Chapter 50 TECHNIQUE 44 LEARN THE SAME
A chaffinch flaps its wings much faster than a gliding eagle.Among humans, everyone behaves differently.For example, in the United States, people who come from the wide plains of the Midwest are used to keeping a little distance when standing with other people.City people are used to standing closer to people because they squeeze sardines in the bus and subway every day.In addition, Asian-Americans tend to use more subtle gestures when speaking, while Italian-Americans tend to use more and more gestures.
When drinking afternoon tea, the students of the etiquette school first bowed their knees and saluted each other before sitting gracefully on the sofa. When these ladies held the cups, they held the saucer in one hand and hooked the cup in the other, with their little fingers slightly raised.When people who have never been to etiquette school drink afternoon tea, they sit on the sofa, grab the teacup with both hands, and pour it into their mouths.
What is right and what is wrong?Neither situation is right or wrong.However, good communicators know that no matter whether you are negotiating with a well-mannered elegant lady or a carefree and bold person, you will do what the other party does.I have a friend, Jenny, who travels the country giving seminars called "How to Marry (Marry) a Rich Man."Once, when she was in a Las Vegas casino, a reporter asked her if she could really tell the difference between a real millionaire and a fake one.
"Of course." Jenny replied.
"Okay," the reporter immediately asked Jenny a difficult question, "Who is the richest person in this room?" There were three men sitting at the next table, each wearing a designer-tailored suit and a hand-sewn shirt. Sipping whiskey of the highest order.The reporter thought that Jenny would definitely choose one of the three most likely candidates.
Jenny's sharp gaze scanned the entire room.Then, like a hunting dog, she instinctively extended her Kodan-painted finger, pointed at the man in the ragged jeans sitting in the corner, and murmured, "He's rich."
Watch people closely to see what characterizes their behavior.Is the movement small or large?Fast or slow?Are the movements clumsy or smooth?Acting youthful or old?Exuding elegance or lame wimp? Now, pretend that the other person is your dance teacher. Is he dancing jazz steps?Or ballet?Watch his body language carefully, then mimic his demeanor.In this way, the other person will subconsciously feel comfortable with you.
For a moment, the reporter was dumbfounded, and he asked Jenny: "How do you know?" "He behaves like a man who has been rich for a long time," Jenny explained, "Some people can tell that they have been rich since childhood, some people look like they have recently made a fortune, and some people can tell that they have nothing to do at a glance. "Jenny found the rich man in the corner who looked least like a rich man at a glance, and it was all revealed by his behavior.
Watch people closely to see what characterizes their behavior.Is the movement small or large?Fast or slow?Are the movements clumsy or smooth?Acting youthful or old?Exuding elegance or lame wimp? Now, pretend that the other person is your dance teacher. Is he dancing jazz steps?Or ballet?Watch his body language carefully, then mimic his demeanor.In this way, the other person will subconsciously feel comfortable with you.
For a moment, the reporter was dumbfounded, and he asked Jenny: "How do you know?" "He behaves like a man who has been rich for a long time," Jenny explained, "Some people can tell that they have been rich since childhood, some people look like they have recently made a fortune, and some people can tell that they have nothing to do at a glance. "Jenny found the rich man in the corner who looked least like a rich man at a glance, and it was all revealed by his behavior.