Chapter 12 10 Hidden Ones in the Darkness

Following the sound, I pushed open the study door and saw my partner leaning over the desk writing something in his notebook. Sitting in front of him with his back to me was a woman with long black hair. Hearing me come in, my partner said without looking up: "I'm back, this is the hypnotist." Obviously, he didn't mean it to me. The woman turned her head. She didn't look very old, she was a girl in her twenties, she was thin and a little frail, she was dressed in black, and her face looked a little pale. The girl nodded to me. I put the things in my hand aside, nodded my head in response, and then sat down on the small sofa by the door: "Go on."

The partner let out a "huh" and wrote down something in the notebook, then raised his head and looked at the girl in black: "Okay, you can continue." She: "Well, I just said that it started about four or five years ago..." Partner: "In other words, it should be after you turn 20?" She nodded: "Yes. Once I matched a black dress, and when I looked in the mirror, I found that I had never felt so good. So, since then, I have only worn black clothes." Partner: "Uh... including jewelry and underwear?" Her: "Including." Partner: "I heard from your fiancé that the bedding and daily necessities in your house are all black?"

Her: "Yes, both. I couldn't resist buying all black clothing and household items. I almost painted the room black..." The partner frowned: "Where are the kitchen appliances? There are black refrigerators and washing machines?" She: "The refrigerator is black, and I ordered a black cover for the washing machine." Partner: "Has your fiancé ever objected?" She: "I'm almost used to it now, and sometimes I can say a word or two." Partner: "What about the light sources in your room? Little or very dim?" She: "Are you talking about lights? We don't have many lights in our house, but they are not too dark. There is still the necessary brightness. But I don't like to turn on a lot when I'm alone at home. I only turn on a small light at most."

Partner: "Only turn on a small light at most? You mean, there are still cases where the light is not turned on?" She: "Well... yes... when you don't need to do anything, you don't turn on any lights..." Partner: "Evening?" Her: "Yeah." Partner: "Is that always the case?" She seemed to be thinking: "Almost... maybe..." Partner: "Are you the only child of your parents?" Her: "Yeah." Partner: "Do they prefer black?" She does not." Partner: "According to your knowledge, do any of your relatives have this hobby?"

She tilted her head and thought for a while: "It seems not." Partner: "If possible, would you replace everything you use with black?" She: "Well... basically changed... the desk has been covered with a black tablecloth..." Partner: "Is the company allowed?" She: "This...it's okay, because we are an art and design company, so we don't interfere with everyone's workstation style, as long as it doesn't go too far, it doesn't matter." The partner looked at the notepad in his hand: "At present, you are not limited to black, you also like darkness, right? You also said just now that sometimes you don't even turn on the lights at home."

She paused for a moment: "Yes, I will feel very comfortable that way." Partner: "Do you have any more specific feelings?" Her: "Specifically... I just feel comfortable in the dark, and only in the dark can I fully stretch my body." Partner: "Stretch? How about a stretch?" She: "It's not really stretching, it's just a description, that is... Only in the dark can I feel the feeling of stretching my body, and I usually feel very uncomfortable." Partner: "Do you feel uncomfortable in a bright place?" She: "Yes, so I try to minimize the time I spend in places with light."

Partner: "To what extent do you reject bright environments? Escape?" Her: "Yes, it's almost like that." Partner: "Specifically? I mean how does it feel in a bright environment?" She: "I can't say it well... I just feel uncomfortable and insecure... probably..." Partner: "I heard from your fiancé that you once planned to turn your skin color into a darker color?" She: "Well... yes. For a while last year, I asked a lot of plastic surgeons if they could make my skin tone darker. They said yes, but they didn't agree with me. It is more difficult to turn white, and it is not good for the body. My body is relatively weak, so I haven't looked for it again...but..."

Partner: "But what?" Her: "But I still want to..." Partner: "Turn the complexion dark?" Her: "Yeah." The partner stopped writing and looked up at her with a confused expression on his face, which is rare: "Basically all women want to make their skin fairer, and you are the opposite..." She: "I also know that this is not very normal, but I just like black, and I like dark environments. Later, I also felt that something was wrong. It was... because... well... a while ago, sometimes, I would be in the middle of the night When I woke up suddenly, I found...found..."

Partner: "What?" It was obvious that she was hesitating: "Without this matter, I would not have promised my boyfriend to come to you. Although I may not be normal in the eyes of others, I thought it was very good. Until this matter... Sometimes when I think about it, I feel that there might be something wrong, so I agreed to come here... Can you not tell my boyfriend what I want to say?" Partner: "No problem, you can rest assured." She: "Well... There were a few times when I woke up in the middle of the night and found myself squatting on the head of the bed...or...or in a corner of the room..."

Partner: "You mean, you have behavior similar to sleepwalking?" She: "It shouldn't be sleepwalking... I can't tell. It seems that when I was half asleep, someone told me to hide, and then I ran to a certain corner..." Hearing this, I couldn't help but feel the pain behind my back. There was a chill. The partner's face became more serious: "Do you know who made you hide in the corner?" She: "I don't know... I was half asleep and half awake at that time... Isn't this considered sleepwalking?" Partner: "It's hard to say. When that kind of thing happens, do you feel scared?"

She: "If you don't do it, you will be afraid. If you hide in the corner according to what the voice told me, you won't be afraid." Partner: "Around how many times?" She lowered her head and thought about it carefully: "Three or four times? I don't remember clearly." Partner: "What about when you're fully awake? Stay in the corner of the room or go back to bed?" Her: "I will stay for a while and then go back." Partner: "Why?" Her: "Because I feel good in the dark." Partner: "You don't feel scared at all?" She: "Not at all, it's safe." Partner: "You must have checked what's going on yourself, right?" Her: "I checked. I also want to know why I am different from others, why I like black and dark so much. Then I checked some books and said that it is the habit of vampires... I know you will find it funny, but... ...can you understand that feeling? I only feel comfortable in the dark, and then... and then... I think maybe I'm not human, maybe I'm something else, I mean used to living in the dark The creatures of the... probably? Don't laugh at me..." Partner: "How is that possible? When you feel that something is wrong with you, you start looking for those medieval books about religion and those vampires, right?" She nodded. Partner: "Then, do you like to see blood?" Her: "Blood? Blood? No." Partner: "Well... let's put it this way, your fiancé was terrified by your actions, including the books you read, so he came to us for help." She lowered her head: "I know, we quarreled about this, and for a while, we almost broke off our engagement because of these things... It's not his fault, I really like black and dark... ..." The partner looked at her in bewilderment, was silent for a while, and asked a question to ease the atmosphere: "Aren't you afraid of garlic and crosses?" She chuckled: "No." Partner: "Okay, I have understood the situation. Now, you can rest for a while and let me discuss it with the hypnotist. Do you think it's okay?" Her: "Okay." She stood up, and I noticed that she was not thinner, but very thin. Partner: "So, where would you feel more comfortable staying? Here? Or the hypnosis room you just saw?" She glanced at the window: "here, there are few and small windows here...can you close the curtains?" Partner: "Yes, but it's better to turn on the light." He pointed to the lamp on the table. "Yeah." The girl nodded. Our partner winked, and the two of us left the study and went to the observation room that was separated from the hypnosis room. After entering the door, the partner threw the notebook in his hand aside, sat on the table by himself, and crossed his legs on it. I've grown accustomed to his virtues—his legs crossed, his back arched, his elbows on his knees, his chin resting on his knuckles when he's thinking deeply. It seemed that the girl's situation had stumped him. Me: "I just heard a chill down my spine." Partner: "Well, this situation is indeed quite special and very puzzling." Me: "What's the point of hypnosis for a while? Is it the person who asked her to hide when she was half asleep? Or something else?" Partner: "I'm not sure..." Me: "You better be sure because she's waiting right there...or, shall we put it off until tomorrow?" Partner: "No, give me some time to think about it... At present... Although it seems that the problem should be found from the so-called 'sleepwalking', I instinctively feel that the root of the problem is not there..." Me: "You mean that also belongs to the appearance?" I am referring to a point of view in psychoanalysis, that is: the root of the problem will not stay in the appearance, otherwise it will not be called the "root". Partner: "I can't tell. At first I thought it was some events in her life that made her lose her sense of security, but when we talked, I didn't find that there was a hidden fear of something or someone in her character... ...that's where the problem lies..." Me: "Indeed, besides, there is no suppressed emotion in her speech." The partner murmured: "So I don't understand. According to her preferences, there should be something wrong with what she showed, but through the conversation just now and her speech and behavior, I think she is normal. A very ordinary girl... this is not normal, why is it like this? Could it be that there is... a hidden part of her character that has not been discovered?" Me: "Isn't hypnosis dangerous if there's an underlying part of her character?" The partner raised his head slightly and looked at me cautiously: "Yes..." Me: "Why don't you... propose to let her have a comprehensive physical examination instead of hypnosis and psychotherapy?" Partner: "Why do you say that? Do you think her physique...are you bringing my thoughts to the supernatural?" Me: "I don't think so, but I did feel a little chill just now..." My partner gave me a disdainful look and shook his head: "You are so unprofessional." Me: "My major is a hypnotist, but just after listening to her, I think she needs an exorcist..." My partner didn't seem to be listening to my joke, but continued to mutter to himself: "Do you want to hypnotize her in a completely dark environment?" Me: "I don't want to take the risk..." Halfway through, I stopped, because his current appearance meant that he had entered a state similar to self-hypnosis-for deep thinking.Based on my experience, I know very well that any subjective remarks of others in this situation will interrupt his train of thought, so the best way is to simply echo in vain, which I slowly figured out. Partner: "What does black...darkness... mean?" Me: "There must be some meaning." Partner: "Dark...dark complexion...why would she do that?" Me: "There should be a reason." Partner: "Replace everything around her with something black...that is to say, she is actually simulating a dark environment...then the problem should be the darkness itself..." Me: "Well, darkness itself." Partner: "Wearing clothes in black... wanting to turn my skin color black... it's actually the same... right?" Me: "You're right." Partner: "So...doing this...are you merging yourself into the darkness?" Me: "That makes sense." Partner: "Someone asked her to hide...into the darkness...in the corner...in the darkness...to hide..." Speaking of this, he came back to his senses, raised his head and looked at me hesitantly, with something flickering in his eyes.That's exactly what I was looking for. Me: "Mastery? Or close?" The partner was stunned for a while, then slowly revealed a sly smile.He jumped off the table and walked back and forth with his hands in his trouser pockets: "Psychological problems are complicated because many times the original motives are locked away from prying eyes, but the real point is not here, because those The original motive is not only locked, but hidden. So the real problem is: find where the lock is hidden..." I smiled and waited silently for him to continue. Partner: "...replacing all daily necessities with black is actually simulating a dark environment; the essence of black clothes and black skin is to let herself blend into the darkness—that is to say, she needs to hide herself. Currently It seems that it is still a kind of hiding that seems to have no target of fear. Although this seems to be very clear, and it can be used to find a solution, a new question arises: why did she do this? The answer is ...she was trying to undo something through these actions." Me: "Eliminate what?" My partner stopped and looked at me with squinted eyes: "People show off, check Weibo, find all kinds of excitement, log in to various social networking sites and leave their instant messages... Do you know why they do this?" Me: "Why do you do that? Well... you mean the sense of presence?" Partner: "Yeah, people are trying to prove their existence. This girl is doing the opposite. She is trying to eliminate her existence." Me: "Why does she want to eliminate her sense of existence?" Partner: "Although there is no direct evidence, I can still infer that." Me: "Conclusion?" Partner: "Her act of 'eliminating the sense of self-existence' actually hides a deeper subconscious: self-denial." Me: "You mean..." The partner grinned. "This is the lock." The girl sat quietly on the big sofa, watching me and my partner set up the camera with a curious expression. "Does the hypnosis need to be videotaped?" she asked. Partner: "Yes, it is required." Her: "Why?" Me: "The video can be used as one of the reference materials for repeated analysis, and sometimes some problems that were ignored at the time can be found. At the same time, the whole video recording is also to restrain the hypnotist himself—referring to bad hints." She smiled faintly: "It's really interesting." Me: "You can rest assured about the issue of privacy protection, the video will not be leaked - unless you give permission. In addition, you can keep a backup for yourself." As I said that, I looked at my partner. He sat not far behind the girl, opened the book in his hand, and nodded to me. I know it's time to start. Just after confirming the "lock", I discussed it with my partner and decided to focus on her childhood for hypnosis.Because certain childhood events may produce distorted impressions and feelings in the eyes of children whose minds are not yet fully developed, and then gradually become subconscious and buried as time goes by.Gradually, the interference caused by other factors such as memory bias and growth will, without exception, magnify the distorted impressions and feelings that were left deep in the heart many times—big enough to affect a person's behavior.Of course, not all psychological problems and abnormal behaviors are caused by this situation, but this is the most suspect.So we decided to start here. "...when you push open that door, you can see the things that left the deepest impression on your childhood..." "3..." Her whole body seemed to relax, and her body slowly leaned back. "2……" She lowered her head, breathing evenly and slowly. "1……" My partner nodded to me. Me: "Can you hear me?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Tell me what you saw?" She: "I saw... Mom and Dad are arguing..." Me: "Do you know what they are arguing about?" She: "I can't hear clearly... It seems... It seems to be very chaotic, and there are many noises..." Me: "What noise?" She: "Yes...someone is talking..." Me: "Is anyone else present besides your parents?" Her: "No..." Me: "Well, can you hear what they are saying?" She seemed a little hesitant: "Maybe...maybe you're talking about me..." Me: "What did you say?" She: "...are saying..." The partner put the notebook on his lap, put his arms around his shoulders, looked up with his eyes closed, and looked as if he was asleep. She: "Those voices are...accusing...Dad..." Me: "What are you accusing?" Her: "They say... boy... son..." I react quickly for a few seconds: "They want you to be a boy? Do you?" Her: "Yes..." Me: "Is the person who said those words a relative of yours?" She: "... yes... it's my aunt..." Me: "Can you hear what your dad said?" She: "He...he and mother...are arguing..." Me: "Now can you hear what they are arguing about?" She: "I can hear...a little bit." Me: "Is the content about you too?" Her: "It's...about me..." Me: "They want another baby, don't they?" Her: "Yes..." Me: "Your mother doesn't agree, does she?" She is……" Me: "What did she say?" She: "Mom said... said... she herself was discriminated against since she was a child, so she didn't want... didn't want me to have such a...environment...so..." Me: "Can you hear what your dad said?" She: "He... said it was embarrassing..." At this moment, the partner opened his eyes and frowned. Me: "So they fight, right?" Her: "Yes..." Me: "Can you see yourself?" Her: "I can see..." Me: "How old did you look then?" She: "... about... about three or four years old." I paused and looked at my partner, who was shaking his head—meaning he didn't think he had really figured it out yet. I thought about it, and then asked: "Do they quarrel a lot because of you?" She: "I don't know...it seems...it doesn't seem to be many..." Me: "Apart from their quarrel, what else did you see?" She shook her head slightly: "Mom... is talking to me..." what did I say?" She: "Mom wants me to hide..." Me: "Hiding? Are you playing a game?" She: "No...not playing games..." Me: "What is that?" Her: "Mom wants me...to talk less...to do less movement..." Me: "Why do you want to do this?" She: "Because... because, everyone is here." Me: "Everyone? Is it your relatives?" Her: "Yes..." Me: "Does she not want you to be noticed?" She: "Mom told me to be good...so that I won't...be told...by others." Just as I was about to ask more questions, my partner lightly raised the notebook and showed me a large line of writing on it.I understood and nodded. Me: "When you were around 20 years old, did your parents quarrel?" She seemed to have some resistance and twitched like a spasm: "It seems... I don't know..." I decided to ask in reverse: "No?" she has……" Me: "I mentioned you?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Is it the content of their quarrel when you were four or five years old?" She: "Not exactly, it's just... mentioned." Me: "Were you there when they were arguing?" Her: "No... I'm in my room..." Me: "What are you doing?" Her: "I'm...I'm crying..." Me: "Why are you crying?" She sighed lightly: "Because... because if there is no me, I can have a younger brother... I am... despised." At this time, the partner breathed a sigh of relief, and then raised his hand to make an OK gesture. Me: "Very good, this is just a dream, you are leaving this dream, when I count to '3', you will wake up from hypnosis..." Her: "I'll wake up..." "1……" I paid attention to her slight body movements and emotions, and it seemed that everything was normal. "2……" The partner stood up silently, frowning and looking at the girl's back. "3." She opened her eyes, looked around in confusion, and then at me: "It started?" I'm used to this kind of mild temporary reverse amnesia: "No, it's over. You performed well, I know you feel a little tired, it's normal, just go back and take a rest." After seeing the girl off, I went back to the hypnosis room, and my partner was looking down at what was written in the notebook. "Is it clear this time?" I opened the curtains one by one. Partner: "Yeah, but it's more complicated than I thought." Me: "Can you tell me?" "Yeah." He took his eyes off the notebook in his hand and looked up at me. I pull the chair back a little, sit down, and wait. Partner: "This girl's self-denial stems from the sexism of blood relatives. This root is buried deep, so there is no abnormal behavior in her behavior during the conversation, which made me unable to see through what caused her behavior at first. Unusual motivation." I nodded: "Well, just judging from the conversation, she is a normal girl, but this normality is not normal. Because her hobbies are too weird." Partner: "That's right, so if you don't use hypnosis, I'm afraid it will take a lot of trouble to understand what's going on." Me: "Then you mean you can be sure now? Her abnormal behavior is because of those talkative relatives in the family and the patriarchal tradition?" Partner: "No, no, not exactly, that's just an original point. What really caused her abnormal behavior was the amplification and diffusion later...Let's put it this way: when she knew that it came from the family's sexism, it produced' I'm not liked' idea, but it was her mother who really hit her." Me: "Huh? Oh, you mean the 'hiding' part?" He: "Exactly this. Although she witnessed the quarrel between her parents before, a three or four-year-old child cannot understand the pressure on her parents. That is to say, although this incident has affected her, it is not that big. After that, the restrictions put forward by the mother—speak less, move less in front of relatives, and try not to attract others’ attention—this imperative request undoubtedly magnified the content of her parents’ quarrel in her impression. So she would I mistakenly think that the mother’s request is actually equal to a certain degree of disgust. Because although the child cannot fully understand the discrimination from the family, the child instinctively knows that the purpose of doing so is to reduce his sense of existence in the eyes of others—to hide To get up—the act itself means disappearing, hiding, and even further evolving into the concept of 'non-existence'." Me: "So?" Partner: "So, although the bad-mouthed relatives in her family didn't directly have any serious psychological impact on her-after all, those remarks were more targeted at her parents, but her mother's warnings to her were true and true. It definitely affected her psychology. In addition, she had personally experienced the quarrels and content of her parents before, which further strengthened the conflict between her parents because of her in her memory. It was at that time that she completely and thoroughly determined that 'I It's a disliked idea." Me: "Hmm... is that so, that is to say, the distorted impression at that time has directly affected her current behavior?" The partner stood up and went to pour a glass of water: "No, it's okay even if it's like this, until the last straw appears." Me: "Which one?" Partner: "Did you forget? She didn't have this behavior until she was around 20 years old. Why? Because she just described that when her parents quarreled when she was around 20 years old, she brought up that topic again. But I believe he The reason why parents brought up this damn topic was actually just a dispute over daily trivial matters, and it was not aimed at her. But unfortunately, this time the quarrel that was not aimed at her happened to make her I heard it, and awakened the childhood memory from the subconscious level, and at the same time further strengthened the distorted impression. This was the last straw that really caused her abnormal behavior and hobbies. Therefore, it was also from that age, She is repeating her mother's order: 'hide yourself', make the surroundings black to simulate the darkness, wear black clothes, and even intend to dye her skin black to dissolve in the darkness...in order to eliminate the sense of existence." Me: "Well... that's it... But there's one more thing I don't understand." Partner: "What?" Me: "About sleepwalking... Maybe it's not sleepwalking... Why did she start to have that kind of thing in the last year or two? Why didn't she have it before?" Partner: "Because of the change of environment and identity." Me: "Huh? I don't understand." My partner patiently explained to me: "Well, there are a few small details you should remember: When referring to her fiancé, she used the word 'boyfriend', right? Why? I don't think it's It is because she has indirect resistance to marriage—for a woman, marriage also means childbirth in the near future. She is faintly worried that if she gives birth to a girl, will she face the difficulties of her parents? The problem you are facing? You know, this cannot be controlled and grasped. Because of this, the pressure from the subconscious and worrying about the future has also surfaced, so she showed the phenomenon similar to sleepwalking. Let’s take a look at the content of sleepwalking and it will be clear: to execute the command to 'hide'. However, the motive of this hiding is different from the previous 'elimination of the sense of existence'. Will have a baby and not face the pressures that parents used to have, right? Actually, we all know it's not sleepwalking, she admits it herself, it doesn't happen when she's asleep, it doesn't happen when she's awake time, but when half asleep and half awake..." Me: "Yes, that state is actually the time when the conscious and subconscious alternate before falling asleep." Partner: "That's right, this so-called 'sleepwalking' is nothing more than her subconscious directly guiding her behavior." Me: "Oh...the situation is a little complicated...then how do we solve her problem?" Partner: "Do you think suggestive hypnosis is okay? That's your field, and you have judgment." I thought about it seriously for a while: "I'm afraid it won't work. It's just a cover-up, not thorough enough." "Hmm..." He nodded, "Then, talk therapy?" Me: "Talk therapy... seems to work... but the cycle and effect cannot be determined. It's a bit passive. Everyone's mood will change every day." The partner frowned: "That's right...it's really...then what method is suitable for her?" Me: "I have a suggestion." Partner: "Tell me." Me: "Where the problem comes from, we can solve it from there." The partner put the cup to his lips and thought for a moment: "Let her parents intervene?" Me: "Including her fiance." Partner: "Is it necessary to mobilize so many teachers?" Me: "If you don't do this, it may lead to the expansion of abnormal behavior—refusing to marry simply because you refuse to have children? Is there such a possibility? So..." Partner: "Understood, you are right... Then, I will contact her fiancé tomorrow and explain the situation thoroughly. The fact that he came to us to solve the problem instead of choosing to give up is enough to prove that he should He is willing to cooperate... As for the girl's parents, let her fiancé help to communicate, so we will be much more relaxed." Me: "Okay, let's settle it like this..." I finally breathed a sigh of relief, "... By the way, I haven't seen you so serious in a few days." The partner put down the glass and stretched his waist: "I've always been serious." Me: "I don't think..." He lay down on the sofa and closed his eyes: "People always like to ignore the most important things, have you noticed?" Me: "Why do you say that?" Partner: "Almost every industry attaches great importance to human psychology, and even introduces innovative concept advertisements and strange sales behaviors to try to influence the audience's psychology, hoping to intervene in behavior. However, people ignore themselves at the same time. The psychological impact of words and deeds on the people around you..." Me: "There is a difference, one is business behavior and the other is daily behavior." Partner: "There is no difference. Isn't family important? If you can pay attention to your daily words and deeds, many family conflicts, family disputes, and psychological shadows caused by daily trivialities will not happen at all, right?" Me: "But this will be very tiring." Partner: "Then, won't you be tired when something goes wrong and there is nothing you can do?" Me: "This... I always feel that there seems to be something wrong, but I can't overthrow your sophistry." The partner smiled: "Admit it, all of us are just living in the present very selfishly, just muddling along."