Chapter 21 11. Truth

Dr. Cong Changmin never expected this case to develop to this point.But he recorded in his "clinical diary" that: psychologists are not omnipotent saints, just like human beings cannot interfere with certain natural processes even if they have stronger scientific and technological power.Rational intervention sometimes appears so powerless in the face of human emotional progress. Three months after the school jumping incident, an unexpected visitor came to the psychological clinic of our hospital.He is tall and thin, wearing a gray suit with white stripes and a tie with a brand name.He is between forty and fifty years old, but he is slightly hunched like a literati, as if a little bit apologetic.His appearance is not impressive, but his eyes are very characteristic and very sharp, like arrows aiming at an invisible target in the distance, but can turn around and shoot at nearby things in an instant.This look will fascinate some women.

The business card he took out was a professor and director of a research institute of a famous university.And he asked to see Dr. Cong Changmin by name. "Have you made an appointment? Sir." The lady on duty at the psychological clinic asked him. "No, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" He expressed his deep apology.He said a little uneasy, "I have something urgent and I want to see him temporarily. I really want to talk to him." "So, do you want to seek psychological counseling from him, or do you want to discuss something important with him?" the lady on duty asked again.

"It's both." There was a gloomy look in his eyes, many thoughtful lines on his full forehead, and his manner had become restless and impatient. Take my business card to discuss with Dr. Cong Changmin?" "The rule of our clinic is that we generally don't accept visits from guests who haven't made an appointment in advance." The lady on duty smacked her lips in embarrassment, but she still took the business card and said, "I'll go and ask for you." Unexpectedly, after receiving the business card, Dr. Cong Changmin immediately came out to greet him enthusiastically and said, "Is this Professor Qin Feng? I am looking forward to your visit. Maybe your arrival will be of great help to my work."

After they walked into the consulting room, Qin Feng said: "I have known you for a long time, and it is my honor to talk with such an excellent psychologist like you!" Cong Changmin also bowed his head to show respect and said: "I have admired the name for a long time, and I heard from my friends who work in the university that you are expected to be promoted to an academician soon. You are so young and have achieved so much in your career. I really want to congratulate you from the bottom of my heart. " There was a red tide on Qin Feng's face, and he felt that his stiff limbs seemed a little flexible.He asked, "You are Yu Meilin's attending psychiatrist and her psychological supervisor, right?"

"That's right. I heard from her that you were her teacher too. When Yu Meilin was in college, you taught them." Cong Changmin's eloquence became sharper. "What's her current condition? Or in psychological terms, what kind of psychological symptoms?" Qin Feng asked again. "Post-Trauma Syndrome." "Can it be cured? How long will it take?" "This is a sequelae of psychological trauma. Generally, it is due to some strong external stimulus and emergency pressure, which makes the parties suffer violent shocks and experiences in their hearts, which remain in memory and cause continuous impact on the parties' physical and mental health. It’s called post-traumatic syndrome.” Cong Changmin explained, “Generally, the healing process will take several months at the fastest, and it may last for several years. If there is no abnormality in the sleep, dream and memory system of the person concerned, the treatment will be completed. Much easier."

Qin Feng let out a long sigh, and fell into deep thinking and silence. Cong Changmin waited patiently, he was in no hurry to break this silence.Because he knows the importance of this kind of silence in the process of psychological counseling. Sometimes they are like the blank parts in ink paintings, which have a certain vitality and information of life. The silence in the process of psychological counseling is also a confession of some kind of will. After a while, Qin Feng sighed again and said: "Actually, I planted the cause and effect of this incident. I have been wanting to talk to someone, but I can't find a suitable one. But I have suppressed it in my heart for too long, you I know that, from a psychological point of view, it will inevitably be distorted and become pathological in the subconscious. So I am determined to talk to you, which may lighten my burden on the road of life in the future."

Cong Changmin looked at him and said sincerely: "I understand your feelings. Moreover, I think what you told me may be of great help to Yu Meilin's psychotherapy!" Qin Feng kept nodding his head. He seemed to be under the weight of his conscience, and he kept sorting out his thoughts and memories in his head, and then slowly poured out his words. Seventeen years ago, Qin Feng was still a graduate student in university.There was a girl who once moved his heart, but just when he was about to confess his love to her, that girl suddenly disappeared without a trace.It made him panic all day long, not knowing when he would meet her again.

Only later did he know that the girl's name was Zhuang Ying, who was now Pei Xiaolong's late mother.While studying in medical school, she may not have the most beautiful face, but she has a good figure. She is the girl who attracts the most attention from boys in the medical department.They first met in the library and got into an argument over borrowing a book. Qin Feng chose a book and put it on a table next to the bookshelf, and when he went to pick another book, Zhuang Ying came over and chose the book on the table.So they had a dispute.Qin Feng felt that his wisdom and talkativeness completely collapsed in front of this girl. He didn't know whether his brain was short-circuited or the girl's lively and open-minded behavior attracted him. He gave her his dormitory address and phone number, and told her Let her read this book first, and then hand it to him after reading it, saying that he must refer to this book for his master's thesis.

As they come and go, the two unknowingly have a crush on each other.Zhuang Ying also made an exception and told Qin Feng her baby name.The two went to the library to borrow books together, and went to the bookstore to buy books together. Qin Feng quickly found the book he wanted to buy, and called Zhuang Ying's baby name "Xiaoyun".His voice passed through the noisy voices of people in the bookstore, and the sound of vehicles on the street... It was fixed in Zhuang Ying's ears, and she felt a sense of intimacy from the closest person in an instant. They sometimes go to the barbecue street behind the university campus to eat kebabs and squid sprinkled with cumin and pepper. The wind blows the smoke on the charcoal into their eyes, making Zhuang Ying get smoked while eating. tears.Qin Feng said that he really likes this feeling, life is to taste the deliciousness of life while wiping tears for this beautiful process.

Zhuang Ying said that if this continues, I will fall in love with you.She held a skewer of roasted mutton and said, "What about you, is that so? If you don't tell me, I won't give it to you." Qin Feng said that he would not confess his love easily.He beckoned and told the mutton kebab vendor to grill me another one.There were tears in Zhuang Ying's eyes.Qin Feng said: "Look at you, you feel wronged like a child, and I haven't denied the possibility." Afterwards, thinking of what they did and what they said, Zhuang Ying would be absent-minded as if her soul was out of her body, and she couldn't help but smirk, which made her classmates in the same dormitory feel strange.But when Qin Feng thought about it, he actually didn't know what Zhuang Ying was thinking or wanting, and he didn't know what he was thinking or wanting either.They just attracted each other aimlessly, like two children suffering from sleepwalking, indulging in that pure romance.

One day, Zhuang Ying put a note on the crack of the door of his dormitory: Miss you, see you tonight.And Qin Feng was going to attend an academic conference in other provinces and cities the next day. He turned down all the things that day, trying to spend the night with Zhuang Ying aimlessly.But he has the reserve of a man, he waits for Zhuang Ying to call him first, he feels that he should not be too serious like a little boy.But one afternoon passed, and it was already evening, and there was still no call from Zhuang Ying. He couldn't help it, and took the initiative to call to ask, but he couldn't find where she was. The next day, he got on the train.He thought he would not care about this relationship at all, but when he saw the sunny and bustling station, he suddenly became sad.The book he held in his hand was the first time they went to the bookstore to buy it together.The academic conference he went to didn't need this book, but he was very strange, he hesitated for a long time and still took it with him.And last night, maybe he had missed her promise. When the train arrived, he went to call her.As long as there is a word from her, he will let go of the pride and reserve that cannot last for 24 hours, give up this academic conference, and rush back to her side.But there is no news from her, really nothing.This girl who is more proud and reserved than him may never see him again. In this way, after a long time, Qin Feng began to be busy writing his master's thesis. He was preparing to take the exam for a very famous professor in the school at that time, that is, Yu Meilin's father's doctoral candidate. At this moment, Zhuang Ying's phone call came, which caught him somewhat by surprise.She was about to graduate from university soon, and suddenly wanted to change her major and apply for Yu Meilin's father's graduate school, which meant that she wanted to become an official senior brother and sister with him.Zhuang Ying said that she had met Professor Yu, and the professor admired her very much and liked that she could be his student. But what caught Qin Feng even more off guard was that she rented a two-bedroom house near the university in order to facilitate her review plan for the postgraduate entrance examination.Zhuang Ying proposed to share the rent with him, which can save money and take care of each other.Qin Feng suggested to go to her place first, and when he went there, seeing Zhuang Ying wearing an apron and going out to the kitchen, looking like a housewife, Qin Feng couldn't help but feel a little heart pounding. He still can't forget the good times they had together.In order to taste this taste again, he proposed to move here for half a year to try.And Zhuang Ying made three agreements with him: one is not allowed to bring classmates or girlfriends to the house privately; Words that hurt feelings and things that hurt feelings.Offenders will be fined to do housework for one month and pay one month's rent, and if the circumstances are serious, they can be postponed for one month.This provision takes effect on the date of signature by both parties. Qin Feng said: Isn't this my contract of sale?Zhuang Ying said, didn't I also sign it?Qin Feng said, this is not the same, this is a serious unequal treaty between men and women, which made him lose the minimum male rights and personality.Zhuang Ying smiled and said, lose power and disgrace?It's not that serious, is it?I did it for our own good, besides, men should give way to women.If you feel dissatisfied, then the rule is not established, let's blow it!Qin Feng immediately echoed and said okay, let's make a decision. But Qin Feng struggled in his heart for a long time, and he moved in after a week, until he felt that he had no strength to refuse her.As soon as he entered the door, he almost thought that he had entered the wrong room. There were cooked meals on the table, two bottles of wine were opened, and his room had new sheets and was tidy. Zhuang Ying said: You have considered it, and finally want to come?Qin Feng said: Can I not come?Zhuang Ying beat him on the back, blasted him out the door and said: Then please go back!Qin Feng struggled and said: Don't!If you beat me to death, who else will know you and accompany you like me? While eating and drinking, Qin Feng suddenly remembered something, so he asked Zhuang Ying, where did you go some time ago, why did you always disappear?Zhuang Ying is a frank and straightforward girl. She made no secret of it. There was a little boy who had been in love with her for a long time and had been pursuing her persistently. She had to deal with this matter.She added, I still think of you, Qin Feng, in my heart, and it is only with you that I feel like we are rivals. Qin Feng asked her about the boy's appearance, temper, personality traits, and the details of their relationship. Zhuang Ying told him all of them, without hiding anything. Qin Feng listened, listened, and began to drink boring wine.He drank up his own bottle of wine, and then brought Zhuang Ying's bottle of wine, and she added ice to his glass again and again.The wine was getting weaker and weaker, but Qin Feng's heart was floating on the edge of madness.There were already two empty wine bottles on the table, but he was still clamoring for a drink.Zhuang Ying said, stop drinking.He just wanted to try presumptuousness once and fell to the ground. Zhuang Ying helped him to the bed, and he shed tears sadly.She called for hot water and wiped his face covered with alcohol and tears with a towel little by little.Qin Feng took the opportunity to wrap his arms around her neck and kiss her.Zhuang Ying said: I don't want to, you have to follow the rules!Qin Feng said: Fuck its rules!I don't care about this when I'm drunk. Zhuang Ying whispered in his ear again: My body is like this wine, to be intoxicating is to be bitter.Qin Feng said, I just fell in love with your bitter body!He went to unbutton her clothes, but he didn't know how to unbutton a woman's clothes.Perhaps it was his clumsiness that moved her, and she taught him how to quickly open a woman's body... Three months later, Zhuang Ying became pregnant.Qin Feng's first reaction was to go to the hospital to deal with it.Zhuang Ying cried and said that she wanted to keep the child.How can this be?Zhuang Ying said that after the child was born, she managed to support herself. Isn't this nonsense?Qin Feng just received a notice from the school saying that he was recommended to be promoted to Professor Yu's doctoral student without taking the exam, and he will be one of the key training objects in the school in the future.At this juncture, if the school found out that he let a female college student get pregnant out of wedlock, he would have to deal with it seriously according to the school regulations at that time, and he didn't want to ruin his future anyway. Qin Feng firmly disagreed.Zhuang Ying ignored him.No matter how hard he spoke, he almost knelt down to her, but she just wouldn't listen.In order to make her calm down, Qin Feng put up the bedding and moved back to his original dormitory. A few days later, Zhuang Ying called him, and if he didn't want to regret for the rest of his life, he should go to her house right now.Qin Feng was startled, and hurried over, opened the door to see, scared out of his wits, Zhuang Ying sat paralyzed on the ground, holding a knife in his hand, the other wrist had already been cut, blood It gurgles straight down.Seeing Qin Feng, she smiled bleakly and said, "So you still care about me..." Qin Feng quickly bandaged her wound and carried her to the hospital.However, after leaving the hospital, she never went home, and never returned to him.Not coming back, never coming back.She also gave up her postgraduate volunteering to apply for Professor Yu. At that time, there was still a rumor in the school that Zhuang Ying and Professor Yu had an ambiguous relationship.Professor Yu, on the other hand, has the candid and honest temper of an old-age intellectual. For so many years, because of jealousy of his achievements and career, many people have poured dirty water on him. Like life.Although he knew something about Qin Feng and Zhuang Ying, he felt that Qin Feng was extremely talented, and his future career and actions must be higher than his. He didn't want to ruin his future, but would rather take the blame for him for the time being; Do your own knowledge, don't inquire about other people's privacy; the third is to deal with the "sewage" that others pour on you, and take "the more you argue, the more black you are, and the more you don't argue, you will clear yourself" as the principle of life. As expected, Qin Feng did not fail to live up to his mentor's expectations. He became more and more academically successful, and finally became a generation of famous experts and scholars. A few years later, Qin Feng also inquired about Zhuang Ying.She still gave birth to the child she was pregnant with, and soon married the boy who had been chasing her and falling in love with her.She started as an intern in a hospital, and soon became a key physician in neurology. "So, Pei Xiaolong should be your child, and Yu Meilin is not a half-sibling?" Cong Changmin confirmed again. "That's true." Qin Feng was still trapped in painful memories, and he said in a very firm tone: "Zhuang Ying never gave birth again. And she kept the secret of Pei Xiaolong's birth all the time." "However, the psychological impact of this secret on Yu Meilin, my client, should be said to be too heavy. I think this is an important factor causing her post-traumatic syndrome." Cong Changmin said to him analyzing the case. "I have long realized that the cause and effect of this tragedy was caused by me alone. And the strong desire for redemption in my heart came too late. What should I do?" Qin Feng couldn't help feeling at a loss. "According to my clinical treatment experience," Cong Changmin said to him persuasively, "it is not yet possible to tell the client this birth secret, because it will form a new psychological blow and cause more painful mental trauma. The only way is to wait for the client's physical and mental health. Only when the health has recovered to a certain level and the heart has a certain endurance can it be revealed at the right time." "Then I implore you to take care and treat him well, I can only leave everything to you." Qin Feng bowed deeply to Cong Changmin.He was originally a very conceited, very arrogant, and a university student who did not easily bow his head to others, but at this moment he felt powerless in his heart. "I will do my best." Dr. Cong Changmin comforted him, "But, sometimes, the power of fate is stronger than the power of psychotherapy." "Yes. Destiny is very strange. It can accomplish everything on the surface of a person, and it can also destroy everything in the heart of a person." Qin Feng said empathetically when he walked out of the psychological consultation room.