Chapter 34 Part Five: To choose or not to choose, there is no choice in life

Dear Teacher Xu: After reading your "Tuqiong Dialogue", I was really angry, why didn't I know you and New Oriental earlier. I am 34 years old this year.I am most interested in economic management or business management. From the accumulation of so many years of work, I think it is very suitable to be a senior manager. But I majored in basic chemistry in the Department of Chemistry at university. After graduation, I was assigned to work in the Institute of Chemistry to do research on basic chemistry. Because I am not interested in my major, so in such a unit that only asks for a diploma, I have not continued to take the postgraduate entrance examination.After working for four years, I had the good fortune to be hired by a large Fortune 500 company for two years.After giving birth to a child, he returned to the original unit.

Because I was not interested in majors, I didn't go back to the front line of scientific research directly after returning to the unit. Instead, I stayed in the administrative department for another two years, and now I came to the front line of scientific research again. It has been eleven years since I graduated from university, and I still haven't got a master's degree.Now I want to go directly to the doctoral exam, but the unit has formulated one or another policy not to allow the exam.But in such a unit, without a diploma, and wandering around for so many years, the situation is difficult, you can imagine.

But just like the "graduate student who deviates from Marxism-Leninism" in your book, I don't like to engage in scientific research, but I have been doing it all the time; I dream of becoming a senior manager, but I have never started my steps.My life is also divided.If I go to take a doctorate again, doesn't it mean that my life will split further?I am even more confused. After reading your book, I feel very regretful: Why didn't I know about New Oriental in 1995 and 1996, why didn't I inquire about matters related to going abroad earlier?At that time, I was still in this big company, and it was the most suitable time to prepare for the MBA exam immediately after I came out.But now, another six or seven years have passed, and I am in my thirties. Now, if I come to the United States to study for an MBA, I have work experience. However, time and age have become my biggest obstacles (in your book My Sha Mei, she is also at such an age, and she also took the road of studying for an MBA abroad, she gave me a glimmer of hope).

I am confused, I don't know what should I do now? !Is it to drop all practical problems and devote yourself to the MBA exam (or take the exam after immigration)?Or continue with the current major. After all, I have been in this major for more than ten years, and I have accumulated a certain amount. After I get my doctorate, I will learn from Chen Zhangliang and Ji Xinyin?I hope to get your advice. The crescent moon on the cover of your book is just a cold moon to me!With a glimmer of hope, I hope to have your guidance. Thanks! Leng Yue Dear Cold Moon: Your letter is full of sadness and confusion. After reading it, I can't wait to see a psychiatrist—you can't hurt me like this!

You said at the beginning: "I'm so angry, why didn't I get to know you and New Oriental earlier." In fact, you can't regret the past, but you can chase after the coming.Your life problems are basically related to your values ​​and mentality. If these values ​​and mentality do not change, your future will still be worrisome just like your past. Therefore, I would like to put forward a piece of advice here first: you are thirty-four years old this year, and there are obviously countless opportunities in life.If you divide your life into four seasons, you are actually still in the blooming spring. Although it can be said to be late spring, the midsummer of life is waiting to come suddenly in the storm of passion!If you can cherish and make good use of the next three to five years, choose the direction of life struggle, adjust the value you pursue, gather all the power of life, and devote yourself to "a final struggle", you can still welcome the rain. Sunny, sunny tomorrow!

Otherwise, if you don’t change course now and don’t make rapid progress, your living conditions and self-perception at the age of forty-four, fifty-four, and N-fourteen will be even worse than they are now… The poem said: When all the rivers go east to the sea, when will they return to the west?If you don't work hard in three or four, you will be sad for N and four. The older a person is, the stronger the pressure of life, and the more urgent and heavier the reasons for struggling.Therefore, in the face of past failures and future fears, struggle -- a new struggle based on summarizing the experience and lessons of failure is our only choice!

Now let me talk about your problem and reason about your failure rules once.Reviewing the past to learn the new, summing up the past is just to prevent the future! As a college graduate engaged in basic science, it doesn't matter that you don't like academic research.In this world, success can be achieved with or without academics.The question is, since you don't like academics, why did you choose to work in a research institute?This is your first life mistake. However, fate is not bad for you.Your mistake was actually cleared up when you later joined a foreign company.In other words, you have another chance to take off in a new life.

The foreign company you joined is a classic foreign company.It is in these classic foreign companies that China's first generation of white-collar workers, gold-collar workers and leaders - the leaders of China's modern corporate world - were born.If you dream of doing business management, this is the perfect breeding ground and take-off runway.However, what I can't understand and sigh is that after you worked there for two years, you returned to the "original unit" because of having a child. Why do you want to leave the foreign company?Why do you have to return to your original unit after leaving a foreign company?Without a doubt, this is the beginning of an all-out setback in your life.This decision of yours is equivalent to a person who has nothing to do, but just wanted to come from a non-infected area to an infected area when SARS was prevalent.If you have a purpose, you are here to fight against SARS, or to condolences to the fighters against SARS, or even to experience SARS tourism, I can also appreciate it!The problem is: you return to this original unit that you don't like, has no passion, and is not good for you without purpose and self-consciousness.

Foreign companies are representatives of advanced productive forces.State-owned enterprises, in general, may be just the opposite.When you return to a state-owned enterprise from a foreign company, you are actually returning to a state-owned institution that is farther away from the market. Your choice has failed.Your confusion is the inevitable result of this choice. It is impossible for a foreign company to fire you because you are pregnant and have a baby.If the foreign company dismisses you because you are pregnant, Xu Xiaoping can sue it with you, and let it pay a lot of money without commission!There are only two possibilities for leaving a foreign company: the first is that you resign yourself, and the second is that you can’t bear the work pressure there and leave automatically because the job is unqualified.

It is also impossible for your "original unit" to force you to go back because you are an excellent management and scientific research talent.Even if they "forcibly" you can ignore it!When you go back, maybe it is for housing, maybe for relationship, household registration, stable job, or even for the appreciation and warmth of the leader... However, all reasons are no match for one reason: to hone your skills in the talent market Wings, showing your heroic posture, and pursuing your own blue sky, foreign companies are your best sky, while the original unit must be a cage for you to break your wings.

I am not simply saying that your original unit is not good.There are no absolutely good companies and no absolutely bad units in the world.It all depends on what exactly you "want" to pursue!There are all kinds of good opportunities in "Original Units" if you're willing to play by the rules of the game and organizational culture there.Don’t you see countless outstanding entrepreneurs who have transformed an old state-owned enterprise into a vibrant state-owned enterprise, making it worth a hundred times; you have also seen countless outstanding officials who have reorganized a bureaucracy so that it is efficient, efficient, and harmonious.If you return to the "original unit" with purpose and ambition, then your current situation must be between heaven and earth, before liberation and after liberation. Unfortunately, you "did not go back to the front line of scientific research directly after returning to the unit because you were not interested in your major. Instead, you stayed in the administrative department for another two years, and only now came to the front line of scientific research." Seeing this makes me nervous again.Since I was not interested in scientific research two years ago, and four years before my undergraduate graduation, why did I return to the front line of scientific research two years later, or four years after graduation? ! I think you are a person who has no idealism, spiritual pursuit, material desire or even lack of independent personality.You are basically a drifter when it comes to your mental and physical needs. There is a kind of person who may not make a fortune in politics, business, academic publications, and management. He may be miserable, but he may have a kind of spirit, a kind of career that he chooses, and he will not reach the heart of the Yellow River. The spiritual power of immortality.When you meet this kind of person, you can feel a kind of inspiration from him, which in turn stimulates your own life development. The chivalrous novels loved by Chinese people, I guess, reflect such a spirit.Most chivalrous men do not have money (those who have money don’t roam the rivers and lakes), but the chivalrous demeanor attracts boys and girls. I believe the core reason is that they have a kind of spiritual belief and a kind of personality strength. The world does not judge heroes by success or failure.Every hero, except for a few lucky children of rich families and descendants of corrupt officials, basically everyone has experienced times of poverty and humbleness.The heroes in the Water Margin are actually downcast and humble people. If they are not downcast, why should they be downcast?But they are generally recognized and loved by the world.Because the simple truths such as brotherhood, equality, justice, and friendship that they persistently pursue contain great spiritual power and charisma.The world decides and assigns value to a person based on his spiritual wealth-even though this pursuit and ideal seems out of date and will never be realized. Blessed is the man whose heart seeks - for his heart is full. Blessed are those who strive tirelessly and fail - for their personalities are fiery. But from you, I see a kind of emptiness and paleness drifting with the flow, a kind of weakness of a life without ideals and goals. Your letter left me with the biggest sigh: In fact, there is always a vague pursuit in your heart, and there is always a faint voice calling from afar.But your body is always stuck in the place you don't want to stay; your footsteps can't always move to the place you want to go most.You spread your dreams in the spiritual desert; you root your future on the iceberg of value.You can only harvest barrenness, you can only embrace the cold.You live in a vacuum of life values. How can such a life be successful!How can such a mind not embrace Leng Yue? what to do? Your way out is actually a matter of establishing your goals.You have to set your life goals for the next three, five years, and then fight for them desperately.You have no more time to waste. If you decide to engage in scientific research, you should make a breakthrough in the direction of master and doctor, and pursue the title and status of professor and researcher; if you decide to engage in management, you can consider studying MBA, from assistant to manager, from manager to general manager.Your path is nothing more than these two... Of course, if you want, you can also be happy with your fate, be a good wife and mother, try to help your husband do his job well, and work hard to train your children to be more successful than their father.It is also one of the beautiful life choices. But no matter what you do, whether you are at home or going out, whether you are at home or abroad, whether you are engaged in management or scientific research... The most urgent problem you need to solve is to first establish your own life goals and do a good job of achieving this goal. Spiritual preparation for a lifetime of struggle. Life is short, most afraid of aimlessness. Struggle is rare, how can you not know what you want? If the Red Army left Jinggangshan back then, but always slipped back every now and then, the history of the Chinese revolution would have been a tragedy long ago. congratulations! Xu Xiaoping