Chapter 17 -4

So in fact we have two examples of impotence, one is psychic impotence, the other is neurasthenic impotence, the latter is an old term, the author Think we can still use it now.In the first example, there is no problem with the mechanism of liberating desires, and it is always intact, but due to the inhibition of emotions, it cannot be relaxed, and the knot cannot be untied.Therefore, the method of treatment only needs to eliminate this restraining force as much as possible, and resolve all kinds of doubts of the parties.In the case of neurasthenia, the libido mechanism is not inhibited, but tends to be more or less weakened, so that the treatment is usually not impossible, but the hope of recovery is relatively small.However, after treatment, although the damaged mechanism may not be restored to its original state, at least the impact caused by the damage can be alleviated.Regardless of the type of atrophy, the main point of treatment is to ease the client's fear, divert his mind from sexual issues, and make him pay attention to daily hygiene.We are not here to consider medicines of all kinds, whose value, in spite of all that is sold and advertised for its power, is of secondary importance.For some cases, some drugs may be useful, but in addition to adding a little excitement and comfort in the psychological aspect, how much will affect the actual effect of physical fitness is always a question.Nux vomica (or Nux vomica) kind of medicine.It has an excitatory effect on the sexual system and the entire spinal brain.It has its value as a tonic or tonic, but if the person taking it is already in an allergic and susceptible state, using it is worse than not using it.Sexual intercourse is also not a part of the treatment and should not be encouraged. As for exercising sexual ability with the method of seeking flowers and willows, it should be discouraged.However, for married people, procrastination and expecting too long are inappropriate, and this is true for ordinary people, especially for such cases. At the same time, all mental activities and emotional anxiety are also taboo. .In such a place, a wise and resourceful wife is the doctor's best assistant.Rousseau's experience provides us with a good example in this respect.Rousseau was a nervous and highly excitable man.His general mood was on fire, and his sexual drive reflected this heightened nervous susceptibility.If the object is a whore, or a woman he can feel passionate about, he cannot perform the act of intercourse.But since he has been with Therese for a long time, and has maintained a quiet companionship, he does not seem to shrink back, and if what he is confident and self-reported in it is true, he has produced many children.In cases of this class of susceptibility and excitability, everything that moderates or lessens the susceptibility is useful.Usually, when a man has a chance to have sexual intercourse after a long period of time, the first ejaculation and ejaculation effects may inevitably be mentioned too early, but even if the result of the second handover returns to normal, as for the first and second and second sexual intercourse. The distance between the two times can be as little as half an hour, or as long as several days, depending on the temperament of each person.Prolonged exposure leads to susceptibility, and susceptibility leads to premature ejaculation. This is true for ordinary people, and it is even more so for atrophied people. There is one reason.

We may wish to add some advice here. It is best not to try to have sex at night when you are on the pillow, but after you have slept and rested for a while, or when you seem to wake up in the morning.According to the opinions of some experts, the early morning is actually the most suitable handover time for most cases of atrophy.For those cases of atrophy, if you can pay attention to these details, at the same time, you can cultivate some spiritual tranquility and notice the reasonable adjustment of body and mind in general, quite satisfactory results can be obtained. The preceding discussion suggests that weakness or lack of performance is largely a matter of personal and social adaptation.As far as most examples are concerned, if a young man maintains a natural and healthy relationship with a person of the opposite sex since he was a child, when he gets married, if the other person is of the same character, there will be no problems or problems in achieving a harmonious marriage. It is very difficult. After meeting a lovely opposite sex, the aforementioned nervous terror, the kind of state of dread in advance or the state of shrunkenness that is superficially impatient but actually shrinks away It will not happen. The author just said that most of the sexual atrophy is an expression of incomplete adaptation to social life. I think this is not just empty talk, but has a good reason.Of course we can't forget those innate factors, for example, homosexual tendencies and the like.Nor do we disregard physical or structural weaknesses or imperfections.If necessary, these must be consulted with the surgeon.But a knowledgeable surgeon himself admits that after he has done his part, the psychologist and psychotherapist have much more to do.

We also have reasons to believe that although the sexual impulse varies from person to person, it will never be so weak that it cannot be expressed at all. Even the weakest people can always show some expression when they have good opportunities.Kraft-Epping admits that although examples of complete lack of performance are rare, there are, but he himself did not provide examples that he personally observed. What he presented are only two incomplete examples. One is Dusol (du Saulle) The one studied was that of Hammond, the former was always capable of nocturnal emission, and the latter even occasionally had the ability to have a temporary erection.

The sexual feeling in this kind of examples is undoubtedly extremely weak, but since there are nocturnal emission or erection, it cannot be regarded as an example of complete lack of sexuality. It is equally doubtful whether there are any instances of a complete lack of performance on the part of women.It is not a problem that there are especially many examples of sexual weakness, or what is commonly called coldness, among women.Someone once estimated that it was almost as high as 70%, but I don't know what method is used for this estimation.Such exaggerated figures are of course undesirable.In his research, Dr. Hamilton found only one case among 100 normal married women who were really cold and never had any sexual feelings.As for the examples that can only accept the stimulation of automatism and homosexuality, although there are a few, they are not many.There is a long section in Dickenson's "A Study of a Thousand Marriages" that discusses this issue. Dickinson believes that "coldness" cannot be regarded as a fixed state, nor can it be regarded as a definite innate character.There are many reasons for the coldness, such as physique, temperament, education, habits (including lack of knowledge and various habits of automatic love), and even the lack of knowledge and ability of the husband, etc., are all related.Di Shi also believes that the most consistently "cold" women are those who have the habit of automatism; however, strictly speaking, automatist women are not cold at all, as long as the sexual stimulation is to their appetite, their feelings and reactions It is more agile.

The main reason why many women are considered "cold" is not in themselves, but in men.It has been said repeatedly above that in men, the development of sexual impulse tends to be automatic and active, as if it does not rely on any external force; it is not the case in women, no matter how powerful the potential ability of sexual impulse is, in How important is the position in the subconscious mind? Its active expression must be teased out by external forces. In our society, as far as the normal situation is concerned, this external force is the function and effort of the husband.The education of the wife's sexual life is a responsibility of the husband; only the husband can teach the wife to have sexual desires, and to teach such desires to become her conscious desires.If a husband is unable to perform his natural tasks because of insufficient knowledge, or too much prejudice, or too much care, or is not considerate, his wife, although perfect in body and mind, may also be considered "cold". "Top class.Before modern times, for a long period of time, all sexual knowledge was both forbidden and considered unrefined, so why is it that most men cannot become passionate husbands, while most women are inevitably rejected? Do you think it belongs to the "cold" category, like an ancient well without waves?

Only recently have we gradually liberated from this era, and it is precisely because we are not far from that era that there are still so many "cold" women. In the state of our civilization, women are prone to seeming coldness, and from what has been discussed above, it can be seen that there are many reasons for this.Our social situation is called civilization, but ordinary men and women are full of ignorance and muddleheadedness when it comes to sexual issues. In addition, general education is not appropriate, and sexual attitudes are hypocritical and sour. At the same time, The age at which sexual relations begin has slowed so much that it is no wonder that many women are exempt from cold judgments.But if an absolute lack of sexuality or sensuality is a common phenomenon among women, we must remember that in women the problem is much more difficult and complex than in men, and that it is dangerous to jump to conclusions.There is another layer, in women's sexual life, we need to distinguish one more point, that is, sexual desire and pleasure during sexual intercourse are often two different things.Some women may have one but not the other, and even if they have both, it is inconvenient for us to categorically say that she is an example of a complete lack of performance.In the study of Dr. Hamilton, it may be significant that a large proportion of women (55%), although weak in erotic hyperactivity, admit that their sexual desire is above the level of ordinary women.There are also some women, although they have been married several times and have had contact with several men, although they have always shown a cold state, but in the end, perhaps in the late middle age, their sexual impulses began to become active.Even if the activation of the sexual drive does not always occur during coitus, it can often be expressed in other ways at other times, or as a variety of variable activities, or by artificial hands to obtain satisfaction in other more marginal erogenous zones; In women, the erogenous zone is much more numerous than in men, and the ability to receive stimulation is much greater, which has been discussed earlier.

In short, it is much more difficult to affirm the existence of sexual inadequacy in women than in men.If we come across a special case that looks cold, we can only say that we have not discovered the way this woman expresses her impulses, or that although there is no way to express her at present, there may be in the future, so we have to wait for later. .Adelaide has always believed that the lack of sexiness is a common phenomenon among women, but when he wanted to provide the most definite example, he had to present a real "femme de glace" (femme de glace). Or a woman who is "sheer psychologically unsexy", but he can only find one in the pile of old papers, and this example has been written for more than a hundred years before his own birth, and there is no other than literary records. The one to which the slightest medical literature bears witness is the famous Madame de Warens.And what he based on is only a passage of Rousseau's text in the book, and we know that Rousseau is just a writer who is good at words, and his description may not be reliable.At the same time, from the perspective of a lover, Rousseau's talent is also quite problematic, that is, Rousseau is not a lover with rich sexual experience; what's more strange is that Ashi did not see some of Mr. Warren's own love for his wife. According to records, he said she was hysterical and neurotic.Since the development of sexual psychology, we know that this kind of morbidity is easy to cause sexual impulse in various disguised manifestations. If the examples do not have detailed medical records, these subtle changes will be impossible to investigate.

In short, examples of this type are hard to believe, and we must investigate the root cause before we can accept them.The author doubts the existence of "cold woman" at all, not only does it not exist in contemporary times, I am afraid it has never existed. The previous discussion is about the lack of performance, and I will briefly talk about the other end of the sexy allergies below. In the present state of civilization, the presence of sexual allergies in both sexes is more common than sexual inadequacy, and is largely due to the civilized life situation.On the one hand, this kind of situation increases sexual stimulation, but on the other hand, it hinders the sexual impulse in many ways, preventing it from having a proper expression.A little sensual allergen has its place in the usual courtship.In animals, the performance of sexual hypersensitivity is a kind of extreme excitement and restlessness, but in humans, this kind of excitement often takes a relatively static way on the surface, and becomes a yearning and dreaming about the other party's talents and appearance.In the state of abstinence or protracted periods, sexual allergies can often occur, and things that are generally irrelevant or very irrelevant to sexual life can also become sexual stimuli.But if the hypersensitivity reaches such a degree that a reaction or a tendency to react can occur at any time, it becomes a kind of abnormality, and it is more or less related to neuropathy.

But hypersensitivity and performance are not the same thing.Extraordinarily powerful men, or what Benedikt called "sexual athletes," or "sexual champions," are not hypersensitive to sensuality. The display of strength requires a prior tranquility, which is not enjoyed by the hypersensitive.If a person with sexual allergies has a powerful performance, it is just a similarity, although it is often enough to teach oneself to be a top-notch sexual master, but an insider can recognize it for himself; sexual allergies are a sign of weakness, not a sign of strength. Abnormal sexual allergies can appear before the germination of spring, and can also occur in old age.It may also be an important ingredient in the divergences discussed above.One must have the power to accept unusual sexual stimuli on the one hand, and on the other hand have a considerable degree of sensitivity, so that a divergent approach can be established.

As mentioned earlier, in the state of sexual hypersensitivity, anything related to objects of the opposite sex, even things that have at most only some similarities or analogies with sexual things, can also arouse sexual associations and arouse sexual emotions.Any part of the body is not the clothes worn on the body; any more special gestures, which may have nothing to do with the topic of sex; the mating of animals or even the mating of insects; What has been forgotten has now not only become a symbol, but also has become concrete and become a stimulus that can be nostalgic. In this state of widespread sexual hypersensitivity, a person has no choice about stimuli, almost all stimuli are stimuli, and all stimuli have the power of prompting or suggesting.With this wide range of allergies as the foundation and soil, various special fetishes can take root and grow separately; although the occurrence of fetishes is not likely to be this way, it may not be one of the ways out.We might as well mention here that sexual allergies can also be manifested in disguise, or pretended so that ordinary people can't see it, and even the person can't feel it.The shabby sex mentioned above, or the hypocrisy of sex, is the sexy allergy of this appearance.The monstrosity or abhorrence of sexual things, as well as the liking for monstrosity, are likewise based on hypersensitivity.

Perverted hypersensitivity is often associated with neurosis, but not necessarily a sign of madness.The state of allergies can be restrained and concealed, that is, it can be more or less controlled by the will.But in extreme cases, the power of impulse and muscle activity can be too great to control.In this case, it can become a pathology, which is called "satiria" or "satyriasis" in men, and "nymphomania" in women. ● Section 8 Chastity We have discussed the issue of celibacy in the manuscript.When we talk about abstinence, what we have in mind is a negative state.Just suppressing a natural impulse, of course, is negative.This kind of restraint has its own motivation, and the motivation has its own explicit cause and condition, and this kind of cause and condition is often humble and insignificant, not only has nothing to do with the impulse, but is completely opposed to the impulse.This is why abstinence is often harmful.Abstinence itself is by no means a virtue, although we also admit that part of the motives for the abstinence may be some virtues, or things related to them.The French writer Flaubert once wrote to the French woman writer Georges.Sand (Ceorge Sad) discusses this very interestingly in his letter, saying that the effort of desperation is good, but desperation itself is not. The chastity we are going to discuss now cannot be compared with abstinence. Chastity can have an element of abstinence, but it doesn't necessarily include abstinence.The term chastity, in common usage, is sometimes confused with despair, which inevitably underestimates chastity, which is very inappropriate.Chastity can be defined as self-sanction in the sexual sphere.In other words, a chaste person can sometimes abstain from desire, but at other times he can also display his lust moderately. The important point is to have a thoughtful and harmonious use of sexual impulse in both body and mind, and to use this use Consider it one of the great principles of life.We know that chastity is not a negative state but an active virtue.Once the author heard a girl of fourteen or fifteen scolding a boy of about the same age for being too gluttonous. She said, "You never knew how to control yourself!" The boy said, "It's unnecessary." The girl said, "Yes, you don't need abstinence, but it's better to have abstinence than not to be." I think that when the girl grows up, it will be easy for her to understand what chastity is.Chastity is an expression of proper lust and proper enjoyment.This general abstinence or principle of proportion is called temperance in English, and it was called sophrosyne by the ancient Greeks. The restraint of sexual desire is chastity. The reason why chastity is a virtue is not restricted by any belief or religion.We admit, indeed, that in many parts of the world religion has always had some sanctioning power over sexuality.In other words, from a religious point of view, sexual activities should only be within a certain range, and anything beyond this range is a sin.It is easy to understand that any religious society, whether Christian or otherwise, cannot but have such attitudes and regulations.However, if we put religion aside and speak entirely from the standpoint of society and even human nature, chastity is always a virtue, it was so before, and it still is now. Among savages all over the world, young children are quite free to engage in sexual play and even practice sexual activity.This proves that in this kind of nation, abstract.Volley's prohibition on sexual activity does not exist. At the age of spring, however, a new attitude toward sexuality seems necessary to what we consider primitive: an attitude of sanction.Among peoples with some cultures, various restrictions on sexual activities are common, and these restrictions may be different from Christian restrictions on fornication and adultery, etc. Its purpose, but its limitation is one.Generally speaking, these kinds of restrictions are somewhat helpful to the improvement of the value of sex and the maintenance of sexual dignity.Some restrictions are aimed at avoiding harmful sexual activities, some regulate beneficial sexual activities, and some link sexual activities with the sacred solar terms or rituals passed down by the nation. Of course, the so-called beneficial and harmful have to be viewed from their perspective But objectively speaking, it is generally good.This type of sanction, this type of sexual activity regulated to avoid harm, we may rightly call chastity, and this chastity may be considered a solid and organic part of the institution of life of the ancestors. .No matter how high or low the national culture is, most of them always have a long list of customs that directly or indirectly maintain chastity, and some of them are often very bizarre, but even as far as such bizarre practices are concerned, their purpose is nothing more than to increase the dignity of sexual life, so not only It can be supported by the public, and it can last for a long time and become a part of cultural tradition.The British anthropologist Crawley said it well: Although such conventions seem to us bizarre, "at least from the standpoint of ancestral sociology, they are consistent with biological facts, and this harmony At the same time, there are many legendary explanations for this practice. On the surface, these explanations seem irrelevant, but in fact they also helped a lot for the elastic nervous system of the primitive people, making the life of the primitive people You can become more and more self-disciplined, rational, and you can achieve more effective results in your career, both personally and in society." Kirchard then said: "But if this practice is too extreme, a disintegrating Tendencies are inevitable; but, as far as trends are concerned, their aim is one of moderation, and after many experiments, experiments, of course, are always slow, they have at last attained it with great certainty. Since primitive and natural chastity was developed through repeated experiments, it also has its scientific value; this primordial chastity is the starting point of the history of human sexual life." The level discussed by Kirkley often tends to become darker after the culture is more developed, and the reason is the extreme point mentioned above, that is, religious creeds and social customs usually put The concept of chastity is too absolute. In the last few hundred years of Western civilization, there are good examples of this level. Chastity, once disguised as forced celibacy, becomes unnatural, ceases to be a virtue, and has no practical utility.The fundamental nature of chastity is also invisible.When this is the case, chastity is dismissed by the uninformed as "unnatural" or unnatural, and as an incidental condition of stupid religious creeds and feeble political rule, which should be And this creed and politics share their destiny.This can be said to be extremely wronged.Because most people have such ignorant views, so in modern times, in Western society, once such unnatural sexual barriers were removed or broken down, many people's sexual activities tended to go to the other extreme. Promiscuity sees it as an ideal and actually acts on it; they don't understand that such an extreme is just as unnatural as it is undesirable. Chastity is a state of balance, while abstinence and indulgence are two turbulent states that go to extremes. Once the state of balance turns into a state of turmoil, it will take a considerable amount of time to recover, because like a pendulum, both swings to the left , it has to be placed to the right, and there is a natural physical limitation.We can see this difficulty very clearly in the Soviet Union in recent years.In the Tsarist era, on the surface, customs imposed many and strict restrictions on sexual activities, but in the bottom, there were also many sexual indulgences. These two opposite tendencies had their own reactions.After the revolution, sexual activity was liberated, and most of this liberation tended to be indulgent.At present (1933) nearly twenty years have passed since the revolution, but this trend of indulgence is still felt by those who regard temperance as a bourgeois idiocy.But the main tendency is always a reaction against indulgence.Therefore, in recent years, there are not a few members of the Communist Party who have been expelled from the party due to private sexual misconduct, and perhaps not less than those who have been purged because of political offenses.The present situation in Russia is very much like that of Geneva under Calvinism in the eighteenth century, for the stubbornness and severity of Russian Marxism are fundamentally similar to Calvinism.In Soviet Russia, someone said: "Liquidism, promiscuity, lasciviousness, rape (perhaps including more than one divorce and remarriage in a short period of time), etc. are disgusting, and the offenders will inevitably be expelled from the party. The behavior is contrary to the social purpose of the party." This state of turmoil, unfortunate as it is, should not make us forget the chastity of a state of balance.After all, it is a virtue worth embracing.This virtue is also indispensable, and we cannot do without it in order to foster the vitality of the sexual function.In order to maintain the dignity of being a human being, we cannot live without it.In addition, it is also a big factor in the art of love that can enhance happiness.The so-called art of love has been defined by someone as "the art of touching sexual things with hands, while these hands do not forget that they also have the skillful ability to pursue and restrain all the subtle purposes of life." ● Section IX Menopause In the process of marriage, the termination of menstruation or menopause (menopause) is a stage full of psychological significance.The previous views on this kind of meaning may have been exaggerated, but the existence of great meaning is a fact after all. The reason why the author mentions this point is because the recent trend inevitably takes this significance too lightly.Many women in medicine now say that it is one of the "eccentricities" of people to attribute the ailments of this age to the cessation of menstruation.As far as their practical experience in practicing medicine is concerned, it is extremely rare to find symptoms that are really caused by menopause.This again underestimates the importance of scriptures too much. The scriptures are indeed full of psychological significance, and they cannot be ignored directly for women themselves or indirectly for family life and social life.Menopause is the end of a woman's reproductive period, just like the germination of spring is the starting point of the reproductive period. The starting point can be a problem, and the termination can also be a problem, because it is a threshold. In English, it is called climacteric, which means crossing the threshold, also known as the change of life (Change of life), which is a degeneration period of the sexual and reproductive system.The age at which it occurs often varies greatly from person to person, the earliest is 35 years old, the latest is 55 years old, and the common age is between 45 and 50 years old.It can be completely terminated in as few years as long as 3 years.It is related to changes in endocrine function and changes in the automatic nervous system, and the results it causes are various symptoms of emotion, arteries and nerves, among which the most unpleasant It is heartbeat, anger, etc.These symptoms are not so much due to the increase of blood pressure, as it is due to the fluctuation of blood pressure.A long time ago, Maranhão put forward a "multi-glandular theory" (pluri glandular theory) to explain the origin of menopause. According to him, the most basic relationship is the ovary, thyroid gland (called shield gland) and The adrenal glands, followed by the pituitary gland.These have changed, and menstruation has also changed accordingly.Fitzgibbon (Fiiz gibbon) has another statement. He believes that when a woman reaches a certain age, her reproductive organs will automatically degenerate and shrink. Menopause is a part of this degeneration, and a toxin will inevitably be released during degeneration. Above The above-mentioned symptoms such as getting angry and flushing in the face are the result of the toxin epidemic.Therefore, in more serious cases, if the uterus is removed, such symptoms can be eliminated at any time.However, we know that in some women, after the uterus was removed due to illness in the early years, such symptoms can still occur significantly, so Fei's statement is at least very doubtful. During menopause there are always slight changes or disturbances, both mental and physical.But with many women, even with some of the weakest nerves, they all pass safely through without serious difficulty.Only a small number of women will feel some unsupportable weakness in both body and mind, which is not necessary for rest. On the spiritual side, one effect is quite real and inevitable; men, women perhaps especially, fear the coming of old age, and try to teach it to be delayed.Now that the period of menopause has arrived, the changes in life have begun, and her prime of life is coming to an end. This fact, which she cannot help but not recognize, will inevitably leave a deep impression on her spirit.At the same time, the end of reproductive life seems to be the end of all sexual life, although in fact this is not the case, as we have already mentioned.When a woman comes here, she is even more surprised to find that the most important stage of her life is coming to an end like the sunset.Some women have poor self-control and deep feelings of unwillingness. They will unconsciously and suddenly increase the scope and effort of their sexual activities, and even take the initiative to abandon the old and embrace the new, and have sex with other men.Even unmarried women, who have always followed the rules and are afraid of others' words, sometimes have similar behaviors here; but the nervous instability of this kind of women is probably higher than that of ordinary women, otherwise it would not be so.This kind of performance is known to many people, but in the gossip of ordinary people, it is unavoidable to exaggerate.In fact, there are not many women with this kind of performance after all. We have to admit, however, that during the cessation of menstruation, various disturbances can sometimes occur in the life of the sexual psyche, especially the abnormal intensity of the libido, which is a flashback of the reproductive fire already alluded to above, perhaps with some additions. Other psychological traits, such as eccentric temperament, overthinking, jealousy, etc., sometimes the expression of sexual desire will inevitably go on the road of divergence.In a married woman, this situation is often more serious, because her husband's sexual ability will inevitably decline with age.At the same time, because of the long marriage, the relationship between each other has tended to be peaceful and indifferent. It is not easy for a man to muster up the courage to respond to his wife's strong sexual desire.Therefore, this kind of desire will inevitably find other ways of development, and may turn to manifest itself in the form of jealousy.Therefore, in this period, not only can there be various pains and difficulties in the physical aspect, but also in the psychological aspect, many inhuman qualities will inevitably emerge as the times require.However, if this type of physical and mental qualities become more prominent, no matter how prominent they are, we should know that they have no direct causal relationship with the scriptures, and the direct reason is still in the original temperament of the person. All kinds of traits are hidden inside, and only when the menopause is reached, they take advantage of the opportunity to show up. We should be more aware that during the period of menopause, not only the various symptoms mentioned above have no fundamental internal connection with menopause, but they must come out at that time, and women at this age, in fact, still have many symptoms. The advantage of less compensation.Fielding (wjFlelding) said: "For countless women, menopause is the beginning of a golden age of career achievement. At the same time, as long as the congenital heredity is good and the life of the day after tomorrow is normal, women will not lose their lives at this age. At least we can't find any reason why we must lose it. In fact, there are many women who are more beautiful at the age of 50 than they are at the age of 25; Exploited and plump, they may be more graceful when they reach the age of 60 than when they are 30." Hofstaetter says that during this period women not only exhibited some masculine traits in physique, but also "exhibited a surprisingly masculine quality in habits and thoughts, Such as being well-organized. Objectivity, understanding and tolerance of abstract concepts such as fairness and justice, economic ability, general social and political interests, etc.” The author thinks that we can admit that these are the psychology that postmenopausal women may have traits, but we don't necessarily see them as masculine traits. They are all qualities that have nothing to do with gender. Although many people think that there are more people who express this kind of quality among ordinary men than women, this is not necessarily the case.But after menopause, there are all kinds of psychological characteristics.We can say that the common life of many spouses must not be completed until this period, and it can be regarded as a very happy and harmonious relationship.Although this relationship looks like a brother-sister or sister-sibling relationship on the surface, it is a happy and harmonious relationship.There is no doubt that when women reach this age, their intellectual activities will increase compared with before.In fact, many women of note do not begin their professional activities until after the reproductive period has passed.Such intellectual interest or business activity, if not expressed in ordinary social life, will find use in the home.Therefore, some women can't help interfering too much with their children's development, especially for grown-up daughters who are unmarried at home.In this way, being a child will inevitably suffer a lot.If the younger generation encounters this kind of mother or grandmother, it is necessary to resist resolutely and without hurting the kindness; the kindness of resistance will probably not cause pain to any party in the family, but if the pain is unavoidable, it is better to teach the younger generation Suffering is better than letting the elders suffer.However, in this situation, the knowledgeable elders can not only love the younger generation as much as possible, but also liberate the power of maternal instinct and apply it to the wider society and career. Is there a period in a man's life that roughly corresponds to menopause?This is still a matter of debate.If so, this period must not be as clear and definite as a woman's.因为我们知道：精液分泌的功能是没有一个确定的最后年龄的，有的男人到了耄耋之年还能分泌精液。 记载上有一个103岁的男人还有这种功能。不过有的男人， 到了生命的某一个时期里也会突然感到一个转变。 而在精神上引起一些烦扰。 孟德尔（ Kurt Mendtei）是最早使我们注意到这一点的人。从此以后，很多人却主为这种转变是相当于女人经绝的一个现象。但也有个承认的，例如克拉夫特一埃平和一部分别的专家。 不过就在古代， 大家在男人的生命里也公认有一个“大关口”（grand climacteric），而其交逢的年龄是63岁。 这所谓关口的说法倒也不错，因为我们决不能说男人也有一个绝经的时期。马拉已昂也看到此点，替它另起了一个意思差不多的名词，就是“危机的年龄”（critical age），承认它是个人有机演化中的一个阶段，其中心现象是生殖生活的减少以至于消灭，不过这只是中心现象，而非轴心现象，是一个关口，而非一个枢纽，个人生命的演化只是经历着它，而不绕着它走，它是以前演化的果，而不是以后演化的因。所谓不是轴心，就是这个意思。个人的生命推演到这个年龄，生殖功能是退化了。同时，神经和内分泌腺的联络反应也起了变迁，这便是所谓危机的年龄的生物基础了。沃克（Kenneth Walker）把这个年龄约略放在55岁到60 岁之间， 托雷克（ Max Thorek）以为这年龄比女人的经绝年龄要迟7年到10年，兰金（Rankin）把它放在57岁与63岁之间，马库斯（Max Marcuse）则在45岁与55岁之间， 但认为最早的可以在40岁。我可以说还有比40岁更早的例子，有不少人在38岁前后就感到这个年龄的来临。男人到此，自己会突然发觉他的能力扩展时期已经终结，从此就不免日趋衰退，一般的能力如此，性的能力自亦不成例外；这种发觉当然是下舒服的。到此，头发虽未发白，牙虽未落，而所谓垂老的厌倦心理不免油然而生。 能力衰退与这种衰退的发觉是很有一些不良影响的，一种所谓不伏老的心理，在一般性格方面，可以表现为妄自尊大、自私自利、缺乏同情、待人粗犷等等的品性，而在性生活方面，好比前面所说女于在绝经时期所表现的那样，也可以像火山一般有一些突然喷发的现象。这些性格上的变迁，大体上是首好处的，就是它们对于风烛残年，总可以加上几分自卫的力量，老人所切忌的是强烈的情绪作用，而这些品性是和这种作用背道而驰的，即有了这种品性，青年人和壮年人所表现的情绪作用便不需要了。不过它们也可以引发许多问题，而这些性格的会同表现，包括性冲动的突发与不容自制、私利心之多与同情心之少等等，其所引起的问题，不免更见得严重，而成为各种变态的性行为，例如前文所已讨论的裸恋。对女童的特别爱好。又或转入同性恋一途而对男童发生兴趣，所谓“迟暮的同性恋”（retarded homosexuality）即是。德国著名小说家托马斯。曼（Thomas Mann ） 在他那部《在威尼斯之死》（Der Tod in venedig）里就拿这问题做题材，曼氏自己也说明著述的原意是在把病态男人的关口年龄描画出来，希尔虚弗尔德认为在未婚男子与已寡女人中，这种病态独多，而马库斯则以为凡是性能欠缺的男子特别容易表现这种病态。 男子到了关口的年龄或危机的年龄以后，心理品性的变迁自不只前文所叙的一些。从广处看，勇气的减少。一切行为的自积极趋于消极、自急进趋于恬退。 在社会与政治的见解上，自革命的或改革的而趋于保守的一流。这一类到处认为是老年的特征的，我们也可以看作肇始于这一年龄。固然我们也承认，人老心不老的例外分子也还不太少。 总之，男人的生殖的生命既远不如女人的那么浓厚，所以男人的关口时期要比女人的绝经时期模糊得多，也较无关宏旨。不过它依然可以引起一些轻微不健全的品性，相当于女人在同期内所发生的品性，例如心躁、卑鄙、吝啬等等。但比较健全的也有。到了老年，一个人的人生观要比以前宽广，宁静，不过这其间所牵涉到的精神上的变迁，比起女子来，更见得是内在的，而不是外露的，因为男人的生活一向既比女人为活跃，其外倾的性质也比较显著，到此情形一变，便不免更显得内倾了，而女人的则似乎相反。内在的品性与行为的方向既有此种转变，所以朗金说，这也许是“生命的一个新的租期”，是一种新生命的起始。在这种新生活里，即使活动减少了，志向与豪气改变了，人生哲学也经过一番磨折而归于淡泊宁静，也正有它的好处。