Chapter 24 3. "Mysticism does not exist to make your life more painful."

"It was a real nightmare to haunt." When we met for the second time, we still chose that cafe. The sky was a little gray and it was going to rain. Mrs. Lu's attire hasn't changed much, it's as gray as the rainy day, but the cumbersome accessories on her body have been significantly reduced. "You mean this card, right?" I took out the reversed moon card again. "yes." "This is indeed the state that bothers me the most. I spend almost every night in nightmares, only..." "Only when you chant scriptures and worship Buddha can you feel a moment of tranquility."

Mrs. Lu nodded. "You can still maintain this habit every day." "is it okay?" "Of course, having faith is a very healthy state of life." "However, eating vegetarian food and reciting Buddha's name will not solve the problem." I laughed. "Is a belief that cannot solve a problem not a belief? Or is it no longer worthy of our belief when it loses its due halo?" "What you said is reasonable. It has nothing to do with belief. It's how you look at belief." Mrs. Lu nodded. "Before I met you, what was faith to me? I have never thought about this question."

"Probably a placebo." "Placebo?" Mrs. Lu found this comparison very fresh. "Faith is often the best placebo for sorrow and pain. Some people have indeed been reborn from faith, mostly because they have truly entered the world of metaphysics. It is an absolutely real world without any halo effect. These people are the "people who have attained the Tao" that we often hear. Of course, whether they really "obtained the Tao" is another matter. Let's classify such people into one category, and there are only a handful of them. People's understanding of beliefs still stays above its superficial halo. In fact, this is understandable. On the contrary, having one's own beliefs, especially for the mental health of middle-aged and elderly people, will have a considerable balancing and coordinating effect. After all , Openly discussing the topic of death is mostly within the category of metaphysics and mysticism."

"The placebo has stopped working for me." Mrs. Lu looked very depressed. "As for me, I still have nightmares." "Then let's play TAROT Dream Interpretation." Mrs. Lu was quite uncomfortable with the statement "Let's play TAROT". I admire her respect for occultism, but my job is to subvert this blind respect and let her really contact and feel TAROT. Any "cheat book", no matter how powerful it is, needs to interact with people to exert its so-called "magic effect", isn't it? "Dream interpretation? What kind of solution?"

"It needs to work with my intuition and your feelings. TAROT is just a medium between us." She kind of understood that what I meant by "wanwan" was not referring to TAROT itself, but the function it played among us. "Calm down, look back at your dream, even a fragment, and then pick one at random." Mrs. Lu meditated seriously for a moment, and drew a card from the fan-shaped cards. I put this card under the reversed moon. It's an upright Two of Cups. It was a pretty positive emotional card, and it had nothing to do with the so-called "nightmare", which made me feel a little weird.

"Pick another one to see." I have to continue to observe in order to see clearly the pattern of the dream. The second one is the upright Three of Cups. Nurturing new life, celebrating new beginnings? The third one is the six of the Holy Grails. A stable family, emotional harmony, and incomparably peaceful contentment. The fourth card is the inverted Eight of Cups. Unable to face the torn emotions and helpless departure. The fifth card is the five of grails. Depression, unfathomable grief, stuck in the past... I didn't wake up until the moment when the Five of Cups appeared.

An indescribable sadness and desolation knocked on the door of my heart, which made me feel a little overwhelmed for a while. "Do you still want to smoke?" Mrs. Lu carefully observed my touched expression, guessing my mood at the moment. "Oh, no need." I rearranged the cards, and the reversed moon card was still at the top.On the screen, the goddess wandering in the dim forest lost her connection with nature because of being upside down, and seemed at a loss and helpless. This is the truest portrayal of Mrs. Lu's heart at this moment. "A nightmare isn't really a nightmare, but it does make you feel really bad."

"That's a nightmare." On this point, she is still persistent. "Not necessarily. The reason why you call it a nightmare is probably because the picture it presents is too real." Mrs. Lu didn't understand me, so I had to start the story from the beginning. "Dreams begin with the Two of Cups. "At that time, you were just married, and your dreams were filled with the joy of newlyweds; then, the Three of Cups, Mr. Ye was born, that is your treasure, your love, for which you celebrate, and for which you are grateful for the beauty of life; and then When it comes to the Six of Cups, although your half-life marriage has mixed flavors, it is full of ordinary tranquility and harmony. For him and you, it is a great satisfaction in life; when it comes to the Eight of Cups, the cards begin to reverse , one person left first, and the other, like a lone goose whose mate was taken away by a hunter, mourned every day, calling for the lost lover, hoping that he could return to his side..."

At this point, my voice started to choke. "Finally, it is the reversed Five of the Holy Grails, life is over because of this, without him, everything is meaningless, so you would rather believe that he is living in a world you don't know, And you, as long as you live in the sadness of losing him forever, you can be with him..." I can't speak anymore. It was a veritable, never-ending "nightmare" scene. What could be more painful than recurring daily dreams of the best moments of your life, only to wake up and have to face the reality of what was lost forever?

Mrs. Lu could no longer hide her grief, and burst into tears in an instant. All eyes in the cafe were focused on this tragic corner. The moment finally came. Let the tears run freely in the unguarded emotional catharsis, which is what she has always wanted to do but failed to do. However, for heavy grief, it is a necessary baptism, and only those who have experienced such a baptism Only then can she see clearly the truest face of sadness and pain, and only then can a new start be possible. Mrs. Lu began to describe the details of those dreams intermittently to me. We still used TAROT as a bridge of communication. During that hour, I hardly spoke or even responded, but just focused on what she narrated Everything, every sentence, every word.

The memories and bits and pieces of the past are presented more clearly. I am deeply moved by the ordinary love of this ordinary family all the time, and I gradually understand Mr. Ye's strong self and heart-warming personality. How charm is practiced. This kind of remembrance itself is mixed with countless pains. We are talking about a life that has never existed and his unfinished life. There are too many regrets and regrets that need to be dealt with. The person in front of me, her I have just awakened myself, and I must take care of her carefully and support her with all my heart. During this process, she may be completely crushed by pain at any time. So, after Mrs. Lu's irresistible "gaffes" repeatedly, I decided to end today's meeting early. When I made this request, Mrs. Lu let out a sigh of relief. "In the face of pain, we always instinctively suppress it, so when it comes out, it becomes an emotional havoc." "I feel exhausted. "First, my parents left one after another within a year. Immediately afterwards, my husband also had an accident. I kept thinking, what did I do wrong? Why did God punish me like this?" "That's when his 'wheel of fortune' turned." I patiently explained the meaning of the tower card to Mrs. Lu. "It has nothing to do with you." "After all, I still can't let go, can't let go..." She repeated "can't put it down" twice. I am sure that she has found the truest feeling in her heart after bearing the shock of the successive deaths of her relatives.At the same time, I was also affected by her negative emotional blowout, and we both need a little time to digest and adjust. "The power of sadness and pain is so powerful, I always thought that these feelings would pass quickly." "It's actually difficult." "It's really tough." She nodded, forcing a smile on me. "Your TAROT and you give me a very different feeling." "What's the difference?" Mrs. Lu seems embarrassed to compare me with those "masters" she has come into contact with in the past. In fact, I don't mind at all. Everyone has their own understanding and interpretation of occultism. I don't agree with it, and it doesn't mean I do not understand. "They have been trying to suppress my pain and grief in various ways, and you, trying to dig them out again, seems cruel, but it has helped me." "How can you find tiger cubs if you don't enter the tiger's den?" I used a metaphor that couldn't be more vulgar. "Human emotions need to be felt with the heart, and cannot be suppressed by any logical thinking or theological secret words. You can indulge yourself and let those negative emotions accumulate day after day, but sooner or later, you will reach a limit. By that time , most likely a one-off destruction." "So, from the moment the pain starts to pile up, you must face it bravely and actively find ways to unload the pain, so as not to let yourself live in pain forever." "Your understanding of those mysterious and mysterious knowledge is fundamentally different from theirs." "The essence is the same. At a time when science has not been able to unravel the mysterious mysteries of occultism, one of the purposes of studying occultism is to dig out the truth and operating laws of the deep core of human emotion and spirit. This is the same as exploring scientific truth. There is no difference. In this regard, whether it is this kind of master or that kind of master, as long as they have a sense of self-responsibility, most of them will lead to the same goal. But, I think, TAROT, Ziwei, Yijing, constellations, these mystical tools are not It exists to make people's lives more painful, so never contact those who make you feel painful, no matter how many followers he has, no matter how high his reputation and status are, how powerful and amazing he makes you feel .” "I understand what you mean. Everyone has the right to pursue their own beliefs and the masters they recognize, but first of all, they must figure out what they are pursuing." "Exactly. "Everyone's internal psychological logic is the same. When you are with someone who always brings you negative consciousness and life philosophy, you will be affected by his field energy, and your destiny will naturally change dramatically. And those who really The person who can give you a sense of happiness and security, even if he is nameless, unremarkable, or even just a passer-by in your life, you should get close to him as much as possible, he is probably the most suitable one for you A spiritual teacher, because a true master will never base his majesty and divine power on the suffering of others." "No wonder, some people met the so-called master, and their fate didn't change in any way, and it even got worse." Mrs. Lu's assertion obviously contains her own experience. It's hard for me to comment on this, because I haven't been "fortunate" to meet such a person, at least, I don't have one around me. This may have something to do with my consistent insistence on only making friends with people who have a healthy magnetic field and are full of energy. "As much as possible, surround yourself with those who make you feel happy and empowered." "I'm afraid that also needs to be learned." Mrs. Lu's tone was quite emotional. "Any technology you are not familiar with needs to be patiently learned, even if it is a sentence you least often say." "For example, the sudden loss of a loved one is indeed an unbearable thing." Mrs. Lu's willingness to speak the truth is undoubtedly the most sincere affirmation of me and TAROT, but I am really afraid that she will regard me as some kind of "master" because of this.