.I said, "You left China to get married before you even had time to finish college. Obviously, all your problems lie here! Why do you have to be so hungry when you go abroad!" "At that time, everyone wanted to leave. Unlike now, everyone wants to come back!" Meng Ruoyun said sadly.As if it was some beautiful mistake for the country to be so exciting.

Those who were able to go abroad in 1990 were of course the lucky ones.Although Denmark is so far away, she thought at the time that the farther away from China the better.Not only was there butter, croissants, and a little match girl there, but there was Mr. Meng Chang, as I nicknamed her husband, waiting for her to marry and have children.Twenty-year-old Meng Ruoyun flew away from Yunnan, where the four seasons are like spring, to Denmark, where little match girls can be frozen to death all year round, and began her ten-year overseas life . Meng Ruoyun never expected that one day when she returned to this land that she was eager to abandon and then quickly, the biggest crisis of belonging in her life would arise!

In Denmark, Meng Ruoyun and her husband worked hand in hand. The two opened up a small sky with bare hands, ran a good motel, and lived a life of the middle class in the West.Needless to say, it was a fantastic success. Who said that food and clothing must lead to lust?China's educated youth actually think of a higher social status and knowledge level first after they have enough food and clothing.Within ten years, Meng Ruoyun completed the struggle for survival, Meng Ruoyun obtained Danish citizenship, Meng Ruoyun obtained financial security, and the relationship between Meng Ruoyun and her husband went from passionate to calm as a mirror to finally as plain as water.After all, she was thirty-two years old!

This is a dangerous age for women. "Life in Denmark is really good materially. But the spiritual life is boring! The only person who can watch it repeatedly every day is my husband. But the only pleasure for my husband is waiting for guests. He is happy when he sees guests-not because 'Friends come from afar', but because 'money' comes from afar. When guests come, there is nothing to say. Oh, it's so annoying!" Meng Ruoyun locked her brows, which was as heavy as the door of a bank vault, making her who looked ten years younger than her actual age suddenly become a middle-aged woman, and suddenly aged!Her expression became extremely anxious and disordered.Anxiety came over her.Freezing three feet is not a day's cold.Meng Ruoyun was so anxious that he must have a sharp pain.The prediction in my heart was confirmed.My heart waits to brew sorrow for her.

I saw: in that distant Denmark, next to the endless highway, neon lights flashed a huge and lonely M sign - Mengji's Motel.The car is like an alien spaceship, shuttling silently at the gate of Mengji Motel.Occasionally, a car would land on their front desk like a meteorite, and the guests who got out of the car would speak the language of the Martians, pose as the Martians, and walk into the room to do what the Martians should do.The currency left behind can be used on the earth; but the noise taken away has turned this place into Guanghan Palace.A man has no charm without a career--Meng Changjun saw his wife's increasingly shining clothes, secretly admired himself in his heart, and continued to wait for the arrival of the Martians in order to buy more brand-name products for his woman.A woman is not beautiful if no one appreciates it--Meng Ruoyun looked at the beauty in the mirror that was rarely praised by others, deeply felt the boredom of life, lowered her head and thought over and over again whether such a life was happiness or hard labor, freedom or imprisonment.

She returned to China for the first time in 1997, and since then she has been unacceptable, returning two or three times a year.In Yunnan, she saw the completely changed image of the city after the International Expo there, and then went to Shenzhen, Shanghai, and Beijing, and fell into a huge emptiness.She developed a feeling of being cheated by life.Could it be that I have lived in vain for the past ten years!She wants to seize the tail of her youth, go back to China, re-experience the fiery feeling of life that can only be obtained in her own country, and rediscover the dream buried in her heart since she was a girl: to be a person of value.The so-called value is social value.In a place like Denmark, Meng Ruoyun, a Chinese girl, can't realize the social value she agrees with except doing a small business like opening a hotel and selling matches to make a living.

You don't need a reason to love someone.You don't need any reason to love your country.The changing China, the prosperous hometown, the boiling land, and the rich partners have given Meng Ruoyun many reasons! “In Denmark, it’s meaningless even if you wear a Rolex on each finger. No one knows you. In fact, exoticism is enough to see for a month. It’s not necessary to experience it for ten years and experience it again. Another ten years. I want to go back to China!" Meng Ruoyun looked at me with dreamlike and poetic eyes, which frightened me—I was afraid that she would fall in love with me as her motherland in the extreme emptiness, although I knew it was just an illusion I often had --I am afraid that with my moral will, I can at most be a Jiang Taigong, but not reach the advanced level of Liu Xiahui. I waved my hand in front of her eyes to bring her back to reality.I said: "No, your husband is still waiting for you with a spare room in the hotel in Denmark! When there are not many guests, you can definitely sleep in the driver's suite and eat cheese every day. See, no one can touch your cheese! Boom" Like a father, I developed strong sympathy for this lost child. princess lost the reality is cruel.Thirty-two-year-old Meng Ruoyun, although she has seen the life direction and goal of seeking her own life value in China for the rest of her life, it is not easy for her to achieve this goal.The poor motherland does not lack population, she lacks high-quality talents.Meng Ruoyun has been abroad for ten years, Denmark doesn't want to stay anymore, but China may not need her either. She has only one year of university study experience, not even a junior college student or a vocational student.What can people with this kind of education do at this age, plus they have come back from abroad?The work she is willing to do, the work does not want her to do; the work she wants to do, she will not do.Dilemma!This is the modern classic annotation of Handan Learning to Walk. So she thought of reading.But where to read it?Back home to study, what to read?Study abroad, where to go?What to learn?If she had taken the wrong path in life in the past ten years, now she can no longer bear the consequences of any wrong choices.Otherwise, at the age of forty, she would definitely enter menopause early. The most terrible thing is that because she lives in Denmark, although she can read Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tales in Danish German, she can't speak English.Overseas Chinese who do not speak English not only cannot go to the world, but it is also difficult to return to China.This is one of her fatal dilemmas.So she was determined to learn English, and came to New Oriental from Denmark.She is determined to finish learning English and study for an undergraduate student in the UK or Canada. "It is said that some universities can complete the joint study of undergraduate studies in four years, and obtain a master's degree in four years. The major is economics or management", so She came to me for a consultation. "Ms. Xu, I want you to give me an idea. What should I do? Should I go to Canada? Or England? Should I continue to read a book, or not?" Thirty-two, plus four, equals thirty-six.I calculated it in my head, and finally shook my head: "Don't read this. It's too long. This project is not for you." "Then what do you think I should do?" Meng Ruoyun looked at me anxiously. "Let me think about it." I thought confidently, "I must have a unique trick, although I don't know what it is yet. I can definitely change your destiny. I can definitely bring you a turning point in your life." I said heavily Nodding and whispering.Started to concoct the recipe for her future. princess revival After much deliberation, I said to her: "If you have decided to go back to China for development, and your husband agrees, I will firmly support it. For you, this is the only correct choice. Chinese people, go abroad just to go back to China. You have been abroad for a long time, and you have achieved it. The various values ​​contained in going abroad. Come back as soon as you can. If you don’t return to the country when it’s time to return, you will become a monk when you go abroad. Just like you are now: you have a country but no home in China, and you have a home but no country in Denmark. Become an international Marginal people are always flying back and forth on the Sino-Danish route, and their souls can never land. "But the problem is: the current China is not something you can come back to if you want to. This country does not need you - you have neither improved professionally and technically for returning to China, nor have you prepared mentally and mentally for returning to China. Cultural review. Your education is too low, no one will hire you--the person who hires you will definitely not be a good person. I am against education standardism, but how can a person like you who has neither degree nor skills return to China? Finding your place? So you're cornered and frustrated. "For so many years abroad, what else do you do besides open a motel? Come back to open a motel, a big cart shop, a luoma market, and a Panjiayuan? Give up your mind. Doing business in China must have Chinese characteristics. If you don’t understand Chinese characteristics, how can you deal with hooligans and leading cadres! After ten years in Denmark, I have read too many fairy tales by Andersen, and you will become the protagonist of the fairy tales yourself, and you will not be able to tell Chinese stories. Without education, go back to China Of course, you can't do professional work; and without Chinese experience, you can't even do low-end business! "Considering the above two shortcomings of yours, plus the age factor, I suggest you go back to China to 'study abroad'!" Meng Ruoyun took a deep breath, opened her eyes wide, and didn't speak for a long time.Finally, she let out a long sigh and said, "Ms. Xu, I actually thought about it too, but all my friends and acquaintances, including my husband, were against this idea. They said they had never seen a Chinese study in China!" "Who said you are Chinese? You are not Chinese anymore, you are Danish!" I pointed this out sternly. "You are a Danish citizen, which is not terrible. But your Chinese is extremely fluent, which is very powerful. Congratulations on your Chinese language after you have been abroad for so long! China's famous universities are actively recruiting foreign students in order to go international. Peking University Fudan has a similar program, the cost is not expensive (who will come if it is more expensive), and admission is not difficult (who will take the exam if it is difficult). If you want to return to China to live, a Danish passport is meaningless, but if you return to China to study, a Danish passport will help you. Walking you into these universities - this is 'recycling'! "In this way, return to this land that you abandoned but want to return now, and complete your studies here. Because you are good at Chinese, you can get the degree you want in a short time, and get a Foreign countries spend several times the money and time may not be able to get a prestigious university degree and local experience in China! Kill two birds with one stone. And there is no language barrier. You are making a lot of money! The satisfaction at that time may be equivalent to that of a motel guest Full. "If you don't go back to China, but go to the UK and Canada to study, there are at least the following disadvantages: First, Chinese culture will become more and more unfamiliar to you. Since you still want to go back to China to develop, then don't go in the opposite direction. If you continue to live abroad for another four or five years at the age of thirty-two, you will be farther and farther away from the Chinese dream, and in the end you will be completely divorced from the motherland culturally. At that time, you really can’t come back even if you want to. "The second disadvantage is: the professional vocabulary learned abroad is all in English. When you return to China in the future, you don't know how to say the corresponding Chinese and how to use it? What is a hedge fund, what is a derivative instrument, what is a Antinomies, what is Four Play? Four Play is to play mahjong, mahjong is not allowed to play 3P. At that time, you will feel that you have really become a Martian. In Denmark, you live on Mars. In China, you Became a Martian. What a life! "The third disadvantage is: you have never had work experience in economics and management. The average company will not hire an adult without experience. But if you study in China, you can find a good place while studying Go for an internship, so that when you graduate, the problem of working out will be a matter of course. "In this way, you can finish your studies in two years or three years at a slower rate. You can complete your studies, realize your employment, reposition your career, and rediscover your piece of land and your self-confidence in the hot land of China. Join the army that created China's economic miracle and re-establish your position in the world. At that time, your charm will shine in China. Yang Lan, Ni Ping, Wu Shihong, who are your opponents! Congratulations you!" Meng Ruoyun and I shook hands warmly.Meng Ruoyun's Danish frozen face finally revealed the spring breeze of Kunming. She stood up and bid me a warm goodbye.I was expecting that she might hug me and it didn't happen.But she said, "Miss Xu, do you know Copenhagen?" "I know, what's the matter?" "Our hotel is in Copenhagen..." I took the lead and said: "Really, next time you go to Denmark, you must entertain us"... Three hundred and sixty miles away. " She continued: "Does Teacher Xu know about Haagen-Dazs?" "I know, what's the matter?" "Our city is called Haagen-Dazs. It is close to the Arctic Circle. There are many icebergs, but there are no ice cream." I looked at the girl in bewilderment, but she didn't cry!And I, hearing that this town of Haagen-Dazs, which is three hundred and sixty miles away from Copenhagen and does not produce sweet ice cream, have tears in my eyes. I saw that she and her Meng Changjun got up in the middle of the night to collect money.They clicked and clicked, and the warmth of heaven slowly appeared in their eyes, just like the little match girl who lit the weak match.Except for such a little illusory light, there is a boundless cold night around.What is the meaning of such a life?How could such a beautiful, elegant, enthusiastic, lively, intelligent and progressive girl with unlimited potential spend her whole life like this? Meng Ruoyun shook hands with me and said goodbye to me.In the night, like the princess in Andersen's fairy tales, she left like a dream, just as she came like a dream.But I seem to see that behind this princess, there is an insidious witch who wants to deprive her of a happy life and blow out her matches.This witch is actually the collective unconsciousness of going abroad that originated in the 1980s and declined in the 1990s, but still affects Chinese society today. Thoughts for the Princess The life design I provided for Meng Ruoyun may be unique; but Meng Ruoyun's life problems are universal.This common problem is a disease of the times, which can be summarized as follows: 1. The great changes in China have brought about surprising changes in the happiness comparison system and psychological balance mechanism of people going abroad.This change is so rapid and huge that many people are already on the verge of mental breakdown when they realize this change.Meng Ruoyun is just one of the outdated team who is struggling to catch up after all.Meng Ruoyun's economic status is a typical western middle class.But Meng Ruoyun is the typical Chinese educated youth who is unwilling to be lonely and mediocre.The loss she felt was a typical mental anemia after food and clothing.For the overseas Chinese who went abroad in the 1980s, in the face of the rapidly rising China, some form of return is not only a way out for career and money, but also a destination for spirit and soul. 2. People who go abroad often lose not only opportunities in China, but also the experience and education required for employment in China and the cultural traditions required for entrepreneurship in China.If you lack experience and education, you can make up for it by studying hard; if you abandon the characteristic tradition, you will become a cultural marginal, and you will feel unfamiliar everywhere.The design I made for Meng Ruoyun was based on her crisis, including the two tonics of "education and culture".Let her find her career and life home in her own country. 3. Regardless of virtues or bad habits, Chinese people always think about their homeland when they travel all over the world.In particular, Chinese intellectuals like Meng Ruoyun, who have received higher education after the reform and opening up, regard China as the soul destination for them to realize their highest value.The new generation of human beings in China, who take the world as the stage, often have such a world view that has never been clearly expressed when they go to the world: they go to the world with the purpose of taking the world as their own stage, rather than using the stage as their own stage. own world.Going out, accepting and returning to China to spread Western civilization is the historical mission of a generation of intellectuals to Chinese society and the Chinese nation.Their world is still rooted in the land of China.Otherwise, turning the intake of Western civilization into the enjoyment of Western civilization will cause a sense of loss in the meaning of going abroad and a sense of crisis in the value of going abroad.Just like Meng Ruoyun.The meaning of flowering is to bear fruit, and the value of going abroad lies in returning home. Meng Ruoyun met me at the age of 32 when her life was in crisis. I am grateful that she came to me, which gave her a chance to change her life.Otherwise, she will spread her wings and fly far away again, and she will be farther and farther away from the Shenzhou she yearns for, and she may fly into a black hole in the universe!And the matches on her body are definitely not enough. ◎Comment by Yu Minhong Meng Ruoyun's question has both philosophical and technical aspects.Her story inspired me that the most important value in life is the happiness of the soul, not any external things.Meng Ruoyun is beautiful, rich, has settled abroad, has a Rolex watch and a foreign passport, and has a pretty good family, but she is very unfortunate.Why? Because she lost the root of her life. From a technical point of view, if she has studied for a master's degree abroad, she may have entered the mainstream society abroad, became a social celebrity, and divorced her husband; if she has a complete university degree in China, she may be They will be satisfied with the education they have received, and a satisfactory education will inevitably lead to a satisfactory career, a sustainable development career.The reason why Meng Ruoyun's problems are typical is that all her problems are concentrated here at once: she has not completed her higher education, it is impossible to enter the upper class abroad, and she does not even have the qualifications to be a professional when she returns to China; money, then her trouble may not be root-seeking, but survival, but she is very rich; if her husband is not promising, she can blame him for her failure and divorce him, but But her husband is quite good and treats her very well; if she is only about twenty-five years old, she will not be troubled, because life can continue to waste and gamble; or she is simply in her forties, her mentality It will be different again, because it is already difficult to change the course at this time, so I don’t bother, because it’s useless to bother.But she happens to be thirty-two years old, which can't go up or down, which makes it difficult for her to do what she wants.I haven't met Meng Ruoyun, but if I didn't know the friend who recommended her to meet you, I really thought she was a typical character created by literature. Meng Ruoyun's phenomenon reflects a crucial question that has been neglected all the time - what is the ultimate purpose of going abroad?In the wave of going abroad, she came back to find the foundation and soil, and her 30-year-old life.To this end, she has to re-transplant and reposition herself.If her current state of existence was determined by her going abroad at the age of twenty, then she repositioned herself at the age of thirty, and she could not make any mistakes. Otherwise, at the age of forty, she would still be like her now, desperate and desperate. not beautiful. Xiaoping made a comprehensive analysis based on Meng Ruoyun's situation and pointed out that China is the best soil for her to take root. I think this is a typical application of the "China Opportunity Theory", which Xiaoping has always promoted in New Oriental.I completely agree with Xiaoping's analysis and design of Meng Ruoyun's life.I firmly believe that according to this design, she will quickly find her happy destination and the foundation of her life. Happiness, success, and satisfaction are a contrast.If there is contrast, there is lack of knowledge, if there is lack, there is pain, and if there is pain, one seeks up and down.The search again after success, like the second long march, will bring more sacrifices and pains.This is actually the fate of Zhong Tuluo, who was already very successful, happy, and satisfied, at the turn of the century. Case Tips: Mr. Zhong Tuluo, 35 years old, is a director-level reporter of a central media department in Beijing.Mr. Zhong was born in an ordinary peasant family. After graduating from university in the mid-1980s, he was assigned to a small mountain village as a middle school teacher. A few years later, he was admitted to the history department of Shanghai Normal University as a graduate student. In the early 1990s, he came to Beijing after obtaining a master's degree.Mr. Zhong has been rising all the way, has a successful career and a happy family. He is a typical successful person.But instead of feeling fulfilled, he fell into a deep spiritual crisis. At the end of 2000, the question he asked Teacher Xu turned out to be to study abroad.After being poured cold water over his head by Mr. Xu, he got drunk and never looked back. In November 2001, Mr. Zhong, who had been missing for a year, called, and things seemed to have a new turning point... The seemingly blind impulse to study abroad first met Mr. Zhong Tuluo at the end of 2000. A friend introduced him to interview New Oriental.Mr. Zhong is thirty-five years old. He works in a well-known media in the central government.Soon, his article about New Oriental was published in the central media, and the response was very good. After reading his report, I called him to thank him.Unexpectedly, he said that he would invite me to dinner and invited me to a more grand place.When I arrived at the hotel, while I was exchanging greetings and wondering what he might need my help with, he actually told me that he wanted to study abroad. Why does Zhong Tuluo seem to be in his mid-thirties?It is already very good that the central media has achieved this step.And I also know he has a pretty nice family.Such successful people also want to study abroad?I really didn't expect that. I asked absently: How is your English?He said: My English is not as good as this waiter.He pointed to a waitress in the restaurant who was serving foreigners.This is not a foreign-related restaurant, and the waiters do not need to speak English.The girl was really just pronouncing the names on the menu weirdly in pinyin.I laughed and said, you should give up your heart, studying abroad has nothing to do with you!Fight for a vice bureau in China, Dangdang of the main bureau, write more paid news, and live a good life! China is full of opportunities.If you can develop well in the country, you can develop well in the country.Without studying abroad, you can also achieve the success of studying abroad.This is one of the basic ideas of my consulting in New Oriental.For those who have achieved success in China, studying abroad is no longer a means to seek a future, but a way to improve their personal realm and sublimate their quality.For this purpose, individuals have a very broad choice in terms of the time, method, and country of studying abroad. I think Zhong Tuluo is a successful person in domestic development, and he may really need to improve himself through studying abroad.But never achieve the goal of studying abroad through fierce competition such as TOEFL and GRE.Not to mention studying abroad just for the sake of studying abroad, and then giving up everything he currently has.For a person like him who is middle-aged, halfway through his career, middle-class in his family, and has passed the English test, if he does not think clearly about the issue of studying abroad, the whole process may be a destructive experiment for him, and it is very likely that it will go wrong. Everything he already owned would fall apart and disappear.So, in the face of his problem, I really don't know what to do. Thus ended the first conversation in general.I think he has been warmed by my indifference against him studying abroad, so stop having this daydream.I'm glad I managed to direct another life.Unexpectedly, a few days later, Zhong Tuluo asked me out again, wanting to have a "deep chat" with me.This time I had to take his question seriously. When I interact with others, I have the ability to be familiar once, deepen twice, and become confidantes three times.The third time we met, he already regarded me as a close friend who talked about everything.We had a very deep conversation that day.After listening to his story, my heart was surging and I fell into deep thought. long history of life struggle Zhong Tuluo was born in a civilian family in Fujian, and graduated from the history department of an ordinary university in other provinces in the mid-1980s.After graduation, he was assigned to a mountain village in Shanxi as a middle school teacher.How high is the status of secondary school teachers here?No more than 1.60 meters in the eyes of Beijing girls (this seems to be Mr. Zhong Tuluo's height).A man who is 1.60 meters is probably a super-disabled man in the eyes of girls in Beijing.And a middle school teacher in the village where Mr. Zhong Tuluo teaches, in the eyes of the woman, is a disabled person, no matter how smart and tall he is. Yingjun Zhong Tuluo told me that when he was young, his dream was to be a writer and poet, but Poetic novels did not bring him money and beautiful women—they continued to be published.He has worked hard in the countryside for five years. He is already twenty-six or seven years old. Facing the increasing pressure from his parents to carry on the family line, he took aim at a female student.Falling in love with female students is the best way for local teachers to marry.He told me that because it was difficult for teachers to marry, they had to target the teenage girls in their classes.This kind of relationship can be cultivated from the other party's enlightenment age, making them realize the greatness and loveliness of the people's teachers. When the girls graduate at the age of 18, they often have raw rice and cooked rice, and it is too late for the family to object. But Zhong Tuluo was even more unlucky than ordinary unlucky middle school colleagues.When his pot of uncooked rice was about to be cooked, the woman's parents held a hanging rope against their daughter's marriage to him, thus kidnapping the girl and assigning her to a salesperson in the local supply and marketing cooperative. "In the eyes of local farmers, the salesperson has a higher status than the teacher. The salesperson can at least buy cheap kerosene and brown sugar, but what about the teacher? Nothing." This kind of environment is obviously not a place worth nostalgic for a talented young intellectual man.Zhong Tuluo decided to leave here, so he began to take the postgraduate entrance examination.At the age of twenty-six or seven, theoretically still a virgin (to be tested), he was admitted to Shanghai Normal University as a graduate student in the history department.This is a remarkable turning point in Zhong Tuluo's life. Three years later, Zhong Tuluo, who devoted all his passion and desire to this master's degree, successfully graduated and was assigned to Beijing, where he now works for the respected central media.This was the early 1990s, and he was close to thirty, which was the first peak period of stress in a man's life.Assignment to the central media was a remarkable achievement for his impoverished parents and rural teacher.At that time, there were no social forces that competed and challenged the status of the central media, and no social group could match the material interests and social status of the central media staff.What is there to be dissatisfied with, an educated man who is 1.60 meters tall, 30 feet tall, and comes from an abjectly poor peasant family?Do it well! This feeling delayed and diluted the sense of crisis in his life that he was bound to face. sudden life crisis In the first few years of the 1990s, Zhong Tuluo devoted himself to work with great fanaticism.He has won many news and media awards, and has won the respect of many readers and colleagues.Because of his success, the leaders promoted him all the way, and within a few years, at the age of thirty-five or sixteen, he was already a department-level cadre in the unit.Among his colleagues, this is a very remarkable achievement. Unfortunately, during the few years he was working hard, Chinese society underwent an unprecedented transformation.The society's concept of employment, success, sense of being an official and various values ​​deeply related to life have undergone earth-shaking changes.There is actually a social joke in Shenzhen: Don’t cry, baby, if you cry again, you will be the director when you grow up!A day in the middle of the cave is a thousand years in the world.When Zhong Tuluo was desperately climbing up the ladder in the system, he did not expect and did not want to see that the mountain-building movement of social value was happening around him at an unprecedented speed.He thought that what he was climbing was the only Mount Everest in his life, but the Chinese have long seen that there are mountains beyond mountains, sky beyond sky, and there are thousands of roads in life.The value orientation created by the official system is rapidly fissioning. His life crisis began in the mid-to-late 1990s.At this time, he had just been promoted to be a senior officer, and he was still immersed in the hard-won sense of accomplishment. Unexpectedly, a series of events completely shattered his dreams, and he felt unprecedented pain. His pain first came from his wife's pain.His wife was his classmate in graduate school.Not long after the marriage, a son was born for the Zhong family.The son was born, and the wife's postpartum depression followed.The characteristics of my wife’s postpartum depression are: she is always clamoring to go abroad, one day she said that she went to study in the United States, the next day she said that she went to Madagascar to learn horse language, and the day after tomorrow she said that a certain classmate of their class is now making a lot of money in stocks, and the day after tomorrow, Needless to say, not letting him go to bed, and using another acquaintance who made a fortune in real estate to "motivate" him is actually just making him sick and nauseating to kill his sexual desire.His wife's complaints made Zhong Tuluo feel that his wife had a crisis of faith and a crisis of marriage towards him: marrying you was a historic mistake.Marrying you would be worse than marrying a rural middle school teacher! Marital life fell into a low ebb.But the highly intelligent Zhong Tuluo quickly realized some kind of danger.This sense of danger comes from a horizontal comparison of his classmates.读研期间的许多同学，毕业后并没有像他这样执意要进入传统的官方单位，而是去了外企、私企，甚至还有干个体的。几年下来，他们都在各自非传统的岗位上，做出了令人羡慕的成绩。其中有个家伙，毕业后什么“正经”工作都不做，一个硕士，居然摆了一个小书摊，曾经成为大家鄙视嘲弄的对象。但他胸怀大志气，心有宏图，一边练摊，一边编书，最后做儿童图书发了大财。当年被他们夫妻俩在作爱时取乐嘲笑的对象，现在却成了他太太不和他作爱的原因。 90年代初期，中国社会走向一个新的历史时期，也是中国知识分子重新寻找自己的历史定位的一个时期。邓小平面对“苏东波”在为中国的未来思考新的方向；徐小平在孤独的加拿大为自己的前途决定何去何从；俞敏洪放弃北大教师职位开始在中关村开启“新东方”的黎明……一代知识分子开始把自己的才能用于商业和市场的舞台，知识和才能取代关系与后门，赋予这些本来毫无指望的知识分子们巨大金钱和荣誉的时代，已经光荣来临！ 追着这个时代巨轮前进、踏着这个时代节奏的人，很多都获得了成功。这种成功，成为了90年代的一个时代标志。而所谓的“失败者”们也没有时间哭泣，他们洗去了眼中被父母指着鼻子戳出来的眼泪，擦干了脸上被老婆叉着手指抓出来的血迹，在无穷无尽的机会面前，再次扬帆远行，继续追求成功的梦想和金钱的渴望。 假如社会不产生说不清是私营国营还是三资企业的联想少帅杨元庆；假如没有留学归来成为科学富翁和政治红人的陈章良；假如没有离开北大创立新东方的俞敏洪；假如没有以技术和概念获得亿万财富的王志东、张朝阳；假如没有钟图洛那些当年被人瞧不起但现在成为千万富翁百万富翁的同学们；假如没有她太太认识的那些一天消费超过她一年储蓄的新型富人们，钟图洛先生是不会在自己终于实现了多年追求的人生价值和梦想的时刻，突然感到巨大失落的。 然而，中国社会的进步是事实，国民经济发展的果实，在每个男人女人口袋里叮当作响也是事实。中国社会正在大踏步进入中产阶级社会。北京、上海、广东据说已经进入中等发达国家水平。很多人已经获得和拥有了发达国家同等阶层可比的经济地位。金钱和物质的迅速累积，终于由量变到质变，动摇了上层建筑最深刻的稳固因素之一：官本位制度和这个制度庇护下的曾经是一代青年梦寐以求的职位待遇，以及这种待遇所带来的精神和物质成就感。 原来，不做官，不吃皇粮，也还有更好的利益所在，也还有并不低下的工作可做。这么说，自己的这个处长，在北京人眼中，居然还真的不如中学教师在乡下人眼中的供销社营业员呢！想想那些乡下人，更加尊重营业员好像也没有错！人民的眼睛是亮的嘛。 知道自己潜在价值、不断追求成功的钟图洛怎么能不崩溃？ “他妈的我一个大学同学，从单位辞职来北京，做了一个小报记者，后来学了点外语，现在居然在一个外企做公关宣传部长，每月收入两万五千人民币，是我一年的工资。”钟图洛说话的时候，愤怒而无奈，可恨而可爱。我看到的，是他内心深处深深的挫败感。 问题是，“他妈的”小报记者能够做到大型外企的年薪三十万的公关经理，那么，“他妈的”中央大型媒体的处级主任记者，为什么不能拥有一份六十万人民币的工作？ 金钱从来不是惟一的价值标准，每个人心中其实都有一套保持自己心理平衡的其他标准。问题是，钟图洛心里到底有没有这个“其他标准”？假如有，“其他标准”为什么不能保持钟图洛先生心理的平衡和精神的自信？其他标准是什么？ 中国，在寻找新的价值观。从中央到地方，全体人民都在找。人们都意识到旧的思路已经不能满足人们日益增长的精神与物质追求。而要满足这些追求，仅仅靠金钱也还是不够的。新的价值观在哪里？ 邓小平在80年代“摸着石头过河”，摸啊摸啊，摸到南巡讲话的时候，终于摸着了他的价值魔戒——“发展是硬道理”。 钟图洛只不过是这个寻摸大军里执着而迟钝的一员。他的触角伸到了我这里。他要我给他指出一个发展方向。 钟图洛人生真正的麻烦在于，他看到了新的机会，他接受了新的价值，他在实现了自己一生追求的目标之后(处级的主任记者)突然发现还有更好的目标！而这个更好的目标，是游离于官本位制度之外的各种新兴的价值追求，无论是外企，还是私企，无论是那些用股票、期权、年薪和奖金切实承认劳动者价值的新型国企，还是那些出国定居留学然后又纷纷回归的“海龟”“袋鼠”，钟图洛发现，在那里，人们真正的把握了自己的命运，人人在那里追求着真正的价值。原来那些经过半生努力才实现的“处级待遇”，在新的机会面前，真的已经失去了吸引力。 报考研究生，从做出决定到考上然后读完毕业，需要四五年时间。从一个单位的最底层开始奋斗干到钟图洛今天这个水平，至少又需要四五年。钟图洛在这个梦境里，已经活了至少十年。当他开始追求这个梦境的时候，他还是一个“快三十的人”，而今日的他，已经是一个“接近四十岁”的人。岁月飞快流逝，价值观急剧变化。而一成不变的，是钟图洛十几年前为自己确立的人生目标和价值追求。 钟图洛并没有想到这一点，而想到的时候，已经略微晚矣：当90年代中国社会开始转型和巨变的时候，最大的变化，来自于中国人民心中追求的价值观念。他不可能想到，他的追求，其实在自己作出决定并为之奋发的时候，就已经过时了！或者至少，这个追求之外，其实已经有了许多崭新崭新的价值取向。中产阶级和富有阶级在每天每日地诞生，新的行业新的职业在成千上万地涌现。当整个民族在兴奋若狂地苏醒在第三次思想解放的春天的时候，钟图洛却在清醒而自信地冬眠。今年科长，明年处长，后年负增长。 当他从机关里苏醒过来，佩带着处长的绶带走到如火如荼的中国经济社会中的时候，他发现他手中的这个金牌，在市场上的价值甚至都不如一个铜牌。它再也不是令人羡慕向往的惟一标志了。而这时的他，已经是一个直奔四十的中年男人了。 他的失落感，是可以想象的。 不适应则失落的无情现实 没有不能改善的人生，没有不能走出的困境。这是我在新东方天天告诉我的学生们的一句话。 钟图洛的人生应该怎么改进，钟图洛的困境应该如何走出？ 因为钟图洛已经和我成为非常好的朋友了。作为朋友，我给他出主意的时候，就非常赤裸裸。“我的爱，赤裸裸。” So I said: “我个人并不鼓励你出国。你的英语不好出不了国，出国也是受折磨。人人都说留学好，就是英语学不了。我觉得出国留学对你不适合。如果你一定要出去，托福考不到600以上，别来烦我。 “虽然作为体制中的人，你感到并不满足。但是从另外一个角度，你是中央媒体的主任记者，社会地位其实是非常高的。如果出国，你能做什么？从扫地做起？别操蛋了。我在美国是扫过地的，并不浪漫。把一生积累的尊严放在扫帚和垃圾桶里，已经不是21世纪中国人的命运。没有必要了。 “你的出路，我看最好是立足于本土，充分发挥和兑现你丰富的经验和广泛的关系。你的这个经验和才能，只要放在合适的平台上，拥有百万美金的价值。 “其实作为一个资深记者，要改变职业其实相当容易。市场经济最需要的就是'市朝——Marketing。Marketing，就是把经济信息传送给每一个潜在的市场客户。而你的这个媒体经验，正好就是市场最最需要、有着巨大的实用价值的金库。 “中国制造业世界一流，成了世界工厂。但是中国人读的畅销书、买的高档杂志、看的DVD、听的CD是从哪里来的？大部分是港台和国外创造的。中国的文化产品非常落后。从事文化制作传播，也是你成为千万富翁的绝对优势之一。” "congratulations!" 我见他兴奋起来，就趁火打劫地问他：“你能去找你那个'他妈的'在外企做公关经理的同学，求他在他手下做一个媒体或市场助理吗？” "cannot." “你愿到那些公关公司、广告公司、市场调查公司、影视制作公司、出版公司、网络媒体公司以及任何一切有发展前景的公司，卸下处长之尊，去向他们申请一份工作，'不管报酬多低我都干吗'？” "cannot." “你敢辞去单位的工作、放弃处长职位吗？” "Don't dare." “你知道如何开一家自己的公司，你会自己创业吗？” “不知道，不会。” 机会面前，钟图洛其实未必能够把握。多年来养成的官僚习性，是他背负的沉重的十字架。背着这个十字架，他很难在新的人生舞台上长袖善舞，而必然在走向新生的道路上步履蹒跚。他不会舍得放弃也不应该随意放弃他那来之不易的位置。但是不放弃，他就很难进入人才市场，勇敢地去兜售自己的肌肉、展览自己的皮肤、显示自己的力量、叫卖自己的价值。市场上，人才就像建材，需要购买者挑癣试用、遗弃、保留。钟图洛能否经受得住这种无情的甚至是羞耻的被选择程序？——这个程序，其实就是市场经济时代重新赋予知识分子和各级人才真正个人价值和尊严的途径，也是已经被历史证明惟一畅通的人生大路——然而，这却是钟图洛他们所面临的最艰巨的挑战。 在计划经济中度过半生、获得一切的钟图洛，如何能够适应市场经济体系下新的思维、新的语境和新的工作方式？瞬息万变的市场，需要人们根据变化迅速调整自己的工作方式，迅速让自己适应市场而不是让市场适应自己。鱼在岸上必死无疑，鸡在水里肯定也无法存活。钟图洛是否能够羽化登仙、脱胎换骨，在中国大地上做一个左右逢源的两栖动物？ 肯定不能。因为，新的价值体系给你带来的虽然是新的价值。但是，要获得这个巨大的价值，人人都必须经历巨大的挑战和改变。并非所有人都能适应市场经济时代的竞争和取胜压力的。 钟图洛的痛苦，与其说是不满足于现状的痛苦，不如说是潜意识里发现自己无法适应现实的痛苦。作为一个处长和主任记者本身不是痛苦。痛苦的是这个处长和主任记者实际上并不具备挑战外部世界的能力。一旦改革的春风吹进这个中央媒体的深宅大院，钟图洛就会发现，自己在三十多岁最年富力强的人生阶段，如果不迅速更新和充实自己的话，非常有可能——其实已经正在成为时代淘汰的对象！换言之，他真正的危机感是，意识到即使不离开体制，如果照这样子下去，在体制内的好日子其实也不多了！我想，这个痛苦，才是钟图洛他们真正的痛苦与真正的危机！ 我说：“中国的机会非常多，非常多。但你必须重新改造自己。这个改造表面是要学习和掌握西方市场意识、管理意识和提高英语能力，内里是要改变思维方式，做一个现代人。” “沉舟侧畔千帆过，病树前头万木春。在一代新人崛起的时候，许多人是注定要被淘汰的。只不过你我既然相识，我就不能让你淘汰，我就不能让你沉没。我本人，是从四十岁改行，从一个失败的音乐人，变成一个成功的教育家。你比我年轻，我想你一定能够和我们一起，把握机会，中途崛起，人生从四十开始嘛……”我还想继续给他几句激动人心的话，蓦然回首，钟图洛已经喝得酩酊大醉。 最宏大的留学诗篇 从那以后，钟图洛就没有和我再联系过。我想我可能动摇了他的一些基本信念，也就触及了他的尊严。可能他不愿意理我了吧。不理就不理。你中央大报又怎么样？难道没有你新东方就不能见报吗！mother's.我很委屈。 一年之后，2001年12月，钟图洛给我打来一个电话，又是要约我见面。 原来清华大学管理学院和哈佛大学肯尼迪政府学院联合推出一个项目，为中国政府官员联合培养MPA，在清华读一年，然后到哈佛读一段时间，获得哈佛的MPA学位。钟图洛非常想得到这个机会，来找我寻求如何申请和竞争的主意。 我心里非常高兴。中国政府正在通过各种方式，改造和提升它的官员队伍。我知道，各个省市政府，都有把自己的中层干部送出国学习的计划。我见过许多三十左右的处级领导，他们拥有政府工作丰富的经验，想大大施展一番自己的才能，经过脱产一年左右的出国、或者不出国的专业学习之后，成为一个能够领导一个群体、一个部门，创造一番事业的开拓型和未来型人才。留学，或不留学，只要保持不断学习，个人素质就能得到提升，思想观念就会发生更新。人才，就不会被时代淘汰！ 国家和政府开始让它的干部队伍有系统有计划地出国留学，有计划地让它的人才队伍更新知识和观念，这是最宏大的留学诗篇。 钟图洛到底能否抓住这个机会，一举进入清华和哈佛，我已经不是特别担心。一方面我相信他能；一方面我看到，只要钟图洛这样的中年精英、中层干部、中产阶级，有了知不足而后学的动力，有了对于现代价值奋起直追的激情，有了更换自身意识和观念的强烈渴望，有了代表未来的人生目标，不仅钟图洛他们的人生必将有幸福的升华，事实上，对于整个中国社会，也就是对于整个中华民族，都是好消息！ ◎俞敏洪点评 人们成功与失败的关键，在于他是否能够适应环境的变化。过去十年，中国社会的变化太大了，人们的生存状态随之发生变化，并产生了差别。钟图洛代表了一大批这样的人：他们的年龄在三十岁到四十岁之间，他们感受到周围的变化和自己与别人的差距，产生了巨大的失落感，在变与不变之间的选择举步维艰。 三十岁以前的人背负的历史不多，痛苦也不多，改变自己比较容易。而一个经历了很多痛苦的人再遇到痛苦就显得很沉重，从很多失败中获得成功的人对于已经拥有的成功非常珍惜。这就构成了人才发展的一个两难局面：一方面以往的成功来之不易，需要加以珍惜，另一方面要想继续发展，就要抛弃以往，包括以往的成功。这样的人，尤其是小有成就的人在面临选择时往往会患得患失，因而失去了先机，而他们拣到的往往都是些过了时的残余，等到他发现周围的人都已经抓住了机会，而自己却错过了，就会感到失落。 我认为钟图洛有两种选择，一种就是坚持原来的生活，坚持已经得到的东西，过一般老百姓眼中还不错的生活，像他这种人一般都能做到这一点，再说这种生活也是一种不错的生活，也算是“中产阶级生活”吧。但这在某种意义上是摧毁自己对另一种生活的向往。 另外一种选择就是去实现他看到的成功人士的生活，但这是一种可怕的挑战，他必须要有斩草除根的精神，彻底抛弃他原来的生活。凭我个人的经验，在抛弃过去面对未来的时刻，无论是二十岁还是五十岁，只要有勇气和自信，生活必然是光明的。姜太公九十岁扔掉鱼竿当了宰相，摩西奶奶八十岁成了大画家。 先放弃才能够得到，想先得到再放弃是不可能的。人类的痛苦就在于得到的时候就必须失去，这时价值判断体系就起到了作用，如果你的价值判断体系落后，那你的选择就会出现问题，“中途落”的失落不仅是在人生中途，更是在价值的中途。人生的调整就是世界观、价值理念的调整，如果价值取向不调整，人的生活永远也调整不了。 并不是说一个人非要跳出体制才能干出大事，很多人是在体制内做出大事情的。适应体制和改变体制的能力，也是人才的伟大能力。假如钟图洛有这种能力，其实他就不会中途失落。任何一个环境都像是一片水域，关键是你能不能成为水中的鱼，如果这个水域不适合你，那你就应该换到到另一个水域中去，要不然你就得适应这个水域。比如在美国热泉地区的水温是80度，但是那里的鱼还能活下去，就是因为这个水温是在很多年慢慢变热的，鱼适应了这个水温。 在目前的中国有两个水域，体制的水域和市场的水域，这两个水域的生存条件和要求具备的能力几乎完全不同。钟图洛的失落，可能就是在这两片水域中间彷徨的痛苦吧。何去何从，还得他自己选！至于他的痛苦，我觉得恰恰是他的幸福。可能在这个过程中，一种适应这两个水域的超级物种就诞生了！