Chapter 39 Chapter 20 I am a foot fetishist

Rose is a frequent visitor to the clinic, and he has seen three psychologists before me.When he turned it over to me, his former therapist told me that Rose suffered from an uncommon disorder: foot fetishism.Rose is a man, but he sometimes dresses himself up as a woman, and his name "Rose" is also both male and female.I thought this was a very interesting case, so I happily accepted it. Rose was a little shy when he first met me, but he was in a happy mood, and we quickly got rid of the restraint we had when we first met.He told me some interesting dreams, including one in which he turned into a little mouse and crawled on top of his ex-psychiatrist.I asked him what he thought of this dream, but he didn't answer my question and told me another similar dream.

"In one bathroom, I climbed on a man's head. When he saw me on top of him, he suddenly slammed his head into the mirror. The mirror shattered and the blood flowed all over the place. I was injured too, but Compared with that man, I was only slightly injured." "What does this dream mean?" I still dragged the topic back. "I'm a survivor of abuse from parents, teachers, and authorities. Those in authority above me piss me off, so I'm going to make a little trouble for them." Rose puts her smile back when she says this . "You were abused?"

"Yes, I didn't get the love I deserved from my parents; I got contemptuous belittling from my teachers; I felt inaccessible from women because I didn't have much interest in women; Always misunderstood." "Your relationships with almost everyone are fragile." "Yes, all of them, but I have a special emotional connection to men." "I know what that is." "You already know!" Rose suddenly showed a very shy expression, and he glanced at my feet out of the corner of his eyes.I usually wear my sandals without socks in the summer, but knowing Rose's foot fetish, I wore socks on that day.

Rose quickly averted his eyes from my socked feet.He said: "My habit has caused me a lot of trouble. I took my camera and went to the streets and parks every night from 2 am to 4 am to find those bare feet. When I found them, I tried to secretly take them. , when faced with the dirty feet of those homeless people, I often feel an irresistible sexual urge, and I even want to cum on those feet." "A man's feet are your sex object, so what about a woman's feet?" I asked. "I'm not interested in women's feet, I only love men's feet." Rose glanced at my feet again, and continued: "Actually, I also know the source of my hobby. When I was young, our whole family Sleeping on a big bed. I slept right next to my father's feet, and I fell asleep holding my father's feet every night. Later, I started masturbating next to my father's feet."

"How old were you then?" I asked. "Probably about 5 years old." A 5-year-old boy's love for his father's feet is a weird thing in common sense, but it fits Freud's theory of child sexual development.Freud believes that when a child is about 5 years old, the child's sexual development enters the "genital stage", and the child's "libido" (sexual psychological energy) naturally invests in the parts related to the genitals.Because Rose did not get the love (intimate emotional bond) he deserved in normal life, he projects his libido onto his father's feet.Because he had an "intimate emotional connection" with his father's feet every night, his father's feet became the most reliable and stable object of his libido projection, and his father's feet became a symbol of love.Because Ruosi has never received normal love in real life, his betting on love has always been fixed on the feet of men.

"You love men's feet, so what's your sexual orientation?" I asked. "I love men and women, but what I love most are men's feet, but the most difficult thing to get is a man's feet. In order to get a man's feet, I often put myself in a very dangerous situation, or pay a lot of money cost." "A very dangerous situation and a great price?" I repeated him. "Yes. I go to the park to take pictures every night. It is a very dangerous thing. In that quiet night, the sound of the camera shutter and the stimulation of the flash light are very obvious. Men in bars asked to see their feet, and they offered blowjobs in exchange."

"Do you want to?" "Yes? I'm only interested in men's feet, not their penises." "But in order to get a man's foot, you still have to compromise." Ruosi didn't respond to my words, but just sighed and said, "A man's feet." It was obvious that Rose was afflicted by his foot fetish.I want to help him get rid of his depression from another angle. "Rose, in my opinion, your foot fetish is actually not a big deal. Have you ever thought that if you go to learn massage, you can be with men's feet every day, which not only satisfies you The secret desire can still have income."

The purpose of my proposal was to make Rose relax about his question, but Rose did not respond to my kind proposal.So I continued: "What's the big deal about liking to look at men's feet." Unexpectedly, Rose replied immediately: "It's not easy. In my life, no man has ever let me look at them." feet." "I can." I replied without thinking. "Okay, you can take it off for me now." "Taking off is not a problem, the problem is whether taking off can achieve the purpose of treatment." I explained. "I knew you wouldn't take it off. Many men have told me that taking it off is not a problem, but when they were asked to take it off, they flinched." I could see the disappointment in Rose's eyes.

"If the time is right, I'll show you." Using the word "off" with an obscure meaning gave me a sense of absurdity. When we met for the third time, I resumed the habit of not wearing socks.When Rose saw me, his face became very strange, and I knew it must be my bare feet.So I said straight to the point: "I don't wear socks on purpose today, I want you to break the taboo on men's feet." "Then take off your shoes too." Ruosi's attitude was a bit aggressive, and I could understand him. "What I want you to understand is that a man's feet are just feet. There's nothing mysterious about that. It's all the result of misbetting your sexual energy. If you can really realize that you're not interested in a man's feet Your hobby is just an illusion created by yourself, then, facing the reality, you should be able to wake up." After that, I took half of my right foot out of the shoe.Ruosi's expression shook slightly, and his breathing was a little short, but he was still able to control himself well.

"You can see now that a man's foot is just a foot, mainly composed of bones and muscles, which has little to do with sex. There is no mystery about this foot. It is your fantasy that mystifies the foot . " As I said that, I pulled my feet out completely, and Ruosi swallowed, but he was still very calm.A minute or two means decades of wasted time to Ruosi. Later, Rose told me frankly that miraculous changes really happened.He seemed to suddenly understand that a man's feet were just feet.He even recalled what my feet looked like and tried to masturbate, but he was unsuccessful because the attraction of the feet seemed to suddenly disappear.Although I still wore sandals on my bare feet, Rose didn't suggest that I take them off again.

"You know, in the past I had a male therapist who kept telling me that it was no problem for him to take his shoes off, but when I forced him to take them off, he flinched and that hurt me a lot. Big. If my psychiatrist didn't dare take off my shoes in front of me, of course I would think my own problems were beyond repair. Since you last took off your shoes, a stone has been dropped from my heart." Human psychology is so wonderful. After being stuck in a very simple matter, you can't get rid of it for so many years.Just like an impenetrable iron door, if you find the key, it is not difficult to open it.Rose gets close to men because of his foot fetish, but he denies being purely gay.He told me a funny thing, that whenever he dolled himself up to look like a woman, the gay guys hated him for doing it.They believed that Rose's coquettish dress would deepen the society's prejudice against homosexuals. "Gays nowadays want to normalize themselves in their daily lives, preferably so that people don't see that they are gay at all. Only on gay-specific festivals, they will try their best to dress themselves up." Rose In fact, he can be called bisexual. He walks between the two sexes. His experience of homosexuality is the valuable information I want to know. her lover, girlfriend and wife The title of this section is written like this, some people will think that I made a mistake, and the "she" should be "he".To be honest, when I first heard my patients say this to me, I didn't react for a moment.Laura is an able-bodied woman whose main psychological problem is her tangled triangle with her boyfriend and her husband.But when Laura told me about her ex-girlfriend, I didn't turn the corner for a moment.