Chapter 14 Chapter 13 Psychological Logic

When it comes to psychological logic, I would like to remind you: please be patient with yourself. Because I talked about the core and most technical things of my exclusive psychoanalysis.It is no exaggeration to say that if you learn to sort out your psychological logic, it is a killer skill. We all know that there is an essential difference between practicing a martial arts and being able to play a few tricks.This difference is probably similar to the difference between earthworms and eels, eels and snakes, and snakes and dragons. Very simple, real kung fu is used for self-defense and attack, and it is quite technical.You don’t want to watch Kung Fu players dance and kick their feet. This is not for looking good (of course it can also look beautiful), but to know the loopholes of yourself and others that must be defended. , can attack.He will not play those flashy moves.

The "Jet Kune Do" played by Bruce Lee is very particular about this point.In the movie "Jing Wu Heroes", Chen Zhen and Chen Yingxiong also said that "the way to fight is to knock down the opponent". For Huaquanxiuqiu, you don’t understand these things. It is used for performance and entertainment, so what you pursue is to look good. Therefore, sometimes, knowing something and knowing something are actually two concepts.The classmate Wang Yuyan in the movie is a person who understands one kind of thing, but doesn't know this kind of thing.She has read many martial arts classics, and she knows what martial arts moves others want to perform, but she doesn't know martial arts!

The first question we encounter is: what is mental logic? Think about it first, in this world, there are many people whose words and deeds are abnormal, strange, and crazy, which are "unreasonable" and "unimaginable", right?In other words, they cannot be explained clearly with rational logic and common sense. For example, if a person likes to steal women's panties, a lunatic suddenly jumps up and stabs people in the street with a knife. When a person sees another person, he will instinctively hate it, which cannot be understood logically. So what can be understood?The answer is: psychological logic.I want to say that in this world, things that cannot be explained clearly with logic can always be explained clearly psychologically.

Because these words and deeds are driven by psychology, and they have their own set of logic. To explain the term "psychological logic" is: a kind of psychological behavior, or a kind of psychological symptom, from the occurrence in the heart to the whole regular process of expression.Sorting out the psychological logic is to see through the whole process. When we do this, it's equivalent to seeing: a. What does a person think in his heart? b. What kind of procedures did his behaviors go through in his heart, and how did he manifest them; c. How did his psychological problem come about and how has it evolved.

The world related to us humans generally has three major areas: nature, society and mind. For natural and social phenomena, we use a series of natural sciences and social sciences (as well as philosophy) to deal with them, such as physics, chemistry, philosophy, sociology, economics, and so on.They have a common feature, that is, they must pay attention to logic.Because, if you don't talk about logic, your thinking will be confused, what else do you want to do, and what can you do?Still want to explore the laws of nature and social phenomena? It is worth mentioning that even religions that belong to the realm of the mind, in order to enhance their attractiveness, also arm themselves with logic. For example, in the Middle Ages in the West, many priests became religious philosophers and stopped saying that "God exists." ’, but to argue for the existence of God, though whether the argument succeeds is another matter.

However, when it comes to the realm of the human mind, logic can no longer play.What works is mental logic.What we pay attention to in psychoanalysis is mainly psychological logic. Rational logic; natural realm, social realm; psychological logic: realm of the mind. How does mental logic work? There are two situations, I draw their operation process respectively as a logical diagram. When a person's psychological survival is not threatened and he maintains his rationality: In a certain psychological background, external stimuli or inner desires-psychological structure-intelligent structure controls the psychological structure-expressed words and deeds.

The explanation is: when we deal with others with a psychological background, if others say or do something to us, or our inner desires are aroused, then our psychological structure will be stimulated, leading to Some kind of psychological reaction, because our intellectual structure can control it, so what finally appears is some rational words and deeds, which respond to the stimuli of others and the desires aroused in our hearts. For example, you see a beautiful woman on the street and you have the urge to possess her, but you know that it is impossible for you to possess her, so you smile slyly in your heart, start to pretend, and walk away.This is the operation process of psychological logic under the control of intellectual structure after your inner desire is aroused by her and impacts your psychological structure.

When a person is rational, the operation of his mental logic has a characteristic: it is influenced or dominated by intellectual structures, rather than being blindly manipulated by external and inner desires. Because in a rational situation, the operation of psychological logic is relatively simple. You only need to learn to see through a person's psychological motives and clarify his words and deeds as we said before. It is enough. I will not analyze it here. . In situations where a person's psychic survival is threatened, reducing him to a psychic animal: In a certain psychological background, external stimuli or inner desires—threats to psychological survival—activation of psychological protection mechanisms—expressed words and deeds.

The explanation is: when we appear in any situation with a psychological background, or what other people say, the action they play, or our inner desire is aroused, it impacts our psychological structure and makes our Psychological survival is threatened.At this time, our intellectual structure is no longer working, and psychological protection is activated, which is manifested in external words and deeds. Its characteristic is that we are blindly governed by psychological laws, and psychological protection dominates our responses to external stimuli and inner desires. For example, when a person is criticized by his boss for no reason at work, and he is feeling upset, and when he comes back from get off work on the street, another person happens to step on his heel, and he does not apologize and has a bad attitude, and he may get angry.Being scolded by his boss is enough to make him depressed, but someone still provokes him again, he will have an inner language of "why am I so unlucky and easy to bully".At this time, his psychological logic is working, but the intellectual structure is not working.

When we deal with others with a psychological background, the more active this psychological background, the less rational we are. Next, let's start with technical analysis, let's start with the simplest. We sort out the first application of psychological logic: deciphering a person's psychological evolution process, seeing how his behavior is called out. I want to say that we should not only see what a person's behavior means psychologically, but also what happened to him psychologically before that. Let's look at such a story. On a certain day in a certain year, a man A ran into a woman B in the subway, and he succeeded in striking up a conversation.Then, a fierce offensive began on the Internet, pretending, and women pretending too.The showdown is about to be chased, and the male A can't handle the female B, so he swears at each other.

But female B is not a fuel-efficient lamp. In a rage, she posted their chat content and mobile phone text messages on Weibo for the Internet to coax and scold customers to visit, boo and abuse.Male A was terrified and apologized quickly... Female B was merciless.So, male A stabbed female B with a knife, but fortunately he only scratched it, and there was no serious problem. Obviously, even for those who don't understand psychoanalysis, it is very easy to understand why male A stabbed female B with a knife. But let's sort out his psychological logic.Pay attention, below I use the arrows to fully outline the operation process of psychological logic. Picking up a conversation in the subway, getting the contact information, secretly happy in his heart-starting an offensive on the Internet, hooking up, because it is not face-to-face, and it seems to be private, his heart is full of the pleasure of attacking when picking up girls. This pleasure is no less than " The sense of accomplishment when it’s done”—female B doesn’t flirt with her online, she rejects male A while talking about the car.Male A is psychologically frustrated, and his psychological survival is threatened—psychological protection is activated, and female B is verbally attacked—female B posts the chat content online, male A’s privacy is exposed, and he is accused by netizens.Resentment, fear.In order to eliminate the fear, apologize as soon as possible—the apology did not have its due effect, and the male A who signed a psychological contract with female B unilaterally "I apologize, and you also lower your profile and calm down" felt humiliated, so he threatened again. To psychological survival, based on psychological protection, transforming into anger—driven by the frustration of female B, the resentment that female B sent the chat content to the Internet to embarrass him, and the anger turned into anger after apologizing, he wants to conduct female B. Revenge, so she stabbed female B with a knife. We sort out the second application of psychological logic, which is relatively more complicated.Because what we want to decipher is: How does it happen psychologically that a person becomes a certain person? This use is so important.Because we are constantly being changed by certain things since childhood, we must know why we become certain things and how to stop ourselves. The following is the story of a second-generation female civil servant. On the surface, she is a good girl who is innocent, childish and somewhat introverted, but in fact she is very good at disguising. When she was young, her parents often quarreled, and she watched with cold eyes, secretly mocking. Her mother is a person who plays games in life, but her father is very face-saving, has a strong sense of morality, and is methodical and measured in doing things.With her mother at odds, her father turned his attention to work and his expectations of her. So here's what happened to her: a. When she was young, once, she was talking to a friend, but the friend ignored her. She didn't continue to talk, but took away the key of the friend while the friend was not paying attention, as a punishment for him.Another time, when she was walking home with her uncle, she didn’t get any response from her uncle, so she went home angrily and locked the door, and would not open it no matter how much uncle knocked, and looked at him provocatively through the window . b. Under the orders of her father, she worked hard to be a top student since she was a child, but when she faced the college entrance examination, due to the pressure, she found that she could not persevere psychologically, so she began to give up on herself and collapsed emotionally.This setback affected her so much that she lost the courage to change herself in terms of mentality, dress, and making friends. c. After graduating from a not-so-good university, she entered the system. Although she is the second-generation official, she is still a little sheep psychologically.A colleague who is very good at playing with interpersonal relationships once mocked the unequal treatment brought to him because of her "identity".She couldn't help but want to get close to him and secretly observe his way of doing things.And he was also happy to make a second-generation official friend like her.So, after being in harmony with her colleague on the surface for a period of time, she very much wanted to find an opportunity to attack him severely once. Well, after reading the story, let's sort out the psychological logic. The first manifestation: When her parents quarreled, she watched coldly from the sidelines, with hints of ridicule. The quarrel between her parents stimulated her psychological structure, and she was very painful-she originally hoped that her parents would be harmonious, but the result was the opposite-if we know that the result of a certain hope is disappointment, then we will convince ourselves not to hope.So, in order to avoid getting hurt again, she told herself in her heart, don't hope that they won't quarrel, but despise them - despise parents, so that she can avoid being hurt by their quarrel, and at the same time, it is a kind of psychological The attack was her psychological revenge on them. The second manifestation: whoever offends her, she will think about attacking and punishing him. When her parents quarreled, the way she protected herself psychologically established her psychological relationship with the world and became a fixed psychological pattern.This constitutes her psychological background 1-but she just forced herself not to hold out hope, and the idea of ​​​​hoping for harmony between her parents has never been broken in her bones.Likewise, the desire to be respected by others was always latent in her.Therefore, she was never initially aggressive in her dealings with others.This constitutes her psychological background 2——when interacting with others, she first showed her kindness, but others responded unfriendly to her, which stimulated her psychological structure, and she was hurt—her fixed mode of psychological protection was activated, and she To get revenge, attack the person who hurt her. The third manifestation: she was unable to persevere psychologically when facing the college entrance examination. This setback made her lose the courage to change herself in terms of mentality, clothing, and making friends, and became a person without self-confidence. Since she cannot get love from her mother, she is afraid that she will not get love from her father either. This is her psychological background 1—her father expects her to be a promising person different from her mother.She knew that her father expected this from her.Her psychological background 2-she forced herself to meet her father's expectations, so she played the role of a "good-behaved person who knows how to fight according to mainstream values".The main audience is her father, including herself—before the college entrance examination, her performances have been very successful, but because she is afraid of not getting love, rather than interested in playing this role, she lives in a psychologically abnormal state Therefore, under tremendous pressure, before the college entrance examination, she collapsed—she knew in her heart: she was just forcing herself to play a role, and she actually lacked strength and confidence in her heart.She couldn't lie to herself anymore.And realizing this, she lost the strength to continue to play the role - this event had such psychological consequences: she realized her own weakness, knowing that forcing herself to appear confident is just a kind of self-deception, so mentally , Dressing up and making friends, I lost my courage. I don't know if you have seen it, but this second-generation official student is actually a kind person with a basic sense of right and wrong.This point, until now, has not fallen, otherwise her psychology will be distorted and ugly. She found me on the Internet, my analysis, she replied that it was very accurate, and hoped that I could give her an idea to help her change. My idea is: she lacks a goal, a goal to sublimate her kindness, for example, when dealing with the people, she can respect them and run for them.In this way, she gradually changed her relationship with others and the world psychologically, and also changed herself. The above sorting out of psychological logic and the situations that are aimed at do not happen in one space in a short period of time, and are more applicable to our self-analysis and deciphering of a person’s psychological evolution and who he is. But when we usually deal with people, we often encounter situations that happen in a space-time situation. So, let's start the third application: when a person interacts with us, decipher his psychological logic from his language and behavior. A newcomer in the workplace told a true story that happened around him. When I first entered an advertising company, a colleague came over to greet me and seemed very enthusiastic.But after chatting with him, I found it difficult to communicate with him.For example, if I say A, he will hear it as B, but when he says B, I will hear it as A.In addition, the first impression he gave me was that he was quite restless. Something unexpected happened.On this day, as soon as this person arrived at the company, he began to ask me and other colleagues some questions.For example, he asked me a question: If you can read the seven characters "People's Republic of China" backwards within one minute, I will give you five hundred yuan.But after a while, he said another five million yuan.I thought he was a little weird at the time, but didn't pay much attention. Other colleagues gathered around.They, too, began to resent his questions and chatter.Later, he had an act of lying on the company sofa.Then, as you can imagine, other co-workers said to him: "Don't be like this at work." He said over there: "It's okay, I will communicate with the general manager, don't worry about it, it's none of your business!" Everyone has no choice but to be dissatisfied.After being silent for a while, he suddenly laughed hysterically, and the laughter was extremely loud and terrifying!All of a sudden, he smashed the table and chairs, and said to the two colleagues who were pointing fingers at him: "I am the general manager! You don't have to do it anymore! Resign now and get out!" Then, he pointed at me and the other A colleague, "You can stay!" I was stunned and tried to calm him down.However, he couldn't control himself anymore, and he smashed the company's vases, tables, and air conditioners like crazy, and at the same time, he didn't let go of other companies' items.The most frightening thing was that the glass door was also completely shattered by him.I took a look afterwards, and the thickness of that kind of glass is almost one centimeter! In the end, there are more and more people.He suddenly jumped from the window on the 13th floor! Fortunately, there is a balcony on the 12th floor. When I heard a third of the story, I wanted to express my "shock" just like Mr. Ban Ki-moon, the Secretary-General of the United Nations-shocked at the lack of psychological insight of these corporate white-collar workers. This man cannot be as emotionally stable as other people, and he is so exaggerated in language, expressions, and actions, with only one purpose: to send a strong signal of "comfort me" to colleagues in disguise.They don't feel anything psychologically, they just interpret these words and behaviors as "weird". Calling a person "weird" is often just an excuse for us to get pleasure.We enjoy it simply because, by preventing ourselves from capturing the truth, we gain a psychological advantage over a person by identifying him as "abnormal." Next, let's analyze what this dear friend's words and deeds mean. As far as he can imagine, he must have been hit and hurt in some way, and he has an urge to destroy himself to seek relief.However, he really didn't want to die.How to resolve this contradiction?He thought of his colleagues and asked them for help. However, colleagues are psychologically strangers to him after all. If he confides his heart to them and exposes his helplessness in front of them, what will they do if they don't comfort him?That is tantamount to letting others hurt yourself on your own initiative! Therefore, he must be psychologically protected.And in this way, they can only use other psychological strategies to attract attention and create problems in front of them that seem to deserve attention.In this way, on the one hand, colleagues can comfort themselves and get compensation; on the other hand, they can overwhelm them in momentum so that they do not expose their psychological weakness. Unfortunately, colleagues are completely uncoordinated.No one understood his weird language.He feels frustrated, so the signal is stronger, that is, the language behavior is more abnormal.Unfortunately, not only was it not taken seriously, but also dissatisfied by colleagues. What happened to him psychologically at this time?He hates them!The reason is that when he asks them for help, no matter how he conceals it under the drive of psychological protection, he is already in a psychologically weak state and is in danger of being regarded as a neuropathy. Then, psychologically, he will unilaterally sign a psychological agreement with them. Contract: You should value me. In other words, he made a bet psychologically.If a colleague doesn't pay attention to it, or even expresses dissatisfaction, it means that the colleague has broken the contract abominably. What is he going to do next?Take revenge on them! He laughed wildly and horribly, pretending to be the general manager telling some colleagues to leave and others to stay. If you interpret these words and deeds as crazy, then you must be at fault.No, he's not crazy.He was just psychologically intimidating and teasing them in this seemingly crazy form. Let's sort out his psychological logic before jumping off the building. The psychological logic before jumping off the building is as follows: Being hit and hurt in some way, he has an urge to destroy himself to seek relief.This is his psychological background 1 - but he doesn't want to die.This is his psychological background 2 - to resolve this psychological conflict, he turned to his colleagues for help.Under psychological protection, he signals by becoming "abnormal", hoping to attract attention and seek comfort.He unilaterally signed a psychological contract with his colleagues—if the colleagues didn’t cooperate, he was psychologically frustrated—the psychological contract unilaterally signed with the colleagues was violated, which stimulated him. With hatred for the colleagues, he simply let go and played more Crazier. Eventually he lost control, smashed objects and jumped off the building.How should this be understood? The psychological logic of jumping off a building: Deterrence—Through his hatred of his colleagues, his psychology becomes strong and fearless: Aren't you dissatisfied with me and regard me as a lunatic?Okay, I'll do it to the end and scare you to death! Duo Nuo——I lost the psychological bet I made, and I am willing to accept the bet, and I admit it.Since I can't find a reason to stop myself from killing myself, I have to be a man who doesn't hold back. Revenge——Male next door, I will show you my death and despise you! Do you see it?His suicide by jumping off a building was no longer just the result of the original motive of wanting to destroy himself.From his performance, we can think that the psychological background that led to his suicide has changed.That is to say, it turned out that there was a blow that made him want to commit suicide to get rid of it, but now, this psychological background has dimmed, and now he is being ignored, which stimulates him to take revenge by suicide. The truth is cruel, but it is even more cruel when we don't see it or ignore it. The more a person is in the psychological background of fear, anxiety, tension, and great hope, the weaker the psychological resistance is, and the easier it is to have psychological problems.So, how does a symptom of a psychological problem arise and how to eliminate it? I would like to say that in terms of self-analysis and self-knowledge, sorting out our psychological logic is a very high level. The fourth application of our psychological logic is to see clearly how a psychological symptom, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, comes from. Let's take a look at a girl who is very sensitive to noise. She is suffering from a kind of obsessive-compulsive disorder - "noise sensitivity". This symptom is also reflected physically, that is, headache. Because of this symptom, she missed the university of her choice and her work was greatly affected. When this girl was young, her parents were at odds, which brought her some harm. She was very autistic and rarely communicated with her parents.In high school, she even wanted to leave the house.Because of this, she has a strong desire to compete and refuses to admit defeat. She has been a "three good students" since she was a child.In middle school, in order to surpass other classmates, I often stayed up late to study.Kind, not used to trouble others. In the third year of high school, the problem came. One day, she was nervously preparing for an exam in the classroom.Hearing someone coughing distracted her slightly at first.But there was still a coughing sound, and she was upset, restless, and greatly affected.Later, this voice that appeared every few minutes became the biggest obstacle to disturbing her self-study and lectures. At that time, she got up very early every day, earlier than everyone else.But after sitting in the classroom, learning is not efficient.Not as good as those lazy students. I remember one class meeting, the head teacher mentioned this problem, saying that other students reported that someone coughed and affected their studies. She knew that she was not the only one who had this kind of trouble.This made her more agree that it was the cough that affected her study.Eventually, it got worse and she started getting headaches when she heard the sound. When I arrived at university, it began to ease, but the "noise sensitivity" was still lingering.Whenever she needs to concentrate on doing things, such as reading and studying, the symptoms will be more obvious. When she was a sophomore, her boyfriend had a habit of clearing his throat, which had a great impact on her and aggravated her symptoms.On the one hand, she suffered from it. For example, whenever she heard her boyfriend clear her throat or cough, even when he was not around, she started to have a headache when she thought about it or thought about him.She instinctively wanted to break up and get relief; but on the other hand, she had a good relationship with her boyfriend, and she felt that it was unfair to him to break up with her boyfriend for her own reasons. After work, the "noise sensitivity" still exists and begins to expand: not only hearing other people's coughing or throat clearing, but also the sound of closing doors, the sound of office telephones, etc., in that environment It is easy to be overlooked in the middle, as long as she notices, it will become a factor affecting her.She realized this was affecting her, and reflexively developed a headache.The more you want to get rid of it, the worse it gets.When it is serious, there is no state for a day, and the work is inefficient. Psychological background 1——Because her parents are not in harmony, she has some kind of inferiority complex, and she also knows that she cannot rely on her parents. She must rely on herself in her future life, she must escape from that family without warmth, escape from that unsatisfactory self, so she studied hard since she was a child, Competitive.She regards studying hard as a way to save herself.Obviously, she will pressurize herself, force herself to do so, and she is always in a state of tension; psychological background 2-a person who forces herself to work hard and maintain a state of tension, is also the most sensitive.He is afraid of any interference from unexpected factors, because these factors that he cannot control and affect him will destroy his efforts psychologically, and destroying his efforts will inevitably affect the results of his efforts.This girl is exactly like this; stimulation——with such a psychological background, she is nervously preparing for the exam in the classroom.At this time, someone coughed, which irritated her and distracted her attention.The psychological consequence of the distraction was that she was afraid of being interrupted and could not continue studying.However, the coughing continued, every few minutes.This stimulated her psychological structure and aroused her fear that she would not be able to study.As a result, she was upset, anxious, and her mood was greatly affected; intensified-the coughing sound did not stop after that one time.Therefore, the more nervous and sensitive you are, the easier it is to be affected by coughing, and the more you are affected by coughing, the more nervous and sensitive you are, and the more afraid you will not be able to learn.And she goes to school very early every day, but her studies are not as efficient as her lazy classmates.So, coughing became the killer of her study.She also objectified this point, because from the head teacher, she confirmed this point; symptom formation-she wanted to study well, want to succeed, and fear of failure in her efforts, such fears were thus associated with coughing, Because the fear of coughing is the fear of failure, and the fear of failure is also the fear of coughing.Psychologically, since coughing is related to the fear of failure, as long as she is concentrating on something she wants to do well, she will have the fear of coughing. "Noise phobia" was thus formed, although it was only "cough phobia" at first.At the same time, "noise phobia" also has physical symptoms, which are headaches; symptoms intensify-once a person develops certain psychological symptoms, his mind will be weaker, his psychological background will be more fearful, more afraid, and more unable to bear the blow.Since she had just entered university, she did not need to be so nervous, so her "noise phobia" eased.However, in her sophomore year, her boyfriend's habit of clearing her throat, because it was noise, stimulated her psychological structure and aggravated her symptoms.Under moral pressure, she was afraid of noise and did not break up, causing psychological conflicts, which in turn exacerbated her symptoms; worsening—after work, she became more stressed and tense.Symptoms continue to increase and worsen.Since other sounds have the same disturbing function as coughing and throat clearing, and these will bring fear to her, she is not only sensitive to coughing and throat clearing, but also to any sound that may be heard, such as closing a door The voice of the phone, the voice of the office phone, etc., have become very sensitive.These voices have become factors affecting her.Psychologically, they had corresponded to her fears, but also to the physical effect of the symptom—the headache. She said it was "deadly built up" and "breathless".She confessed that she felt that life was meaningless several times because of it. Ok, now that the description is over, let's answer the question: how did her "noise sensitivity" occur and worsen, and what is the psychological logic? Here we see it: Once a symptom develops, it worsens itself. The reason is that the way we "treat" the fear behind the symptoms, or force ourselves to "don't think like this" or "don't do this", will create a psychological conflict with the psychological force of fear, making us more nervous, anxious, and fearful; Or, we simply act out the symptoms, gaining a sense of security by drilling into the ritual of obsessive-compulsive symptoms, that is, treating fear with the product of fear - obsessive-compulsive disorder. This method of drinking poison to quench thirst has only one end, and that is failure. You may ask, why should a person, who has been bothered by such a trivial disturbance for so long, be defeated by it? My answer is: because she looked at this insignificant disturbance with a pair of eyes of fear.But now, what she has to do is to escape from the symptoms and psychological background through self-psychological analysis!