Chapter 18 1. "Is it a sin to fall in love with someone who doesn't belong to you?"

August, the beginning of autumn, high temperature. Before writing this story, I specifically called Xiaoai. It has been 12 weeks since our consultation ended. I asked Xiaoai if I could include her case in the book, but of course I would not use her real name. "You don't need to ask me, I don't mind." She smiled brightly. Her lovely unilateral dimple naturally appeared in front of my eyes. "In any case, I still have to ask for your consent." "Okay, I have no problem, just write truthfully." "I understand that this is life, not fiction."

The fate between Xiaoai and me did not start from life, but from my novels. Before she became my visitor, she was a reader I only met once. Xiao Ai told me that one year, she came to Shanghai from Hangzhou to attend the small signing event I held at the Shanghai Book Fair. On that day, I only signed one book, but she brought four, three of which were old books. Without further ado, I signed for her. At that moment, I suddenly thought of that girl. Long ponytail, black eyes, thick and long eyelashes, like porcelain dolls. Goodbye, she was still in Shanghai. At another promotional event for her new book, she was very active in the front of the crowded media group, with a reporter badge from a certain newspaper on her chest.

I recognized her immediately. After the event, we met up to chat in a small cafe near the venue. I'll admit, she looks like she's grown a lot compared to the last signing. "I had just graduated from college at that time, and your novels were a compulsory course in my college days." I smiled happily, it felt so good to be paid attention to. "Are you still reading novels?" "Of course I read it. It's just that I don't have so much time. I can read at most one or two books a month, and sometimes I can't finish one." Xiao Ai talked about my new work casually, with a very professional tone, as if doing an exclusive interview.

"It's not your working hours anymore." I kindly remind her. "Yes." After finishing speaking, she unconsciously fell into silence, as if she didn't know how to continue except for the topic of the new book.It made me realize that she had something on her mind. "I heard you will count as TAROT." After a while, she asked me intentionally or unintentionally. I smile and nod. "However, I'm not a TAROT fortune teller." "Isn't TAROT used for fortune-telling?" "no." Although I have answered this question many times, someone will always ask it every time.

"TAROT is a tool for deep self-understanding." Xiao Ai frowned slightly, feeling a little puzzled. "First of all, it's yourself, and then, it's your destiny." I went on. "I've read your TAROT gender analysis in "Complete Fashion Lifestyle Manual", which is very interesting." "Ever tried touching TAROT?" I got the feeling she seemed very interested. "Just curious." "What are you curious about?" "Its accuracy, TAROT, is it accurate?" Her eyes were dubious. I took out the TAROT card I carried with me and planned to let her experience it for myself.

"Just pick one." She stared at me blankly for a while, a little timidly. "If you want to know the answer, you should try it yourself to be more convincing." She nodded cautiously, staring at the fan-shaped cards on the table with interest, still hesitating. She probably knew what was going to happen, and that's why she was so in awe. In college, it was very popular to play TAROT, and my intuition tells me that this is not her first time. If she didn't smoke, I wouldn't force it, but she still picked one randomly. Righteous Five of Cups. A sad little girl, standing by the pond, staring at a small goldfish in the fish tank in her hand.There are countless shattered glass shards under her feet, and the elves in the water are flying in front of her eyes, trying to say something to her, but she only focuses on the only little goldfish in her hand.

"Unfortunately." "What are you sorry about?" She looked at my face in surprise. "You're in love with someone you shouldn't be in love with." "Accurate!" Xiao Ai was convinced. "But what's the use of it?" I asked calmly. Xiao Ai thought about my words carefully, and seemed to understand something I wanted to express to her, another meaning of the TAROT card. "Yeah, what's the use of quasi, and it can't help me solve the problem..." She didn't want to open up to me. I can understand, after all, we don't know each other well, but I still hope that I can provide her with some help and support.

"Actually, TAROT is for playing." I put it another way.She opened her eyes very strangely, feeling incredible. "Assuming I'm the one playing cards with you, we don't need to ask questions, let alone predict anything, we just focus on the current game." "So, it's okay for you not to know any details about me?" She was skeptical and didn't think it would have any special meaning to herself. "I don't need to know that, we're just playing cards." I have to let her relax first, so that I can get close to her heart naturally.

"Then I can smoke whatever I want?" "certainly." Xiao Ai's expression was no longer so defensive, she thought, this is just a fun game. The second one draws the upright Eight of Swords. "What a complicated card." Xiao Ai's brows were locked together unknowingly. "Seeing this card, how do you feel?" "This woman seems to be trapped by eight swords. "Why do you blindfold yourself and tie your hands and feet?" "Because she wants to isolate herself from the outside world, not to see, not to hear, not to move."

"Who locked her up?" "Herself." "She locked herself up?" "yes." Inexplicable regret flashed across Xiao Ai's eyes, and she felt something. We're still playing, she asks, I answer, but I'm not going to explain any further. "This card is so dark in tone." She went on. "The dark tones represent the girl's state of mind at the moment and her inner world that is bound by herself." "She seems to have lost her senses." "yes." I can feel that the inner field energy between us is colliding and intersecting violently.

"EIGHT. This is the eighth card." "That's right, the eighth card of TAROT's Minor Arcana sword deck." "Does the eighth card have any special meaning?" "The 'eight' in the TAROT card represents power. For the woman in Eight Li of the Sword, this power comes from the ability to listen to her inner voice. The blindness of her eyes prevents her from making judgments through vision, and also limits her ability to get out of the predicament. ability, that's why she appears so powerless." Xiao Ai listened silently. "However, those around her can see her very clearly and follow their own goals to limit her ability to perceive herself." "You mean that someone prevented her from seeing clearly what she was thinking." "It's possible. "But it's also possible that that person is herself, her waking self that lives every day." "I want to draw another one." "OK." It seems that she is a bit addicted. The third one is the reversed sword two. "Oh? Faced with a choice." "What choice?" "This, only you know." I smiled at her and she didn't question it. "Also, you're still not going to make a decision." She thought for a while, then nodded to me. "indeed so." "Therefore, there is no solution." "What is unsolvable?" "As far as these three cards are concerned, there is no way to solve the problem you are facing right now." "The reason is?" "The reason is that you lose the efficiency of carrying things out reasonably, or making decisions decisively. You are limited by something, a dilemma, maybe an event, maybe a blind spot, maybe a kind of emotion, or , is an ignorant stubbornness." "What you said, probably I have." "Then what is the relationship between them? Where is the source, do you know?" "I know. But... no solution." She repeated the word and smiled at me resignedly, the bitterness in her mouth hard to hide. Xiao Ai picked up the drink on the table and fell back unconsciously, as if she didn't want to continue playing. That being the case, I silently put away the cards. At this moment, she suddenly raised her head to look at me. I involuntarily stopped the movement of my hands and followed her gaze. The dimples disappeared, and the face that was as bright and lovely as a porcelain doll was covered with a lingering haze. "Is it a sin to fall in love with someone who doesn't belong to you?" she asked me seriously. "Love itself is not sinful." I answer earnestly. "Even if there is a sin, it is a 'sin' given by those who love and are loved." "I want to atone." Xiao Ai's voice trembled slightly, and I felt that heavy emotions were pressing against her young chest.