Chapter 10 abnormal love

A reporter from "Life Weekly" came to our psychological clinic to visit Dr. Cong Changmin and wanted to write about some psychological problems related to married life. Dr. Cong Changmin said to the reporter in a somewhat shocking way: "I have never been married, so I am not a real expert on the topic of marriage psychology. However, for everyone, talking about the topic of marriage is like It's the same as talking about death." "How do you say that?" The reporter asked in surprise. "No one knows what the world after death is like; similarly, there is no correct information provided to the two parties about what the world will be like after marriage. People around can only wish them 'grow old together', just like People believe that they will go to heaven after death. If the world after death is divided into heaven and hell, then married life also has happiness and unhappiness. But on the other hand, happy people do not know what an unhappy marriage is like , Unhappy people can't imagine what a happy marriage is like. Therefore, marriage or celibacy, which is happier or more unhappy, no one knows."

The reporter said with great interest: "It's the first time I've heard such an interesting argument. Can you expand on it a little bit more?" "People often call the person who can catch up with the object of love and walk on the wedding aisle together as a 'winner in love', and call the other person who doesn't find the object of love a 'loser in love' '. But things are not that simple. Marriage is a man and a woman who meet in this world and agree to live together in the future, and it is just a starting point that has just passed. Or it can be called the first act of a drama. In order to maintain happiness In the married life of a man, he must try his best to perform the second, third and fourth acts well, but who knows whether it will be a comedy or a tragedy after that. No one can make such a guarantee: the winner of love will not be married loser."

"Then what is your conclusion?" the reporter asked. "We get married because of love, understand because of marriage, and misunderstand because of understanding. A famous Japanese entertainer said: Marriage is a lack of judgment, divorce is a lack of endurance, and remarriage is a lack of memory. I think he still said There's a certain amount of philosophy." After the reporter left, I stepped out and said to Dr. Cong Changmin: "You shouldn't scare the reporter like this. She came to interview you very seriously. Aren't you spreading 'marriage phobia'?"

"I didn't expect you to see through it at a glance, but now it's your turn to scare me." Dr. Cong Changmin said with a smile like a child who just finished playing a prank, "I have never been interested in interviews with the news media. They want to come Grab some news material, and I might as well tell them some sensational news." "But the media has the function of facing the public and guiding the public." I said seriously. "I know that. But what I said must not be unreasonable. Well, let me tell you about a related case that I consulted in Japan, from which you can understand what a deformed marriage is."

The case story of Dr. Cong Changmin is as follows. Jiang Yuan and Heping Shimiko are a pair of foreign couples, and their love relationship has aroused the attention of people around them.Jiang Yuan is 25 years old. He came to Japan to study in Northeast China. Miko Hiraishi is a Japanese teacher at Jiang Yuan's school and is four years older than Jiang Yuan. Maybe the two really fell in love at first sight, maybe it was the old saying that they were destined to live together in a previous life, and they lived together soon.Jiang Yuan abandoned his girlfriend who was waiting for him in China and was in love with him, so his relatives and friends in China called him ungrateful and heartless, and said that the female teacher at the Japanese language school seduced him; She also broke up with her boyfriend, sparking a backlash from Miko's parents and family members who went to school to accuse Kang of abducting Japanese women.

This quarrel further aroused their rebellious psychology and sparks of love, making this pair of teachers and students quickly become a couple in love. I met them both in the counseling room of the university.Miko once consulted a young psychiatrist about her problems; this young consultant was a colleague I had a good relationship with. Unfortunately, the consultation on the case was very unsuccessful. Miko is a woman with a compulsive personality type. During the psychological consultation, her main complaint was: "When you see a man you like, you can't help but want to get close. But the problem is that once you get close, you will lose interest. "In addition, she also reported being sexually abused as a child.Have had sex with men as a teenager.

Miko seems to be a typical woman with dual personalities. When she tells about her relationship with men and psychological problems in childhood, she looks indifferent, as if she is talking about other people's affairs.In the first and second counseling sessions, she sat across from the counselor with her legs apart, wearing a skirt suit.During the third consultation, she stopped suddenly in the middle. She put her hands under her armpits as if nothing had happened, adjusted her bra, and said to the therapist: "Men are untrustworthy, I have seen through it. What do you think? "

"Hmm, um..." The healer replied embarrassedly, "Are you dissatisfied with this?" "You said that without saying anything." She attacked aggressively, "I want to hear your evaluation or reaction, and that's why I came here for consultation." "What evaluation and reaction do you want?" "I don't know. Anything is fine." Miko asked stubbornly, squinting at the healer from the corner of her eye. Poor, the young counselor has little experience and has just debuted, so the consulting fee for the case is quite cheap.Encountering such a woman makes him feel sexual temptation, excitement and anxiety, mixed with humiliation and anger.Overwhelmed by the emotion, he began to fight back.

"Do you really want my evaluation and reaction?" The young consultant finally couldn't hold back anymore, "I want to ask, what do you think of your sitting posture?" "What do you mean?" Miko was a little surprised. "You are wearing a short skirt and sitting with your legs spread apart like this, I really can't see it." Miko suddenly bent down, crossed her legs in a panic, pulled her short skirt to her knees nervously, and said with a blushing face, "I'm sorry, I didn't notice. I used to like to sit in this posture..." "But not long ago, you were still arranging your underwear as if nothing had happened."

"What are you trying to imply to me?" Miko also began to show anger. "I hope you can respect the psychiatrist, not seduce..." "Are you guessing wrong?" Miko was a little embarrassed, but she decided to stop the consultation. A week later, the young psychiatrist felt a little regretful. He called her and wished her physical and mental health: "If you change your mind, I am willing to wait for you to consult at any time." But Miko refused, and she hung up the phone.However, she considered letting Jiang Yuan receive psychotherapy, and the counseling room considered me as the candidate for the attending psychiatrist in charge of this case.

Jiang Yuan is a handsome young man with a strong physique like an athlete, but he is very introverted, with a shy expression, like a girl.He was strictly disciplined by his parents in childhood and had severe obsessive-compulsive symptoms.If an adult "destroys" the order or rules he decides unconsciously, he will be quite irritated.A slight difference in the place where the toy is placed cannot be tolerated.Before going to school, if the order of washing his face, eating and packing his schoolbag is slightly different, he will start from waking up and do it all over again. After riding the bus or reading the newspaper, his "cleanliness" behavior often flares up.He felt as if his hands were covered with germs and he had to wash his hands constantly.Carry on for one hour or two hours until the palms are pale and the skin is washed. After studying in Japan, his obsessive-compulsive symptoms were relieved.Here he met his Japanese teacher Hiraishi Miko.Miko taught him a lot of experience and knowledge of living in Japan, and gave him a lot of caring help. Jiang Yuan's gratitude to Miko quickly turned into a man's affection for a woman.Jiang Yuan comes from a family with strict discipline. From childhood to adolescence, Jiang Yuan has always felt a strong sense of hunger for maternal love.And Miko is the eldest daughter in the family, and has gained the dominance and dominance over her younger siblings since she was a child.From the subconscious point of view, Jiang Yuan's love for Miko is not so much the desire for women, but rather the desire for sister or maternal love. Jiang Yuan decided to marry Miko and changed his wife's surname when registering at the district office. When the two had their first night, Miko took the lead.Jiang Yuan, who maintains a virginity in the sexual relationship, wants to obtain the body of a woman who belongs to him with clumsy movements. "No, it's not here..." Miko frowned in pain, and murmured, "So stupid, so stupid." Miko had had secret relationships with several men before, and had never been subjected to such naive and clumsy actions.But facing the man in front of her, she didn't blame her, because this just showed Jiang Yuan's virginity and innocence, she couldn't help but smile. In the end, it was Meizi who helped Jiang Yuan pass the test with her own hands. In later life, Miko basically gained control over Jiang Yuan.For example, in the selection of TV channels, in the selection of music and in the selection of family cooking, the power falls into the hands of Miko. Jiang Yuan likes to watch some light-hearted TV programs about ordinary Japanese citizens, but Miko denounces them as "low taste".Jiang Yuan hopes to have a child, but Mei Zi does not want to have a child at all. Miko nervously adopts multiple contraceptive methods, such as body temperature testing and "safe period" calculation, condoms and taking medicines and other precautions.Once during the "safety period", after Jiang Yuan didn't use a condom, Miko ran into the bathroom and rinsed the shower repeatedly, which lasted for a long time. Hearing the sound of washing, Jiang Yuan couldn't help thinking in amazement: Is this woman he is handing over to his wife or a prostitute? Recently, Jiang Yuan's obsessive-compulsive symptoms have become more serious.As long as Meizi goes out with him and asks whether the gas and electrical appliances are turned off at home, Jiang Yuan will change color and blood will rush to the top of his head.His obsessions were violently evoked, and he had to go home and check repeatedly.Even traveling far away could not stop him, and Jiang Yuan often exhausted himself on the way back and forth. That night, Miko was very interested and kept teasing her husband, but Jiang didn't respond due to fatigue and was ridiculed by Miko.So Jiang Yuan had no choice but to pull himself together and pull himself together, while Meizi was too excited for some reason, so she took a different posture in the intercourse than before.Poor Jiang Yuan is like a frost-beaten leaf, defeated before a battle, and withered. Meizi tried all her efforts and methods, but she couldn't bring Jiang Yuan back to her original state.She couldn't help but said contemptuously: "You man, you are so useless!" For women, this is a manifestation of dissatisfaction with desire; but for men, it is a heavy psychological blow and hint, and it is also a taboo in sexual intercourse.Meizi's words made Jiang Yuan suffer a crushing defeat as if accepting the verdict. From then on, Jiang Yuan fell into an impotent state of impotence.This is one of the reasons why he came to counseling. Jiang Yuan is very distressed about his state.He wants to live apart from Meizi for a period of time, or return to China to recuperate for a period of time.But Meizi disagreed, she said: "Separation is a divorce in disguise. Your current situation cannot be temporary. Don't worry, you will recover slowly." One of the reasons why Miko does not want to be separated from Jiang Yuan is that she is about to resign from her job as a teacher at the Japanese language school and apply for a major in psychoanalysis at the School of Medicine of T University, and Jiang Yuan will be one of her most important subjects for psychoanalysis.Meizi can get an inexplicable pleasure from Jiang Yuan's body. But Jiang Yuan was not reconciled, he thought: "If I don't separate from this woman for a period of time, there is no cure for my disease." For this reason, he even did not hesitate to divorce Meizi. Jiang Yuan went for legal consultation.The lawyer shook his head at him sympathetically and said: "Whether sexual life problems can become a major reason for divorce is often worthy of careful consideration. According to the law, if there are male genetic impotence, female weakness and other genital disorders The circumstances, as well as pathological conditions such as sexual perversion and abnormality of one party can be considered. However, strong medical evidence must be presented. Among them, the occasions where sexual intercourse cannot be attributed to acquired, temporary or psychological reasons, that is, medical The scope of treatment is possible, and the request for divorce is difficult to be recognized." Jiang Yuan understands that as long as Miko does not agree to the divorce or break up, and does not commit any act of infidelity, it will be difficult for her side to get the support of Japanese law if she insists on filing for a divorce. On this day, Miko took Jiang Yuan to a cultural center in T City to listen to a lecture about the life world of nobles and samurai in the traditional Japanese drama "Kabuki".Miko believes that this is one of the indispensable cultural upbringings of her husband Jiang Yuan living in Japan.But Jiang Yuan has no interest in traditional Japanese drama, he thinks he can live well without this kind of "upbringing". Miko scolded him and said: "You are really worthless, an uneducated man can only be of vulgar taste..." In the end, Miko is in the dominant position in the family, and his wife's opinion is everything. Yuan could only obediently obey. There were so many people who came to the cultural center to listen to the lectures that the studio was packed to the brim.Jiang Yuan squeezed in the middle with his wife, feeling uncomfortable all over.He didn't know anything about the "flower arrangement" of the stage installation in kabuki and the "samisen" in the music accompaniment, and just wanted to doze off.But because my wife sat beside me and supervised, I had to listen with all my energy. During the speech, the audience's emotions were very enthusiastic and their eyes were very focused.And Jiang Yuan gradually couldn't hold it anymore, and his obsessive-compulsive disorder began to attack.He seemed to feel that the eyes of the audience around him were all stabbing at him. He felt a little hot and suffocated, and suddenly had a splitting headache. "Wow..." He cried out in pain. Miko was taken aback, grabbed him quickly, and pleaded softly, "What's wrong with you? Please, be quiet...please..." "Let me out..." Jiang Yuan panted, trembling and shouted. Jiang Yuan was sent to the hospital urgently, and was diagnosed by a psychiatrist as "hysterical neurosis", but he denied that it was the onset of "schizophrenia".Afterwards, Jiang Yuan's psychological counseling stopped and he switched to regular psychiatric treatment. In the next few nights, Jiang Yuan began to become haggard, with no appetite, no energy all over his body, and an inexplicable sense of exhaustion. His headaches were getting worse and worse, to the point of being unbearable.Therefore, Miko had to accompany him to the emergency department of the hospital late at night.As a result of the fluoroscopy and photography of the brain, an unknown suspicious part was found in his forebrain. Whether it is a lesion cannot be determined. The doctor suggested to go to a specialized brain hospital for a precise brain tissue examination. At present, there is no clear diagnostic conclusion. . With a dead-like expression, Jiang Yuan returned home.He began to think about what is this unknown lesion in his brain? "Maybe it's cancer." Jiang Yuan remembered that some of his relatives died of cancer a few years ago. "Cancer is not hereditary." Miko said half comfortingly, half angrily, "Stop saying such nonsense nonsense." "Yes, this is a bit like the pain of cancer." "Do you know how cancer hurts?" Miko asked back. "Listen to the old man..." "Don't scare yourself." Meizi persuaded, "I have a girlfriend's brother who is a famous brain doctor in a big hospital. Don't you understand everything when you go for a diagnosis tomorrow?" The hospital that Miko introduced was a well-known local hospital affiliated to a national university. Yoshida, the brain doctor, was very young, tall and handsome, and had a close relationship with Miko, as if he had been an acquaintance for many years.In the outpatient clinic, Dr. Yoshida inquired about the condition in very cautious and exhorting language.Jiang Yuan's worry and uneasiness rolled in his chest. He thought that if the condition was not serious, the doctor didn't need to use such a tone to ask the doctor. Jiang Yuan seemed to see the passage of hell, his eyes turned black.The only one who can be with him at this time is his wife who has lost both trust and love—there is no one else but Miko. After a detailed examination of the brain tissue, a week later the diagnosis came out.Jiang Yuan was taken to the hospital by Miko with the look of having been sentenced to death for cancer. "There are no signs of cancerous lesions in the brain tissue," Yoshida said to Jiang Yuan with a smile. "The initial diagnosis is the symptoms of trigeminal neuralgia in the brain, which requires neurological treatment." "It's not brain cancer?" Jiang Yuan's eyes sparkled, but his tone was still unbelieving. "But it doesn't mean that treatment and recuperation can be neglected. Overeating, disordered life patterns, mental tension and emotional excitement should be avoided as much as possible. Please take the medicine regularly according to the doctor's advice." Jiang Yuan hadn't heard the second half of Dr. Yoshida's words, his body was so relaxed that he was about to float, and his heart was filled with violent ecstasy.He walked out of the outpatient room of the hospital like a prisoner who had been sentenced to death and was suddenly acquitted. That night, Jiang Yuan, who was liberated from the terror of cancer, and the pain in his head disappeared, suddenly recovered from his impotence and approached Miko's body. "Ah, what's the matter with you?" Meizi was surprised and delighted, after enduring a long period of sexual hunger, she let Jiang Yuan ravage her with an open posture. From this night onwards, the physical and spiritual love between Jiang Yuan and Mei Zi seems to be revived again, and the relationship between the two has also undergone drastic changes. Miko, who had always been arrogant and condescending to Jiang Yuan, who occupied a dominant position, suddenly became docile and humble. For example, in the selection of TV channels, in the selection of radio music, as long as it is a program that Mihara likes, Miko will adjust to a certain frequency and wait in advance, and then remind Jiang Yuan to watch or listen. In terms of family food and cooking, Meizi also tried her best to cater to Jiang Yuan's taste.Things that she regarded as "low taste" before are now talked about with relish.Jiang Yuan was surprised.And Miko said: "What you like should also be what I like." Now when Miko talks about traditional Japanese drama "Bunraku", "Kabuki" or music and dance drama "No" and other cultures, Jiang Yuan said, "It's just old things, old antique things", and Miko immediately Shut up. When Miko talked about the "boutique" goods that Japan's super department stores sell, Jiang Yuan said, "This kind of extravagant thinking should also be changed." She said it was a "hypocrisy", but Miko, who was submissive and fearful, could only keep silent. At this point in Dr. Cong Changmin's narration, I interrupted his topic and asked: "Jiang Yuan's psychological abnormalities and obsessive-compulsive symptoms are very obvious, but Hiraishi Miko's psychological abnormalities, I don't know very well. I feel a little strange about her changes. and incredible." Cong Changmin analyzed: "Miko's personality has a perverted tendency of masochism. In psychoanalysis, it is called 'masochism', that is, a person who feels satisfied because of being mentally or physically abused or suffering by others. Inversion. There are two types of masochistic interests, one is extroversion, that is, acts of abuse, attack or damage to others, called "sadism"; the other is introversion, toward oneself, That is, to meet external attacks, sadistic satisfaction, and joyful mentality is called "masochistic tendency". From the analysis of Miko's personality, these two tendencies are mixed together." "So Miko's love is a perverted, deformed love?" I asked. "Suffice it to say. This sadistic or masochistic state of mind is a symptom of 'erotic perversion' in the realm of sexual perversion, and historically there have been cases of this. Sexual whipping, bondage, Behavioral manifestations such as love to bite and mental sadism, to abnormal physiological changes, and even to killing loved ones are all variants of this abnormal psychology.” I said suddenly: "After your analysis, I can understand the explanation I saw in a foreign textbook before: sadistic or masochistic perversions range from the most frightening and strange behavior to the most Simple antics, with all sorts of symptoms. I sort of get it now." "A criminal psychologist judged this abnormal phenomenon in this way. It is an unbelievably deformed combination of pleasure and pain in love or sex life. It is a kind of contradictory or pros and cons. Abnormal behavior, in essence, develops according to the complex psychological process of sex-attack-contradiction-sacrifice-degeneration-self-abuse-trance-spiritual masturbation." Then he went on to narrate the case. Regarding Meizi's concession, submissiveness and submissiveness, Jiang Yuan was complacent about it at first, but later he couldn't help but feel suspicious. One day, Jiang Yuan said to Miko: "I don't think I can adapt to living in Japan for a long time. I want to go back to China for a period of time." "I have no objection." Miko said, "It may be good for you." "You don't want to be the teacher of your Japanese school, you can resign. You can go back to China with me at any time." Jiang Yuan made a further request. "Well, I agree." Jiang Yuan asked in surprise: "In the past, didn't you always object to what I did?" "Before? If so, can I take it back now?" "Really?" Jiang Yuan's doubts became more and more serious. "Indeed. What more do you want me to say?" "My disease, is it really trigeminal neurosis? It's actually brain cancer, right?" "what are you talking about?" "You look like you are serving a dying patient. Maybe my life is limited, so the doctor told you to obey the patient's wishes and do what he likes, isn't it?" "Too suspicious," Miko exclaimed. "I saw it in the hospital that day. When the nurse was dispensing my medicine, the doctor called you into the consulting room. At that time, they told you the truth of your illness." "Your imagination is first-rate." "Tell me the real illness," Jiang Yuan frantically grabbed Meizi's shoulders, begging desperately, "Meiko, please, tell me the real illness." "The real condition is that what you are suffering from is trigeminal neuralgia. There is nothing else. If you don't believe it, you can go to other hospitals and brain doctors for further diagnosis." "If it's cancer, no doctor in any hospital will tell the patient the real situation. This is common sense." Jiang Yuan couldn't help but lamented, "It seems that I am indeed suffering from brain cancer." That night, Mihara's headaches broke out again, and he imagined cancer cells metastasizing from the brain to the whole body.Moreover, he once again fell into a state of impotence. Jiang Yuan's symptoms showed signs of worsening. His appetite completely disappeared when he got up in the morning, and the paroxysmal headache at night kept him awake all night. He went to the bookstore to buy books about brain nerves and cancer, and carefully read them according to his own situation.Some of the symptoms match, and some don't.But the mental shock and anxiety it brought him was huge. And the compulsive behavior made him involuntarily want to run to the brain hospital where he was diagnosed, but he hesitated at the entrance of the hospital, believing that the doctor would not tell him the real condition.So I wandered, hesitated, and paced back and forth for hours. Sometimes when he saw the young Dr. Yoshida coming out of the hospital, he had an urge to ask, but he felt bored.So he followed from a distance, like a detective. Once he actually followed Dr. Yoshida's house, but he found something unexpected. He saw Miko walking into Dr. Yoshida's house.After quite a while, she came out in a hurry. "What is she doing there?" Jiang Yuan couldn't help but feel suspicious. Back home, Jiang Yuan quietly asked his wife where he had been today.Miko replied nonchalantly that she would go to a cultural center to participate in the "tea ceremony". "Lying", Jiang Yuan burst into rage, "obviously lying! But why did she lie? Is there any unusual relationship between this? If she wants to find a doctor to understand the condition without telling me, she can do it in the hospital Why go home? After going to the doctor's house, she denied it, which only shows that she is guilty and wants to cover up her unusual relationship with that doctor. " One afternoon two weeks later, Jiang Yuan followed Miko again and saw her enter Dr. Yoshida's house.With a death-like expression on his face, he returned home tiredly first, bought a bottle of strong Western wine, and drank it with a dull head. Around evening, Miko came home; she went into the bathroom and rinsed vigorously.Jiang Yuan's hysterical symptoms finally broke out, he smashed the wine bottle, opened the bathroom door, and dragged the naked Meizi out. "You, have you been lying to me?" Jiang Yuan's eyes were blood red like a burning fire. "What did I lie to you?" "You and that doctor both want me to die early." "Unfounded nonsense." "But I won't die that easily." Jiang Yuan sneered nervously "hehe". Miko instinctively felt the danger, and her body was retreating.Jiang Yuan grabbed everything around him, such as vases, lamps, and telephones, and threw them on the ground fiercely, venting his dissatisfaction. "What are you doing? You're crazy." Meizi wailed, and came up to snatch what was in Jiang Yuan's hand. During the struggle, Jiang Yuan suddenly felt that his fate was shackled by this woman's hands. He had a feeling of being restrained and suffocated. Suddenly, he strangled Meizi's throat from behind. Meizi was not prepared for Jiang Yuan's sudden attack, and had no room to resist at all, and the wailing disappeared after a while. With incredible wrist strength, Jiang Yuan violently strangled Meizi's throat, and it seemed that the cartilage in her throat could be heard cracking.Meizi, who resisted desperately, couldn't touch Jiang Yuan from behind with her hands, and her flushed face turned from purple to black.Bloody saliva came out of his mouth.If Jiang Yuan could see the horrible and miserable image of Meizi from the front, maybe he would let go. After a convulsion, Miko's body softened, and she escaped from the shackles of life.Jiang Yuan touched her nose with his hand, but there was no breath at all. Jiang Yuan surrendered himself to a nearby police station on the charge of "killing his wife".The police car roared towards the place where Miko died, preparing to investigate the scene and collect evidence. While being detained at the police station, Jiang Yuan's spirit was still in a state of frenzy, his body was getting more and more haggard, and he had unbearable headaches.The police had no choice but to send him to a nearby hospital for emergency treatment. After his physical and mental state stabilized slightly, he was escorted back to the police station for criminal investigation. Three days later, Jiang Yuan was discharged from the hospital and escorted back to the police station.But what was waiting for him was amazing news. Miko was not dead, and was rushed to the hospital by the police who rushed to the scene. After rescue, she finally saved her life. Miko made a request that after she recovered a little, she would go to the police station to meet her husband. In this regard, Jiang Yuan flatly refused.Miko asked again and again, but was still rejected. A criminal investigation and identification has begun.Miko entrusted a lawyer to file a complaint with the prosecutor in the following three aspects: "First, when Jiang Yuan killed his wife, he was in a state of insane mental illness, unable to recognize his own behavior; Second, for this reason, he should be sent to a mental hospital for thorough treatment; Third, the woman will not propose any divorce agreement until the end of treatment. " The criminal investigation of the prosecution has concentrated experts in psychiatry, personality psychology and judicial psychiatry for judgment.The focus of the judgment is: whether Jiang Yuan was mentally abnormal when he killed his wife, and thus determine the size of his criminal responsibility. At the same time, Jiang Yuan also submitted his own complaint to the prosecutor, the content of which is briefly described as follows: Dear Mr. Prosecutor: In this incident of killing my wife, I was not out of mental abnormality.Despite my experience with psychotherapy, it did not interfere with my ability to judge myself and my criminal behavior that I was sane when I killed. So the first point I want to say is that I killed someone on purpose this time. The second point is that since I committed murder on purpose, I should be prosecuted and sentenced criminally, so I should be sent to prison instead of a mental hospital. Ever since I suspected that I had brain cancer and was taken by my wife to Dr. Yoshida of the Brain Hospital for diagnosis, my wife's attitude has changed.This made me feel deeply disturbed and confused. I kept wondering if she wanted me to have cancer or not.Or is it using my compulsive nature to feed me with sick, hopeless fantasies?But despair is despair, doubt is doubt, and I don't have any conclusive evidence. One day, while my wife was not at home, I peeked at her diary.Only then did I realize that I was just one of her "cohabitants" and had always been her spiritually dominated and analyzed. She clearly recorded in her diary that I was seriously ill.This made me doubt Dr. Yoshida's diagnosis.But if I go to another doctor for a follow-up checkup, even if I have cancer, the doctor will not tell me the real situation. So, I thought of a way to go to other hospitals to make a diagnosis in disguise, wearing a wig and beard.When I learned the diagnosis result, and then resumed my original posture, I inquired as a brother in the family.It was a little scary to do so, but it got me going. However, the diagnosis results from other hospitals were the same as that of Dr. Yoshida. What I suffered from was not brain cancer, but nervous headaches.It was at this time that I discovered that my wife frequently came and went to Dr. Yoshida's house. What is she doing there?Since I'm not suffering from any major illness, is it necessary to go to a doctor's house so frequently?And why did she record in the diary that I was seriously ill? Finally I discovered the unusual relationship between my wife and the doctor, that Dr. Yoshida was just one of the men who had had a physical relationship with Miko before. Therefore, the third point of my complaint is that if possible, I want to dissolve the marriage relationship with my wife as soon as possible. Of course, the reason for divorce is not only because of my wife's infidelity..." However, the expert group formed by the prosecutor and the criminal police department believes that Jiang Yuan's mental state is not within the normal range.And one thing is for sure, before and after the crime and murder, due to the heavy mental pressure, he once fell into a state of compulsive hysteria and mental madness. On the other hand, according to Miko and her lawyer's defense to the prosecutor, there is no such thing as a "diary" at all, and if necessary, a criminal search can be made; as for the abnormal relationship with Dr. A kind of "persecution delusion" of the original.And Miko claims that she still loves her husband and is unwilling to divorce. The prosecutor's investigation of this matter has no evidence to find.After detailed analysis, the police believed that Jiang Yuan's written complaint had peculiar thinking, chaotic logic and lack of credibility.Therefore, there is a high possibility that the client may have "paranoia of being persecuted". The conclusion of the judicial appraisal is: "The client has a schizophrenic personality. He lost his mind, suffered from emotional disorders, and lacked the ability to recognize his own behavior when he killed. Now he shows mixed symptoms of compulsive behavior, delusions of persecution and schizophrenia, that is, the client has Obvious psychiatric tendencies. During the period of compulsory psychiatric treatment, they should be exempted from criminal prosecution." Jiang Yuan, this young man who has experienced a deformed love relationship, will spend another part of his life in a mental hospital just like this...