Chapter 15 3. "I keep convincing myself to love her a little more, maybe, that's all."

Since Paul was on a business trip, our second meeting was arranged on Saturday two weeks later. Unexpectedly, a strange man came with Paul. "This is my best friend in junior high." "Hello, my name is Ni." The tall, handsome man held out a hand to me very gracefully. Paul and I are high school classmates, and this is the first time I have the honor to meet this legendary rival who has caused him emotional troubles for many years. "Have you rebuilt the old one?" I asked straight to the point. "There is no contradiction at all, but accidentally falling in love with the same girl is a very old-fashioned plot. In fact, most of the people who care about this kind of thing are you women. We men can let go of everything."

The two men looked at each other with a generous expression and smiled, as if they had no grievances. "I meant to ask my wife to come with me." "Oh, she wouldn't want to do something like that." Mr. Ni responded casually very naturally. "Does Mr. Ni want to experience TAROT today?" I asked him with a smile. "I'm here with him. We've been discussing some business recently, so we meet often." Mr. Ni feels very positive and powerful, and he is not at all the love master who deceives girls as I imagined.During the chat, I soon learned that Mr. Ni has been with the partner he re-selected back then. He has been in love for ten years and married for five years. Now he has a successful career and is the father of two children.

"It's the same ten years. Your ten years are very different from mine." Paul said to him with emotion, his tone full of helplessness. "There is actually no comparison between people, it's all about fate. I really liked her back then." I glanced at Paul, wanting to make sure that Mr. Ni's "she" was referring to his wife, but Paul smiled at me as a tacit consent. "You seem to know her well, too." "Oh, that's not the case. I haven't been with her for a long time. The college entrance examination is very stressful. How old were we then?"

Mr. Ni smiled at Paul, and the corners of Paul's mouth twitched, looking a bit reluctant. "What is our topic today?" My gaze returned to Paul. "I still want to get to know my wife better through TAROT. In fact, I want her to experience it herself. However, she is very repulsed by things like psychological tests. Is this a form of self-defense?" "You used a very technical term." "Now everyone knows the importance of mental health. When I have time, I also read some psychological books to recharge my batteries." "I didn't expect you to read this kind of book."

Mr. Ni deliberately joked. "No way, I have to find a way to find some self-balance." "Let's go back to the power card from last time." I took out the TAROT I had prepared earlier. "However, I want to do a small test first, and I need Mr. Ni to draw the cards." "Okay, I heard from Paul about the magic of TAROT, and I really want to try it." Same as last time, I asked Mr. Ni to get rid of distracting thoughts as much as possible, recall some details of the relationship with Mrs. Paul, try not to add my own subjective consciousness, just think about her and those past events, let the picture come naturally to my mind flashed, and then drew a card.

In the end, the cards that Mr. Ni drew were exactly the same as Paul’s—— Reversed power. "How could this be?" Paul felt incredible. "Don't let the facts you see right now, the principle is actually very simple. For the people you have been with, you will leave some impressions no matter what, especially for Mr. Ni, after many years, it will remain in his mind The impressions of your wife are some very primitive fragments, and TAROT just lifted them out of Mr. Ni's subconscious and re-presented them to us. "The information in the subconscious mind is like an old document in the computer of the human body. You think it has been deleted long ago, but in fact it has always been there. Just double-click twice, and the document will automatically open."

"According to you, TAROT is a mouse?" What Mr. Ni said made Paul and I laugh out loud at the same time. "It's more accurate to say that it is a mirror. No one can explain why TAROT is so closely connected with the human subconscious mind, but it can indeed restore your subconscious mind faithfully, and the restored ones are usually the most concentrated. The essence, in other words, is to help you directly refine it." "Interesting, really interesting." Mr. Ni seemed very excited. And Paul couldn't wait to hear an explanation of the power cards. "The upright strength card represents a person who has the courage to face life and demonstrates the need for self-confidence to achieve goals. It describes a outlook on life with full belief and value, not just for yourself, There is also trust in others and faith in destiny itself. A positive strength card means that all hard work will pay off, and it symbolizes strong loyalty and commitment."

"However, my wife's card is reversed." "The reversed power card represents courage and retreat, replaced by fear and doubt. This will lead to a person's extreme desire to control the surrounding environment, and even everyone around him. Because she has completely lost her sense of security. She is afraid of losing control of her life. But the problem is, the more we want to control, the easier it is for us to lose control, because the reversed power loses a pure motive.” "You mean, she doesn't love pure enough..." "When you say that, it seems that she is very scheming. I don't think she is such a person."

Mr. Ni interrupted Paul's words with a serious and sincere tone. "It's not so much that she is not pure enough, it is better to say that she is not powerful enough. "What's interesting is that when I met your wife for the first time, almost without exception, everyone felt that she is a very capable, resilient and strong woman, otherwise she would not have such achievements in the workplace. The problem is, What TAROT reveals is an inner truth that even she herself does not know. "The reversed power card tells me that her real inner world is completely opposite to the outer strength she shows. Her heart is actually very fragile, completely insecure, and full of fear and doubt about life."

Mr. Ni's gaze was focused, especially when I said that her heart was actually very fragile, a trace of sadness flashed across his eyes. "To be honest, I am very worried about her. A woman who keeps her life immersed in a state of precarity, worrying about gains and losses, and who may lose everything at any time. Even the ability to love herself is very weak, so how can she have the strength to love others? Woolen cloth?" After saying this, the three of us fell silent at the same time. "I kept convincing myself that maybe, just a little more love for her would be enough."

It took a long time for Paul to speak his mind slowly. I know that this is not an easy task for him. The sadness in the air became more and more intense, and I couldn't help turning my gaze to Mr. Ni. The eyes of Mr. Ni staring at Paul silently hide a kind of helplessness that is extremely distant and empathetic. "Actually, it's not very useful, is it?" Mr. Ni finally couldn't help but speak, he kept looking at Paul, and was convinced that only he could understand this sentence. The two men pondered for a moment in perfect harmony, and seemed to decide to open their hearts to me at the same time. This time, let Mr. Ni speak first. "In my impression, she is a pretty good girl. Recalling the time with her, I really can't tell what is particularly bad. But, I don't know why, after a long time, you will fall into a kind of nameless oppression In my heart, I feel that the future is very slim, indescribably powerless and slim.” "Death card." I can't help but blurt out. "This is exactly what the death card is facing, the complete exhaustion and end of a certain stage." "It should be love." Paul tried to further clarify what his card was referring to. "If it's just love, like the relationship between Mr. Ni and your wife back then, the only thing that ends is love. After all, they are not married. Frankly speaking, Paul's death card implies the end of a stage of life. Your wife's This state has seriously affected your life, because you are life partners, in a sense, your life is closely linked, interacting and influencing each other." "I've been thinking about the 'karma circle' you drew for me last time. Is it because her personal karma circle has affected me?" "Karma is a cycle of cause and effect. Love is the cause. You love her, so you compromise unprincipled, and gradually lose your power in love. As for whether it is her karma, it is very difficult. It’s hard to say, she has to experience it herself to judge.” "What do you mean by karma?" The more Mr. Ni listened, the more confused he became.I had to explain the meaning of karma again. After I finished explaining, Paul and I noticed an unusual change in the expression on Mr. Ni's face. "I don't think she can change, otherwise I wouldn't fall in love with someone else. In fact, I once had the same thought as Paul. I think love can change a person. If you can't change her, it must be your love." Not enough." "That's not true." I shook my head immediately. "Love is giving and giving to each other. It is an equal relationship. You are all people with a healthy ability to love. First of all, you are confident and know that you can love and will love. You believe in the power of love and the meaning of happiness. Beautiful, and I firmly believe that as long as I give sincerely, there will be rewards, so you are both upright power cards. However, when the upright power card meets a reverse power card, this relationship is unequal from the beginning. " "Because she is different from the two of us. She doesn't believe in love, and she doesn't believe that she can get love." Paul finally understood what I meant. "That's right, she has never been confident. This is the most fundamental problem." "Is it because she thinks she's not pretty enough?" "It may be one of the reasons, but there must be other factors that made her form such a deep-rooted negative thinking. The so-called deep-rooted is rooted in her subconscious and establishes a stable cycle of behavior patterns. The result, usually They are all predictable but unchangeable. In this way, it is indeed a kind of karma of her own, and it has not been changed so far." "I don't think she's just generally unconfident." Mr. Ni interrupted me. "She doesn't believe that a man can truly love her, give her everything, and create happiness for her. This is the main reason why I gave up this relationship. Since no matter what I do, she will not trust me. She feels that once If I succeed, I will betray her, so what's the point of being together?" Paul suddenly raised his head to look at me, as if he had sensed a similar feeling from Mr. Ni's words. "Last time you said that maybe I misunderstood her. She never thought that I would not succeed, but was afraid from the bottom of my heart that I would succeed. Could it be because she thought that once I had a successful career, she would definitely move on? ?" "Do you know?" Perhaps out of a woman's instinct, I directly raised this question without hesitation. Paul fell silent suddenly. Mr. Ni was very surprised. He observed Paul's face silently, and a feeling of extreme uneasiness and clear foreboding between men climbed awkwardly on his brows. It dawned on me that Paul was hiding one of the most important things from me. Maybe this incident is the most fundamental reason why he will come back to me a year and a half later. "Just take one." I pretended to be relaxed and smiled at Paul. At that moment, my heart was beating very fast, and some expected things had happened. If my analysis is enough to verify that this deep-rooted lack of self-confidence and desire for control is born with Paul’s wife If the emotional karma comes from her, and she has no ability to change it, then her love and marriage will probably be imprisoned in the karmic circle of fate forever. Paul washes and smokes casually. Sure enough, they are reverse lovers. A sense of sadness welled up in my heart—— Ten years of love, ten years of risk avoidance and control, in exchange for another irreversible "betrayal of love".