Chapter 20 4.no game, no pretense

In 495 BC, King Goujian of Yue was defeated by King Fuchai of Wu.At the critical moment, he bought off a cadre under Fu Chai and persuaded Fu Chai to spare his life.But as long as he exists, there is a possibility of a comeback, which is always a threat to Fucha.Therefore, in order to preserve himself, Gou Jian must find a way to dispel Fu Chai's wariness. any solution?Help Fucha eat shit! This is the most shocking performance ever.One boss can actually eat shit for another boss, self-deprecating to such an extent, it is much more spectacular and intense than when one boss knelt down and yelled "Grandpa" to the other boss when the underworld was in flames.

What does it mean when a boss kneels down and yells "grandpa" to another boss and eats shit?Fu Chai would think that Gou Jian's eating shit shows that he has been completely defeated psychologically and completely convinced?Fucha is not that stupid at all!A person who dares to eat shit shows how much he bears humiliation and how strong his hidden hatred is!Then why was Fu Chai deceived by Comrade Gou Jian's eating shit?The reason is very simple, once the boss eats shit, he loses his prestige in front of the younger brothers, and he can't get along anymore, so what revenge is there for him?

But Fu Chai miscalculated, he didn't understand: Gou Jian's eating shit meant that Yue State was forced to eat the shit of Fu Chai and Wu State, and all the people of Yue State would be united in hatred. Taking the cruelty of Jianghu as an example, let's analyze it. If a boss is beaten up by other bosses, should he eat shit?This involves complex issues of performance and gaming. In this case, the weak boss is forced to eat shit. In fact, the humiliation is not too great, and there is still some kind of "rationality", because the power is so unequal, eating shit is understandable to people.At the same time, under this comparison of strengths, eating shit can be defended by concepts such as "only by being able to endure what others can't, can we achieve what others cannot" and "a man can bend and stretch".

At the same time, eating shit does not necessarily only present this kind of interpretation to those present: the boss has been defeated, and the glory of the boss has disappeared.In fact, eating shit does not necessarily mean that you have been defeated. It can still show the psychological toughness of the boss and the spirit of the boss. To engage in cruel psychological games, the most important thing is not to show timidity.Not showing cowardice does not necessarily mean not being afraid of death, it also means not being afraid of cutting off one's own fingers, not being afraid of eating shit, etc.The key is to show decisiveness and dare to accept any consequences.

Please imagine the lens of a gangster movie: when a boss is forced to eat shit, he stares straight into the eyes of the other boss without showing any timidity, grabs a handful of shit, puts it in his mouth, and swallows it in one gulp.What kind of momentum is this?Everyone present, including the opponent's boss, will be intimidated by him. Shit is eaten.However, the boss is still strong, the momentum is still there, and he still has the capital to mix in the rivers and lakes.Of course the brothers are still there. At this time, there is generally no possibility that the boss of one party will tell the boss of the other party to eat shit, because if one party pushes the other party in this way, the result of the firefight between the two sides can only be a loss for both sides, or even die together, which is not good for anyone.

In fact, at this time, the contest of strength has receded into the background, and the contest of psychology has been highlighted in the foreground.At this time, if you really lose psychologically, you lose. When there is friction between two gangsters of roughly equal strength, the boss will generally not come forward, and even pretend to be a brother, because no matter how the bottom of the foot moves, the two sides can't tear each other apart on the surface.Tearing one's face means entering a full-scale confrontation, which is not good for anyone. Therefore, whether it is grabbing territory or doing other tricks, it is generally done by punks or horse boys, and both parties must consider each other's psychological endurance.Because, if one party dare not respond because the other party grabs the territory or kills the horse boy, it is showing cowardice, and a domino effect will occur.

A few years ago, a friend who usually would not remember my existence called me. After hesitating politely for a long time, he said that he needed to ask me about something. I know that he is very smart, especially he has a better understanding of the various laws of chaos and has certain abilities. When he was studying, he actively moved closer to the party organization and advanced in thinking.However, it really didn't occur to me that he would make stupid mistakes too. He wanted to be the deputy of a third-level unit in his unit (he was in a huge state-owned enterprise) (he seemed to be only a deputy department at the time).There was a competition for employment. He felt that it was hopeless to pass the normal competition, so he approached the leader of the unit, hoping to tell the people below.The leader has some indirect fellowship with him, and he often goes to the leader's house, and the leader seems to often tell him some principles of life, such as reading books.He felt that, based on their relationship, the leader seemed to be doing him a favor.

But the leader said in an official tone that as long as he has the ability, he must have a chance. This friend is a smart person, so he naturally knows that this official accent conveys a hopeless message.But what he was worried about was whether he would offend him by looking for the leader so recklessly, and asked me what should I do? I told him that the reason why he didn't play is very simple. As long as the brain is still working, everyone will understand: he may have a little ability, but his qualifications are obviously not enough.Although making him the deputy of a third-level unit is only a matter of a word from the leader, the leader will definitely not help him.Because the leader does not think for him, but only for himself.It is risky to help him, who is he, why should the leader take such a risk for him?

Unless he holds the handle of the leader! The risk is: to speak for him, the leader will not pass the legality argument.In other words, if the leader is worried that the people below will talk about him, his image will inevitably be damaged, and it will be difficult to establish authority in front of his subordinates.This is terrible for a leader who pretends to be serious all day long. The reason why my friend made the mistake of right opportunism is that he only thought about the relationship between himself and the leader, but did not think about it from the perspective of the leader, let alone that there is a "public opinion" behind it that affects the leader judgment.Very realistic and smart, he actually forgot this point: in the case of non-relatives, especially in the work unit, the premise for a person to help you is to help yourself, at least not to harm yourself!

He asked me how it ended, and asked me to apologize to the leader, okay? I say it's more stupid.It's very simple, although this matter has a high weight in his heart, it is simply a fart in the leader's mind, and because of its unpleasant nature, the leader tends to forget it in his heart.At this time, if he wants to reveal it, then no matter what his language is, it will arouse the displeasure of the leader. It turns out that maybe he didn't offend the leader, but if he said it, he would definitely offend him! I reminded him: "Have you forgotten Comrade Chekhov's "Death of a Civil Servant"? You want to be the civil servant who apologizes to the general?"

He asked again what should I do?No longer going to his house as usual? I say it's equally stupid to do so.For many people in this world, especially those who hold power, if you break the rules of interaction with him, it will easily arouse his psychological reaction, and will induce him to make judgments on your relationship with him and yourself.The leader may not remember this, but if you don't go to his house, he may really remember it, and you really offended him. The correct way is to still go to his house as before, but pretend as if it never happened, never mention it, and the topic is still the same as before.For a person with power, he can also act with you in a seamless manner.In this way, it seems that never such a thing has affected your relationship. And very importantly, not only will he not offend the leader by doing so, but he also does not rule out that it will be beneficial in the future!Because he does not change the rules of communication with the leader, which means that he does not change his respect for the leader because of his frustration, and his existence itself is equivalent to reminding the leader that he owes him. Their previous communication was originally a balanced social exchange: he respected the leader, and the leader gave him some pointers (such as reading books) as compensation.But this kind of social exchange was broken by his request. Therefore, the leader could not satisfy him virtually, and psychologically he owed him.When he has a reasonable qualification to apply for a certain position in the future, as long as he can let the leader remember this in some way, the leader will definitely help him. There is a very painful phenomenon: as long as two former "brothers" still have a superior-subordinate relationship in terms of power, then the "brotherhood" is over.Power relations have no friendship, because the egalitarian nature of friendship is incompatible with the hierarchical order of power. I once read a post on the Internet, which is very classic.The person who posted the post was "a pure man from northern Anhui". I have compiled and excerpted the story as follows. I learned printing and dyeing from him 10 years ago.At that time, he was just a little master, and he only paid about 3,000 yuan a month, and I was even lower.When I first joined that company, everything started from scratch, and the company didn’t have a lot of equipment. It was also very hard for me to learn from him, and I could work sixteen or seventeen hours a day.It has been going on for more than two years. The so-called "brothers", like "folks", are often just an excuse, and this is the truth! No one in China does not know.A group of "brothers" in the underworld rob houses, drink in big bowls, eat meat in large pieces, and chop whoever they want, what a "brother" bond.But the reality is depressing.The so-called "juyi" is just a few smart people (Song Jiang, Wu Yong, etc.) playing with a bunch of stupid "brothers" for their own benefit. Wu Song and the others fell into the trap of "brothers" and were sold for money.But Song Jiang is not that stupid.He knew that "brother" was just an excuse to mess around in the rivers and lakes, the purpose was only to make himself attractive, and to be able to drive and control a group of idiots. You might say that Liu Guan and Zhang Taoyuan are sworn brothers, and they don't seek to live together but die together, so they can be regarded as "brothers", right?On the surface it seems so.But the premise is that they have to work together.If there is no need to work together, the "brothers" will not be able to continue, and can only be replaced by a pure "monarch and minister" power relationship. In this world, there are conditions for being a "brother". If you violate these conditions, not only will you fail to be a "brother", but you may even turn against each other. These conditions are: (1) The situation of the two people should be roughly the same, and they can support each other in terms of identity and interests.If there is a huge disparity in social status, it cannot be "brother", because "brother" presupposes equality. (2) Two people have more common interests in a certain interest structure. At this time, differences in status and identity are allowed, but their interests must be more similar than conflicts.The high-status party can provide shelter for the low-status party, and the low-status party can work for the high-status party. The so-called "brothers" come from mutual needs in terms of identity and interests.Once a "brother" relationship occurs, two people can benefit from each other in terms of identity and interests.It is this need that produces "brotherhood." This kind of "giri" is of course not real giri, but just an excuse used by everyone to convince themselves, a nice word to cover up the mutual needs of recognition and interests. It's like a human relationship.If there is no exchange of benefits, where is the favor? The relationship of "brothers" undoubtedly has a kind of quack moral weight.You can succumb to the moral pressure of your "brother", but if you think that the other party will also succumb, and you will not forget your "brother" even if the conditions change, then you are too naive. Quite simply, once he doesn't need approval from you, he doesn't need your "brother".If your presence is not in his interest, he doesn't need you as a "brother".In these cases, it may seem like your "brother" relationship is still there, because it doesn't do him any harm to maintain that formal relationship.But if you happen to be in the same interest structure after changing your identities and status, and there is a conflict of interests, then the "brother" will definitely not be able to do it, and he will never treat you as a "brother". Complaining is useless when the "brother" is not there, the key is to know the outcome from the beginning and why it happened. The "brother" of the "pure man in northern Anhui" needs him at the beginning.Everyone is working for others and needs to be in a group.Even if he becomes the head of the department, and the "brothers" have widened the obvious difference in status, he still needs "a pure man from northern Anhui".If this seat is not stable yet, he needs cronies, obedient people and people who can help him maintain his position.Of course he can control the "pure men in northern Anhui", but at the same time, there are other people who are not very obedient as the objects of his power, so the "brother" relationship can not be replaced by the superior-subordinate relationship in the sense of power control , or replace it entirely. But it was different when he became the director of the factory.The power of the factory director must face everyone, and he must establish his authority in front of everyone.It would be neither in his interests nor in his status to play "brother" relationship with "pure men from northern Anhui". Once this kind of people get mixed up to this point, what they are most afraid of is that people like "pure men from northern Anhui" will use their "brother" relationship to associate with him.That is tantamount to a moral threat to him.Psychologically, he would sensitively interpret it as a denial of his factory director's authority and a threat to his own status. If a person says that he is a bad guy in front of you, you may laugh without saying a word, but if he insists that being a bad guy is not only a last resort, but also morally right, you may not be able to help but refute a few words, yes wrong? The reason is simple. He defines a terrible value, thinking that the world should play according to his rules of the game, which threatens your "self", and you must resist his value. In other words, his performance stimulates you from an audience to an actor, and you have to define your values ​​​​through the performance and resist his interpretation of the rules of the game. The game is to compete for the right to interpret the rules of the game through performances. Whoever the rules of the game are beneficial to in the interpretation, the pattern of the game will be inclined to whom. To explain the rules of the game is to mobilize the resources that are most beneficial to you. Suppose you are at a party, and when your friends introduce an official to you, they will definitely mention his position, not his other social roles.Because by saying this position, your friend has mobilized the resources behind this official, that is, he has a certain power, which may be beneficial to you or harmful to you. This is a rule of the game.That way, your friend has face and the official won't go unnoticed at the party.This is how the rules of the game are explained in favor of your friends and officials. Explain the rules of the game, what are the mysteries? That's what the female teacher mentioned earlier did.She uses language, facial expressions, actions, etc. to highlight her identity as a teacher, allowing students to enter the situation of the rules of the game that she explained.Once the student enters the situation, submitting to the rules of the game in favor of the teacher, the situation turns in her favor. A person's clothes, the car he drives, the house he lives in, the place he consumes, etc. will convey the information of who he is to the audience.When he has a performance relationship with someone, this packaging tells the other party how he should be treated.Therefore, in terms of psychological strength, it is necessary for us to cultivate this feeling in our daily life: when you see a person in a suit and leather shoes with arrogant eyes, you should regard him as a very funny look.Note that the purpose of this modeling is to tell you how he ranks in social value (just as your experience tells you what rank he is in when you see a shabby person). Everyone knows that the more luxuriously decorated hotels, restaurants, and beauty salons are, the more expensive they are.This is not only a question of high cost, but more importantly, it needs to explain the rules of the game in its favor: it is very noble and is specially made for noble people.Therefore, once a person mentally enters the situation where the rules of the game are explained, he will feel justifiable to be slaughtered. An LV bag represents wealth and identity; standard Beijing dialect represents a sense of superiority of regional identity; a person whose father is Li Gang represents power.When a person wears an LV bag on his shoulder, speaks Beijing dialect, and says his father is Li Gang, he mobilizes symbols that are beneficial to him during the performance. In the TV series "Snow Leopard", Zhang Renjie, the political commissar of the Hutou Mountain Independent Group who doesn't know how to fight, but only knows how to punish people, is very good at mobilizing symbols that are beneficial to him.Japanese soldiers suppressed the border, and in order to monopolize power, he secretly imprisoned Zhou Weiguo, the head of the independent regiment.When he was strongly questioned by other comrades, he raised his voice and said, "I, Zhang Renjie, am a member of the Communist Party!"However, when he mobilized this symbol during the performance, he could use its lethal power to silence those who doubted it. Some symbols are lethal, because they are powerful behind them, and they are powerful rules of the game.In addition, although some symbols are not powerful, they can easily enter people's psychological structure and hypnotize people when they are mobilized in specific situations.In a hometown gathering, one must speak not Mandarin but a proficient dialect if one is to perform successfully, because only dialects can arouse strong identification. Anyone who has rented a house probably knows that a real estate agent is a person who takes advantage of the information asymmetry between the landlord and the tenant.Let's say you're moving to a new city for work, you're looking for a house, and you find a real estate agent.One of the agents receives you, introduces you to the house and shows you the property.At this time, you and him have entered a game pattern, and you and him have become actors and audiences at the same time. You are very clear about your purpose: to rent the best house for the least money.Of course, the intermediary is more clear about its purpose: let you sign the house with the most expensive rent as soon as possible, or at least sign the house you fancy in the fastest time. You also understand that when you are dealing with an agent, you are not interested in his personality, nor is he interested in you.You are just an interaction between two characters, or rather, an interaction between two actors. This means that you judge whether the situation is beneficial to you through the information conveyed by the intermediary's appearance, language, expression, etc. He understands this, and he treats you the same way. But obviously, the overall situation is not in your favor, because you don't necessarily understand the local or the rental market in that area, which is hidden from you behind a "veil of ignorance".This market situation constitutes a situation where the intermediary can use it to suppress you at any time when they are playing games with you.The intermediary must show this point, that is, if you don't know much about the rental market and say that the house is very popular, of course, he will satisfy you. Although the price is more expensive, it must be worth it if you rent it. So what should you do?You can only compete with him for the interpretation of the information and pretend to understand the market. In addition, there is one thing that cannot be forgotten: besides you and the agent, there is also the landlord. This is a three-party game.From the beginning, the game is against you, because the landlord and the agent form an alliance of interests to some extent. But you may also know that the landlord, like you, is actually at a disadvantage in terms of information.What's more important is that the intermediary's interests are independent of yours and the landlord's. In order to ensure his interests, he can either harm your interests or the landlord's interests (here, I will not seek The expected benefit maximization is called "harm").In other words, he can form an interest alliance with the landlord to get you to sign a contract, and he can also form an interest alliance with you to get the landlord to sign a contract. What you need to do, in addition to destroying the information advantage of the intermediary, you can also define a situation that is beneficial to you and also beneficial to the intermediary, that is, after you really fancy the house, hint at what price you can get it, and ask the intermediary in Get the landlord on the price.Intermediaries are of course willing to do this based on their own interests. Through the above examples, we can see that when it comes to the interpretation of the rules of the game, in order to make the game situation favorable to oneself, it is necessary for a person to pay attention to the following. (1) The most basic awareness.When interacting with a person, you should judge from your role relationship with him, what do you expect from him, and what does he expect from you.That is, what you can get from him, and what he wants from you. (2) Because at the beginning, the role relationship between you is certain, if this role relationship is not good for you, how do you break through? (3) When you are not familiar with him at the beginning, what kind of performance does he need to use to get what he wants from you?What's in his favor?How would he explain the rules of the game in his favor, including what was revealed at the beginning, and what was behind but could be revealed intentionally or unintentionally?And how do you cope? (4) He will definitely capture your weaknesses from your expression, demeanor, language, and perhaps occupation, personality, status, etc., and use them. Have you noticed and consciously controlled your performance from the beginning? What makes you exhibit these things in your favor in the game? (5) Will you also capture his weaknesses from his expressions, demeanor, language, actions, etc. accordingly? (6) Have you thought about it, just as you have a bottom line when you are playing games, what is his bottom line when he is playing games with you?How do you ensure that you maximize your psychological or interest satisfaction or minimize your own psychological or interest loss without breaking his bottom line? Many years ago, I once witnessed a studious young man born in the 1980s who changed his destiny in a performance.Now restore the situation at that time and extract some useful rules. I call this good actor "post-80s Zhang".His master, my former colleague, I call him "Post-60s Li". "Zhang born in the 80s" entered the unit where I worked, and he was in the same department as Li born in the 60s.The latter is the deputy director of this department. Due to his personality and other reasons, he has not been promoted.It is conceivable that such a person would be annoyed. You must know that as long as the "post-80s Zhang" is not stupid, he will understand that he is just a newcomer. Phoenix male), his fate depends on the people in the department from the very beginning, especially the evaluation of him by the chief of the department and the master "post-60s Li" who brought him.In any unit, people have implicit requirements for the role of new employees: they must be obedient, diligent, hardworking, and respectful and polite to colleagues.Best of all, he can do all the chores that no one wants to do. The requirements of old colleagues for the role of new employees include psychological compensation factors. They are also daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law, so they need to find a balance.But the most important thing is that they need to use this method to subdue newcomers and establish their authority and advantages as old employees, because any newcomer entering a group is always uncertain at the beginning and has an anxious feeling. Threats are both spiritual and beneficial.They have to pack up the newcomer into a track that they can control and play according to their rules of the game. They implicitly don't say this: it's a necessary way for newcomers to exchange for their approval. Under the circumstances that they have the legal right to harm the newcomer, the newcomer must play a role that is obedient, diligent, hardworking, respectful and polite to colleagues. It seems fair to humiliate yourself in exchange for the approval of your colleagues and avoid their harm. "Post-80 Zhang" is smart.But what makes him smarter than others is that he knows how others will perform in front of him, and how he can match other people's performances. He saw that "Post-60s Li" had at least two roles in the department: One is the master and deputy director of "post-80s Zhang".This determines that "Post-60s Li" will perform an authoritative image of an old employee in front of "Post-80s Zhang". "Li born in the 60s" is most eager to get enough respect from "Zhang born in the 80s", because he can't get anything from "Zhang born in the 80s" except respect. In the beginning, when "Post-60s Li" and "Post-80s Zhang" interacted with each other as actors and audiences, "Post-60s Li" would show a lukewarm, even a bit arrogant image.This is implying that "post-80s Zhang", as a newcomer in the workplace, as a person whose fate can be influenced by "post-60s Li", "post-80s Zhang" should take the initiative to greet him, show respect to him, and give him enough face. It is required by the rules of the game in the workplace. Then, in order to show that he is an authority, "post-80s Zhang", no matter whether he is interested or not, and whether he understands it or not, must act like he is open-minded and eager to learn, ask him some business matters, and then pretend to be mentally retarded and listen to his explanation.It is absolutely stupid to show off what you have learned in college and think that you can have a conversation with "Post-60s Li", because this is tantamount to implying that "Post-60s Li" has fallen behind in knowledge because of his age, and what he has The biggest capital is precisely experience. As a fair exchange, as long as it cooperates with the performance of "Post-60s Li", "Post-80s Zhang" can really learn something from "Post-60s Li".But this is still not enough, because this kind of interaction is still only the interaction between characters.In this kind of communication, the "post-60s Li" has reservations, and he will be defensive against the "post-80s Zhang" in his heart. This involves another role of "Post-60s Li": a resentful old employee who understands business but can't get promoted. Generally speaking, this kind of people will make an image of "everyone is dirty and I am alone", attribute their own destiny to the badness of others and the goodness of themselves, and look down on this and that.But they know in their hearts that they are a failure in this society.This frustration leaves them in desperate need of validation beyond their work roles.In other words, it is not enough to agree with him as an authority, you also need to agree with his style of doing things and even his values. Of course, you only need to pretend to be this kind of identification. For "Zhang Zhang born in the 1980s", the best way for him to gain a foothold in the unit quickly is not only to pretend that "Li born in the 60s" looks more authoritative in front of him, but also to get close to him in aspects other than work. Selectively talked about some of his private life, and invited him to dinner or something.Once the relationship was drawn closer, "Post-60s Li" complained, and "Post-80s Zhang" immediately showed an image of approval.For newcomers, the old employees in the workplace are far from being monolithic as they appear at first glance. In fact, many people need to draw newcomers to their side to form a spiritual or interest alliance. This is especially true for people like "Li born in the 1960s". He can no longer gain recognition from the old employees of his unit, because what really determines other people's respect for him is power, not business. "Zhang born in the 80s" fully cooperated with the performance of "Li born in the 60s" in the performance, and the effect is obvious: "Post-60s Li" not only spoke highly of him, but also revealed to him a lot of information in the unit, which was very helpful for him to see the situation clearly and formulate the correct strategy to survive. However, for the "post-80s Zhang", this kind of performance is just a stopgap measure.Once a foothold is established, the stage setting of the show changes, the original characters no longer exist, and the game is declared over.It would be very dangerous to continue acting, and it would be tantamount to declaring that I will always be a supporting role. So, later I saw that "Zhang born in the 1980s" was appreciated by the leaders and prepared to be promoted, but he withdrew his nasty respect for "Li born in the 60s".Communication must continue, but only at the role (colleague to colleague) level.He wants to establish his own existence and value. Only in this way can he be qualified to speak and play games in the competition of interests.At this time, "Post-60s Li" was already a stumbling block. As I said earlier, a successful interview is a success in performance, and a failure in an interview is a failure in performance.Let's analyze it below. To do an imaginative experiment, we assume that "post-80s Zhang" has not yet entered the work unit, but is looking for a job.He just graduated from college and frantically submitted resumes. Fortunately, he got an interview notice from a company with good salary. In the company corridor, "post-80s Zhang" saw more than a dozen people who were dressed and looked similar to themselves.They are all competitors. Before getting an interview opportunity, "post-80s Zhang" has already decorated his resume.In form, the resume is made concise and neat, full of personality.In terms of content, he made limited exaggerations of his abilities and advantages.In a word, the production of his resume is a competition for eyeballs and candidates' judgment with countless competitors.He tried to get his resume to catch the recruiter's attention and show that he was simply the best candidate for the position the company was hiring for. His first step was successful. The most critical is the second step: the interview. The reason why it is said to be the most important is that the interview involves the interaction between people, the on-the-spot reaction and performance, and the psychological game. What the interview tests is a person's performance of "ability".The reason is obvious, the "ability" of all competitors can only be said to be potential or unproven ability, and no one has an overwhelming advantage over the others.In addition, the employer will never ignore a person's interview performance just because his resume says he is capable.In just a few minutes or more than ten minutes, what is examined is not a person's ability, but the expectation of ability. That being the case, "post-80s Zhang" must define his role well and evaluate what the examiner expects from his role. His first role was that of a "candidate," a person looking for a job.This means that his fate is in the hands of the examiner.This unequal game pattern requires "post-80s Zhang" to show a certain degree of respect to the examiners. Although people in this world sympathize with the weak, if the weak seem to have personality and moral problems, people will never sympathize with them, but hate them instead.A person who is not weak actually doesn't like to deal with a weak person in his bones.Unfortunately, people are very good at making excuses to justify this behavior.A smart candidate should never give the examiner any such excuses. Therefore, when the "post-80s Zhang" presents an image of respecting the examiner, he must also behave neither humble nor overbearing, showing that he has an independent and sound personality.This is to give the examiners a slight psychological shock by making themselves appear a bit classy while acknowledging their strengths.People have a kind of slavishness. Once there is something that makes them feel a little bit psychologically shocked, they will have a good impression of it.Grasping this degree is actually a psychological suggestion. If they don't admit the "post-80s Zhang", I'm afraid they won't be able to convince themselves. In addition, "post-80s Zhang" also has another role, that is, a person who is competent for the position he is applying for, and an employee who can be assumed to be able to contribute to the company. The first role is mainly the identity of both parties at the time of the interview.The second role is ability, and the examiner's clear expectations of the competence of "post-80s Zhang". The examiner's expectations for the role of "post-80s Zhang" are also very simple.They would come up with some questions about how smart they thought they would be to test the reaction of "post-80s Zhang", and then judge whether his answers were enough to meet the criteria for admission.Whether his answers reinforce their expectations that he will be qualified for the position. At this time, "post-80s Zhang" must be a good audience, judging their respective roles from the words, expressions, and attitudes of the examiners, and cooperate with their performances. Assume that there are three people in the company who come to interview "post-80s Zhang": the manager in charge of personnel, the department director, and the vice president.These three roles need to be analyzed one by one. We have already said above that the examiners should show their dominant position in front of the "post-80s Zhang".The personnel managers basically don't understand the professional fields of the positions that "post-80s Zhang" are applying for.Therefore, if he is not stupid, he will not ask "post-80s Zhang" some questions in his professional field (this is the matter of the department director), because this is his disadvantage. If "post-80s Zhang" expresses his opinions, All he had to do was listen, which would embarrass him in front of the department head and company deputy.He will seize his advantage and ask "post-80s Zhang" some questions about career planning or why he wants to do this job.Answering these questions is not difficult.But the smartest way is to appear confident and planned, and hint at the importance of personnel work to satisfy his desire for authority. The level of the department director is the most critical and the most difficult to grasp.There are two taboos: first, if the ability of the director of the department is not very good, the "post-80s Zhang" will show that he understands a lot of things, and he will pose a threat to the director of the department, and he will not recruit an opponent for himself; "Hou Zhang" didn't perform well, and he didn't want to add another burden to his department.When his information is not transparent, the only way for "post-80s Zhang" is to be careful not to reveal any of his ambitions. On the one hand, he makes himself appear to be competent for the job, but at the same time, he recognizes the position and professional advantages of the department director. status. The level of the vice president seems to be the most difficult, but in fact it is the best to deal with.由于“80后张”既不会对他形成威胁也不会给他带来累赘，所以他实际上需要看到的只是“80后张”这样的一种形象：承认考官的权威性，敏捷、聪明而有想法。 在一个三方博弈格局中，假如有一个夹在其中的受气包，他该如何通过表演来获取优势？ 有一个网友提供的真实案例。 对这一博弈格局，可以分析如下。 小李代表公司。但是，客户在和小李博弈时，并不仅仅是和代表了公司的小李博弈，同时还和作为个体(只代表自己)的小李博弈。因此，客户从自身的利益最大化来讲一定要表现得强硬一些。这种强硬有两层意思：一是建立一个包括心理防御在内的防御，增强谈判筹码；二是让作为个体的小李在博弈中处于下风，从而去说服公司让步。 公司不直接与客户博弈，而是通过小李。因此，如同客户通过与小李的博弈来达到与公司的博弈一样，公司也是通过与小李的博弈来达到与客户博弈的目的，这就意味着公司与小李之间也存在博弈。公司要在小李面前表现强硬，使小李处于下风，从而让小李去劝说客户让步。 可以看到，小李具有这样的劣势：在以自己为中介的三方博弈格局中，自己两头受压。 但小李也具有巨大的优势，那就是公司和客户之间没有直接的信息沟通，因此他可以操纵这个博弈格局。 具体来讲小李该怎么做？分析清楚了以上的博弈关系后，自然很清楚，在双方的强硬立场上，小李有必要把自己的中介身份抽掉，要分别在客户和公司那儿传递这样的信息：这是你们在直接博弈，不是和我博弈，我不是和你们博弈的主体。这一招只要成功，就会挫败客户希望通过小李去压服公司让步和公司希望通过小李压服客户让步的目的。 同时，利用自己所掌握的信息优势，小李在抽掉自己的中介身份后，与公司以及客户博弈时，要建立一个个人身份，即替客户和公司着想的身份。比如可以通过情感联络或心理博弈让客户感觉到，作为个人其实想帮客户做成这笔生意，因为这对客户很有好处。这个时候，要让客户感觉到不是小李在和他博弈，而是他和小李一起和公司博弈。对公司同样如此，只是具体方法不一样。