Chapter 5 With the ability to love, leftover women "do not worry about marrying"

Finding and growing one's ability to love inwardly is not only for married couples, but also for unmarried people, because falling in love also requires the ability to love. I once received an email from a student. She was an unmarried older beauty who didn’t know how to be happy. For more than ten years, she has been struggling to find a boyfriend. She has met a lot of various men, some were introduced by relatives and friends, some met on social occasions, and some started contacting on dating websites, but none of them successful. In her opinion, the reason why she couldn't find a partner was quite simple. Either she didn't like others, or they didn't like herself, or she didn't have a good relationship.As I get older, my parents are also pushing me hard. When will this fate come?She has nothing in her heart.

Like many single students, when she came to the class, she was dubious and came with the mentality of trying it out. She also had no idea about my emotional coach and the course. But as long as a person is willing to grow herself, God will not treat her badly. After the course ended, a turning point appeared. When she was looking for a partner before, although she didn't have any special requirements, she would give up as soon as she found out that the other party had shortcomings, which made her miss some good men. Now, she understands that everyone is flawed and that it is impossible to find the perfect person.If you think you have found it, you will find out later that you were "blind".

As long as you have the ability to love and allow others to have some shortcomings like yourself, in fact, many people can live together. I eliminate others by myself and avoid the problems that may arise in living with them because I am unwilling to face the problems. When I look at people, I always focus on the shortcomings of others, and I cannot see the advantages of others.In fact, there are inevitably problems in life, and life is constantly solving problems.Problems sometimes cease to be problems when problem-solving skills improve. She deeply understands that a lover must be flawed, and while getting all the advantages he has, he must accept his imperfections.Only those who have the ability to love and believe in themselves enough can dare to accept these imperfect lovers.

Shortly after the course ended, she found her lover, and she accepted a "flaw" that she had never thought about before, that is, he had a child.After they secured their relationship, she wrote me a letter. This letter is not very long, I will extract part of it here and share it with you, and I hope that everyone can feel what she has learned about the true meaning of finding love: As a leftover woman, I used to keep changing love partners. I always hoped that others would be perfect, and refused to change myself; ;I always expect too much from the other party; I always want to sit back and reap the rewards and entrust the happiness of life on others...so I have never been able to find the happiness I want.

Now I understand that no one is perfect, and while accepting the other person's strengths, I also have to accept all of him, including his shortcomings.A happy and happy life is not given by others, but by yourself. You have to be responsible for your own happiness. These can only be obtained by constantly improving yourself and growing the ability to love. Happiness is to be sought inwardly, not outwardly. Around the time I started writing this book, I got a wedding invitation from her inviting me to her wedding. Things are often like this, when some people can’t get happiness and complain about how the society has gone wrong, how unreliable men are, and how unreliable women are, happiness is getting farther and farther away from them. Once they start seeking inwardly, they start to reflect When they grow up and improve their ability to love, happiness begins to come to them quietly.