Author: Yu Minhong ( 2003-11-18 ) In China more than 20 years ago, we felt an abyss of pain and despair.Life is so ordinary, as ordinary as a pool of green and smelly stagnant water, even life can no longer make a cry of pain.We have no right to choose or give up, we are not qualified to follow the call of the soul, let alone expect to go our own way.Despair has reached the deepest part of the soul, numb and ashamed.In all societies centered on organizations and collectives, and in societies where individuality and human dignity have been eliminated, choices seem extravagant and strange.Today, more than 20 years later, we begin to have jobs, wealth and status, and more importantly, we begin to have the dignity of being human and the freedom of choice.If at any stage of history and at any moment of life, people will face confusion, pain and despair, then the connotations of pain and despair in different eras are completely different.The Chinese youth more than 20 years ago were a desperate generation that could not find hope; the Chinese youth more than 20 years later are a generation that can find hope in despair.Therefore, in this sense, young people today are lucky, even happy.

It seems that today's young people should be happy every day, singing and dancing. Since there is a way to go, don't hesitate any longer, just choose a road and go on unswervingly.But in fact, many seemingly bright avenues are actually suffocating dead ends and swamps.Some people entered a dead end and could not turn out again, and some people fell into a swamp and became victims.Too many choices, too many temptations, what to do?What freedom brought to many people was deeper pain and despair.The difference between the despair of the two generations is that in the former, everyone is in the same situation, and everyone can find some kind of psychological comfort and balance from the collective despair; It is difficult to find people who share the same disease and feel sympathy for each other. In reality and psychologically, they lack the comfort of "the same people have fallen in the end of the world, so why meet each other once".From the perspective of psychological harm, the despair of the latter is more profound and real, more painful and cruel than that of the former.What's more deadly is that in the age when different choices lead to different destinies, I was surrounded by friends, classmates and colleagues who were more successful, outstanding and richer than myself.These dangling successful people have shaken people's hearts to pieces, shaking people's spirits to the point of collapse.In order to prove that he is not a loser in life, a person who is wandering at the crossroads hastily set out on the road without seeing the direction clearly.The result is that I go wrong again and again, and I am more and more desperate every time.

Man is not a prophet.Everyone has times when they are confused and desperate, and everyone has times when they are at a crossroads and unable to make a choice.If you are groping in the dark, many people will go in circles, never get out of the vicious circle of life, wasting time and life.Just like the Big Dipper in the night sky that points the way, this world also needs a guide who dispels the fog in the heart.The reason why they can become guides is that after they have experienced the confusion and pain of life, read the life history of countless people, and have a deep feeling and understanding of human pain and despair, they can still have a compassionate heart. With my heart, I will use even a little bit of my own power to contribute to the relief of human suffering and despair.These guides are not necessarily Sakyamuni or Jesus (they were all human beings and later worshiped as gods), they may be by your side.It may be your neighbors, friends and teachers, or it may be strangers you have never met.A word or an article from them will suddenly enlighten your mind, free you from troubles, find your own value and position in life, and devote yourself to a truly happy and successful life.

There is no doubt that Xu Xiaoping, the author of the book "Riding a Donkey and Looking for a Horse" you are reading now, is such an ordinary and ordinary leader. The first person to do a case analysis on the troubles of youth growing up Anyone who has met Xu Xiaoping will be infected by his passionate speech and slightly hoarse hearty laughter. From the lines of any book he wrote, one can read his passion and wisdom.Young people in China, especially college students, almost no one does not know Xu Xiaoping.Not for boasting, though in the books he often jokingly refers to himself as "the old man" or "the master".In fact he is very approachable, a kind and humble person; not because others flatter him, although many radio, TV and newspapers have told his story and his insights on life design.Xu Xiaoping became famous because he has a personal experience of the real problems faced by countless young people, and he has real worries and anxieties about the future of Chinese youth.He used his whole life and wisdom to explore a feasible and bright life path for Chinese youth.

It can be said that Xu Xiaoping is the first person to conduct a thorough case analysis and philosophical summary of the choices, pain and despair faced in studying, studying abroad, and employment.Since the 1980s, many people have claimed to be experts in life counseling and speakers who can bring hope and future to young people.In fact, apart from gaining a little worldly fame for themselves with false loftiness, they have never really changed the fate of the young people.Some of them are lost lambs themselves, but they appear as leaders, and the result is that the youth are even more confused.More people are writing so-called monographs on life guidance in order to meet the needs of young people.So, overnight, such books abound, no matter on the bookshelves of Xinhua Bookstore or in the kiosks of airports and railway stations.Some books have indeed brought comfort to the wounded soul and hope to the painful fate, but a large number of them are direct translations of foreign things, far away from the real life of Chinese youth; even if they are written by the Chinese themselves Most of the content of the book is copied from east to west, which is neither systematic nor practical; more is worthless except for digging other people's privacy to earn royalties.The desks of young people are full of books on various life consultations, but the road of life is getting narrower and narrower.

Thus, Xu Xiaoping appeared.His speeches and books have changed the way of thinking and behavior of countless young people, changed the direction and course of life of countless young people, and at the same time changed such pale, hypocritical ways of thinking and working and empty and useless moral preaching . A person who combines maturity and simplicity, sophistication and innocence When Xu Xiaoping returned from Canada in 1996, it was "two suitcases and one dream, leaving home with great ambition"-this is the lyrics he wrote for studying abroad.This moment, that moment.At that time, leaving home means leaving the motherland to venture into the world, and now leaving home means leaving the wife and children who have settled in Canada to return to China to start a business.What are you doing back home?Two suitcases are a fact, but a dream is hazy. Maybe there is ambition, but how to implement it is at a loss.

When I went abroad for the first time at the end of 1995, the first stop was to walk into his home.After a few glasses of wine, I found that he has been washing dishes and working abroad, raising a wife and having children, and studying for a degree for nearly ten years. He praised all of them, and was moved by my hardships in founding New Oriental alone.Since college, I have been infected by his enthusiasm for life and sharpness of thought, and I regard him as one of the best teachers I have ever met in college, so that I still cannot forget him.So, after the excitement, I invited him to return to China to start a business, hoping to make the small New Oriental bigger and better.

Xiaoping came back just like that, without hesitation or regret.At that time, New Oriental was still very dilapidated and small, working in two old bungalows that violated the regulations.In a crowded office, barely squeezed into a small desk is Xiaoping's office.As for work, I will do chores first, nothing more than helping me with some public relations affairs and student issues.We didn't talk about the remuneration, didn't talk about the working hours. With years of friendship and mutual trust, we started the best cooperation in our life. The first thing that Xiaoping dealt with in New Oriental was very difficult.A student had a conflict with the school guards of Peking University. The school guards of Peking University insisted on apologizing from this student, otherwise thousands of New Oriental students would not be allowed to enter the classrooms of Peking University.Things froze there like this. Almost everyone in New Oriental came forward, but they couldn't solve the problem.Finally Xu Xiaoping came forward. He invited the student to drink coffee and talked with him until twelve o'clock in the night. He finally persuaded the student, and finally went to apologize to the Peking University guard.

At that time, New Oriental was almost all students eager to go abroad.Many students are obsessed with going abroad to the point of being unreasonable.We found that the students are facing the following serious problems: First, the students have almost zero knowledge of foreign universities, so they have no way to start when choosing a school; second, the students go abroad blindly, as long as they can go, they can go to the United States or South Africa, but they just don’t want to Staying in China, this is the collective unconsciousness of going abroad that Xiaoping later summed up; followed by the student's visa issue after receiving the foreign university notice and scholarship. Many students are often refused for no reason because they don't know how to face the visa officer; finally, The psychological problems of the students, many students fail to go abroad, so they get into a dead end and have serious psychological obstacles. They don't know what to do in China, and they lose their direction, goals and motivation in life.As a foreign language training school, New Oriental seems to have fulfilled its mission as long as it improves its English teaching level. It is not New Oriental's duty to solve these problems.I have also done some sporadic consultations for students, but I didn't consciously want to make it into a system and make it into a case analysis with general guiding significance, especially to summarize these issues from a philosophical perspective.Xiaoping, with a sense of mission for the future of young people and a sense of urgency for the future of the motherland, quickly established a free consultation office for students without any return.Over the past few years, he has consulted thousands of students face to face, and has given countless consultation lectures.When it comes to hoarseness, sweating, and tears in the eyes of the students.

When he was working at Peking University in the early 1980s, young students he knew or didn’t know were always gathered in his small home, listening to him talk about music, life, future, and philosophy in passionate language.He is a music student, and his words are full of heart-pounding melodies.At that time, I was one of the loyal listeners sitting in his home.Ten years later, Xu Xiaoping, who is nearly forty years old, has experienced countless trials and vicissitudes, but as soon as he came into contact with the students, his young heart began to beat.Anyone who has had close contact with him can immediately find that in addition to a mind full of life wisdom, he has a pure heart that appreciates and tolerates young people.However, just having a young heart is absolutely impossible to become a person who has a huge influence on young people today.So far Xiaoping is the first person I know who can combine the contradictory advantages of maturity and simplicity, sophistication and innocence.

person who is good at proposing and writing To fulfill one's own mission, a person must have a high degree of thinking and forward-looking at the same time.Shortly after returning to China in 1996, Deng Xiaoping put forward the "China Opportunity Theory", arguing that China, as the fastest growing country in the world, has provided endless opportunities for the younger generation despite all kinds of problems However, it is just because of the Chinese education system that students plunge into the books and never see how brilliant the outside world is.Xiaoping believed that anyone who wants to change his destiny must first change his outlook on life and values.Therefore, when conducting case analysis on students, he has been looking for solutions to problems from a realistic and rational perspective.When Xiaoping's first book "American Visa Philosophy" was published in 1999, the two of us had a discussion about the title of the book.I think it is better to use "skills", but he insists on using "philosophy". All the problems will be solved easily.Therefore, Xiaoping put forward four principles in the book: the principle of self-confidence, the principle of truth, the principle of reasonableness and the principle of concreteness, which still play an important role in guiding the visa application of countless people today, and it can be said that they are never outdated principles. With the in-depth consultation with the students in New Oriental, Xiaoping grasped the pulse of the students more and more accurately.He found that relying on face-to-face counseling and lectures will never solve the problems of most students, because the problems of New Oriental students are so universal that they are the epitome of the problems faced by almost all young people in China.Many young people are like lions locked in a cage since they were young. They never need to find food by themselves. Once they are released into the wild, they no longer have the ability to chase and prey on antelope.Faced with various employment problems, education problems, study abroad problems, love problems, marriage problems, generation gap problems, and the endless opportunities behind these problems, they are at a loss, caught off guard, and suffered psychologically and spiritually. Emphasis on heavy blows and torture.Xiaoping keenly captures these issues, from "American Visa Philosophy" to "U.S. Study Abroad Questions", from "Tuqiong Dialogue" to "How Gold is Made", until today's "Riding a Donkey to Find a Horse", the case One by one is more realistic, and the guidance to students is becoming more and more practical, while the highly conclusive terms are memorable and enlightening.From "collective unconsciousness of studying abroad" to "collective unconsciousness of postgraduate entrance examination", from "employment neurosis" to "thought virus", from "China's opportunity theory" to "career design", every proposition contains a sad story Every new concept is like a beacon in the fog, making them quickly return to the correct path of life. How many people Xiaoping's ideas have influenced, can be seen from the hundreds of thousands of sales of each book and the thousands of thank you letters received from the gas tank. Xiaoping today is still doing free consultations for confused students every day, spreading the unchanging truth with his hoarse voice.At the same time, as an important member of the board of directors of New Oriental, he devotes himself to the development strategy of the school every day, and constantly proposes solutions and preventive measures for various problems.Years are getting old, but Xiaoping's heart is still young.This heart will always beat with the young people in China and with the pulse of China's development. 6 August 6, 2003