Chapter 9 ear love

"Doctor Sheng Ming, do you know what abnormal sexual desire is?" Once, Dr. Cong Changmin asked me this question when I was drinking coffee at noon in the psychological clinic. "I have very few cases in this area, and it is not easy to give a definition of perverted sexual desire." I knew that he had something to say to me, so I deliberately put on an appearance of listening attentively, luring him to publish Gao Jian, "I think, to explain this problem, maybe we need to know what normal sexual desire is." "There are three criteria for the clinical diagnosis of sexual perversion: the person concerned obtains sexual satisfaction outside of the genitals, sexual intercourse or erogenous zone; he obtains sexual satisfaction only through indirect behavior or imagination to the object of sexual desire; Moreover, from the point of view of clinical psychology and physiology and anatomy, abnormal sexual desire can be classified into twenty-four forms..." Dr. Cong Changmin talked about a series of concepts in one breath.

"You are really full of knowledge," I interrupted his topic, "From the clinical cases of psychological counseling in our hospital, I pay more attention to the phenomenon of fetishism." When it comes to "fetishism", Dr. Cong Changmin seems to be more interested in talking, as if he has completely fallen into his research world. He said: "When it comes to fetishism, it is an older and wider field. Now, most patients worship or love some wonderful things, such as shoes and socks, handkerchiefs, shorts, belts, women's physiological products, including parts of the feet, toes, waist, hair and other limbs of the lover, and even The feces of the lover. I have seen some case reports abroad. Some people decorate the dead lover's skull on their desks and treat them as living objects to fall in love with; The crumbs are sprinkled on the bed every day as part of my bedtime routine."

I nodded with interest and agreed with his statement, "I received a case a year ago. It was a young man with a handkerchief fetish. He said that his main symptom was that he met beautiful women walking by on the street. He was so fascinated that he couldn't help stealing her handkerchief, but he never touched a woman's body. In the past six months, he had stolen or collected more than 90 women's handkerchiefs. But he was very depressed, and from time to time he He had nocturnal emission, worried that he would be caught by the police one day, so his memory and nervous function began to weaken, and he fell into a serious personality disorder. I still don’t know much about his pathological mechanism.”

While turning his coffee cup, Dr. Cong Changmin listened to my case with sparkling eyes, and then made the following analysis and comments. "The meaning of fetishism in English is originally a talisman, a spell, a pet, a charm or something magical, which comes from Latin and Portuguese. In Japanese, it is called sexual fetishism, lewdness, sexual fascination, Fragmental fornication, etc., that is, the sex object he pursues is not so much the whole living person, as it is a abnormal psychological state of a part (fragment) of it. Not only that, in his unconscious, he also associates this "fragment" with Sexual associations are combined. For example, flowers are the sexual organs of plants, and fetishists will associate them with female sexual organs. For example, shoes are female vulvas, and handkerchiefs are female skin. The unconscious is the source of the pathology of the fetishist."

"Is there such a strange idea in this world?" I shook my head as if I heard a fairy tale, "Your analysis is valid in psychoanalysis, but from the specific case, it is still true. There is something incomprehensible." Dr. Cong Changmin gave me a meaningful look and said, "Then let me tell you a specific case that I have personally handled and experienced." When I was studying for a degree as a psychiatrist in N City, Japan, I often went to a barber shop called "Momoi" whenever I wanted to get my hair trimmed.The store is behind the three streets of the university, across a river, and charming cherry trees are planted on the banks of the river.On April days, the cherry blossoms all over the street are snow-white, and when a gust of wind blows, countless petals swirl lightly and brush over my cheeks, as if listening to the whispers of foreign women. The sesame seed cakes are loose, tender, and soft, full of nostalgia.

The store has another advantage, the charge is the cheapest in the industry, every time you go in with a dusty face and come out refreshed, you only need to spend 1,200 yen, which is not bad for the cash-strapped foreign students. It's a reward. This is a husband and wife shop. The boss cuts men's hair and shaves their faces. He works diligently and swiftly, but is honest and reticent.The proprietress perms female customers, and also does cleaning work such as storing hot water, ironing towels, and cleaning in the store.But this store is full of yang and yin, and most of the customers who come in are male customers, very prosperous, but most of them come for the proprietress.

The proprietress, a middle-aged woman under the age of forty, is not pretty, but she is thin-skinned and tender. With both sleeves rolled up, her bare arms are like two white onions peeled from the kitchen, tender and tender. Bright, the white and moist skin is like a bubble made of water, which seems to burst when touched.Although the proprietress is getting old, she is still full of flirting, flirting, coquettish and artificial, she is completely unparalleled in the world.It attracted a group of male customers to come to this store to "meditate" like headless flies.At this time, the small barber shop was full of cheerful atmosphere, all kinds of sexy, grotesque, vulgar, molesting, humorous, absurd, bizarre talks and jokes were all unscrupulous, and the shop was like a chaotic theater at this time.

The first time I went to the barber shop, the proprietress called me "Student-kun"; the second time I went, she affectionately called me "Little Brother". I learned a lot of Japanese anecdotes there, such as calling a mistress "" "Little Finger", calling the seduction of women "fishing", calling the lover who gets money back "rope", calling a married woman or an extramarital affair of a married man "floating air", etc. Once when I went to the "Momoi" barber shop, the proprietress was wearing a long skirt. When she saw me, she was so happy that she yelled strangely, saying that her back was sore, and she wanted me to use Chinese massage techniques to massage her. a while.As she spoke, she turned around, rolled up the long skirt with one hand, pressed the back of the chair with the other hand, stood on tiptoe, and her legs in black stockings were like complete fleshy lotus root, conspicuously shining on the in front of you.The eyes of all the male customers in the store flicked like cruise missiles to the meat lotus root, and then flicked to the boss.Seeing that the boss kept cutting the customers' hair without saying a word, everyone rushed back as quickly as possible.

Seeing me standing there blushing, the proprietress kept urging me: "It's okay, don't be afraid. Sister is in a good mood today, and I want to make myself comfortable." She was bent like a bow, like an ostrich, with her plump lips Ass, the short skirt became extremely small and narrow, wrapping the ostrich-like buttocks tightly like the foreskin of a green onion.I stood still and didn't dare to move, and all the male customers in the shop burst into laughter. A male customer said: "Madam boss, is this a barber shop or a deli?" The other said: "Isn't this clearly sexual harassment?"

The lady proprietress pressed the back of the chair, said without moving, "I'm harassing all of you, go report to the police station, it's best to arrest me." There was another burst of laughter in the store, and the air became more lively. A male customer in his fifties with short legs, drooling from the corner of his mouth, approached him with a playful smile and said, "At any rate, let me do it for you, give you a massage. I haven't seen you doting on me." As she spoke, she stretched out her hand, the proprietress suddenly withdrew her body, slapped him hard on the hand, and said seriously: "Greedy monkey, is it your turn too? Red-eyed toad." In the shop Another burst of cheerful laughter broke out.

Someone else said: "What kind of skirt is the woman wearing? Look, isn't this a fig leaf?" The proprietress replied: "I hate your words the most. If it is a fig leaf, then the man who runs around the street in sweatshirts is not a sex fanatic." , rapist?" Everyone burst into laughter again. Amidst the unscrupulous laughter of the crowd, the person who felt the most awkward and uncomfortable was A Qiang, the newly hired helper in the store. It turns out that the hairdressing industry in Japan is divided into two groups, "Wen" and "Wu", just like China's haircutting industry in some places.The work of Wenbang is only cutting, shaving, shaving, blowing and washing hair, etc., while the work of Wubang adds massage, massage, beating, kneading, and ear cleaning to treat dislocations, stiff neck and other diseases.In the past, this kind of armed gangsters had to undergo professional training before they could practice. Ah Fu may be Chinese with the same blood as me, but the origin is not clear.According to other foreign students who came to get a haircut, he may be a wage earner who smuggled into Japan from Fujian, or he may be a descendant of overseas Chinese living in Japan in Kobe and Yokohama, who came to N city alone to find a living. Ah Fu is dark and thin, about twenty-six or seven years old, with a bit of shrewdness in his simplicity, and a bit of nervousness in his shrewdness.His Japanese is not good, he can't fully understand the connotation of everyone's jokes, he only knows that he is talking about something indecent, and he is afraid that others will think he is dumb and can't understand Japanese, so he doesn't care about it, just follow the crowd's laughter Together, they smirked pitifully, as if they were eating a kind of Japanese green and bitter 'Matcha', their mouths were full of bitterness, but the expressions on their faces pretended to be delicious.Ah Fu's mantra when he is angry is: "This is a bitch." Ah Fu was very respectful and well-behaved when he met me. He didn't read many books and didn't have a good education, but he respected scholars very much.In this store, only he called me "Doctor" or "Mr.", just like meeting Juren and scholar in ancient times.There are only three kinds of people who can be called "sir" in Japanese society: one is a doctor, the other is a teacher, and the third is a politician.This made me feel very good, and I never asked him about his experience, especially among large groups of Japanese, it was a closely guarded private secret. The boss's wife assigned the job to the guy A Fu to finish the haircut, kneading, massaging, beating, etc. for the customers, but A Fu's best skills were ear cleaning and ear massage.The work of picking out ears cannot fully describe the long and profound history and culture of China's 5,000-year history.According to medicine, the Qi and blood of the whole body of a person gathers in the head, and the whole body of Qi and blood in the head gathers in the ears. The acupuncture points in the ears are the most, and the parts are the most sensitive. Health and beauty, prolong life.It is said that after being plucked by the masters in this industry, all of the 108,000 pores in the whole body will feel comfortable, and you will feel as if you are lifting a weight and you are floating in the sky.And Ah Fu's unique skill is to use a small stick to lightly tap the metal tool for ear removal at the end of ear removal, and the deep, beautiful, and melodious echo will follow the winding path in the ear all the way to the secluded place. , comfortable into your atrium. Among the five sensory organs of human beings, especially before life is born into this world, the human ears are already active.The poet Coto described his condition before his birth in this way: "My ears are like shells, Symphonic in it is, The gracious call of the sea. " The kind call of the sea sounded in the ears of the poet Cotor, perhaps it was the slack flow of amniotic fluid or the beating of the mother's heart that he heard in his mother's womb.And when a person is on the verge of death, he can only hear the sound of the wind or the thunder of the world falling, only by his ears.Ears are the first to move among the five senses, and the last to stop.I believe that the ear is another radar that God gave us to communicate with the mysterious world, and it is the sense of touch that God gave us.A person's sixth sense is roughly a signal transmitted from the ear to the brain, heart and body. In addition, a woman's face or neck may have makeup and plastic surgery, but only the ears are the most primitive and exposed part of the human body with the least makeup and plastic surgery.In the past, people also believed that if the ears were painted or plastic surgery, the function of the ears would be damaged.In addition, the Chinese characters composed of ears also really reflect the function and character of ears.For example, "shame", that is, things that are shameful are first passed on to people's ears, "smell", that is, to knock on the door and listen for advice; "Geng", "Dan", "Chat", "Nao", "Lian", "Ju" and so on, all reflect that the ear is the lodging place of a person's character and activities. So, I never asked Ah Fu to dig out his ears.This is because I feel that cleaning and digging out one's ears requires a very intimate relationship, in which trust, love and warmth are all indispensable.Generally speaking, except for mothers, wives and lovers, the ear is a very private organ and cannot be fiddled with casually.For example, if a student slaps the palm of the hand with a ruler, he can forget it, but if the teacher pulls his ear, he will remember it for the rest of his life. But having said that, just like mahjong is a national skill, ear cleaning is also a skill. If you use it less, it will be beneficial to your body and mind, but if you use it too much, it will become addictive.Ah Fu's tragedy is here too.Once, when he knew that I was a psychiatrist, he came to the psychological consultation room of my university mysteriously, saying that he was feeling bored and panicked, and he was afraid that he was mentally ill, so he asked for a psychological clinic.Soon he became the object of my psychoanalysis and treatment. The main complaint in this case still happened in Momoi Barbershop. A female customer came to the shop that day. She lived in a few streets nearby. People called her "Mrs. Keiko".Every time this female customer finishes her hairdressing and hair washing, Ah Fu will massage and knead her, and after that, she will clean her ears.The woman's ears are rosy, flexible, small and exquisite, and the bones and flesh on the ears are even and slim. Looking from the outer auditory canal to the inner auditory canal, the hole gradually opens up, and the white ear hair is hidden in a hidden place, which is deep and subtle; both form and spirit are impressive. Daydreaming.Ah Fu had never seen such beautiful ears, he almost let out a long sigh! That day, after picking out one ear for the first time, the female guest felt comfortable and happy, with a crying sound in her throat, and said: "I hate you." After picking out the other ear, the female guest turned over and got up, trembling all over. Ask Ah Fu: "I hate that I only met you at this time. Where were you before?" A Fu became flustered, and pushed to go to the bathroom, and locked the door as soon as he entered the bathroom. The penis was erected, but he didn't pee. He closed his eyes and gasped, and kneaded vigorously with his hands until his hands were wet Foreign body, just woke up a little.With a long sigh in his mouth: "This is a ****." After that, the female guest ran towards Ah Fu's place from time to time, and when Ah Fu saw the woman's ears, his heart beat suddenly, as if he was drunk.After things are over, I always run to the bathroom, my body is as soft as a bone has been picked, and I have exhausted a lot of body and mind for no reason. In order to resist this situation, Ah Fu once went to the red light district to watch the "striptease", trying to divert the excitement of the nerves, but to the disappointment, he was always listless there, like a defeated rooster.The boss took him to the "personal room" of the Customs Hotel (a pornographic establishment in Japan) and called a woman from Southeast Asia. The two of them had just undressed when Ah Fu became frightened and escaped like a rat being beaten.Ah Fu told me that on those occasions he was not sexually aroused at all, just terrified.But as soon as he saw Mrs. Keiko's ears, he couldn't help masturbating. However, the love for women's ears is not only a phenomenon unique to Ah Fu. In fact, many poets and writers have special concerns for women's ears.For example, the Japanese writer Ryunosuke Akutagawa has such a description in his work "On the Road": "Tatsuko leaned shyly on Jun's shoulder and looked back out of the window. Her small and exquisite ears were illuminated by the oblique sunlight. , pink and transparent. When Shunsuke saw it, he thought it was more beautiful and ecstasy than anything else." After reading such an article, and paying attention to women's ears, especially when the sun shines on women's helix, I found that it is indeed so beautiful. What Akutagawa Ryunosuke describes is thin red and transparent, full of a simple and simple beauty. Ears are a woman's erogenous zone, women can be very calm when making love, but when the ears are strongly caressed, they will become restless.This shows that the ear is a very sensitive place.The poet Coto said: "The ear is the palace of the whispers of life and the clamor of lust." This is the reason.In many movies, scenes describing the love between men and women always start with the man kissing the woman's ear.Philosopher Walter said: "Men like to express their love for women with their eyes, but women prefer to receive love from their ears." But Ah Fu's case is not so simple. He suffered from sexual perversion, which is called "sexual psychology disorder" in professional terms.But in fact, from the perspective of psychoanalysis, their symptoms have deep-seated reasons.Ah Fu came to my psychological counseling room to complain about his psychological distress. On the one hand, he was fascinated by ear cleaning technology, and on the other hand, he was worried about "whether his semen will be lost for no reason". in a state of intense ambivalence. Ah Fu is very nervous about his masturbation behavior. He often feels a strange emptiness in his abdomen. The fear of nocturnal emission makes Ah Fu feel a strong sense of fear. He often holds his penis unconsciously. "The loss of semen will lead to the loss of life." This feeling of heart palpitations and dizziness makes Ah Fu often in a state of absent-minded trance.Ah Fu was also worried that something was wrong with his urinary system. I asked him to have an examination at the Urology Department of the Affiliated Hospital of N University. The report showed that there were no abnormal symptoms in the urinary system.Judging from the examination in the clinical psychology clinic, Ah Fu suffered from compulsive "abnormal sexual preference". In order to study this strange abnormal symptom in depth, the number of visits to Momoi's barber shop has also increased.That year was about early autumn, when typhoons frequently landed on the Japanese archipelago, and I met Mrs. Keiko.A woman in her thirties, with shoulder-length hair, no ears visible, a well-proportioned figure, blood-red lips, and powdered face, making her face cruelly white.Ah Fu was massaging and kneading another customer. When she came in, she did not strike up a conversation with the male customers, nor did she join in their gags and unscrupulous chatting and laughing. She sat quietly in the corner alone. She seems to despise everything around her, and a pair of sleepy, drunken, smiling, alluring eyes under the long eyelashes are especially tempting for men. Her expression and posture are like creamy ice cream that has just been taken out of the refrigerator, delicious and cold , which is what the ancients called "beautiful as peaches and plums, cold as ice". The woman sat upright on the chair, frowning for a moment as if she had been bitten by a bug or a mosquito, and ignored the cruise missile-like gazes of the male customers, turned her back to the corner, raised her long sleeves as if nothing had happened, and revealed Two white arms, took a bottle of potion like "mosquito does not bite", and rubbed the potion on the white muscles.The sound was not loud, but very light and crisp, and accompanied by the slapping sound, the men in the store were ecstatic and held their breath. Seeing her angry, the proprietress said to a male customer in a low voice, "Hey, it's quite charming, we've learned something new." The air became active again, and someone said to the proprietress in a low voice: "I'm really envious of the mosquitoes in your shop." Another said: "Isn't it? Mosquitoes on the arm come to bite us anytime, and tell us to be charming too.” Another said, “I wish I could turn into a mosquito and slap it down so that the blood sticks to it.” There was another burst of low chirping laughter in the shop. Ah Fu's massage, massage and ear cleaning for Mrs. Huizi are in the inner room of the shop, separated by a curtain made of colorful beads. The "cream ice cream" like Mrs. Huizi began to "melt" when she sat on the chair.However, this day is not a good day for Ah Fu, because Mrs. Keiko told him that this is the last time she will visit this barber shop.A Chinese masseur also came to a barber shop near where she lived. It is said that the techniques of massage and ear cleaning are even more superb. Mrs. Keiko thought it would be more convenient to go there for a perm and massage. After hearing this, Ah Fu had cold sweat on his forehead, a long breath coming out of his nose, and his face was not moisturized. Usually, after cleaning his ears, he felt uncomfortable with something down below, and he always had to go to the bathroom. forget.Originally, the stimulating and excited mood was like soap bubbles blown by a child, the brilliance was dazzling, and before it reached a high level, it burst and returned to the birds, leaving only the sad nameless melancholy. I don't think this is a bad thing for Ah Fu, maybe he can get out of the sea of ​​suffering from now on.But Ah Fu is obsessed with his obsession. He is really in love with Mrs. Huizi's ears.In the psychological clinic, he blushed and asked me, "Do you think that ear looks like...does it look like..." He stopped talking and looked at me tentatively. "What does it look like?" I asked him, but he wanted to say something but couldn't. He scratched his ears and cheeks anxiously, but he still didn't say it.After a while, he asked again: "In other words, what do you think, using an ear-cleaning stick to go in and out of that ear canal, um...how does it feel?..." He stopped talking, a little obsessively Staring at my toes, waiting for my reaction. "How does it feel?" I still deliberately asked.Ah Fu blushed, and the words were stuck in his throat, but he couldn't vomit, as if he was as uncomfortable as an ant walking on a frying pan. Mrs. Huizi really didn't come back for a long time, Ah Fu panicked and felt a sense of loss in his heart.Sometimes he would look out of the window of the shop absent-mindedly, and sometimes he said that he would go to the street to buy a pack of cigarettes. No one knew what he was looking for in the street. strong. The proprietress said: "The body is back, but the soul was taken away by that woman long ago." Ah Fu had nightmares at night.In the psychoanalysis room he kept asking me to interpret his dreams.He dreamed of an ugly naked woman lying on the ground, her entire face caught between her legs.When he felt out of breath, a huge ear appeared in front of his eyes, resembling the tube wall shape of a stamen, and some elves climbed out of the tube and waved to him.He stretched out his hand timidly, but was pulled into the pipe and fell into the deep darkness.He vaguely heard the closing sound of the wall of the pipe. He struggled and began to feel uncomfortable as if he was suffocating, as if he was about to die.Suddenly woke up again, with a dull pain in the lower part, wet and greasy to the touch, thinking it was blood, my heart beat with fright, and my eyes turned black.Turn on the light and see, it's still the same thing. Ah Fu's dream is a sexual dream. The symbolic meaning of this dream is very strange, but it is very consistent with his mental state.From the point of view of psychoanalysis, there is a metaphor for a woman's ear as "the sex organ between the feet".The ears are indeed two hanging sexual organs between the face and the head of a person, and they are also likened to "the wine glass of love".Ah Fu's fetish tendencies are becoming more and more obvious.He needs to do in-depth psychoanalysis, but he always shirks that he has no money, and shrinks back as soon as he comes into contact with the topic of psychotherapy.It's like a patient who has discovered a wound, but tightly clutches it so as not to reveal it. After that, another important event happened.Around late autumn, Mrs. Keiko came to the shop where Ah Fu worked again.Changed into a fashionable dress sprayed with perfume, and pulled her hair up in a bun, like a woman in the Meiji era, she looked even more charming.He carried a box of exquisite Japanese snacks in his hand, saying that he passed by and gave it to Ah Fu specially, thanking him for his previous "care".Ah Fu blushed that dark and thin face, and even said no, the landlady accepted it on his behalf, and quickly asked Ah Fu to beat her shoulders, back, and massage for her. Coincidentally, later that day, a colleague of mine from the university, who also majored in the same psychological counseling, went to the shop for a haircut.Ah Fu and Mrs. Huizi were in the inner room, and a group of male customers and the proprietress kept making fun of Ah Fu in the outer room of the shop, causing a lot of trouble.Because my colleague knew Ah Fu, he didn't pay attention to what the people were saying, but he paid great attention to Ah Fu's emotions inside.He vaguely heard Ah Fu pleading for something from Mrs. Huizi, but Mrs. Huizi giggled and occasionally said a few words, but there was a sense of coldness in her tone. Because my colleague was a little tired, in order to relieve boredom, he took out a horse racing magazine and read it. When he relaxed physically and mentally, he became a little hazy.I could vaguely hear Ah Fu begging for something, and Mrs. Huizi seemed to be a little angry. He was in a daze like this for a long time, and suddenly he heard a scream from the woman inside, like a pig being killed, which was creepy.The noisy shop suddenly fell silent, and everyone's heart skipped a beat, as if the air had also froze. Mrs. Huizi howled, covered her left face, and jumped out screaming. The white face covered with her fingers was full of bright red blood.My friend, the shop owner, and some customers rushed into the room, and saw Ah Fu's body slumped limply along the base of the wall. A razor was hanging down feebly, dripping with blood. Looking towards the ground, in the steaming blood, a bright red ear is still squirming slightly, that beautiful and exquisite ear... The proprietress called the police, surveyed the scene, collected evidence and took photos, Ah Fu was taken away by the criminal police.Since then, barbershops have also been forced to close down.I tried to find out about Ah Fu, but I didn't have a clue. In the spring of the following year, Momoi's barbershop moved, but Ah Fu still hadn't disappeared.April is the season of cherry blossoms. The old site of Momoi Barbershop has been built into a karaoke bar. The business is booming. I asked the proprietress of the bar and familiar customers for information, but I still couldn't get the essentials.It was as if Momoi Barber Shop and Ah Fu never existed at all.I feel incredible. Another year passed, and A Fu was still missing.I think I will never see Ah Fu again.This year was the Great Earthquake in Kobe, Kansai, Japan. The cherry trees on the street, instead of the snow-white color of previous years, bloomed crimson and crimson, as if they had been moistened with blood. The cherry blossoms are blooming, The cherry blossoms are falling, Cherry blossoms contain sentimentality, joy and hope for life, deeper than all lust, all pursuit and disillusionment. The coffee was finished, and the case of Dr. Cong Changmin ended here. There were two empty cups left on the table, reflecting a faint dark blue light under the reflection of the light...