Chapter 10 Chapter 9 Psychological Motivation

In terms of methodology, psychoanalysis belongs to the category of going straight to the yellow dragon, hitting the key points directly, and never going around in circles on the appearance of things. People often say not to play "the theory of killing the heart".It is used in debates, saying that one cannot violate the rules of the debate game, ignore what others say, but guess others' psychological motivations, and put a hat on them.This is logically guilty of the "fallacy of personal attack", which is relatively low-level.People who make such logical mistakes are either more insidious or mentally retarded.

However, in many non-debating occasions, because what we are dealing with is not the intellectual structure of human beings, but the psychological structure of human beings, we just want to "kill our hearts"! "Zhu Xin" means to decipher his psychological motivation, that is, the intention of his behavior.The highest state is to see through it at a glance, and then have a countermeasure in an instant. The first path to deciphering psychological motivation: use the formula of "identity, status...situation". A long time ago, in a middle school, a teacher was teaching a text called 问题 to a group of students.

I was one of these students at the time. There is about two minutes of time in class, which is used to analyze the sentence "the only person who is standing and drinking and wearing a long gown" in the text.Of course, everyone knows that the answer must be very textbook. However, after completing the routine procedure of brainwashing, the teacher gave his exclusive opinion.He asked us to imagine: "Students, Kong Yiji appeared in a place where there are customers in long clothes, but more customers in short clothes are eating, drinking and looking for fun!" My junior high school Chinese teacher probably didn’t expect that many years later, one of his students found the easiest way to decipher a person’s psychological motivation from brother Yiji: put his identity, status...into someone dealing with others context.

The principle is very clear: when A and B are dealing with each other, their minds and psychology are not empty, but they carry many backgrounds such as identity, status, interest demands, hobbies, values, cognition, and desires.In my words, these things constitute his psychological background. These psychological backgrounds will drive a person to identify himself in a certain situation, or to compete with others for interests and psychology.So, when we are in contact with a human being, we are actually in contact with his whole being, what he looks like and his psychological background! This means that what A and B say, the poses they play, express, if not his self-identity, or his interest appeals, or psychological appeals-in short, it will definitely be affected by his psychological background!

Believe me, as long as you don't think a person is a fool, then don't think that every word he says and every action he plays is meaningless in itself, and there is no psychological motivation behind it! I would like to say that "identity, status...-situation", that is, "psychological background-situation" is an easy formula to decipher psychological motivation, and in some cases, put it together, we can even predict what a person will say What will you do.And if he has already said and done, and push forward, you can know what his psychological motivation is. The most familiar and simple example is that a salesman sells products to customers. What he says and the tricks he plays-no matter what he says or what tricks he uses, his psychological motivation is clear at a glance: to get the customer.His identity is a salesperson, and the situation he is in is the interaction with customers during sales, and he sells for profit.

Let's look at another equally simple example. There is a person in the system who usually has a good relationship with his boss, and gets very close in private, calling him a brother.However, in public, the boss's attitude towards him completely changed, full of official airs, which made him very depressed. I don't need to say this sentence, do I? ——His boss actually just wronged him to cooperate when performing to the audience! Translating the boss's Pose into the inner language is equivalent to saying to him: "Brother, in front of others, I have to pretend to look like a leader, don't you know that? You should cooperate with me in acting. When I order you to do something, you must obey it quickly and give me a face, do you understand?"

Under such circumstances, whether it is based on humanitarian spirit or interest considerations, I think many people will not refuse to cooperate: Convey (not directly say) this kind of information in language and actions - "Well, you are the boss and you have power. I never intend to deny this, especially in front of others!" Can it not match a person's outfit?Yes, when a person has no stake in you and politeness doesn't dictate that you should. Some situations are a little more complicated.But still keep in mind the formula "identity, status...-situation", that is, "psychological background-situation".

What we have to do is: grasp what constitutes a person's self-identity, identity, status, values, hobbies, interests, desires, cognition... or something else? A rich man, according to his status and interests, should speak for his class and despise the poor, right?However, some rich people do the exact opposite, they "betray" their own class.How can this be explained? Let's take a look at a group of thinkers called the "Frankfurt School", which was very powerful in the 20th century. The Frankfurt School still exists, named "Frankfurt University Institute for Social Research", located on the banks of the Rhine in Germany.It was established on February 3, 1923, and was forced to move to the United States after the Nazis came to power in the 1930s because of the persecution of Jews.After World War II, he moved back to Germany from the United States.Habermas, a world-class thought master, is its second-generation leader.

But what I want to talk about now is its first-generation leader, Horkheimer, and his colleagues. The names of this group include: Horkheimer, Adorno, Fromm, Marcuse, Benjamin, etc.I have mentioned Marcuse before, and I have mentioned Fromm many times. Almost all of them are Jewish, and almost all of them are rich children.However, they will not go racing, and they will not yell at the poor that "I will kill you with money".Instead, they devoted their lives to advocating for the dignity of the poor.No one is more thorough and profound than their criticism of the society that has caused serious social inequality, filth, darkness and filth, as well as the rich class.

Where does this kind of conscience and upbringing come from? The answer lies in what Horkheimer witnessed a female worker working in his factory. The Horkheimer family owned a factory that produced rayon.The female worker working in this rayon factory is named Katharina Klemmer. Klemmer was born in a poor family and grew up under the humiliation of his family and society.Later, she became unseemly pregnant and sold to an alcoholic.Suffering follows like a shadow.The alcoholic husband was sent to fight in World War I and never came back.The lives of both mother and son are in crisis. She ran to ask for relief, but the relief bureau took a prank to send one mark to her family every day.The civil servants ignored her at all, and even humiliated her wantonly.After eating potatoes for more than ten days, wearing tattered clothes, she finally found a job in Horkheimer's father's factory. When the salary was paid, her poor, starving children could finally drink some milk.But then the disease overwhelmed her again.She and her children will have to live on potatoes forever.

Horkheimer was being arranged by his father to learn management in this factory.He saw Klemmer's tragic condition and was greatly shocked.So, while writing a relief certificate to Klemmer, he could not restrain himself and wrote a letter to his cousin. The letter said: "We are cannibals, and we are complaining that the flesh of the slaughtered makes our stomachs hurt. You enjoy peace and property, while he is being strangled, bleeding, and struggling in pain, and he has to endure it in his heart." Misfortune like Katharina Kremer. The bed you sleep in, the clothes you wear, we force the hungry to make for us with our money, the whip of despotism. And you don't know, How many women fell by the machines making the material for your tuxedo, how many people died of poisonous gas so that your father could earn the money to pay for your recuperation. Why can't you read more than two pages of Dostoyevsky. We are a bunch of monsters, we suffer too little. It is ridiculous that a butcher in the slaughterhouse should be upset that his white apron is stained with blood. .” Yes.In this world, there is justice above interests, and conscience above the ranking of social values. This letter is the original source of the establishment of the Frankfurt School.What happened to Klemmer, a poor female worker, constituted the psychological background of Horkheimer's life.He and his colleagues chose to criticize instead of being an unscrupulous rich second generation, because as rich second generations, they have a sense of guilt, morality, and justice when facing Kremer. ! Speak up for the poor and become their self-identity. In this regard, I am not done yet.There are more complex situations, such as we see a person do something bad, stupid, but don't know why he did it. At this time, our principle is: comprehensively sort out the information related to him, and see what can be connected with his behavior.That is to say, to see which psychological background is most likely to activate and drive his behavior.If these psychological backgrounds can psychologically rationalize his behavior, then this is the psychological motivation for his behavior. In Belgium, a welder named Amrani ran into a city square one day and suddenly started killing the crowd.He first bombed with a grenade, and then opened fire on the crowd with a rifle and a pistol, causing a major personal safety accident that killed five people. This Mr. Amrani also committed suicide - of course, it must be "suicide in fear of crime". Before going to the square to kill, he remitted all his cash to his wife's account and left a message saying "I love you".So, after the murder, some media said that he was expressing that he hated other people but loved his wife. Because Amrani is dead, his motive for the killing remains a mystery, and police say they don't know.But can we decipher his psychological motivations?Of course! Pay attention to these details: This man usually likes to play with guns.He was arrested and jailed for growing marijuana and collecting weapons.At that time, the police seized a submachine gun, a sniper rifle with a scope, a rocket launcher, hundreds of rounds of ammunition and some silencers in his home. Remember this detail again: before he kills, he blows up with a grenade and then shoots. Think about it, what is the function of a gun?Shoot, kill, right? Think about it again, is it very depressing and depressing for a person to take a gun aiming around all day, tearing it apart, but can't kill anyone? Therefore, using our "identity, status...-situation" formula, we can see that in such a situation, his hobbies are stimulated, forming a secret psychological motive for murder. In his heart, there is always a A powerful desire drove him to fire at the crowd!For this, he can even do it with death. I want to say that hobbies, values, self-identity...all these things are all mysterious codes that drive our behavior.Whatever a person is good at, if it is a good thing, he will succeed on that one; if it is a bad thing, it may be on that one. Of course, people like Amrani are driven by their hobbies to play for real, and when they want to kill, they will of course have hesitation and fear in their hearts. After all, people don’t want to die.Because of this, in order to let himself go completely, he chose to explode with a grenade to create an atmosphere and let himself enter the role.When the explosion sounded, like the music of the show, he went on stage and went from a guy who just took apart guns for fun to a real shooter. The second path to deciphering psychological motivation: seeing a person playing psychological protection. At this point, we have to ask: Does such a cruel, inhuman person really love his wife as much as the media claims? This brings us to our second killer in deciphering psychological motivation: seeing a person playing psychological protection.In the first part of this book, I have revealed that in many cases, when a person says or does something (whether it is "normal" or weird), there may be only one meaning: to protect himself psychologically. If a person's language and behavior are weird and exaggerated, you should pay close attention to it.Because, he was tantamount to exposing himself in a high-profile way.His language and behavior are not in harmony with the facts or the situation, so it is obvious that he is going to cover up and avoid something; or, he is a bit unnatural and exaggerated, he must be trying to cover up and package something! Take out your little notebook and write this down?Some words, although I said them, still have the power of "one sentence is worth ten thousand sentences". Let's see if the welder loves his wife.The answer, of course, is: no. He didn't love anyone at all, including himself.The reason why he said love to his wife was entirely for himself, to prove to himself that he still has love and humanity. That is to say, psychologically, he wants to protect himself and experience the meaning of his behavior, and he doesn't want to admit that he is just to kill.He wants to show that his motives are pure, that he just wants to implement his great ambition of becoming a real gunslinger! When many people do bad things, they often justify like this: "I just want to ×××." To emphasize, when we use the trick of "seeing a person playing psychological protection" to decipher psychological motivation, it can be applied to many situations.However, if you find that someone speaks or acts strangely, abnormally, or exaggeratedly, then definitely use this method! In life, we may encounter a person who has a bad temper and gets angry at every turn.It's an exaggeration to make a person like this for a trivial matter, isn't it? So what does he want to do?Do you think you are awesome? If you meet this kind of person, you can immediately judge that he is protecting himself psychologically.He played this kind of angry pose, in fact, through anger, to cover up his inner powerlessness and failure.Because playing has become a habit and a "personality", it has become an automatic response mechanism that he is not aware of. If you stay calm, watch his eyes, look at his contorted face, you will definitely see this. Let's look at another situation. A girl once asked me a question like this on the Internet: "When a person sees the world so thoroughly, is it tiring to live? Sometimes I feel that the more thorough the view, the less meaningful life is, or the less Is it too dangerous to think of the meaning we originally thought?" Do you know what she is trying to say? She dared not face herself, and wanted to stop herself from knowing more truths!How do I know this?It's very simple, whether a person is tired or not has nothing to do with whether he sees the truth of the world logically, but only psychologically.And her words showed a kind of fear of "truth". Then the situation is clear: she has been hurt, but not deeply, knowing that the world is sometimes cruel.But because of the lack of defense ability, I don't want to know the "truth" of the world, because the more blurred, simpler and better the world is in my heart, the less I will be hurt and "tired".For this reason, she even prefers to live in falsehoods and illusions, and does not want to walk out from the place that once gave her a sense of security. I have summed up some simple formulas to decipher psychological motivation starting from psychological protection.This concludes the narration of this chapter. These formulas can actually be induced by yourself when you learn to use the method of deciphering psychological motivation. a. When a person is very sensitive to other people's words and always suspects that others say bad things about him, please believe that he is afraid of being hit by others.To prevent himself from being hit, he must "preemptively strike" and mentally believe that others are playing tricks on him. b. When a person seems to be verbally aggressive, it can only prove one thing: he feels that he is a failure, but he dare not face it.Because a person's external attack is the result of his inner being destroyed. c. When a person does not trust anyone, his psychological motivation is very clear: he has been hurt by "acquaintances" and has no sense of security. d. When a person likes to be in the limelight, the more lively the place is, the more he can play vigorously, but as long as he is alone, he can't stand it. The answer is only: he is very empty and anxious.