Chapter 11 Chapter Eleven Thirteen Common Postures

This is the pose women hate most at work For many seemingly simple body language in life, people seldom consciously think about the real meaning.For example, when two people hug each other, they will pat each other on the back before releasing their arms, and they will perform the symbolic kissing motion - making a kissing sound next to the other's cheek.In the eyes of most bystanders, these body languages ​​are tacitly regarded as an expression of intimacy and friendliness.But in fact, professional wrestlers also use the pat on the back of their opponents during matches-to remind opponents to end the embrace position in order to break the deadlock.If you're meeting someone you don't know well with a group of friends, and everyone else is hugging that person so enthusiastically that you have to follow suit, chances are you'll reach out and lightly kiss that person before you even hug that person. Pat each other on the back.Symbolic kissing (including the sound of kissing accompanied by this action) is actually a way for people to replace real kisses when they don't want to kiss each other.

What we will explore in this chapter covers some of the most common head postures and body language in dealing with people in everyday life. In most cultures, nodding is used to express affirmation or approval.This action belongs to Ju Many people use the way of patting each other's shoulders to break the deadlock-that is, to escape the sincere and suffocating hug.The tighter the woman in the picture hugs the man, the faster the man will slap the woman on the shoulder Simplified form of bowing - as if a person is about to bow, but the movement stops abruptly only at the head, and finally the gesture of bowing is symbolically indicated by a nod.The gesture of bowing implies submission, so the act of nodding also shows that we agree with another person's point of view.Studies have shown that those who are congenitally deaf or blind also use nodding to express affirmation and approval.In this light, it is likely that people are naturally inclined to use this gesture to express a submissive attitude.

If the listener nods to the speaker every once in a while—it’s advisable to nod three times each time he makes this motion—it will stimulate the speaker’s desire to express and make him three to four times more talkative than usual. times.In India, the side to side movement of the head, i.e. shaking the head, is used to express affirmation and approval.This strange custom is very confusing to Westerners and Europeans, because in their culture, this gesture is generally used to express a non-committal attitude.And in Japan, as we said before, nodding doesn't necessarily mean "yes, I agree with you", it often just means "yes, I heard what you said".

The action of nodding is derived from the gesture of bowing and is used to express an attitude of submission. In Arab countries, a single head up gesture is used to express a negative attitude.Bulgarians, on the other hand, express a positive attitude by shaking the head, which is usually a negative gesture. Most people never realize the power of the nod, and in fact, with the right technique, the nod can be quite a persuasive tool.Studies have shown that if the listener nods to the speaker at regular intervals—three nods per time—it stimulates the speaker’s desire to express and makes him more talkative than usual Three to four times.In addition, the frequency of nodding can show the patience of the listener.Slow nodding means that the listener is very interested in the content of the conversation, so when the speaker states his point of view, we should nod slowly to the other party three times to show a serious and thoughtful attitude.A quick nod is tantamount to telling the speaker that you are getting impatient, or urging the speaker to end his speech immediately so as to give you a chance to express your point of view.

The act of nodding serves two powerful functions.First of all, since body language is the unconscious external reaction of people's inner emotions, if you have a positive or affirmative attitude, you will nod frequently when you speak.Conversely, if you nod intentionally while speaking, then you will also experience positive emotions in your heart.In other words, positive emotions can trigger nodding, and nodding can trigger positive emotions.There is a two-way causal relationship between the two. The nodding action is also quite contagious.If someone nods to you, you usually nod back—even if you don't necessarily agree with what the person is saying.Therefore, the gesture of nodding is undoubtedly an excellent means to establish friendly relations, win affirmative opinions and cooperative attitudes.When talking to others, you may wish to add a rhetorical question at the end of each sentence to reaffirm your point of view.For example, "Isn't it?" "Isn't that what you think?" "Isn't that right?" or "Isn't that fair?" Nodding your head when you say it, the listener will nod along with you Action, so that he will have positive emotions in his heart, so that he is likely to agree with your opinion.

The act of nodding can inspire cooperation and an attitude of affirmation. If you ask the other person a question during a conversation, you should nod your head as you listen to the other person's answer.If you ask the other person a question during a conversation, you should nod your head as you listen to the other person's answer.After the other party has finished answering, you can continue to nod your head five times, and the frequency should be kept roughly once a second.Usually, after you nod the fourth time, the other person will start talking again, providing you with more information.And you only need to listen quietly while nodding, and at the same time put your hand on the chin, showing a serious thought, you will not have the pressure to speak, and the other party will not have the impression of an interrogator on you .While listening, the hand on the chin may make a gentle stroking motion, because, as we have said before, such gestures can stimulate the desire to speak in others.

Research shows that shaking the head often means "no".It's probably something that humans are born with, too, and evolutionary biologists believe that shaking the head is the first gesture humans learn when they're born.The theory goes that when a newborn has sucked enough milk, he resists his mother's breast by shaking his head from side to side.Similarly, when young children are full, they will also shake their heads to reject the spoons fed by their elders. The head-shaking movement originated in the swaddling period of breastfeeding. When someone agrees with you, and tries to be honest about the agreement, watch him shake his head as he speaks.If a person shakes his head and says, "I really agree with you," or "That sounds like a great idea," or "We'd love to work together," it doesn't matter how sincere his voice sounds. , Shaking his head reflected his inner negative attitude.So, if you're smart enough, you'd better keep an eye out.

If a man says "I love you" while shaking his head, no woman will believe his confession.Bill Clinton said a "famous quote" at the scene of the Monica Lewinsky sex scandal trial: "I have no sexual relationship with this woman." When the wise Mr. Clinton said this, he did not Make a head shaking motion. Natural head position 1. Head up There are three main types of basic head poses.The first is looking up, which is often done when people are neutral about the content of the conversation.Often, the head-up gesture is maintained as the conversation continues, with people nodding slightly now and then.Moreover, the gesture of touching the cheek with the hand is often accompanied by the gesture of raising the head, showing an attitude of serious thinking.

Margaret Thatcher showed her rebellious personality with a high chin Arrogant attitude.At the same time, the chin protrudes outwards, which shows a strong, fearless or arrogant attitude.This pose allows people to deliberately expose their larynx and allow their gaze to be at a higher level.This allows you to look down on others with a strong attitude.In fact, it's high levels of testosterone that create a wide jaw, which is why a protruding chin is often associated with a sense of majesty and aggression. 2. Head Tilt Tilting the head to one side is a sign of submissiveness, as this pose not only exposes the throat and neck, but also makes the person appear weaker and less aggressive.This position most likely arose from the baby's resting of the head against the parent's shoulders and chest.Most people, especially women, seem to unknowingly read the submissive and nonthreatening connotation conveyed by this gesture.

The tilted head position exposes a vulnerable neck and also makes people appear weaker and tame. Like animals (especially dogs), humans tend to tilt their heads when they are interested in something. side.Charles Darwin was one of the first scientists to discover this phenomenon.Women often use this gesture to express their interest in a man they like, because they understand that a woman who doesn't feel threatened and who seems very submissive is very attractive to most men. Tilting the head to expose the fragile neck, the meaning of this body language seems to be intuitive to most people. We have studied paintings from the past two hundred years, and the results show that the female figure with the head tilted in the paintings It is three times as many as the male star with the head tilted. Similarly, the female star with the head tilted in the advertisement is three times as the male star with the head tilted.This shows that the submissive meaning implied by the exposed neck is already well understood by most people just by intuition.Therefore, when women fight men in business negotiations, they must always keep their heads upright.

When presenting a report or giving a speech at a meeting, you should search the audience for this head tilt.If you see someone in the audience tilt their heads, lean forward, and make a thoughtful hand-to-cheek gesture, then you can be sure that your speech is quite persuasive.And when you listen to other people's speeches, you may wish to tilt your head and nod frequently to the speaker, so that the speaker will have a sense of trust in you, because in his view you appear to be non-aggressive.When you are listening to other people's speeches, you may wish to tilt your head and nod frequently to the speaker, so that the speaker will have a sense of trust in you, because you appear to him to be non-aggressive. 3. Bow your head The action of lowering the chin indicates a negative, cautious or aggressive attitude.Normally, people tend to form critical opinions when they keep their heads down, so as long as the person in front of you is unwilling to lift their head up or tilt it to one side, then you're going to have to grapple with this tricky issue.Professional speakers and trainers often encounter this dilemma: the audience is sitting with their heads bowed in their chairs to show disapproval or frustration, arms folded over their chests. Experienced conference speakers will take some measures before speaking, so that the audience in the audience can integrate and participate in the topics of the conference.The main purpose of doing this is to make the audience look up, thus evoking a positive and engaged attitude.If the speaker's strategy is right, the audience will follow with a head tilt. The British have a very special gesture when greeting people, that is to turn their heads.This pose involves turning the head to one side while bowing it.The head-turning greeting originated in the Middle Ages, when gentlemen took off their hats when they met friends; the gesture evolved into touching their hats while bowing their heads.Over time, modern Britons have simplified this gesture further to simply turning their heads while saluting or simply touching their foreheads in greeting. The posture of bowing the head and back, trying to make yourself appear smaller so as not to disturb others shrugging upwards, while keeping the head down and tucked between the shoulders, this posture can protect the delicate neck and throat from attack.This is usually done when people suddenly hear a loud bang behind them, or fear that something will fall on them.If you make such a gesture in a personal communication or a business negotiation, it means humbly apologizing to others.So, if you want to show a confident look, you should never bow your head and shrug your shoulders, it will only detract from your image. If we pass by a group of people who are chatting enthusiastically, looking at the scenery, or listening to the leader's speech intently, in order not to disturb them, we usually hunched our shoulders while passing, trying to make ourselves appear Smaller and less noticeable. This posture is bowing the head and arching the back.Subordinates often adopt this posture when approaching their superiors.Such a subtle gesture can reveal the status and power relationship between the two.This posture is bowing the head and arching the back.Subordinates often adopt this posture when approaching their superiors.Such a subtle gesture can reveal the status and power relationship between the two. If a person has objections to other people's views or attitudes, but is unwilling to speak out, then he is likely to have personal reservations, but is unwilling to speak out. He may use certain gestures to express his feelings. feel.Perhaps these body language seems to have nothing to do with the content of the conversation, but in fact, it just reveals the reserved attitude of the person involved.Picking fluff off one's sleeves that doesn't really exist is one such body language.The person who pretends to be picking fluff usually lowers his eyes, keeps a certain distance from other people, and seems to be doing insignificant small movements indifferently.Picking fluff off one's sleeves that doesn't really exist is one such body language.The person who pretends to be picking fluff usually lowers his eyes, keeps a certain distance from other people, and seems to be doing insignificant small movements indifferently.And such small gestures are the signals usually used to express disapproval.No matter how verbally he expresses his agreement, the gesture betrays what's on his mind: he doesn't really agree with the other person's point of view. In this case, you can open your palm to the friend who is picking the fluff, and ask him sincerely, "What do you think?" or, "I feel that you have different opinions on this issue, please let me know." What do you think?" Then, lay your back against the chair, stretch your arms, place your palms in front of your body, and wait quietly for his answer.If he still insists that he has no objection, but continues to pretend to pluck the fluff on his sleeve, then you need to use a more direct method to learn what is really hidden in his heart. Elbows raised and pointed to the outside of the body, showing a strong image at the ready; elbows bent inward and the head tilted, showing a meek and weak image. When fighting or courting, in order to make their body appear stronger, Birds flutter their feathers, fish inhale large amounts of water to inflate their bodies, and cats and dogs try to make their fur stand on end.As for humans who are not rich in body hair, when they feel fear or anger, they can no longer make their bodies look more stalwart by erecting their hair like the ancient primitive people did.When we talk about horror movies, we often describe our feelings like, "This movie scared the hairs on my neck"; when we are annoyed by others, we say, "He made the hairs on my neck so angry." Stand up"; if we fall in love with someone at first sight, we will be covered with "goosebumps" like an electric shock.All these physiological phenomena are unconscious mechanical responses made by human beings in order to make their bodies appear stronger in specific situations.The generation of these various physiological reactions should be attributed to the arrector pili muscles around the pores of the skin.Even though we don't have abundant body hair, in situations of fear, anger, or courtship, the arrector pili muscles tense and contract, trying to make the non-existent fur stand on end.However, modern people have created a posture that can make the body appear more stalwart-the posture with hands on hips. Different people perform the hands-on-hips gesture on different occasions.For example, when a child pleads with a parent, when an athlete waits for a fight to start, when a boxer looks forward to the next bout, and so on.When a man's territory is invaded by other men, they will also use this posture to silently challenge the intruder.On all occasions, the akimbo gesture is a universal body gesture that signals readiness to strike.The arms-on-hips movement is a universal body gesture that signals readiness to strike.The akimbo posture allows us to occupy more space, while the protruding elbows are like weapons, which can deter others and prevent others from approaching or passing through their territory.This stance shows readiness for battle and is often used by cowboys in shootouts.Even a single arm on the hip can still send a very obvious message of aggression, especially when the bent elbow is pointed at the target of the attack.Although the gesture is used around the world, the message of annoyance and rage is stronger in the Philippines and Malaysia. The reason why this "ready" posture can show that the person is ready to attack at any time is because the action of putting hands on hips can make the person's whole body shrouded in a subtle aggressive atmosphere.This action is also called the pose of a successful person, because it shows that the person involved is determined to achieve the established goal, or is prepared for something.Men often put their hands on their hips to women to show their masculine self-confidence. The akimbo position can make you look bigger and more prominent because you take up more space. Fashion models put their hands on their hips in order to better show the style of clothing. When we see a person with his hands on his hips, we should consider the specific situation and his body language before that, so as to ensure We make accurate judgments about his attitude.For example, did he unbutton his coat before he put his hands on his hips?Did he bring the hem of his clothes to his hips when he akimbo?Or was his clothes tightly buttoned when he made this gesture?If the hands are akimbo when the clothes are tightly buttoned, the attitude shown by this gesture is mainly a sense of frustration; conversely, if the clothes are open, he also pulls the hem of the clothes when he is akimbo. Buttocks, then this is clearly provocative attitude, because he completely exposed his front chest, in order to show that he is not afraid of mentality.If he stands tall with his feet evenly spaced apart, or with his hands akimbo clenched into fists, the aggression conveyed by his body language will be even stronger.Professional fashion models often use this aggressive "ready" stance when presenting clothes, in order to impress the audience with this cowboy posture-his finger is pointing at the part he hopes to evoke. The impression that others notice: The clothes they wear are designed for fashionable, confident and avant-garde women.Sometimes the models just put one hand on their hips and other poses with the other.Generally speaking, the purpose of doing this is to attract the attention of the audience, and to emphasize one's slender waist and round buttocks through the posture of bending the hips, and this part is the embodiment of female reproductive ability.Men and women in love often make hands on hips, which is also to win the attention of their lovers. Tucking your thumbs in your belt or in your trouser pockets to accentuate the male genital area is a gesture that many men use to convey a sexually aggressive attitude.In western movies, the most powerful sharpshooters usually use this posture to show their masculinity to the audience. feminist women This pose is also nicknamed the favorite of the "man with too long thumb". In this pose, the arms are still on the waist, and the palm is like a center pointer, emphasizing the existence of the crotch to others. Men use this gesture to mark their territory or to show other men how brave they are.Men use this gesture to mark their territory or to show other men how brave they are.Chimpanzees do this too, but without the aid of a belt or pants. This cowboy stance is about saying "I'm a man—I'm in control," and for that reason, it's especially popular among men when they're pacing.If a man makes such a gesture when talking to a woman, his pupils dilate, and the toe of one foot points to the woman in front of him, then this woman must be able to see through the man's thoughts at a glance.For most men, this is a particularly revealing gesture, because they often inadvertently tell women what they are thinking through body language.In general, the Western Cowboy pose is primarily performed by men; however, it is occasionally performed by women in jeans and overalls.And some feminist-minded women who take on each other's competitiveness, even in a suit or skirt, might tuck a thumb or two into a belt or pocket. The two men on the right are secretly eyeing each other in a stark pose with their hands on their hips and their thumbs tucked into their belts.Considering that they are standing at a relatively large angle to each other, and the lower bodies of both parties appear to be relaxed, it is reasonable to assume that the two men are only inadvertently weighing each other, but it is unlikely that a face-to-face conflict will arise. The conversation between them may be casual and friendly, but the hands-on-hips position certainly won't create a completely relaxed conversation atmosphere unless they can lower their arms from their waists and make head tilts and the like. The respective body language conveys a paradoxical signal of an aggressive attitude: his right hand shows an aggressive attitude, but his left tries to protect the front of his body If the two men were standing parallel to each other, directly facing each other, with their feet firmly planted on the ground and their legs spread apart, there was a good chance that a fight would ensue between them.If the two men were standing parallel to each other, directly facing each other, with their feet firmly planted on the ground and their legs spread apart, there was a good chance that a fight would ensue between them. Although Adolf Hitler used his right hand on his hip to show his majesty in the propaganda poster, he still couldn't help putting his left hand in front of his body in an attempt to protect his only testicle. The legs-spread position is a purely male position and is also used by chimpanzees when they are trying to assert their authority over the group.The orangutans all spread their legs wide apart, and whoever occupies the largest area is considered the most dominant leader.Such a contest can save the orangutans from the pain of hand-to-hand combat.Likewise, men are fighting for status when they perform this pose.Although most men don't realize it, the spread-legged position does send a message of power and status.If a man spreads his legs, other men will follow suit in order to maintain their status.However, if a man does this gesture in front of women, it will have a very bad effect, especially in business situations, because it is impossible for women to imitate this gesture. If a man makes a spread-legged position in a business setting, the woman next to him will feel intimidated. We have to tell men very clearly: keep your legs together in business meetings.The conference tapes we filmed showed that when the man spread his legs apart, many women immediately crossed their arms or legs.This body position immediately puts women on the defensive.So, we have to tell men very clearly: keep your legs together in business meetings.If you are a woman and you encounter men who are keen to show their crotch on a regular basis, then please don't react to this man's behavior.Because as long as you don't get defensive, there's no point in showing a man's crotch.You can even tease his crotch by saying, "Bob, this little tent is so cute" or "Oh, I see your lifeblood."Such ridicule can teach him a good lesson, and if the timing is right, it can also liven up everyone's work atmosphere.put your legs on the arm of the chair This is also a rather masculine pose because in this pose, the legs are also spread apart.This gesture not only emphasizes the man's ownership of the chair, but also conveys an attitude of informality and provocation. Putting your legs on the arm of a chair can be considered an innocuous gesture when two male friends are chatting and laughing together.But what different effect would the action have had on other occasions?For example, an employee is very distressed by a personal problem and wants to ask his boss for advice.The employee sat in a chair and narrated the ins and outs. He leaned forward, put his hands on his knees, lowered his head, and spoke in a depressed tone with a low voice.His boss sat quietly and listened at first, then leaned back on the back of the chair and lifted one leg over the armrest.This change in body posture indicates a marked shift in the supervisor's attitude toward indifference or indifference.In other words, he didn't care too much about the difficulties this employee was facing, and he even thought that his time was wasted by these "old grains and rotten sesame seeds". So why was this boss so indifferent?Maybe he also thought about this employee's problem seriously, but in the end he didn't think it was a big deal, so he became indifferent.He might even tell his employees to stop thinking about it altogether, and all difficulties will disappear.In fact, his indifferent attitude continued as long as his legs rested on the arm of the chair.When the employee leaves his office, he will breathe a sigh of relief and say to himself, "Thank goodness he's gone!" Lower the arm of the chair. If you encounter such a person with his legs on the armrest of a chair in a business negotiation, it is really a rather annoying thing.If you encounter such a person with his legs on the armrest of a chair in a business negotiation, it is really a rather annoying thing.The first thing that needs to be solved at this time is to try to get this person to change his sitting posture, because as long as he keeps this sitting posture, the indifference or provocative attitude in his heart cannot be dispelled.An easy way to do this is to ask him to sit forward and show him some information; or, if you like to play a prank, tell him that his trouser seam is ripped. The person who straddles the chair wants to gain dominance and control, and at the same time, wants to use the back of the chair to protect himself Centuries ago, men used shields on the battlefield to protect themselves against the spears and clubs of their enemies.Modern man in a civilized society now also borrows whatever object is handy as a symbolic shield when he is likely to be physically or verbally attacked.This includes standing behind iron gates, doorways, fences, desks, or open car doors, and of course riding astride a chair. The back of the chair can act as a shield, which not only protects the human body, but also makes the person riding on the chair have the desire to provoke and dominate.When a man straddles a chair, his legs can be separated at a large angle, and he can make a very thorough posture of showing his crotch, thus adding a bit of machismo to the action of straddling a chair.Most people who like to straddle chairs are dominant people. When they start to get bored with the content of the conversation, they will try to control other people; and the back of the chair is used by them as a shield, which can be effective. To avoid being "attacked" by others.People who are used to riding straddle chairs generally behave quite cautiously, and they can complete the transition from normal sitting position to straddling sitting position without attracting the attention of others. One of the easiest ways for a straddle chair rider to change his position is to stand or sit behind him, as this will make him feel vulnerable and he will have to change his position.This trick works well when a group of people gather to talk, because the straddle chair has no way to hide his back, which forces him to take another sitting position. What if the person is riding astride a chair that swivels?We have to understand that it is pointless to try to reason with someone who is sitting on a "carousel" and likes to show his crotch, so the best defense must be non-verbal strategies. You can stand and express yourself, let your eyes look down on the man on the chair, and gradually move closer to his personal space.You can stand and express yourself, let your eyes look down on the man on the chair, and gradually move closer to his personal space.These tactics can break his courage, and you might even find him slipping out of his chair as he involuntarily rolls his hips back and forth. The next time a chair straddle comes to visit, make sure he sits in a chair with fixed arms so he can't adopt his favorite sitting position.When he can't straddle a chair, his next body position is likely to be the "slingshot" position with his head in his hands. "Slingshot" pose means: grim, confident, omniscient, and thinks he has the most bananas. "Slingshot" pose is a seated version of the akimbo pose, with the elbows held menacingly as in the akimbo position. Protruding outward, the only difference is that the two hands are not on the hips, but on the back of the head.Again, this is basically a male-only body position.Men usually use this posture to put pressure on other people, or deliberately create an illusion of ease and ease, so as to numb your senses and make you feel safe by mistake, so that you can step on his pre-buried bed unconsciously. good mine. The "slingshot" posture is a symbolic posture of many professions, such as accountants, lawyers, sales managers, etc.; in addition, those who feel superior to others, or have a particularly strong and confident attitude towards something, will also make this posture .If we could read minds, we would be able to interpret the thoughts in these people's heads like this: "I know all the answers", or "I have everything under control", or even "Maybe someday You can be as smart as me."Management staff often engage in the "slingshot" position; and a newly promoted male manager suddenly becomes accustomed to doing it, even though he rarely did it before he was promoted.There are also some people who think they know everything, and often use the "slingshot" posture to put pressure on others. In other words, this posture is simply the label of this kind of person. They always want everyone to know that they How knowledgeable and informative.Among other things, the gesture can serve as a signal to mark one's territory.If you are a man, you can respond effectively to his aggression simply by joining him in the "slingshot" position; because by imitating his movements, you are reestablishing equal status between you.People will use the "slingshot" posture to occupy their own specific space. 这个姿势往往会和“4字腿”坐姿或者展示胯部的姿势相结合，显示出当事人不仅自我感觉良好，而且还想要获取支配地位。根据不同的情境，你可以采取不同的策略来应对摆出这些姿势的人。比如，你可以身体前倾，摊开手掌，真诚地说，“我知道你在这方面很有自己的见解，能不能请你跟我分享一下你的想法呢？”然后重新靠在椅背上，静候他的回答。 如果男人在商务会议上做出“弹弓式”姿势，那么女人立刻就会对这个男人心生厌烦。 你也可以递给他一些资料，但不要伸到他触手可及的范围内，对他说，“你看过这些资料了吗？”这样就能迫使他身体前倾。如果你是一个男人，那么你只需要跟他一起做出“弹弓式”姿势就能有效地应对他的挑衅；因为通过模仿他的动作，你们之间又重新形成了平等的地位。但是，对于女人来说，这一招就完全不奏效，因为“弹弓式”姿势会让女人的胸部成为展示对象，从而将女人推向非常不利的地位。即使是平胸女人做出“弹弓式”姿势，在其他人眼里，不管男人还是女人，都会认为她相当具有攻击性。 “弹弓式”姿势无法成为女人的武器，即使对于平胸女人而言，也是如此。 如果你是一个女人，那么在面对摆出“弹弓式”姿势的男人时，你可以站起来和他说话。这种站立的姿势会强迫这个男人不得不改变自己的坐姿，以便能继续跟你交流。当他停止“弹弓式”姿势后，你可以重新坐下；要是他再度双手抱头，你也就再次站起来。这种方式能够温和地引导他人不要胁迫你。另一方面，如果做出这个姿势的人是你的上司，而且他正在训斥你，那么你要是不识相地跟着模仿的话，一定会让他恼羞成怒。比如，两个职位相同的同事分别做出“弹弓式”姿势，可以显示他们之间的平等地位。可淘气的男学生要是对校长做出这个姿势，那校长不发怒才怪呢。 在一个保险公司，我们发现30位男性经理中，有27位经理经常在他们的销售员或是下属面前做出“弹弓式”姿势；可一旦面对自己的上级，他们就很少做出这个姿势。相反，当和上级相处时，这些经理更可能做出的是温顺和服从的身体姿势。 准备就绪的坐姿是谈判代表最该学会辨认的姿势之一。准备就绪的坐姿是谈判代表最该学会辨认的姿势之一。举例来说，假设你为对方提出了一个建议，如果对方在听完你的陈述后做出准备就绪的坐姿，而且交谈的气氛又相当融洽，那么这个时候你可以大胆地询问对方的想法。你多半能够得到肯定的回答。 表示准备就绪的经 典坐姿 我们通过录像回放发现，在销售员向目标客户推销商品的时候，如果客户在抚摸下巴的动作（考虑如何做出决定的姿势）之后，紧接着做出准备就绪的坐姿，那么客户给予肯定回答的几率会超过一半。相反，如果在销售员给予购买意见之后，客户先是抚摸下巴，继而双臂交叉的话，这笔生意很可能就谈不成。不过，怒火中烧的人也会采取准备就绪的坐姿，只是他们所准备的是其他一些东西——把你扔到窗外去。所以，为了了解别人的真实意图，我们仍然需要结合当事人之前所传达的肢体语言，进行综合判断。 准备就绪的姿势也传达出结束会谈的愿望。表达这种愿望的肢体语言包括身体前倾，双手分别放在两个膝盖上，或者身体前倾的同时两只手抓住椅子的侧面，就像在赛跑中等待起跑的运动员一样。在你和别人交谈的过程中，只要你看到他们做出了这样的动作，那么你最好重新引导他们对你所推销的商品产生兴趣，或者尝试转换话题的方向，又或者干脆结束你们的会谈。 各就各位，预备，开始：脚踩在起跑器上——准备结束会面或谈话 这一章所探讨的肢体语言都是很容易辨识的，因为这其中大部分身体姿势的活动范围都比较大。你不仅应该理解这些肢体语言所隐含的意义，更关键的是，你应该努力丢弃以往生活习惯中那些消极的身体姿势，同时练习那些能够引导你获取积极成果的身体姿势，这样你才能更加善于交流与沟通。更关键的是，你应该努力丢弃以往生活习惯中那些消极的身体姿势，同时练习那些能够引导你获取积极成果的身体姿势，这样你才能更加善于交流与沟通。