Chapter 26 5. "We need a ritual to let ourselves go."

"When you complete this ritual, you will find that it is not the lost person that causes you pain, but the lost love." The homework this time is to read Mitch Albom with Mr. Ye. "When I was young, she was the one who read pillow fairy tales to me. Now, it's my turn to read to her. The feeling is very novel and enjoyable." Every night at ten o'clock, Mrs. Lu goes to bed on time to listen to her son telling stories. It took Mr. Ye a week and a half to finish reading the entire book. During this period, Mrs. Lu called me to tell me that since Xiaoye started reading this book to her, she never had any "nightmare".

"Aren't you going to do it again?" she asked me hopefully. "This, I can't promise you." I am always open and honest and do not say things that are insincere just to make the client feel comfortable. The person who tied the bell is needed to untie the bell. Once a person's self-healing power is deprived, even if he enters the recovery period, he will not be able to work automatically and spontaneously as usual in just a few months.I am also a therapist who believes in the power of the ego, so I recommend bibliotherapy. Words can inspire people infinitely, especially in a good state, which is enough to stimulate a person's desire to act and learn. Mrs. Lu needs to accumulate positive spiritual strength, and more importantly, she needs to learn from Mr. Ye's patience.The communication, interaction and sharing between their mother and child affect Mrs. Lu all the time. The support and encouragement between relatives often comes from emotional instinct, which is undoubtedly the most natural spiritual healing agent.

On the afternoon of the third Sunday, we met again to talk about Mickey's book. "When I am about to leave, I hope to say goodbye to my relatives and friends like the professor in the book, and die with a happy and peaceful heart." When Mrs. Lu said this, Mr. Ye's expression fluctuated slightly. He was still not used to his mother talking about such topics so bluntly. The difference is the calmness of death. "There's a lot of homework that needs to be done to actually do that." "Yeah, so, I don't want to end my TAROT consultation so soon."

"Are you sure I can help you?" "Oh, I'm sure, very, very sure." Mrs. Lu and I both revealed smiles that explained our past suspicions. Mr. Ye silently observed the way the two of us talked, and he probably realized something. "I found that there was an equality and harmony between the two of you that was hard to come by between me and her." "That's because she is your mother. Your previous relationship was far more complicated and intense than Mrs. Lu's. The stronger the relationship, the easier it is for people to feel unequal." "I don't understand you."

"I can explain it to you with two TAROT cards representing different emotional levels." I drew the Two of Cups and Ten of Cups from the TAROT Cup deck and placed them side by side in front of them. "If you observe the emotional relationship between two people, if you draw these two cards, it can be interpreted as a relationship of equality and harmony, knowing yourself and the enemy, and having enough spiritual understanding." "But if you want to ask, which kind of relationship will be more stable and lasting, it must be this Holy Ten of Cups." "The difference between these two cards is...?"

"Freedom." I deliberately pushed the Ten of Cups in front of Mr. Ye. "These two cards have completely different interpretations of human emotional freedom." "The Two of Cups describes a balanced friendship, partnership, or love relationship. It is a relationship of equals, a high degree of matching, and the ability to respond to each other's needs in a timely manner. Therefore, they can be in harmony. Together. However, in the TAROT Holy Grail deck, the Holy Grail Two usually describes a relatively 'young', growing emotional relationship with a good foundation, but it is unknown whether it can go far."

"Kind of like newlyweds." Mrs. Lu interrupted me with great interest. "In the end it's someone who came here." I smiled and encouraged her. "The TAROT Holy Grail set represents the most real 'mental journey' in life. From the first trump card to the last Holy Grail Ten, it shows the conditions and laws for the complete development of human emotions one by one, including the conditions and laws that must be faced during development. Various situations, as well as self-coordination and coping methods, it can be seen that there are still many problems that need to be experienced and resolved in order to go from the Second of the Holy Grails to the Tenth of the Holy Grails.

"Because you are young and immature, the relationship with the Two of the Holy Grails will become reversed if you are not careful." I turned the cards upside down. "The Reversed Holy Grail Two means that two people want to control each other. Naturally, the reason is that the concentration of love is too strong and the relationship is too close. If you go down the reversed position, it will become a kind of continuous high pressure. state, and then completely evolved into a blind power struggle." "Is the relationship with the Ten of Holy Grails able to withstand such a test?"

"The relationship between the Ten of Cups has been different from that of the Two of Cups from the very beginning." I clearly clarified Mr. Ye's question. "The Ten of Holy Grails are based on mutual benefit and equal cooperation. This is not a purely commercial term. The mutual benefit and equal cooperation I refer to does not refer to business relationships. It is just one of the complicated and changeable interpersonal relationships." This, the deep spiritual meaning of the Holy Grail, is precisely to describe a relationship of love without any conditions. "Based on the weakness of human nature, it is actually impossible to truly love someone unconditionally. Especially in parent-child relationships, it is even more difficult, but this does not mean that we cannot do it. There are many people who grow old together Husbands and wives, and families who love each other have completed this difficult life task unconsciously, and TAROT's Ten of Grails implies such a harmonious and happy relationship.

"The most important difference between the Ten of Cups and the Two of Cups is the difference in foundation. The Ten of Cups' understanding of love is more humane and deeper. What it focuses on is tolerance for human weaknesses, respect for imperfect personality, and listening to your lover with your soul. From the bottom of my heart, the voice longing for freedom." "This card reminds me of a very cheesy saying." Mrs. Lu interrupted. "I don't care about eternity, I only care about what I once had." Mr. Ye and I laughed at the same time, she is really a lovely old lady.

"What your mother said was the most difficult two words in our parent-child relationship - let go. When I was young, she was the one who couldn't let go of you, but now, it's you who can't let go of her. " Mr. Ye has to admit that my words are completely in line with his current mentality, especially, his mother has become a loner in advance. "I can assert without exaggeration that if you don't understand how to 'let go' of your emotions and get along with each other in a way that truly respects each other's deep-seated desires, the life of your mother and son living together in the future will not be very easy." I mentioned this topic because Mrs. Lu promised Mr. Ye to move in with them last time. This will completely change the long-term living pattern of the two families. I have to remind them. "Then I still don't want to move there." Mrs. Lu really hesitated. "No! You must live with me, otherwise how can I rest assured?" "Have you seen his desire to control? This is just the beginning!" Mr. Ye looked at me sharply, and in his eyes, I immediately became a bad guy with malicious intentions and disrupting the situation. "Oh, don't tell me this is your family business. Mrs. Lu is my visitor. I have the right to fight for some independent autonomy for her future life." Mr. Ye withdrew his dissatisfaction for the time being, but was still very unhappy. Mrs. Lu's expression was completely opposite to his. Suddenly, she felt the difference between herself and those Buddhist friends, and she began to seriously think about how she would live her life in the future. "You have to understand why I'm doing this." I patiently said to Mr. Ye. "I have always advocated that the closer people are, the more they should keep a certain distance between them, and give each other a little more space for themselves. No matter what age a person is, the desire for spiritual freedom will not weaken at all, on the contrary, it will intensify. Especially the elderly, the biggest problem they face is "not free", the body gradually weakens, the movement gradually slows down, and the intelligence and acceptance also begin to decline. The excessive filial piety and care of their children will unknowingly cut off their relationship with them. Links to the outside world, losing their social attributes ahead of time, leaving only a lonely personal attribute and family attribute, this kind of life is an invisible cage for them.” "Why does it sound so serious?" Mr. Ye couldn't accept it for a while. "But it is indeed true. Some of the Buddhist friends I have contacted are actually not that pious. It is just an excuse for them to temporarily escape the control of their children, come out to breathe, and do whatever they like." He was silent. "Mr. Ye, I must remind you. If you just blindly use your way to arrange your mother's future life instead of giving her what she wants, then everything I do now is meaningless of." "You mean, if she still wants to hang out with those Buddhist friends, I have to tolerate it?" "certainly." "Why can't she have her own social circle? You go to work during the day, and she is already bored at home alone, and you can't see her working, and you have to take care of things. Most of the time you spend together at night is in front of the TV." Staring at you, if it were you, would you have thought about this kind of life?" "That's right, that's the way it is now!" Mrs. Lu immediately jumped up from the sofa. "But those old men and women, what's the point of messing around all day long?" "That's her life, you just have to understand, you don't need to know what that means to her." "Xiaoye, I'm no longer what I used to be. What you said hurt Teacher Shen's heart too much." "I don't mean that." Mr. Ye was embarrassed by his mother's words. I immediately shook my head and smiled. Mrs. Lu is very sensitive, so I didn't think about it at all. "You already have the foundation of the Second Holy Grail, but whether you can reach the Tenth Holy Grail depends on your mutual cooperation and hard work." "So, where do we even begin?" Mr. Ye began to try to accept my point of view. "My suggestion is to start by learning to let go of your love for your father together." My words once again unexpectedly subverted the emotional world of their mother and son. "Only by truly letting go of the old man can we face the person in front of us more truly." "I've let it go." Mr. Ye muttered to himself. "You didn't. If you let go, you won't be so worried about your mother, and you won't want to keep her by your side all the time, for fear that she will leave you suddenly just like your father." They both fell silent at the same time, and grief swept over their hearts again. Mrs. Lu was a little annoyed, why did those persistent sorrows linger so much? "Obsessions can only be eliminated by diluting time and life slowly. I think one of the reasons why Mrs. Lu needs to continue TAROT counseling is that she needs someone to remind her from time to time, 'I am living in the present moment. '. "Actually, we can also have a "Meeting on Sunday"." The eyes of both of them lit up at the same time. "What are we talking about?" "Talk about the person you can't let go of, and make up a farewell ceremony for him. "Just as you hoped." My eyes turned gently to Mrs. Lu. The eyes she took over were full of long-lost happiness and unbearable joy. "Besides, I have a special request." "I ask you to bring something related to him to share with me every time. I believe that you all cherish some special memories about him. Let's take a look after you have sorted out all these memories. How to deal with these relics." "You mean, after the story is finished, things can't be taken back?" Mr. Ye obviously understood the meaning behind my design of "Meeting on Sunday". "We need a ritual to let ourselves go. "When you complete the ritual, you will find that what hurts you is not the loss of the person, but the loss of the love." "Love is the hardest thing to let go of." "Then let us walk the path of the Holy Grail again. TAROT will use its special language to convince you that the reason why love can be let go is because it has the characteristics of eternity. It is the only substance in the universe that never disappears." "So, we must let love die naturally, so that it may become an eternal existence." Mr. Ye's prophecy from the bottom of his heart means that my TAROT card and I are about to embark on an eternal journey to the Ten of Holy Grails. The End