Chapter 8 ●Chapter 4 Sexual variation and symbols of sexual love-1

● Section 1 Sexual Variation In the past, all experts on sex life thought that there was only one pattern of this kind of life, and those who did not fit this pattern were not “normal”.In their minds, this point seems to be a long-established truth, and there is no need to further discuss it.As for the so-called unique pattern, they have never given a detailed explanation or exact definition, as if everyone knows it innately.But when we intimately probe into the facts of sex life, we immediately find that this is not a truth but an assumption, and the assumption is also false.In fact, there is far more than one pattern of sexual life. We must say a number. It is better to say more than less. Even we can say that everyone has a pattern, and it is not too far from the truth.We can at least say that there are several types of patterns, and a person's sexual life always has a type of belonging, and the so-called belonging refers to patterns that are close to a certain type, but never exactly this pattern.

I have seen this layer since the day I began to study sexual psychology.In the author's works, I often point out that the range of variation in sexual life is the same as that in other aspects of nature.The argument of a single pattern is untenable in any case.Today, most experienced observers have gradually admitted this point. To give just one example, Dickinson, a famous gynecologist, said that we "have growing doubts about a single fixed sexual pattern". What is the normal range of variation?This is not an easy question to answer.But we might as well come up with a standard.The purpose of sex is to reproduce. We can say that any sexual life that can more or less take care of the purpose of reproduction may vary, but it is still normal.This is not to say that any sexual life that is not for the purpose of reproduction is unreasonable.That is by no means, sometimes, say, for reasons of personal health or national health, the temporary abandonment of such purposes is morally necessary.However, some sexual activities not only do not aim at reproduction, but also make reproduction impossible in a way, and when adopting this method, there is always a certain degree of intentionality, which can be said to be unreasonable and abnormal.We call this kind of sexual behavior divergence.

Sexual divergence used to be called "evil evil" in the West.At first, the general opinion of ordinary people always believed that sexual perversion was a sin of blasphemy or a crime against morality, or at least a vice capable of injuring the individual's body and mind.It is under this view that the term evil is born.Even today, this term is often used by those who are bound by traditional concepts and cannot be freed.In the early years, the author himself used it, but when he used it, he always felt a little reluctant, so he always had to give a special explanation while using it.The author now thinks (and gynecologist Dickinson also has this opinion) that it is best not to use this term at all, and our knowledge about sex life has reached a level that teaches us not to use it anymore.The noun comes from the Latin word perversus, but the original Latin word sometimes also has a derogatory meaning.Before the sexual research in science and medicine began, it was common to have a favorable or negative view, but it is not appropriate today when such research has already begun.We have known for a long time that the purpose of this kind of abnormal research is only to understand, when it is necessary, to further try to treat it, not to judge good and evil.In this era, using a term that belongs to another era is in vain enough to cause ideological confusion, which is not beneficial to the study of sexual science but harmful; as for the adverse psychological effects on people who have changed. Although it is extremely important, it is still a matter.In short, the term evil is not only completely out of place.And it has actual harm, so it should be discarded.

Western sex psychologists sometimes call it "displacement" when sexual impulses become excessively stuck or in an unresolved relationship with an unusual object.The advantage of this term is that it does not carry any moral judgments.However, there is also a shortcoming, that is, it is inevitable to regard sexual impulse as a static thing, but in fact it is full of dynamics, full of vitality, and is prone to change.Therefore, the noun of extremity is not as good as the noun of divergence (sexual deviation), which is enough to indicate that the sexual impulse is full of movement and vitality.

In the past, the author also used another term "erotic symbolism" for most of the divergent ways of sex, and used it for a long time.In a narrow sense, this phenomenon can also be called "erotic fetishm" together.What does this phenomenon refer to?Sexual life is originally a psychological process, which is usually complete, continuous, and has a normal path; A certain action of a thing or experience should usually be at the fringes of the process, or even beyond the fringes, so that it becomes the center of attention, the object of preoccupation.This is what the author called a symbolic phenomenon before, and if this phenomenon does not occur, it is one's own, otherwise it often occurs in a person's youth.To a normal person in love, something in the environment that is irrelevant or insignificant.Once people with this phenomenon become very important or even the only important thing, this only important thing actually becomes a symbol and a symbol of the whole process of sexual life, so it is called the symbolic phenomenon of sexual love.

Viewed broadly, all sexual variations are instances of erotic symbols.Because in this kind of example, things that have little sexual value for ordinary people, or even things that have no value, are all turned into things of value. In other words, some of them become symbols of daily love.In general, even in a normal and more delicate love life, we can find some elements of evidence, because people who are in love always like to pour part of their energy into a certain physical and mental characteristics of the other party, so that the body and mind cannot be separated. On top of that characteristic, which in itself is insignificant, but on such occasions acquires symbolic value.

The symbolic phenomena we understand here can also be said to be relatively ancient, and our usage here, that is, to include all kinds of sexual variations that were generally considered "evil" in the past, is also relatively wide, and it is more extensive than psychoanalysis. Used much more widely.When the psychoanalyst uses this term, he has in mind only a certain mechanism of psychic activity.Such institutions undoubtedly exist.An analyst Jones said: "The main function of all symbolic phenomena is to remove our psychological inhibitions and allow us to express freely the feelings (feeling-ideas) that we want to express but cannot express." One of the functions of phenomena and a very interesting one.

But we must be careful not to assume that all forms of symbolic phenomena have this function.Let us now give a representative example. For a patriot, the national flag is a very important symbol. Needless to say, he worships this symbol very much. However, this kind of worship cannot be said to be an expression of overcoming psychological inhibition. .In the past, the sailors on a warship climbed up the mast and nailed the national flag high on the top of the mast during sea battles. It cannot be said that this kind of inhibition or fear is necessary to overcome and eliminate.From such examples, we can realize that one of the basic purposes of symbols is to allow abstract sentiments to be expressed in concrete ways, in short, to enrich sentiments.A person in a state of love often pays special attention to things on or outside his lover, such as his hair, hands or shoes.When he puts his heart into it, he doesn't want to overcome any psychological inhibitions, but wants to turn the emotions aroused by his lover's personality in him from looseness to cohesion, from abstraction to concreteness, and cohesion must come to fruition , the concrete must be a thing, and the thing that accepts this fall is a symbol.The purpose of our remark is to supplement the views of psychoanalysis, but not to deny their views.Because we admit that among all kinds of symbols, there is indeed a kind that is more special.

The function of such symbols is to substitute an indirect expression for a direct and hidden motive force.Because there is a bit of similarity in nature between performance and motivation, but just because of the similarity, the person who is performing can also obtain psychological satisfaction.What the psychoanalysts admit is this kind of symbol. Even if they can't help but think that this kind of symbol is too big and even think that the world is only this kind of symbol, we should not make the mistake of going to extremes and denying this kind of symbol. The presence of symbols is ignored.

The extent of sexual divergence or erotic symbolism can be seen only by an attempt to classify them.We can divide them into three categories according to the things of this sex object. 1. Parts of the body. ①Normal: hands, feet, breasts, buttocks, hair, secretions and excretions, body odor.This kind of variation has a special name called "body odor love", which is Ophresiolagnia in Western. ② Abnormal: lame, squinting, pockmarked face, etc.; Paidophilia, that is, sexual love for young boys and girls; necrophilia (or vampyrism), that is, sexual love for dead bodies; these can be classified in the first category.

There is also erotic zoophilia, which might as well be included in this category. Ⅱ. Utensils. ① Clothing: Gloves, footwear and garters, skirts, handkerchiefs, shirt crotch. ②Irrelevant objects: This can include many seemingly irrelevant things, but it can also occasionally arouse automatism for people in a state of divergence.The pygmalionism or iconolagnia mentioned in Chapter 2, Section 9, of Birth may also be included in this second category. Ⅲ. Action and attitude. ① Automatic: whipping, abuse, naked love (exhibitionism) that shows the desire or body of the genitals, causing physical mutilation and killing of others. ②Passive: beaten or otherwise abused.Body odor and guttural sounds in the first category can also be included in this category. ③Scoptophilia, mixoscopia, voyeurism mentioned in Chapter 2, Section 9 above include action scenes such as scenes, climbing, and swinging in which people in a divergent state feel sexual stimulation; Action and urolagnia; feces action or coprolagnia; mating behavior of animals. From what has been said above, we can see that there are many and wide variations in the variety and degree of sexual impulse. At one extreme, we find that a person in a state of love expresses a particularly unbearable love for a pair of gloves or a pair of slippers for his lover. , the most indecent, the most charming and desirable.Many sane and sensitive people feel it too.At the other extreme, we can find cruel killing behaviors such as "jack the Ripper".Nevertheless, we must remember that there are no definite boundaries to be found before the various degrees passed from one extreme to the other.Therefore, what we pay special attention to at present is not the criminal behavior of sex or the relationship between sex and forensic science, but the psychology of normal sexual life. At the slight extreme, a part of the divergent state is fundamentally indistinguishable from the normal state, and can even be considered within the normal range of variation. The extreme modes of symbolizing phenomena or transmutations are to be found mostly among men.There are not no women, but very few, and Kraft-Epping, in his later reprint of "Sexual Psychopathology", also said that he has never found a woman with fetishism.However, this is an exaggerated statement. In fact, examples of women can also be encountered occasionally, and the method is also very clear.As for the slightly different forms of variation, that is, relatively normal symbolic phenomena, it is very common among women.What Mower said is interesting, in the West, soldiers' uniforms have a very common allure to women.This allure is the result of the activity of symbolic phenomena, and what the uniform symbolizes is bravery, but there are also less normal ways, and there is a kind of fetish called kleptolagnia (or erotic kleptonlania), especially compared Formal secret love is almost a way unique to women. ● Section 2 Sexual Variations in Childhood The author has repeatedly said before that after we put aside many religious, moral, and social prejudices, it is inconvenient for us to use "evil" for sexual phenomena in childhood and adulthood. "Evil" and "perverse", especially for children.From the standpoint of biology, we have many behaviors that are not in line with customs, but they are not unnatural. From the perspective of ethnology and history, the so-called customs and habits will vary with time and place. I don’t know when to obey. That place is better.Therefore, the author always feels that we use this kind of description to describe children's problems, such as the "polymorphic perversity" that Freud used to use before, which is not only inappropriate, but also a crime.Fortunately, this kind of time is now gradually a thing of the past.Instead, there are nouns such as "autosexual" and "pre-reproductive".This kind of noun innovation is of course an improvement.American psychiatrist Jerry has long put forward this point.But Freund himself later saw that the various obstacles gradually caused by growth and education were later things that did not exist in childhood.Therefore, the theory of "evil" is absolutely inapplicable. Freund himself said that we should not "take the moral standards and legal terms of mature and fully responsible people as the yardstick for children."It is fundamentally wrong to use words like "evil" for children.Freund's previous so-called "polymorphic perversity" was a very superficial impression; the newborn fern leaves are in a very strange and curved state.When it grows up, it is gradually straightened.This is a very natural and normal thing, but observers who don't understand it may inevitably call it "perverse" or "eccentric".In fact, it is not surprising that the state of boxing and song at an early age is "a necessary stage for all living things". This point has to be specifically stated, because many people who claim to be so-called "Zhu Xue" experts or sex educators do not understand this point, and are entangled in traditional entanglements and cannot explain themselves.We might as well say that ordinary people turn pale when they talk about the so-called "evil" with a kind of horror, and some people especially like to look for "evil" behaviors in children. That is the most evil kind of evil.This kind of terror and madness is rare in other places, and it is not found in peoples with relatively healthy and natural lives, such as generally uncivilized peoples, or classical peoples such as Greece, where Western culture originated. .As for the so-called "evil" behavior of adults, the pathological psychology of ordinary people and some people is exactly the same.They don't know that the so-called "evil" in childhood does not die with childhood; from childhood to adulthood, the form and degree of "evil" can change, but it will not be completely eliminated with age; Have you ever said: "Very few people really grow up." But when they reach adulthood, ordinary people add a sexual intercourse between the two sexes on top of the so-called "evil", and the ultimate purpose of sexual intercourse is to make the two sexes Germ cells are guaranteed to combine.At this point, the "evil" of childhood and adolescence can be used as a foil for sexual behavior in the form of games.We might even say that they are legitimate and even useful foils in the art of erotic love and in the art of fertilization.In short, they're not outside a reasonable range of variation.It is permissible to call them evils unless they overwhelm the guest, make the tail too big, replace the main and central sexual intercourse, or immerse in it for a long time, making the ability of sexual intercourse diminished or impossible. In short, we usually avoid the term evil, especially for children.The mental activity of children is very different from that of adults.considered "natural" in a later period of development Yes, not necessarily so in earlier periods.Therefore, children may not always be able to understand the psychological activities of adults, and adults may not always be able to understand children.It is a very unfortunate thing that after a person becomes a man, he no longer imagines the scene of his childhood, or even if he imagines, this imagination is often very inactive, that is, he can no longer put himself in the place.However, there are many of us who can still recall how we were not understood when we were children, and how we were not treated fairly and reasonably.The misunderstanding and unreasonable treatment here are not limited to the scope of sex at first. In many other aspects of life, the difference between children and adults is not too great, but this kind of misunderstanding and treatment can still occur, but it is very different. On the issue of sexuality, it is conceivable that such mistakes appear one after another. But we should not think that there are no sexual perversions in childhood.There was also in childhood, there was.Compared with adults, however, these perversions are a matter of quantity and degree, not of quality and kind. Whatever the nature of the problem, if it doesn't happen it's fine, and if it does we can always trace it back to some unhealthy heredity.A child's latent sexual drive has undergone abnormal changes, to the point that it is enough to hinder the safety or health of oneself or others, such as "sadomasochism" or "masochism" ) to the point where she bleeds, or likes to steal what the author calls a "secret love", such a child will never be without problems of hereditary quality.Since it has a genetic basis, we can only try our best to improve its environment in terms of medical treatment or hygiene.We always need to remember that there are two kinds of people in today's society who are relatively hard to change their minds: the first kind never understands that human behavior has an innate endowment factor; learning factor.Whenever they encounter such problems, they always use their own prejudices to deal with them.As far as the part of life they can see is concerned, they have their own uses, but as far as the whole life is concerned, as far as a sound and stable outlook on life is concerned, their views are that the combination benefits both sides, and the sharing Then two injuries.We have to combine the two perspectives in order to hope to see the whole of a problem and the truth of the problem.Since a problem cannot be free from prior and acquired elements, we should try to treat the acquired part. For the congenital part, since treatment is impossible, we must arrange an appropriate environment so that the problem will not worsen. Perversions of childhood sex life can often be divided into two categories.However, under unfavorable circumstances, these two types of abnormalities have a tendency to persist into adulthood: one is the tendency to be insufficient and flawed, and the other is the tendency to be excessive and exiled.These two tendencies are quite easy to occur in Western civilization.Because in Western society, no matter in terms of the external environment or the psychology of the body, there are so many stimuli for sexual activities, but the restrictions on sexual activities are as great as that.A deficient tendency in childhood, i.e., a lack of sensuality and underexcitability, is less dangerous than an excessive tendency towards hypersensitivity and hyperexcitability, since this deficiency may not be a fundamental deficiency, but only an expression of developmental delay. It's just that slowness is harmless, and one can still embark on the road of prosperity and smooth development when one reaches the prime of life.Delayed development and there are benefits.Such a person may have a more powerful and happier sex life in his prime.Dr. Hamilton's research is very suggestive of this.In the subjects he studied, he found that the later the sexual curiosity occurred, the more likely there was to be a satisfactory later married life.The best test of satisfaction, according to Heinz, is full arousal during coitus.One thing that is surprising and unexpected about the results of Han’s research is that most women, when they first receive knowledge about sex, feel that sex is an interesting topic compared to those who were once shocked and shocked psychologically. For women, the sex life after marriage seems satisfactory.This is almost 65%, and the so-called satisfaction is also based on the sufficient degree of hypersexuality.Children who find sexual topics interesting at the beginning, we might as well assume, are children who have actually developed their sexual life quite a long time ago, that is, children who have developed their sexuality too early, and children who have been shocked for a while have developed their sexuality relatively late. .Seen in this way, Hans' discovery, though unexpected, was not a true perversion, but an inevitable consequence of a slower development of sexual curiosity. As for precocious puberty or early opening of the sinus, although it is not necessarily a bad omen, it is more or less an obstacle to the healthy development of the future compared to late puberty or late opening.However, according to the research results of Dr. Davis, women who have never masturbated or had other sexual games in their early years are not necessarily more likely to have a happier married life than women who have had sex.Dickinson and Pearson even believed that women who maintained the habit of masturbation had an advantage in later health than women who stopped masturbating after an early age.This may be because the women who maintain this habit are those who are fundamentally healthier and stronger.In other words, the data of the two people had undergone some unconscious selection in the past, that is, there were elements with relatively strong genetics.There are also weaker elements. The health of the former suffers little loss from the habit of masturbation, and the latter does not gain much from abandoning the habit at an early age.At the same time we know that an increase in automatism, or a break in it, is often in women an indicator of an increase in health rather than a cause.The two also said: "There is no clear difference in health between those who started the habit of masturbation early and those who started after the age of eighteen." We may not accept this conclusion unconditionally. The problem of insufficiency of the two perverted tendencies of childhood sexual life is therefore simpler and easier to deal with than the problem of excess.From the evidence cited above we see, rather, as regards the age before the spring begins, that a state of inadequacy is to be regarded as beneficial rather than harmful; It is natural and an unconscious manifestation of children's developmental delay, rather than being forced by artificial, superficial and adverse material and psychological environments.Nevertheless, the problem of excess has become more complicated and complicated.Therefore, each excessive perversion must be dealt with separately.So far we cannot do without the help of a wise physician, who must have a good understanding of the life and problems of children.In the past, it can be said that this kind of doctors did not exist at all, and even today, their number is still very small. However, given the current state of child research and child-guided development, we can hope that there will always be some more enlightened approach to the perversion of the sexual life of children and young people in the future. Generally speaking, the work of child guidance always needs to start in the family.And for most children, it should be done in the family.As for the members of the family, the most natural choice is of course the mother. Of course, the father, that is, the guidance of the girl, is not without his important position.We should understand that maternity is a very serious profession nowadays, not all women have a share, or any woman can afford it.Maternity training is multifaceted, and it cannot be done without a strong woman.But with this kind of training, its responsibility is not easy. The world seems to be developing towards overpopulation very quickly. In the future, poor soldiers and silent warriors don't have to insist on every marriage as a breeding ground for creating soldiers or increasing "cannon fodder".In other words, there is no need for everyone to marry, but everyone must bear the responsibility of giving birth.Assuming this is true, modern women should feel lucky, because from now on, those who are not responsible for childbearing can engage in other jobs, and those who are responsible for childbearing can really make some contributions.From the standpoint of human beings, it does not want every woman to be a mother. It thinks that the number of mothers may be smaller, but each must be a woman with the best quality.This principle of selection, one day recognized by everyone, is sure to bring about a revolution in our sexual lives, and this revolutionary work, like any effective revolutionary work, must begin in infancy. From our current perspective, mothers in the West can be roughly divided into two categories.The first is the category with a large number of people.Because of their lack of knowledge, and because of their cowardice, they almost completely put their children's problems in the back of their minds.The results of this policy of indifference are not necessarily bad, and often very good.The second is the category with a smaller number of people.Having suffered from a smattering of knowledge, they can't help expressing neurotic thoughts and panic about this question, and the results of thinking and panic are more harmful than beneficial.Today's new-style mother, with her own environment and education, has gradually hoped to enter the arbor from the valley to the arbor when it comes to sexual issues, and her attitude towards children's sexual issues is inevitably different from the old-style. All mothers are different.The new-style mother is more flexible, more knowledgeable, but also more humble and less assertive.She knows that she may not fully understand the nature and tendency of various manifestations in her children's lives, so she does not feel the need to interfere anytime and anywhere.She also came to know that the child must pass through many different stages before it completes development, and that even some activities in these stages are not reasonable or healthy and may not interfere.She also felt that it was better not to interfere.Because she understands that interference is mostly, or too much concerned with, interference, and that its consequences may be worse than those of the activity itself.She also knows that her main responsibility is getting to know her child and earning his trust.And when there is a problem, he can be his teacher and advisor without any shame.The real modern mother seems to have this set of skills, which sometimes seems to be acquired by nature rather than education. Because there is no such thing in modern women's education.Regardless, these intuitive insights are sound. Anyone who has a lot of contact with children's lives and a clear understanding can probably confirm this point.That is to say, as far as masturbation is concerned, some people who still maintain the habit of masturbation in adulthood have received strong interference from their mothers in their early years.Unfortunately, this forceful interference may be one of the causes by which the habit is perpetuated. Conversely, some people think that thumb sucking can be transferred to the habit of masturbation, and many children have learned to find pleasure in this sucking activity since they were babies. This activity will naturally gradually disappear, and other activities of more sexual significance, such as masturbation, will not replace it. The educational institution outside the home is naturally the school.As soon as I arrived at school, the difficulties increased.Because in school, many children are mixed together, and the older people they come into contact with are not the parents and elder brothers who know them the most and love them the most.Not only do they have no guidance in such an environment, but the environment is simply unnatural.It is neither natural, and the occurrence of ills is bound to increase.Ms. Goldsmith (Elizabeth Goldsmiih) in the book "Sex in Civilization" tells of a school where the school authorities stated after some guidance efforts: "We have now come to the conclusion that masturbation by young children is best Don't limit them. We are to study the whole adjustment or position of a child, and the particular point of attention is to let him know that he is a healthy, active, active child.His relation to his surroundings and his activities are very satisfying. The so-called "special attention" and other words are correct and very important. What will be the result after the attention? Ms. Ge's manuscript did not mention it. Undoubtedly, the experimental period of this type of school policy is still short, and it cannot be implemented for a while. Definite results can be said; unless we in the prime of life can really recall our own childhood experience and really put ourselves in the shoes of children, I am afraid that there will be no concrete results for a while. In any case, if we do not know enough about children's lives at the same time, And the time to remind people to be vigilant is not enough. I am afraid that this kind of policy will not be easy to carry out smoothly. As far as the current general schools are concerned, there is no policy.If there is one, it is a policy of "never be foolish, not foolish, and not be an idiot".However, if an individual case of "misconduct" in sexual behavior is discovered by chance, the school will suddenly become aware of it, and must specifically mention the offender, "to set an example for others to follow."Hugh de Selincourt wrote a novel called "A Young Child", which described this problem very vividly.Although there are many forms of autosexual behavior among girls in schools, they are always very secretive and more or less unconscious on the part of the girls themselves.But in boys the secrecy is less; in the larger schools we sometimes find masturbation "clubs" and other clandestine sexual associations, although teachers are rarely even suspicious of their existence.In such an organization, the central figures are always a small number of children with a particularly strong inheritance of sexual emotions and a particularly early sexual development.If their deeds are too obvious to be noticed, these become what we now call "problem children".Although this kind of child is somewhat sexually ill on the one hand, on the other hand, it is associated with perseverance and leadership talent, so it will inevitably have some adverse effects on children with relatively normal temperaments and young children who are easily infected.Therefore, in any situation where a large number of children live together, one of the most fundamental conditions for assuming the free development and natural development of most children is that people carefully separate such problem children.Experiments we have so far prove that this is necessary; otherwise, all bad habits, including but not limited to sexual habits, would follow; A morbid sadistic tendency to treat younger children like fish on a chopping board.From this, we can understand that it is very difficult to guide children, and it is not easy for children to develop step by step along the natural order. Eliminate all the influences of species that can hinder natural development; just like planting grains, the former needs to passively not pull up the seedlings to encourage growth, while the latter needs to actively cultivate seedlings or weeding.As for dealing with problem children, sometimes the first thing to do is to separate them, but whether separated or not, each instance must be treated separately, because no two cases are exactly alike, and this individual treatment It also requires very sophisticated skills and methods; at the same time, it should be noted that in this kind of children, although some divergent sexual tendencies can be detected in nine out of ten cases, their abnormal behavior is definitely not limited to the scope of sex. And above, and this kind of abnormal behavior is often anti-social and can affect the safety of others. But as far as ordinary children are concerned, the responsibility for this kind of teaching always falls on the parents, especially the mother, without any excuse.However, we should no longer regard maternity as just a biological function of animals, but recognize it as a very high-level profession, which can only be done by women who are not intelligent and properly trained; as for some women, or It is best not to care about those who are lacking in the body or have other sustenance due to natural interests.Incompetent parents, careless parents and stupid parents can have a very bad influence on children. Today, many people have gradually recognized it.Just when parents who claim not to belong to these categories, either because they are devoted to their profession or because of temporary whims, they often don’t have certain reasonable coping methods. Sometimes they are too strict, sometimes they are too laissez-faire. Be at a loss and teach your children to react by silently and secretly commenting.Know that children are having their own forum, talking about their parents constantly.At first, children always think that their parents are the most perfect parents in the world, and this is where part of their self-esteem and self-love rest.易言之，他们心目中的父母是正义极高的，惟其正义高，因而期望重，惟其期望重，所以父母一有磋跌，在他们心理上所引起的反响是极严重的。 英国学童家长会有一次在伦敦开会的时候，卡利斯教授（Winifred Cullis） 说过一句话：“最能训练孩子而使他们学到克己功夫的人便是一些别的孩子。” 这一观察是很对的。不过我们必须把它和前文的讨论合在一起，那意义才完全。 我们总得和等辈的人共同生活，而共同生活的必要条件是纪律和克己功夫，这真是不错的。生活必须有节制，所谓节制指的是各种冲动的节裁以及一部分自然倾向的驾驭。在社会生活里无节制的放纵是没有地位的；弗洛伊德在《精神分析演讲集》中很值得佩服的第26讲里，说过一句很中肯的话：“所谓自由生活本身就是一种抑制。”因为要取得自由生活，我们必须把我们一半的冲动压制下去，而这一半也就是最富有人性的一半。压制成功，我们的幸福才算有了最后的凭借。 做老辈的人，最好不要把纪律与克己功夫强制地安放在儿童头上，而多担当一些指导与顾问的任务。从最幼小的年龄起，一个人其实始终在训练他的纪律生活与培养他的克己功夫，但这种生活与功夫的养成，与其凭借老辈的训诫之力，毋宁依靠等辈的磨练之功，因为后者要自然得多，健全得多，而自然与健全的教育我们认为才是真正有价值的教育。 ● 第三节溲溺恋及遗屎恋幼童时期最普通的性象征现象或性的歧变是属于排遗（scatologic）一类的。 这方面的意义早被弗洛伊德及其他学者加以申说。大小便的器官，或肠道与尿道和性器官的部位最近，因此，在心理上也容易发生亲切的联带关系原是不难了解的。即使不就性的立场而言，大小解的行为也尽有理由让儿童感到兴趣。一则儿童喜欢造作东西，粪便的造作当然也是一种造作，并且可以说是艺术冲动的一个萌芽的表现。再则，大小便的行为与排泄的数量也是一个力量的表现，拿便溺时间的长久与屎的粗大来自豪的，儿童中是不少的。汉密尔顿医生在他的研究里发现成婚的男子中，有21％在儿童时期对粪便发生过不少兴趣，而在当时的想象生活与游戏生活里，粪便也是一个重要的题目。已婚女子在童年有同样情形的也占到16％。大小便的功能在当时也似乎能吸收一部分神经的力量，到了后来，这力量才完全用在性功能上面；在少女中，间或在成年的女性中，积欲后的解欲也许会取不由自主与痉挛性的撒尿的方式。睡眠中遗尿和性的活动似乎也有相当关系，有时和手淫也有关联。弗洛伊德认为儿童时期的便秘，有时是有些故意的，因为肠道的粪的积累多少可以引起一些性的快感；弗氏的观察虽不易证实，但膀胱中尿的积累有时候确有这种作用，即在成年，还有人这样做的。有不少儿童以为大人的性交多少和大小便的行为有些关系；他们自己对大小便的行为既感觉不少兴趣，不少神秘，所以从他们的立场看，这种相关的看法是很有一些根据的。 对于大小便的兴趣，虽然以童年时期为最大，但也往往可以维待到春机萌发期以后，女人尤其如此，一直要到性的兴趣发展到相当程度以后，才渐渐消灭。 一旦事过境迁，一个青年追想起来，有时还不免觉得有几分难乎为情。在成年人的性冲动中，也偶然或可以找到这种兴趣的成分，这大概是由于在童年时期，这种兴趣曾经受过抑制。抑制的结果，不但使它们不能消失，反而在潜意识里遗存而成为健全的心理生活的障碍；至此，弗洛伊德的观点就可以有地位了。不过在春机萌发期以前，这种兴趣不如看作正常的而不是病态的；儿童的心理与原始人的心理确有几分相象，而在原始的神话及民俗里，排泄的功用也是极关重要。我们不妨把这些兴趣看作正常发展的一个阶段。即或维持到成人的年龄，这些兴趣普通也总留存在心理的背景之中，轻易不显露出来；这种留寓的程度是有深浅的，但不论深浅如何，至少就瘦溺一端而论，依然可以有活动的能力，而成为性活动的含有游戏性质的一个陪衬。