Chapter 12 Chapter 11 Mental Manipulation for Energizing

Everyone has "identity awareness". During the conversation, the other party should feel that he is very important, and he should not arouse the other party's sense of inferiority.A simple sentence "I have something to ask you" can make the other party enthusiastic and work hard. In the United States, two brothers ran for governor at the same time.What the elder brother does is to give voters fans, calendars, or kisses on the faces of children, in order to win the favor of voters and establish an image of a very enthusiastic candidate.The younger brother is unconventional.Whenever he expresses his political views, he must touch his pocket first, and then ask the people present: "Who is willing to give me a cigarette?" As a result, his younger brother won the election.What an honor to give something to a great statesman in terms of the mindset of the electorate.Therefore, the younger brother received fanatical support.

People in the lower classes of society always have a sense of humble status relative to those in the higher classes.The younger brother's request implied that the high-ranking people were downgraded to the low-ranking ones.Changes in this relationship can naturally reverse the sense of antagonism in voters' hearts and move people's hearts. A similar approach can also straighten out interpersonal relationships at work.For example, when issuing orders to male subordinates, you can first say "I want to ask for one thing" and then say the content.Although it is just a simple sentence, if used frequently, it can make a lazy employee work hard or appease a rebellious employee.

When people's sense of inferiority is transformed into a sense of superiority, they feel exalted, which is the effect of language change. The tone of the conversation is different, and the emotional response of the other party will also be different.A commanding tone often makes people unhappy, but a questioning tone can make people angry. For example, it is not easy to capture the best opportunity to capture the posture of a child playing the piano.If you say in a commanding tone: "You play the bass key!" The child must not be very happy and natural.On the contrary, if you ask in a questioning tone: "Can you play the low key?" The child will confidently hit the low key for the purpose of expressing himself, providing an excellent posture and expression for photography.

This situation also applies to adults.If you want to inspire the thinking and judgment of the subordinates and encourage them to work hard, it is not appropriate to use an imperative tone, but an inquiry tone instead to make the other party feel good.However, it should be noted that the questioning method will only work if you know the person well.In addition, it should be noted that the effect of unexpected inquiries will be multiplied. In certain social groups that are gender-neutral, sexual obsession tends to be debilitating.Telling some jokes innocuously can help people relieve worries and enhance work efficiency.

Famous scholar Zhou Gucheng once said that humor emerges when wisdom exceeds need.This sentence reveals the essence of humor to a certain extent, that is, humor has attributes beyond utilitarianism.It is this attribute that can eliminate people's various troubles and unhappiness, and restore balance to the tense spirit.Therefore, when people are under various pressures, it is necessary to make jokes and activate the atmosphere.Of course, jokes should be done in moderation and not too vulgar. There are many people in the world who are troubled by their own flaws.In fact, their deficiencies will only appear under certain conditions. Help them recognize this fact, and they will be able to actively change themselves.

A young man said to a psychological counseling doctor: "I am a person who blush at every turn..." The psychiatrist asked him: "What are you often embarrassed about?" After the young man said everything in detail, he concluded that he only blushed to elders or strangers.Therefore, he is not a "person who blushes at every turn", it should be said that he "blushes sometimes". People who are troubled by "I am a person of ..., therefore ..." may wish to persuade him in this way. Helping those in trouble, dispelling pessimism is a top priority.Clearly pointing out two paths for him to choose can encourage his courage to fight back.

The so-called two roads simply summarize the ways out of the troubled people into two kinds, one is the negative choice of giving up on oneself, and the other is the positive choice of getting out of the predicament.This simplistic approach of listing complex issues as "either or not" makes it easier for people to make decisions, and it has repeatedly worked in specific applications. For example, for operators who are on the verge of bankruptcy and those who have failed the college entrance examination, the only way to get them out of the predicament is to tell them frankly: "You have only two choices now, be yourself or make up your mind to take action. You decide for yourself!"

In the face of such an ultimatum-like statement, it is difficult for the other party to say "I will surrender myself", but instead say "Okay! I will work hard!" To comfort those who have failed in persuasion, don't ignore the facts and blindly speak optimistic words.First moderately affirm the pessimistic reality, and then encourage with optimistic words, you can rekindle the other party's hope. After the college entrance examination every year, there are often students who fail the exam and are extremely sad that a year's hard work has come to naught.This kind of despair is by no means dispelled by a few good words, but if the consolation is appropriate, it can at least give them the courage to fight for another year.

When consoling, according to the actual situation of the other party, you must first express an appropriate pessimistic view, and then proceed to persuasion, avoid the speech sequence of "optimistic view-optimistic view", and use the speech of "pessimistic view-optimistic view" order.For example, "That matter itself is difficult, but you have no problem" and "You have no problem, that matter is indeed difficult" are the same in content, but because of the different order of language, the psychological effects are quite different The difference is that optimistic words are placed at the end, which will keep optimistic views in the other party's mind.

It only takes a few conscious uses of this method, and the conscious repetition of stirring up the remaining hope in any one, to inspire courage in the other. Criticizing others in a commanding tone is mostly ineffective.Objectively pointing out the fault of the other party, and adding "I don't want you to be like this" can prompt the other party to reflect on themselves. For prohibitions or orders, most people always have three reactions: resistance, mechanical obedience, and evasion. It is difficult to reflect on this and actively improve.Only by observing the problem from an objective standpoint can one calmly evaluate one's own actions, and then consciously restrain and improve one's own behavior.For example, if a wife wants to change her husband's bad behavior, she doesn't have to keep nagging and making her husband angry or anxious. She only needs one sentence: "I don't think the person I love is that kind of person." You can say to a subordinate who is doing poorly: "Maybe there is something wrong with my mentoring method, and I don't want you to be like this."

But be aware that when using this method, your partner may mistake you for being sarcastic or sarcastic.Therefore, we should talk about the truth before using this method.Otherwise, not only will it be impossible to convince the other party, but it may also result in the consequence of breaking up the relationship. To ask others to do things, you should first affirm the level and strength of the other party, and then put forward higher goals, so as to stimulate the creativity and enthusiasm of the other party. Hideko Maebata, the gold medalist in swimming at the Berlin Olympics, had such a short story. Four years before the Berlin Olympics, the 18-year-old Hideko Maeda won the silver medal at the Los Angeles Olympics by 0.1 seconds.At the celebration, the mayor of Tokyo had a conversation with Maeda. "Are you happy to finish second?" "Of course, I never even dreamed that I would win the silver medal. I surpassed the new record set in Japan by more than 6 seconds..." "Really? Don't you feel sorry? You should feel unconvinced, you are only 0.1 seconds away. Since you can shorten it by 6 seconds, why don't you break through 7 seconds? Then you can win the gold medal? How? Whether to rewrite it at the next Berlin Olympics The record? To win the gold medal by 0.1 seconds." It is said that Hideko Maehata gave up the idea of ​​​​retiring because of these few words, and challenged hard to 0.1 seconds, thus winning the gold medal in the Berlin Olympics. Therefore, to arouse the enthusiasm of others, it is best not to suppress the other party with your own arbitrary ideas, but to let the other party intentionally march towards a higher goal.First of all, fully affirm the opponent's strength, and then say, "With your ability, there is absolutely no problem with this matter." This is the starter to arouse the opponent's enthusiasm. Unrelenting criticism is often counterproductive.Adopt the method of "affirmation-criticism-encouragement", and the other party will be convinced. There is a famous music critic in Japan, whose comment method is unique and very popular.Its approach is: the first stage affirms that the other party sings very well, the second stage proposes areas for improvement, and the third stage encourages the other party to "pretty good, I hope to improve it." This kind of comment makes most singers enjoy themselves And return.Because ordinary people are extremely happy as long as they can be watched by famous artists, let alone being praised by famous artists?This type of commentary is frustrating and is loved by many. The brilliance of this critic is that he has heart-warming words before and after the severe criticism, so the persuaded will not have resistance, but will increase the enthusiasm of "trying harder".In other words, his comments make the subject of the comment work towards a new goal, which is equivalent to "sugar-coated bitter medicine"