Chapter 27 risk of death

I said that love is action, and that love is a struggle against laziness, against fear.Now, let's move from "Acts of Love" to "Courage to Love."Love means self-improvement, that is, letting the self enter an unfamiliar field to create a different and brand-new self.In the process, we are exposed to things that we have never been exposed to, and we are transformed by it.Unfamiliar surroundings, different rules and regulations, and unfamiliar people, objects, and activities can all cause us to face pain and, as a result, fear.Everyone has a way to fight against fear. We would rather refuse to change than endure the pain of change. At this time, what we need most is courage.Courage does not mean never being afraid, but being able to act calmly in the face of fear, overcoming fear, and striding towards the unknown future.In a sense, intellectual maturity (i.e., the essence of love) requires courage, as well as risk taking.

If you go to a church on a regular basis, you may have noticed this woman: She is nearly 50 years old. Every weekend morning, five minutes before the service starts, she will arrive at the church on time and sit in a chair at the back of the church. superior.No sooner had the liturgical service ended than she walked quietly and quickly to the door.The pastor presiding over the service came to the door of the church and greeted everyone, but she quickly disappeared without a trace like a ghost.If you approach her and invite her over for coffee and a chat, she'll thank you nervously and try to avoid eye contact with you.She'll tell you apologetically that she has an important date and then run away.If you follow her to see what important appointment she has, you will eventually be surprised to find that she walks straight home.This woman's residence is a small apartment, usually with doors and windows closed.As soon as she entered the house, she quickly locked the door, and did not appear in the church again until the next week.After an in-depth investigation, you learn that she works in a large company, working as a basic job as a typist.She obeys all arrangements of her boss and rarely expresses her opinions.She is unknown in the company, and she rarely makes mistakes in her work.Even at lunch, she never leaves her seat to communicate with the person next to her.She hardly had any friends and always walked home alone.Passing through the supermarket, she would go in to buy some daily necessities and food, then return home, close the doors and windows again, and would not go out again until she went to work the next day.On weekend afternoons, she might go to the cinema alone.Her house has a television, but not even a telephone.She also rarely corresponded with others.If you ever get a chance to tell her in person that she looks lonely and lonely, she'll answer you unequivocally: she likes the way she is.You ask her if she ever had a pet and she will tell you sadly that she once had a dog and she loved that dog very much, unfortunately her dog died eight years ago and she has never had one since dog.

She would add that the dog held an irreplaceable place in her heart. Who is this woman?We cannot know her secrets.We only know that she avoided human contact as much as she could, did not want to risk dealing with others, and never thought about self-improvement.She would rather make the image smaller and smaller, even if it is like a shadow.She wants to be left alone and unknown. Apart from church, she had no object of concentration.Cathethism is not equal to real love, but cathexis is the starting point of love after all.Giving concentration to something, you may face rejection or loss; getting close to someone, you may experience the danger of losing the other person, and you will return to the lonely and lonely state again.If the other party is some kind of living thing, whether it is a person, a pet or a potted plant, they may die suddenly.If you trust or rely on someone, you may suffer great harm because of the death of the other person.One of the costs of focusing seems to be that sooner or later you are going to make yourself miserable because of the death or departure of the object of your focus.If you don't want to go through the pain, you have to give up many things in life, including children, marriage, sex, promotion, friendship, but only these things can make life rich and colorful.In the process of self-improvement, in addition to pain and sorrow, you can also reap joy and happiness.A full life is bound to be accompanied by pain, and one of the greatest pains is facing the death of a loved one or a loved one.If you want to avoid the pain of it, you may have to completely disconnect from reality and live a life that has no meaning.

The essence of life is the process of constant change, growth and decline.By choosing to live and grow, one also chooses to face the possibility of death.The woman mentioned above, who has been living in a narrow circle, may have been hit by a series of deaths--the loss of friends and relatives, which made her feel so painful that she would rather give up real life than face it again. to misfortune.She didn't want to suffer any pain, so she gave up her spiritual growth, even if she lived like a walking dead.But avoiding it for fear of blows only leads to mental illness.Most people with mental illness cannot face death clearly and objectively.We should accept death calmly, might as well regard it as our "eternal companion" and imagine that it is walking side by side with us all the time.We should even regard death as "the most faithful friend" as Don Juan did.It may sound scary, but it can enrich the mind and make us more wise, rational and realistic.Under the guidance of "death", we will clearly realize that life is short and the time of love is limited, we should cherish and grasp it.If you dare not face up to death, you will not be able to obtain the true meaning of life, and you will not be able to understand what love is and what life is.Everything is in perpetual change, and death is a normal phenomenon. If we refuse to accept this fact, we will never appreciate the grand meaning of life.