Chapter 3 3. "The source of desire is love that you have never experienced before."

For about half a month, Serena didn't look for me again. It must be that the devil's card has brought her a strong impact, which has not yet been digested. When the devil card appeared, I gradually preset a sense of mission for this fate. That is a woman who has been manipulated by material desires for a long time. My appearance may bring her a chance to change. Later, I realized that it was purely the self-righteous sense of responsibility of a fledgling TAROT psychoanalyst. When a person decides to choose the side controlled by fate, any artificial push is limited, and fate has its irresistible power. When you choose "weakness" in front of fate, fate will not hesitate. Hesitantly assigning you a series of homework and various forms of exams, but people on this side always look forward to the favor of fate, thinking that as long as I believe in fate piously, fate will not treat me badly.

TAROT told me over and over again that the opposite was true. However, it is almost an impossible task for a person who believes in fate to believe in the injustice and frustration of fate precisely because he believes too much. After another week, I began to prepare to revise the outline of the novel. One sunny afternoon, Serena suddenly called me and asked me to meet at a shopping plaza in the city center. When we met her, she was "killed" again, and we had to choose a couch seat against the wall, because there was nowhere in the cafe to accommodate the shopping bags she had bought so hard.

Serena sipped her drink without saying a word, looking distressed. "Doesn't shopping make you happy?" I broke the silence with a smile. She frowned ruefully. "It's all your fault." I know this is her joke, otherwise she wouldn't have worked up the courage to come to me. "What happened?" I asked her. "I can't say it, it feels weird, and I can't forget that demon card." "I thought you regretted looking for me." "That's not true." she has.But right now, there is no need to expose this white lie.

She was silent for a while, put down the juice, raised her head, and looked at me seriously. "What the hell is fate?" I was pleasantly surprised that she really put her heart into digesting the meaning of that card. "Have you started to fear it?" "You mean demons?" "No, I mean fate. The fate you're bearing right now. You have a hunch there's something wrong with it." "Yes, I suddenly realized that I am not a really lucky person, but looking at my current life, I don't know what I am missing, but I clearly feel that I am being manipulated by something, and, I always thought that was good, but it wasn't like that."

She was a little out of words. The door of fate's truth is only a crack open, and she is not ready yet. "What do you think fate is?" "An irresistible force." Very reasonable answer. "Irresistible because it is a fact, but also a kind of existence?" "What's the difference?" "Facts are understood from the perspective of results, which often means that you cannot change them, but existence is understood from the perspective of phenomena. Recognizing an existence will not curb your desire to change it." "You mean, I actually have the ability to change myself?"

"Everyone has this kind of ability, which is innate, but some people would rather be manipulated by fate than change it, this kind of people, I like to call them swan people, swan people Life is much easier and more comfortable than those Phoenix people who try their best to change their destiny by their own strength, of course, such ease and comfort also need to pay a considerable price." "For example, I have to spend money to achieve a certain level of satisfaction." "That trick doesn't work anymore because TAROT makes you see something new." Serena nodded sincerely, she indeed experienced the power brought by that new touch.

"Tell me about your understanding of fate." At this moment, there is no TAROT in front of us as a medium, but Serena is quite focused. "Fate is for learning, not for relying on." "Very well, then what is my fate topic?" The devil card didn't make her back down, which made me see the toughness hidden in her bones. "Control your desires and change your life." "I have known this for a long time, and I have tried, but I just can't do it." "That's because you don't know what the source of this desire is, or you don't want to know."

"Why? I have no reason not to want to know." "Fear of facing the other side of fate, that's the reason." "What is the other side of fate?" "reality. "An absolute true self, an awakening in the depths of the soul, and an arduous journey to find your own wheel of destiny." Serena was ignorant, but her heart was clearly shocked. "It seems that I am really possessed by the devil. Thinking and doing are two different things. I am very worried. I will never be able to get rid of this bondage." Presumably, the devil card appeared in her mind again. I think it's time to explain it carefully, otherwise it will really become a shadow that can't be erased from her heart.

I took out the demon card again and put it in front of her. "Look carefully, where is the key to the devil's lock?" Serena picked up the TAROT card, calmed down and looked at it carefully, her eyes lit up suddenly. "The key is not in the hands of the devil, there is no key on the screen, and there is no lock hole in the shackles." "Although the woman on the card was handcuffed by the devil, the devil did not prevent her from escaping. In fact, she can take off the shackles and leave at any time." "what do you mean?……" "Whether you can get rid of it depends entirely on whether you want to."

"I do." She answered me sincerely. "No, you don't want to." I also sincerely rejected her, which was an extremely serious challenge for her. "You can't say that, I'm looking for you just to change myself, isn't that clear enough?" She was really emotional. "You have been willing to fall into the grasp of material desires for nearly forty years. You are used to this kind of life. I believe that your words are indeed from the bottom of your heart. However, the self you don't know will still appear when you try to change. keep frustrating you."

"Why is this happening?" "Choose to be controlled by fate, that is, to choose an established life, the longer it takes, the more deeply rooted it becomes, because it has become a kind of instinct for your survival, and it is already difficult to change a habit that has been cultivated for a long time, let alone Is it subverting a long-dependent law of life?" Serena's face suddenly showed the despairing expression of the swan man full of sadness. "At least, I can see what the source of all this is." That is precisely the most favorable start for changing one's destiny. Facing an unknown truth that has been hidden for a long time requires great perseverance and courage. I let her calm down for a while before drawing cards. This time, she washed for a long time, and I could feel the moment when the sluggish and strange energy quietly activated in her heart, she surfaced bravely and anxiously, and might sink at any time. The Reversed Queen of Grails. A woman with no way to forgive or forget her past. Her life is full of negativity and melancholy, because she is determined to completely withdraw from her real emotional life, and try to completely empty herself and those who love her. Willing to change or leave. "The source of desire is love that you have never experienced before." When I said these words, a trace of compassion and sorrow flashed through my heart. Serena cried out without warning. The cafe was extremely quiet, and the heart-wrenching tragic atmosphere emanating from the Reversed Holy Grail Queen enveloped everything around in an instant.