Chapter 22 Tip 19 Rotating Spotlight
A few years ago, a female friend and I attended a dinner party full of well-lived and elegant people.For everyone we talked to, life seemed to be full of fun.After the party, I asked my friend, "Diane, there are so many interesting people at the party today, who do you like to talk to the most?"
She said without thinking: "Oh, it goes without saying, of course it is Dan Smith."
"What does he do?" I asked her.
"Well, I don't know."
"where does he live?"
"I don't know."
"Then what are his interests?"
"We didn't talk about his interest."
"Diane," I asked her, "what the hell were you talking about?"
"Most of them are talking about me!"
aha!Diane just played a born winner, I said to myself.
Later, I finally had the honor to meet this master, Dan Smith.That was after a few months.As Diane's neglect of his life piqued my curiosity even more, I was determined to dig out the details.It turned out that Dan lived in Paris, had a seaside villa in the south of France, and a vacation home in the Alps.He often travels around the world, planning sound and light shows for pyramids and other monuments.He is passionate about rock climbing and diving.Is this man's life interesting enough?But when Dan met Diane, he didn't talk about himself at all.
I told Dan that Diane was happy to know him but didn't know much about his life.Dan replied, "Every time I meet someone and ask them about their lives, I always learn something. So I always turn the spotlight on others." This is the style of truly confident people.They know that listening is more rewarding than talking.Obviously, they are also very good at winning the heart of the speaker.
A few months ago, at a speaker conference, I was chatting with a colleague of mine, Brian Tracy.Brian's job is to train top business people.He told the students that a huge spotlight shining on the product is not as useful as shining on the customer.The moment a salesperson shines the spotlight on a customer, the deal may be closed.
Dear business people, this technique is especially useful for you.Remember, your rotating spotlight should not shine on yourself, occasionally it can shine on the product, but most of the light should be aimed at your buyers.This is more useful than trying to sell yourself or your product.
When you first meet someone, imagine there's a giant spinning spotlight between you.When you speak, the spotlight shines on you.As soon as the new friend opened his mouth, the lamp shone on him.If the spotlight is bright enough, the other person will lose sight of the fact that you hardly ever talk about yourself.The less time the spotlight shines on you, the more interesting you will be to the other person.
When you first meet someone, imagine there's a giant spinning spotlight between you.When you speak, the spotlight shines on you.As soon as the new friend opened his mouth, the lamp shone on him.If the spotlight is bright enough, the other person will lose sight of the fact that you hardly ever talk about yourself.The less time the spotlight shines on you, the more interesting you will be to the other person.