Chapter 24 Section 5 I Experienced the Triple "Realm" of Drugs

Drugs are not a good thing, I don't want to have anything to do with drugs, but my first experience with drugs was a horror story.That was in 1994, when I was in Shanghai.I took a long-distance bus from my hometown Huangyan back to Shanghai. It was already two o'clock in the morning when I arrived in Shanghai. Naturally, I took a taxi back to East China Normal University.There were two people in the front seat of the car. I asked why, and the driver said it was "safety in the middle of the night", which I thought was reasonable.After the car got on the road, the driver and I started bragging. He kept asking me about gangsters, Huangyan Ax Gang and so on.To be honest, I have never heard of the Ax Gang in Huangyan, and now hearing the driver talk about it, I feel as if I have returned to old Shanghai.While I was talking nonsense with the driver, the other guy in the front seat didn't say anything, and I didn't take it seriously.

The driver started talking about drugs with me again.Relying on my knowledge of abnormal psychology, I responded to the driver's drug topic, and the driver was amazed at my knowledge of drugs.He began to ask me about my background, and wanted to know why I knew so much about drugs, so I went ahead and said that I had a cooperative research relationship with the police on drug rehabilitation (in fact, I didn't, anyway, I was bragging in the middle of the night), and I didn't expect my unintentional big bull to talk about it. An astonishing inside story.The driver told me he was an addict, had been in rehab, and now ran a debt collection agency.Judging from his tone, of course it is a debt collection company with a gangster background.I studied psychology, and I naturally developed a set of skills in observing words and emotions.Hearing that the driver was talking evil, although he didn't know his real purpose, he was still on guard.Between one-to-one answers, an atmosphere of intimacy is deliberately created.My hunch was finally confirmed when the driver suddenly smiled at me and said, "My friend, you're lucky tonight."

"Good luck?" I heard the chill in the words. "Yes, our brothers originally wanted to hijack you." hijack?Hearing this, I felt funny in my heart.Because the vast majority of the bags I brought back from Huangyan were Huangyan Tangerines. Could it be that the two tyrants are interested in my Huangyan Tangerines? "So why did you two change your mind?" Although I felt funny, the word hijacking is not a joke, it may be a matter of life and death. The driver smiled again: "Because we talked and found that you are also a friend, so we changed our minds."

At this moment, I suddenly felt the importance of the word "friends". I used my three-inch tongue to accidentally become friends with two drug addicts.These two "friends" of mine later sent me to my residence and left a pager number, saying that if you need their help, you can contact them.Although these two new friends of mine expressed their willingness to do anything for me, I still have lingering fears in my heart, and I dare not accept the kindness again. After arriving in the United States, I have been with drug addicts for a long time, and I know that once drug addiction comes up, drug addicts can ignore everything.For drugs, robbing people, robbing things, prostitution, anything is possible.I've learned a lot about drugs, but I still have no experience with what drugs feel like.So I wondered if I could have a taste of drugs too?I know it's okay to try it, but the question is, will you be addicted to it?Wouldn't it be a joke if I was self-defeating and became a prisoner of drugs.

To taste or not to taste, I thought about it for several days.I think since my purpose is to understand drugs and better help drug addicts, what is there to be afraid of?So I asked an American friend of mine to help me get some marijuana, the mildest of all drugs.In American colleges, 75 percent of undergraduates have ever smoked marijuana.Cannabis is the leaf of a tobacco-like plant that was originally used by Native American Indians as a refreshing herb. A few days later, my American friend brought a large glass cylinder.The cylinder contains water, and a long pipe protrudes from the bottom of the cylinder. At the end of the long pipe is a copper spout for putting marijuana.Put the marijuana leaf on the copper mouth and light it, then put your mouth on the mouth of the glass cylinder and inhale vigorously, and the marijuana smoke will be sucked up through the water at the bottom of the cylinder.When I took the first sip, I didn't feel anything, and I foolishly thought that I was born with immunity.So I took another sip, but I still didn't feel anything. After taking the third sip, I closed my eyes and wanted to experience it carefully.Only a few minutes later, the world in front of my eyes began to be in a trance, and this trance gradually dissipated, and the distinction between the surrounding objects became blurred.At this time, the world in my eyes suddenly has a strange feature, as if everything is just an existence formed by an external painted skin, and its core is a kind of thing, even if the difference between a person and an inanimate object is the same. all gone.All laws are unified, the experience of the ancients after epiphany is naturally presented in the smoke of marijuana.But what is the meaning and value of this sense of unity?My somewhat inflexible mind began to ponder this question.

"If people are no different from other non-living things, is this a transcendent point of view, or is it a depreciation of life itself?" I asked myself at that moment.I could easily answer this question if I wasn't in that drugged state, but I want to know what it's really like to be in a drugged state. "Who cares?" A clear voice rose from the bottom of my heart.By the way, the answer I want to get naturally appeared, a drug addict doesn't care about anything at the moment of taking drugs.Because there is no difference between the drug addict and all the surrounding objects. The drug addict is also an object, at most a moving object.Since everything is an object, morality, shame, and dignity all lose their meaning at that moment.Drugs create a "nothing matters" psychological space for people.

I just took 3 puffs of weed, but those 3 puffs were far more powerful than I could have imagined. The feeling of "unity of all things" is only the first step. Soon, I entered the weird state of "separation of human voice".Throughout the process, I kept talking to my friend.But I found that the words I said were floating in the air like soap bubbles. When a soap bubble floated away from my mouth, I couldn't be sure whether I had said that sentence.I seem to need to grab the soap bubble with my hands, and then bring it back and hold it in front of my eyes to prove that I really said that.What is the significance of this strange feeling?I was quickly explained: "A man is not responsible for what he says."

Human beings are the only animals that use language among all higher organisms on the earth, and all human civilizations are built on language carriers.If people do not have to be responsible for their language, they will naturally get rid of the burden and confusion caused by language.But at the same time, human dignity and leadership in the world of life have also been lost. When vocal separation gets worse, drug addicts can talk nonsense.And what does bullshit mean?Although my head was swollen at that time, I still tried to stay aware, and I became more aware of the meaning of the vocal separation phenomenon, "I am not responsible for what I say, so I can lie as much as I want."

The toxicity of the marijuana continued to kick in and I felt like I was sinking to the bottom of the water.Every time I go down, I try to get my head out of the water to prove that I want to be alive.But the effort to live is so painful and difficult, and the state of sinking is so natural every time.Whether to struggle to live or lazily drown, at the moment of taking drugs, I suddenly found that lazily drowning is actually easier and more comfortable than struggling to live.Facing the heavy pressure of real life, how many people want to escape, but how many people are afraid to face the real fear of death.Drugs strangely create the state in which the addict enjoys death, revels in it, and does not have to face the trials of real life.

I only took 3 puffs of marijuana, but I experienced the 3 layers of psychological state caused by drugs: indifferent state, nonsense speech state, and addicted to death state.The core of these three states is to give up responsibility for life, and drugs are only catalysts and intensifiers of this negative attitude towards life.For an individual who loves life, drugs are no longer necessary. After I smoked that marijuana, I didn't have any urge to take drugs.My friend asked if I needed to try other drugs?Enough is enough, I replied, and I'm glad I got what I wanted in this experience.But the power of marijuana is beyond my imagination.Judging from the status of marijuana among drugs, it is only the mildest drug.Even this mildest drug has almost overwhelmed me, let alone other drugs?Besides, if I were younger, or if I didn't study psychology, it's really hard to say that I wouldn't become a prisoner of drugs.