Chapter 21 5.Behind the pretense is weakness

Meng Fei, the host of a popular program on Jiangsu Satellite TV, once said half-jokingly that when he closes the door, he likes to knock three times in a row regularly to make sure psychologically that the door is closed tightly. What Meng Fei is talking about is a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder.If a person has obsessive-compulsive disorder, then he will often play such actions: before going out, touch or knock on the door with his hand, repeating the established rhythm regularly, three or five times, this number every time, No exceptions are allowed.If he knocked twice or four times at a time, he would be disturbed, this is the ritual.A neurosis is a personal religion, through which a person is psychologically protected by a kind of order in which fear is temporarily repressed.

A person with OCD will never allow himself to disrupt this ritual.If it is destroyed, his psychological structure is disintegrated. The secret to the charm of the ritual of knocking on doors is that it constitutes a form of self-medication for a person with fears!If our psychological structure is damaged and we live in fear, then we escape from that which hurts our psychological structure through our dependence on a set of rituals.Because, with this ritual, we only need to be afraid of not doing it regularly, instead of confronting the thing that hurt us! Power also needs a ritual shelter.Playing tricks is in its nature.Man is an animal that does not completely interpret fate as the result of a series of games in real life, because it requires him to take responsibility for his own incompetence.Reducing power to something completely mundane, one cannot really convince oneself to submit to it.That is to say, people will never be really in awe of things that are not charming.

Therefore, one of the secrets of maintaining power is to have a ritual for the powerful to perform, while at the same time implanting the atmosphere of this ritual into the psychological structure of the audience. We often see that when we watch the TV series of emperors, the ministers will kneel in the dark under the Jinluan Palace, shout "Long live" three times at the same time as if rehearsing, and dance and worship.The Golden Luan Hall is a stage for performing the mighty power of the emperor.The background is very particular, for example, the pillars must be carved with dragons, and guards, eunuchs and court ladies must stand on both sides.The emperor's throne must be higher than the place where the ministers worship, so that he can look down on the ministers, which not only highlights his majesty, but also allows him to have a sense of control over the ministers.

When such a stage is dilapidated, it means that the emperor's power has been eaten away.For example, in the TV series "Three Kingdoms", when Cao Cao met Emperor Xian of Han in a dilapidated palace, the bleak scene had long since wiped out the majesty of the royal family. Without the aura of the emperor, he no longer has the actual power , he is just a doll that can be manipulated by people. As the ancestor of Emperor Xian of the Han Dynasty, Comrade Liu Bang was a hooligan after the successful revolution, so he didn't have the ideological awareness to build a royal deterrent for a while.And his brothers, like him, were mostly rough and rude, and they shouted and cursed in meetings, which was very unseemly.All of a sudden, Bang Ge didn't enjoy the pleasure of being an emperor.

A man named Shusun Tong said to him, I have a way to make you feel that being an emperor is fun.Bongo said, really?Shu Suntong said, I'll show you how to play, and you can tell if it's fun or not.Liu Bang did it. What Shusun Tong played was "making rites", and he moved out all the original "Zhou rites" and the one played by the Qin Dynasty, and made some innovations.During meetings, the emperor and ministers practiced over and over again what clothes to wear, what expressions to wear, where to sit or stand, what movements to play, and what slogans to shout.After a while, it's done.When Liu Bang played, wow, it was really fun.Now I finally experience what it's like to be an emperor!

And those ministers also felt, wow, playing like this, everyone is no longer a villager or a rascal, we have evolved into the most high-end people in the Han Dynasty! Is "etiquette" really that powerful?Have! Confucius regarded "Li" as a sign of civilization, so he praised "Zhou Li" very much, thinking that it was extremely powerful, because it domesticated people's barbaric nature. You can look down on the surrounding barbarians. But taking this point of view a step further, it means that "ritual" can not only domesticate people into "civilization", but also domesticate people into slaves of power, because once a person is involved in a theater situation and participates in a performance, psychologically It's easy to control, he really thinks this is a very fun thing, and he takes it seriously when he is playing and playing.

Power needs an order to maintain itself.If human behavior is not brought into this order and is not governed by "rituals", then power is dangerous. The reason is that the impulse to power does not arise from strength, but precisely from weakness.Precisely because the powerful cannot rely on the power of "self" to face this disordered, strange and dangerous world, he needs to fill his "self" structure with frightening power. A man who seeks power has three eternal desires at the same time. The first level of desire is that he must confirm the existence of his own power and the authority that conforms to his identity through specific rituals.

The second desire is that he must inject power into his personality and change his personality. The third desire, he must feel that he has a sense of control over the world. Let me talk about the first desire first.Whether it is the ancient emperor's enthronement ceremony, coronation ceremony, or the modern presidential inauguration ceremony; whether it is the appointment of generals, mayors, or the promotion of section chiefs and directors, there are certain rituals for the granting of power.For example, the enthronement ceremony of the emperor is very performative. It must be a magnificently built, decorated and antique place as the stage background. There must be a group of people kneeling in the dark, accompanied by a certain number of attendants and priests.The clothes that everyone wears have a certain degree of attention, which color and style should be in line with his identity.At the beginning of the ceremony, there must be a music performance, a person must preside over the ceremony, and announce the start of the ceremony with a drawn out tone.

Even a small section chief in modern society has to have a symbolic ceremony to show that he has obtained such power.Even if there is no meeting to announce it, at least there must be a document to notify it. Just like the emperor ascended the throne and declared his power to the world, the system also knows how to declare the power of the section chief to the organizational structure he belongs to. At this point in the ceremony, the first desire for power was half completed, and the audience saw the performance of him gaining power in the power granting ceremony.The remaining half is whether the audience recognizes the authority of his power.

Shusun Tong made a gift for Liu Bang and domesticated a group of reckless men with "etiquette", which perfectly solved this problem.Whether it is ancient or modern power holders, of course they will do the same.It's just that whether the game is advanced or not is set according to the power.Some of the ceremonies that reflect the authority of the power holder are the regulations of the system, and some are the personal creativity of the power holder. In ancient times, officials had to sit in sedan chairs, and the higher the level of power, the more people carried the sedan chairs.Whenever they passed by on the street, there must be someone in front of them yelling arrogantly and sounding gongs to clear the way, forming a special ceremony.In modern times, shotguns have been replaced with cannons. To reflect the power of officials and their status, of course, the system rations corresponding cars, nannies, and houses.There must be continuous meetings, in which they will give speeches, and at the same time, there will be inspections, research and so on, and such continuous rituals will reflect their authority as power holders.Of course, the scenery is a must.The office they are in must be the most luxuriously decorated in the unit, and the setting must have a sense of shock for people to enter, and the corresponding reminder of the position must be marked on the door.

The second desire.A person who is obsessed with power is weak inside. No matter how much power he holds, as long as this power does not infuse his personality and change his character, he still has no sense of power in this world, because power is just a tool .A man with a gun on his body is certainly a bit more courageous, but his fear is still not eliminated.Therefore, once the powerful person gains power, he quickly and completely abandons his ego and everything that was previously connected with his ego! When two people were originally equal colleagues and one of them was promoted, their relationship often failed to maintain, and the promoted colleague became another person.The person who has not been promoted may be puzzled, but it is actually very simple. He must think and act according to his new identity.He wants to imitate, in tone and behavior, higher powers and the established patterns of the power system.The purpose of his pretending is to make himself like a part, integrate into the machine of power, and finally turn himself into power itself. The third desire.If in a person's heart, the world is disordered, full of chance and uncertainty, then it is useless no matter how much power he holds, the world can easily destroy him psychologically (this point, the next chapter detailed analysis).Therefore, power must establish an order in social life and tame contingency, so that the power holder feels that he is safe within the control range of the order, and he can dominate the environment within his power. This sense of control over the world is achieved through the interactions of those in power with others.What those in power hate most is a person who directly challenges his authority, because what you challenge is not just his identity and offending his "dignity", but psychologically, putting him into a catastrophic loss of control over the world in the situation.If his power can control you, not even you, can he still control a boundless world full of dangers? Therefore, when he interacts with people, he must perform under such a ritual: others respect him and offer what he needs, and he returns with friendliness or arrogance; A completely vulnerable person speaks and shows concern, while the latter is better off flattered and terrified.Note that an official who takes bribes to do things for others is not only motivated by greed, but also driven by the secret psychology of controlling the world!In order to confirm that under his power, he has the ability to dominate the world, he needs to try many things that the system does not allow him to do! If the decorative function of etiquette is extended to the entire social life, a shocking secret will be revealed. When analyzing the performance of power through etiquette, I have already hinted that etiquette is a set of performance procedures used to fool people, it does not represent a set of values, it is entirely instrumental, and its purpose is to identify power holders, Charm them. However, if we turn our attention to social life, we will painfully find that etiquette has become a set of values. There is no standard of "politeness".People who have certain etiquette characteristics when performing are regarded as "civilized", high-class and cultivated, while those who do not have these etiquette characteristics are regarded as barbaric, low-class and low-quality. With the help of decorative etiquette, like wearing famous brand clothes to distinguish from the poor, the upper class not only easily establishes isolation from the lower class, so as to maximize their sense of superiority in identity recognition, but also completes a value discrimination.In terms of power, money, etc., they have established a hierarchy with the poor, so that they can oppress and plunder the poor. With the help of etiquette, they have also established a hierarchy with the poor in terms of dignity, and etiquette has become a prop for them to humiliate the poor. After observation, we can find that an official and a rich man will never run in public, and a noble lady will not wink and spit like a village girl when talking to others. It is even less likely for them to walk on the street in dirty clothes. Middle-class and upper-class families pay attention to hygiene and table serving when eating and dining, forming a set of rituals.In the lower class, meals are completely casual. In the countryside, not only children but also adults can pick up the bowl and run around after carrying the vegetables.When the dining style of children in the lower class happens to be seen by people in the upper class, they will "hum" in their nostrils: uneducated. The close relationship between the middle class, the upper class and animals (cats, dogs, not chickens, ducks) has always been a fashion.Many people can't understand the beautiful feeling brought to them by those beautiful but never useful animals. For example, they can call these cats and dogs "sons".In the lower class, raising animals must be practical, capable of plowing the fields, guarding the house, and killing them for food. They will not show such an exaggerated attitude towards cats and dogs.Therefore, when people in the middle class and upper class see people in the lower class killing cats and dogs to eat, they will shed tears and angrily denounce the "cruelty" of the people in the lower class. Because of the difference in etiquette, is the lower class really inferior in value? wrong!The upper class is a leisure class, with no worries about food and clothing, no need for productive labor, and a lot of free time.Then they can't do nothing, can they?So they can come up with some exquisite gadgets for entertainment. On the one hand, they can have fun, and on the other hand, they can become their identity symbols, so as to distinguish them from the people of the lower class.As a result, a series of cumbersome rituals were invented to embellish their lives and make them feel that they are very tasteful. It is impossible for the lower classes to live this way of life.They have to be busy for three meals a day, and they have no time and no mood to play leisurely.Playing those cumbersome rituals while eating is completely unnecessary for them.They don't have the money to buy clothes to carefully package themselves.It is impossible for them to keep pet dogs, but only watchdogs.It is impossible for them to express "love" to cats and dogs.In a word, because they have to struggle for a living, it is impossible to play the high society. However, due to the appearance of the upper class in the form of "etiquette" and their high social value, it is no longer just a way of life, but a code of value.With the help of their strong position in a society, and the submission of the lower class to the order of value, etiquette is easily transformed into an aesthetic and moral standard, which is used to construct the identity distinction between the upper class and the lower class, and to maintain a sense of dignity and inferiority. There are other value orders. This is the truth about "civilization".