Chapter 84 TECHNIQUE 75 Trace
Over the past few decades, movies may have changed, but human nature has not changed at all.Everyone thinks he is a star in a movie in the 1940s, and every little event in life is memorable, "I am the protagonist, and the whole world is the supporting role."
What you eat for breakfast, which pair of shoes you wear, whether you pick your teeth with a toothpick, these small things may be more important to each party than a coup in a distant country, or global warming.
In order to create a sense of closeness between people, a good communicator remembers the small details of a friend's life.They don't feign interest in what other people eat for breakfast, what shoes they wear, or whether they use a toothpick.But in order to make each other feel like big stars, they will remember the little things that happened to each other.
This is a practice worth emulating. Suppose your client says he eats cereal for breakfast, and you can bring it up later.When chatting one day, if the boss tells you that she wears a pair of uncomfortable shoes to work, you can care about it in a few days.If a client mentions that he must floss, another day you might as well praise his self-discipline.Doing so is actually implying to the other party that among all the living beings you meet, he is someone worth remembering.This technique is called "tracking" someone else's life.Tracking down the little things in each other's lives will make them feel like a big 40s star, and every plot point in their life movie is your object of attention.
Politicians have their own methods of tracking.Whether it is on the desk, in the hard drive or in the head, they must have a black box to record the new situation or idea of each old friend.Politicians know exactly where their friends were, what they said and did the last time they saw them.The next time you meet, or call this person, the politician will drop the relevant information as soon as they open their mouths.
Follow the details of your conversation partner's life like an air traffic controller, paying attention to every detail.Then incorporate those little details into your conversation as compelling fresh stories.Doing so creates a sense of intimacy with each other. When you tell the little things about the other person's life last time, you will unknowingly affirm the other person deeply, turning them into heroes in old movies.They'll love you to death because you recognize their star status.
Showing concern for the details of someone's previous life is tantamount to confirming their long-held belief that they are the most important people in the world.One of the most powerful ways to track is to remember the date of the other person's special personal accomplishment.There's nothing like an anniversary card to remember. Also, remembering what other people are passionate about is a practice.A few years ago, I was writing regularly for a magazine.My editor, Kelly, had just adopted a kitten, named Kookie, and she was so excited about it.I met Kylie at a writers talk recently, and I asked her, "Is Kookie big now? Is he okay?" Kelly smiled in surprise. "Lil," she screamed, "I can't believe you remember Kookie. It was good..." Then Kelly talked about Kookie for 10 minutes. So how do politicians manage to remember so many little things about so many people?They use the following trick.
Follow the details of your conversation partner's life like an air traffic controller, paying attention to every detail.Then incorporate those little details into your conversation as compelling fresh stories.Doing so creates a sense of intimacy with each other. When you tell the little things about the other person's life last time, you will unknowingly affirm the other person deeply, turning them into heroes in old movies.They'll love you to death because you recognize their star status.
Showing concern for the details of someone's previous life is tantamount to confirming their long-held belief that they are the most important people in the world.One of the most powerful ways to track is to remember the date of the other person's special personal accomplishment.There's nothing like an anniversary card to remember. Also, remembering what other people are passionate about is a practice.A few years ago, I was writing regularly for a magazine.My editor, Kelly, had just adopted a kitten, named Kookie, and she was so excited about it.I met Kylie at a writers talk recently, and I asked her, "Is Kookie big now? Is he okay?" Kelly smiled in surprise. "Lil," she screamed, "I can't believe you remember Kookie. It was good..." Then Kelly talked about Kookie for 10 minutes. So how do politicians manage to remember so many little things about so many people?They use the following trick.