Chapter 42 4.Not afraid of small animals

Many people are afraid of certain small animals, and that is a painful experience.Those who have no or no deep fear cannot experience that kind of torture. I am very afraid of a small animal, not only living things, but also pictures, and even words.I used to like to watch "Animal World" on TV, but because I accidentally saw this kind of small animal on the camera, I never dared to watch this show again.Even if the program talks about other animals that have nothing to do with it, I dare not watch it, for fear of encountering it.So when writing about this question here, you can't write the name of this little animal, otherwise this article won't go on.I know it's sick, but I can't get over it.It is not a matter of perseverance, just as it is impossible for a person to cure a disease by perseverance.I once took a counseling course in college.There is a class on how to overcome the fear of small animals.The teacher uses "desensitization therapy", let us close our eyes, imagine that the thing we are afraid of is far, far away, and then let it slowly move towards us little by little.Whenever you feel scared, stop for a while, let yourself get used to it, and then move forward when you can accept it.

Through this method, some students gradually feel that a certain small animal they are afraid of is not so scary and can be accepted.There are only a few people who can't do it, and I'm one of them.Because I couldn't accept the existence of that thing at all, let alone let it move closer, as long as there was a little image in my sight, I was so scared that I quickly opened my eyes.Treating my fears psychologically seems to be difficult.I have often thought that if this problem could have been solved in my childhood, it might have been much easier. I thought carefully about the root of my fear, and thought it might have something to do with my mother being also afraid of this small animal.I vaguely remember my mother's frightened expression when she suddenly saw this small animal when I was very young.When she found out that I was also afraid of this small animal, she took great care to protect me from being frightened.For example, if my brother scares me with this kind of small animal toys, my mother will criticize him and say, don’t you know that my sister is afraid of this?This may also be a psychological hint for me.Whatever the reason, having been inoculated with such fears and deeply distressed by it, I hope my children will not have such perplexities.Girls in particular tend to be afraid of something, we are very careful about this and try to make Yuanyuan not afraid of anything.I took her to observe and appreciate various small animals, snakes in glass boxes, woodworms under adobe, and even spiders.

At first, I was a little afraid of spiders, but I was not too afraid, and I could bear it. In order to make Yuanyuan not afraid, I had the courage to observe with her, and finally even dared to grab it with my hands.On the surface, I always acted like I wasn't afraid at all, and even liked it.As for the little animal that I am most afraid of, I asked her father to lead her to see it many times.When her dad watched it with Yuanyuan, he deliberately talked about it in an admiring tone, implying how cute this little animal is. I don't know whether it's heredity or I have been hinted by a certain expression on my face. When Yuanyuan saw this little animal for the first time, she also seemed to want to hide.Unable to stand the guidance of my father, I slowly accepted it.Now she is not afraid of this animal at all, nor is she afraid of other small animals.She doesn't like some small animals, but at most she doesn't need to grab them with her hands, and she doesn't need to endure any pain of fear.

A few experiences I have come up with in this regard are: First, what adults are afraid of, don't show it in front of children, especially when children are young.For example, when Yuanyuan was a child, I never let her know that I was afraid of that little animal.When I was telling her a story, I came across it in a book by chance.If it had been the way it was before, I would have thrown the book away in a fright.But in order not to frighten Yuanyuan, she endured it and found an excuse to quickly turn this page.When Dad took her to see the little animal, I just pretended to do other things, so that she wouldn't know that I was afraid to go and see it together.When she grows up and realizes that I'm afraid of that kind of thing, it won't affect her.

Second, if the child has shown something to be afraid of, create an opportunity for him to get in touch with that thing slowly and accept it a little bit. If you can find a way to let him accept it for the first time, it will become easier and easier in the future.I remember that when I was a child, I almost accepted that little animal once, because several children were playing with it, and I started to have some interest, but no one encouraged me at that time, and when I was about to accept it, I was reminded, you are afraid This, stop playing. Third, don't strengthen your child's fear of something out of protection, just divert attention.For example, when a child shows fear of something, don't comfort the child with a loving tone and say "don't be afraid, we are not afraid of it". This kind of comfort is an unconscious reward, making him feel that he should be afraid; Talk about other things in a light tone, divert the child's attention, let him feel that the parents do not care about his fears, so that he will feel that his fears may be unnecessary.

Fourth, don't tell others what he is afraid of in front of the child.This kind of talk from adults will strengthen his fear even more. There seems to be a saying that of all the negative feelings, such as sadness, anxiety, depression, etc., fear is the most tormenting."Fearless" in life is also a rare state, which needs to start from childhood, from specific small things.Don't let children have "fear".Not afraid of small animals, not afraid of "big bad wolf", not afraid of "policeman", not afraid of "ghost" - the reason is the same.