Chapter 19 Section 18 The Moral Confusion and Depravity of Society

"Rape?" I repeated the word. "Yes, he raped me, and not only did he rape me, he also raped my sisters. One time when I accidentally caught him raping my sister, he threatened me that if I told anyone, he would kill me Strangled to death. My dad was like a giant invincible in my eyes when I was young. Of course I dare not tell anyone, but he still raped me." Listening to Gabe talking about the incest incidents in his family, I felt the moral confusion and depravity of American society.It is almost unimaginable in China that a father rapes a son, but here, the raped son speaks slowly, without any heart-rending emotional reactions, and this beast father actually has 6 daughters.

"I believe he raped all my sisters, but it was kept under the covers until I had an accident with my daughter. I couldn't bear to make it public at home, but none of my sisters would admit it, Of course I understand their attitude. After I uncovered this, my parents finally separated. But I was still angry, and my mother advised me that he had cancer and God had punished him." "Although you hate your father so much, you turned yourself into your father when you got drunk. Your father is also an alcoholic." I hope Gabby can see that he is influenced by his father. "Yes, my father was an alcoholic and I became one too. My father raped his child and I touched my daughter when I was drunk. I hated him but I became him and it made me hate him even more."

"This is called 'identification' in psychoanalysis. Although your father is a villain, in your young mind he is a strong man, a giant. You long to have the power your father possessed, Even though that's an evil force." I gave Gabe a little psychoanalytic explanation in order to give him insight into his own unconscious behavior. Gabe naturally agrees with me, because he has always regarded this as the only reason for his mistakes.But I know that the inner world of human beings is very complicated, and any single explanation may be biased.During the third session of psychotherapy, Gabe said as soon as he sat down: "I have nothing to talk about today. I feel that everything is fine. I know my mistakes, admit them, and correct them. I also know the root of my problems. As for Others, I really don't know what else to talk about."

"Do you really think you know yourself well? People's inner world is very complicated, and superficial understanding sometimes covers up inner problems. If you don't understand yourself deeply and comprehensively, then one day, you will make the same mistake Wrong." According to classical psychoanalysis, the patient's state of being speechless is often an internal resistance.If you break through this layer of resistance, you can greatly improve your self-knowledge. "Well, what did I say?" Gabby smiled at me. "Tell me why you didn't choose to marry your woman." I gave him a direction.

"Both my women wanted to control me, and I was always afraid of falling into their bondage, but I couldn't leave them completely because I was responsible for my children." "They control you?" "Yeah, they control me, I'm a softie. They keep calling me whenever I want to leave, they eat my feelings." "Devour, you used the word devour." "Yes, devouring, they eat my mind, they chew my feelings, they devour me." Gabe emphasized the state of devouring, but he obviously didn't realize the deep meaning of devouring. "Engulfment is a very interesting word, because most people seldom use this word to express the degree of emotional control. Have you ever thought about why you chose to use the word engulfment?" I emphasize this point because I My intuition felt the deep meaning of this word in Gabby's life.

"When you said that, I suddenly remembered my childhood state. When I was 9 years old, I was still sleeping with a pacifier. Later, my mother figured out a way to put a dead mouse next to my pacifier. That time it freaked me out. I haven't slept with a pacifier since." "Why are you still using a pacifier when you're 9?" "I don't know, I just like it." Even though Gabe got here, he still didn't see the inner meaning of his childish behavior.But he went on to say: "My parents have great conflicts. My mother treats me very well, and I am extremely dependent on my mother. If my mother leaves me for a few hours, I will cry. Every time this happens, my father will Punish me harder."

"Don't you think your father's punishment has some special meaning?" "I think my dad was jealous of my close relationship with my mum. And I was still using a pacifier until I was 9 because I wanted to look stupid in front of my dad and act like I wasn't grown up." Add Bay finally spoke out about the source of his childhood psychological conflicts. I started with the word "swallow" at the beginning of Gabe, and traced back to his childhood complex, which proved the natural relationship between alcoholics and lip desire.When the psychoanalysis reached this stage, Gabe seemed to have a sense of enlightenment.He said: "Now I found out that my mother was abusing me too. She used her tenderness to control me and abused me, preventing me from growing up truly and naturally; she used her tenderness to trap me in my father's abuse, Her apparent protection of me did not protect me from my father's abuse."

"Do you recall what you said at the beginning, that your women control you with their tenderness and keep you in emotional bondage. But you cannot leave them because of the responsibility you have for your children, which is the same as How similar are your evaluations of your mother now. So, you have unconsciously transplanted your complicated feelings for your mother to your woman in your life. Because you and your mother cannot get married, so, you And you cannot marry your women." "I completely agree with your explanation. This psychotherapy is really wonderful. At the beginning, I had nothing to say, but in fact, in the background of that nothing to talk about, countless contents and meanings have been suppressed below. gone."