Chapter 49 more respect, more trust

People love to listen to words of praise, it is the need of human self-esteem and sense of honor, it is human nature, understandable.Because of this, parents should use more encouragement and less criticism when evaluating their children's performance, and give their children full affirmation, encouragement and praise as much as possible without losing the opportunity, so that children can gain self-renewal, self-confidence and success psychologically. Family education is a kind of knowledge.When children grow up, due to age restrictions and ability limitations, when they try to learn to do something in order to get the affirmation and praise of their parents, although they have good motives, they often do things badly.At this time, learn to replace criticism with praise.The famous psychologist Jess Rale once said: "Praise is like sunlight to warm the human soul. Without it, we cannot grow and bloom. But most of us are just good at avoiding other people's praise." Criticism, but we ourselves are stingy to give the warm sunshine of approval to others.” Facts have proved that when there is less criticism and more encouragement and praise, the good things people do will increase, and the bad things will decrease.

Song Lei's daughter, Meimei, is just 6 years old. She is very sensible and considerate.One day, after get off work, Song Lei leaned tiredly on the sofa, not wanting to move at all. The sensible Meimei walked over and said, "I'll pour water for Dad", and then went into the back room.Suddenly there was a "bang", and the sound of the thermos bottle being smashed came from the back room.Song Lei hurried over to take a look. Fortunately, Xiao Meimei was safe and sound, but she was petrified, waiting for her father's "comment".Song Lei didn't scold the child, but gently hugged Xiao Meimei and comforted him: "Good girl, fortunately you didn't get burned. You are still weak now, how can you carry such a heavy thermos bottle, but my little girl is really filial, knowing Pour water for dad, you will be a filial daughter when you grow up." Meimei heard that her father didn't criticize her for doing bad things, but praised her for her filial piety, and said happily: "Dad, when I grow up, I will be a good filial daughter. you."

Song Lei's handling of this matter was based on understanding the child's weakness, and he bypassed it to praise his daughter's filial piety. At the same time, he also explained the reason why the child did things badly, and solved the matter skillfully, which made the father and daughter more harmonious. relation.If a child does something wrong, it is obviously a clumsy way to beat or scold a child regardless of right and wrong. Liu Yuzhen was still an unwelcome dull student in the third grade, who often played truant and told lies.Once the report card was handed out, it was the 35th, and she pasted it with a note in the toilet and then used ink to change it to the 5th.Her father was waiting in the living room for the children to hand in their report cards. The two older sisters always came first and second, and when she handed in the report card with trembling hands, she knew very well that everyone present knew that she was It's a fake, and it's strange that no one has discovered it.The two sisters stood obediently by the side without saying a word, and the father slowly said in a very peaceful tone: "Why did the teacher make the report card so dirty? You can ask the teacher tomorrow and tell me, okay?" Liu Yuzhen She later recalled that she was so grateful to her sister and her father that she willingly confessed everything to him the next night.

Liu Yuzhen’s father, if he didn’t understand the child’s “hypocrisy and fraud”, but would be furious and reprimand his daughter in public; or a thought-provoking and meaningful counseling might also have a certain educational effect , but after all, it deeply hurt the self-esteem of the child, and after all, he could not reap the sweet fruits of education.Liu Yuzhen's father knew that "the desire to be respected and trusted is the deepest impulse of human nature."It is not difficult to infer that little Liu Yuzhen will grow up healthily, and maybe he will achieve something in a certain way.

Trust and tolerance are the prescription for awakening children, a platform for introspection, and a window for introspection.Parents' tolerance and trust give children love and encouragement.The father understands that if he is reprimanded because of his "negligence", the child's interest may be suppressed again and again, the will may be smoothed again and again, and the passion may be extinguished again and again.Education should allow children to feel the dignity of life and the success and joy of learning.Make children full of fantasies about the future and full of love for life.Absolutely should not bring the record of fiasco, painful experience, gray memory to the child.