Chapter 5 4. Women’s nerves are more sensitive than men’s

In the history of world art, there are not many famous paintings that embody a certain sense of beauty through the relationship between women and books.Even the greatest masters, when they focus on women, are often first attracted by the beauty of their bodies.Not only painters but also sculptors. Both Rodin and Picasso said many involuntary and intoxicating words about the beauty of female bodies, but neither left us sculptures or paintings that unite women and books. And I have always felt that if a woman reading a book quietly is beautiful in herself, there is no doubt that she will be even more beautiful like that.If she is unbeautiful in herself, there is no doubt that it will add beauty to her.

I have always felt that there are four types of female images that are moving-girls resting their chins in meditation, young women reading books, mature women nurturing, and old women weaving. As someone who likes to appreciate paintings, I have somehow formed the impression that almost every painting or sculpture of a female nude I have seen has a rigid facial expression.Even if she is beautiful, even if she is charming, even if she is charming, she always seems to lack the breath of a living person. This is because, painters, sculptors, including masters, once they focus on the female body, the soul is often easily conquered.Despite their skill and genius, they are still afraid that they will not be able to reproduce the beauty of that line and the beauty of skin vividly.As for the contents of their hearts at that moment, they are often underestimated and ignored.Therefore, what we appreciate and praise is often only the beauty of women's bodies, the pure beauty like flowers.

In fact, the beauty of women is more beautiful than the beauty of flowers. Flowers don't have what we call "soul", so flowers don't have what we call "inner beauty".Women not only have souls, but the sensitivity and richness of their souls are far more detailed and layered than men's souls. Girls resting their chins in meditation, young women reading books, mature women nurturing, old women knitting—at these moments or similar moments, the windows of women’s souls are usually opened without warning.Even if it is still closed, it is often very transparent.It seems that they wiped it several times by themselves, peeping into their hearts to attract others' eyes.

A woman in a painting makes you guess her state of mind at that moment, but of course she seems to come to life in one breath.You will feel that what will come alive is not only the lifelike body, but also a soul. Of course, the faces of naked women who have become works of art are not all dull.Some also have lively expressions, and it is not difficult for people to look directly into their hearts from their expressions.But these paintings or sculptures often have plots, and most of them are based on myths and legends and religious legends of ancient Greece, ancient Rome and the Middle Ages.

In fact, what I want to say is that I have seen a young girl resting her chin in a painting; I have seen a mature woman feeding; I have also seen an old woman knitting. However, I have only seen two paintings of young women reading books. One painting shows a duchess quietly reading a "Bible" in a luxurious room, if the "Bible" is also a kind of book. The other is a painting by a Russian painter of a young woman sitting on an old chair in front of a small window, concentrating on reading a book almost as thick as the "Bible".One of her slender fingers was about to stroke a page.

Women, especially young women, are included in paintings, photographs, or sculptures together with books. In my opinion, the charm of their art seems to have some otherworldly and holy meaning. After smashing the "Gang of Four", young and middle-aged Chinese painters, photographers, and sculptors at that time all expressed the relationship between young Chinese women and books in their own different artistic fields. In the same country, in just a few years, the theme of women and books has been represented by different types of art. This situation is unprecedented in the history of world art, and it is also unprecedented in the history of Chinese art.

In those paintings, photography, and sculptures, the book is not a foil for leisure time, nor is it a foil for women's demure state. It is completely different from the weaving in the hands of old women.It is the carrier of the long-cherished wish of all Chinese people, and also the carrier of the common long-cherished wish of many Chinese women back then.Those paintings, photographs, and sculptures may not be regarded as masterpieces today, and they may not have the immortality of art at all, but how many Chinese people who are thirsty for knowledge have been moved and excited! I remember such a picture, a girl with a delicate face, wearing a white dress, holding a magazine in her hand and looking at it with ecstasy.Behind her is a street newsstand.

That volume appears to be Knowledge. The title of that painting seems to be "Knowledge is Power". Once it came out, it was reprinted by many newspapers.If we can count it, we will be more convinced - it may be the painting with the highest reprint volume that year, at least one of them. Back then, many Chinese men and women in their thirties burst into tears when they saw this painting.Especially those men and women who have been wasted by the times and have no chance to enter the university as formal college students have mixed feelings when facing "Knowledge is Power".

Many old mothers in the 1950s had passed away by the early 1980s, except for a few very old mothers. Many middle-aged mothers in the 1950s, in the early 1980s, except for a few who died early, all became old mothers inadvertently. Many of their eldest sons and daughters would have been parents if they hadn't had a page of "Going to the Mountains and Going to the Countryside".But in the early 1980s, most of them had just returned to the city and still had no fixed place to live. Many young mothers in the 1950s changed from "sister-in-law" to "aunt" and "aunt" in the early 1980s.Some of them have sons and daughters who are also educated youths, but the time of "going to the mountains and going to the countryside" is shorter, and the age when they return to the city is also younger, so they can be called "post-educated youths".

The generation born in the early 1960s was high school students in the late 1970s and early 1980s. "Old educated youth", "post-educated youth", the high school students of those days, all urban men and women from the age of seventeen or eighteen to their thirties, who were thirsty for knowledge, all participated in the same kind of competition-enrollment. In college classrooms, among female college students, when the youngest female college student, aged 18 or 19, sits with her female classmate, aged 28 or 9, who may already be a wife, the times respect The rupture that once occurred in cultural knowledge has emerged.

Back then, women's strong impulse to demand and yearn for their own knowledge was far more attractive than today's fashion, weight loss, beauty, and overseas travel. On the one hand, it was because there were no such things back then, and it can even be said that it was mainly due to this reason; on the other hand, it must be admitted that Chinese women have begun to awaken their valuable consciousness of trying to improve themselves through knowledge.And this is actually the most difficult choice for women all over the world.Because, studying hard to get into university and graduating with excellent grades requires much more perseverance than working hard to earn a lot of money to straighten one's face through plastic surgery.And it is precisely those older college students who have been delayed for ten years, especially the women, whose perseverance in studying hard is particularly admirable.Four or five years later, a newspaper conducted a survey, and many of their teachers were deeply satisfied and even admired by their graduation results. Unable to enter the university as formal college students, they became the most self-conscious "girls" in night universities, TV universities, and workers' universities without any discouragement. From the resumption of the college entrance examination to the first two or three years in the 1980s, the deepest impression left on me by contemporary Chinese women, mainly referring to young and middle-aged women, can be summed up in seven words—study, study, and study again. In the city, you can see them reading almost everywhere.Some were reading the latest novel in the press, which was not particularly applauded.Because the main reader group that supports the continuation of literature to this day has almost always been women.If one day even women stop reading novels, many publishing houses around the world will go bankrupt.For example, if one day even men stop watching football games and boxing matches, then football and boxing should come to an end.But back then, you would inadvertently find them holding other pure knowledge books and reading them intently, such as physics, chemistry, advanced mathematics, history, history of literature, and history of philosophy.Or at a bus stop, or on a crowded bus, or in the crowd at a store.Their precious time is like gold, which is heart-pounding.Most of them are women who go to night colleges, TV colleges or workers colleges.If you find them at a bus stop or on a bus, it's usually after get off work.They have a piece of bread and a can of water in their small bags, and they often go straight to class.If you find them in a shopping line at a store, it's usually a Sunday, and they're usually stopping by on their way home from "school". I saw such a situation once in the past——it was drizzling that day, and at the starting point of bus No. 22 in Qianmen, there was a woman in her 30s who was reading a geometry book without an umbrella.She was afraid that the rain would get the book wet, so she held the book under the umbrella of the person in front of her, letting herself be drenched by the drizzle without seeming to notice it.Her clothes were obviously almost soaked, and there were very fine raindrops on her hair.I lined up behind her without an umbrella.But I'm wearing a trench coat and don't mind the rain.Behind me is an old man holding an umbrella.He tried his best to lift the umbrella over my head and prop it forward.Then, not only was he drenched, but the raindrops from the umbrella also fell on my shoulders.I turned around and was about to speak out to protest, when I instantly understood that he was trying to cover the woman from the rain with his own umbrella.I immediately dodged to get him in front of me.In that way, he himself will not be drenched by the rain, and he can also cover the woman under the umbrella.When he said thank you to me, I was touched by his kindness in my heart. I didn't know what to say, so I just smiled.I very much hope that the woman turns around and finds an old man holding an umbrella behind her to protect her from the rain.But she didn't.The old man had been silently holding the umbrella towards her, as if he was an old servant of hers, and what he did was purely obligatory.Until a bus came, we all got on the bus.The woman was standing on the car, still holding the railing in one hand and the book in the other, reading intently.In the car, many people looked at her from time to time.There is respect in people's eyes, which is a respect for women's self-improvement spirit. When the bus arrived at the normal university stop, the flight attendant reminded her: "That lesbian, don't work hard, it's time to get off!" Although she never spoke, even the flight attendant guessed that she should get off at that stop. Only then did she remember that she hadn't bought a ticket yet, so she hurriedly put the book under her arm, planning to take money out of her small satchel. And the flight attendant said: "Forget it, forget it, get down quickly! Don't delay your class, and don't delay the driver's driving..." Amidst the good-natured laughter of many people in the car, she got out of the car in a hurry, and her figure poured into the crowd at the gate of Normal University. At that time, between 6:30 and 7:00 p.m., the crowds rushing in at the gates of some universities that set up "Yedu" were like workers on night shifts.They can leave the university and go home after half past nine.Of course, I have to go to work as usual the next day, so "Ye Da" can be called "Ye Da".Many cities back then, including big cities like Beijing, Shanghai, and Tianjin, became absolutely silent after half past nine.At this time, if there are many figures on bicycles passing by on the road, they must be some "Yeda" students who are no longer young. If you think that the thirst for knowledge of Chinese women back then was purely a utilitarian pursuit of knowledge, it is not a view of seeking truth from facts. People's pursuit of knowledge can be roughly classified into two categories: one is due to interest, and the other is due to need. Chinese women back then almost all pursued knowledge out of necessity.More specifically, the pursuit of diplomas. A diploma can help them find their ideal career more smoothly. This is the same as it is now, and it will be the same in the future. But the ideal or not of that occupation, for them back then, was actually only determined by the nature, and there was no difference in wage income.At that time, China was still in an era when there was no difference in wages, and there were no foreign-funded enterprises or business groups frequently beckoning to them and releasing a strong attraction.Therefore, the driving force behind their pursuit of diplomas can almost be said to have nothing to do with money. Whether yesterday’s has nothing to do with money or today’s is closely related to money, it’s just the difference in the value of knowledge or academic qualifications under the characteristics of the times, and it’s just the different consciousness reflected in women in the two eras. There is no distinction between praise or derogation.In other words, in today’s distinctive business age in China, whether men or women, pursuing knowledge or academic qualifications in order to seek high-paying careers not only does not desecrate knowledge or academic qualifications per se, but also fully conforms to the consistent laws of the times.Only a very small number of people can reach the realm of simply pursuing knowledge against the laws of the commercial age.Not only have such people been very rare in the past, but there will be fewer and fewer, so they cannot be used as examples to criticize the natural and realistic attitude of the majority of people in conforming to the laws of the times... In addition to the above-mentioned women, the young female workers in the factory were also tutoring cultural knowledge.Some factories expressly require young female workers to take a junior high school cultural assessment, and only those who pass the assessment will be issued a formal "job" certificate.So finding a set of textbooks from the first to the third year of junior high school was not only difficult, but also lucky.A set of old junior high school textbooks was marked with high prices on the street stalls.There was such a situation in some families back then—the younger siblings who were in junior high school served as tutors for older siblings, and even the children became tutors for their parents. Young and middle-aged women in many cities at that time felt a sense of urgency in time.Whether it is a woman pursuing a degree or a female worker who is dealing with cultural tutoring, the word "examination" is often inseparable from the content of the meeting or the conversation on the phone. Some people take the test to be different from others. Some people take the test to be like others. Regardless of men or women, in fact, in the subconscious of everyone, there is the idea of ​​trying to be superior to others. The era of the year said: Well, let's educate you! In everyone's subconscious, there is a self-improvement that is not willing to be inferior to others. The era of the year said: Well, let's educate you! In previous eras in China, no matter whether it was the idea of ​​trying to be superior to others or the self-improvement of being unwilling to be inferior to others, almost all the ways to achieve their goals were blocked, leaving only two possible paths—one was political expression. road, and the other is the road of working ability.The latter path is technical experience for workers and diligence for students.During the "Cultural Revolution", even the latter path was denied. Workers who became advanced and typical workers based on technical experience were almost all dismissed as "black model workers"; College students". There is only one path left for a particular society to allow human expression—politics. The era of the "Cultural Revolution" said to people: Do you have the idea of ​​trying to be superior to others?Then you use political performance in exchange for it! The "Cultural Revolution" era said to people: Are you unwilling to be inferior to everyone?Then you use political performance to save yourself! This is the reason why many Chinese who had no political quality at all devoted themselves to the great vortex of political expression during the "Cultural Revolution" period.Understanding the "Cultural Revolution" from this human nature, in my opinion, is far more straightforward than understanding it from a purely political point of view. Finally, the political bubble of the "Cultural Revolution" burst, and many people who thought they had grasped something that marked themselves above others, in the end, just grasped the wetness of their palms.Knowledge and academic qualifications have become another symbol thrown to people by the times, and the only symbol that replaced politics back then. This sign even affected the view of marriageable women in choosing a mate. "Let me introduce you to a boyfriend, he is a college graduate!" If the other conditions of "he" are not very bad, nine out of ten marriageable women are happy to see him. Just as someone said to them today: "Introduce you to a boyfriend, he's a rich man!"—and many of their eyes would light up. University graduation became one of the highest criteria for choosing a spouse for married women in China at that time. They think that their conditions are superior, and even publicly stated that non-university graduates will not marry. Of course, many women who are waiting to be married in China today often include this criterion in their spouse selection requirements. But in those days, that was one of the highest standards. Today, it is almost the minimum, the lowest standard. Back then, this highest standard was often a prerequisite.Without this premise, women with certain principles such as iron will never see each other. Today, this standard is often little more than a "reference score".If the rest of the hard criteria are qualified, this one would rather be voluntarily abandoned than considered at all.The rest of the criteria are nothing more than appearance, health, family burden, temperament and so on.Except for the degree of education, it is almost the same as the standard in the 1950s. Today, the rest of the standards vary widely from person to person—what is different, what is different, what is different, and it is often determined by the man's financial resources.Financial resources are often seen as a prerequisite.When the premise is satisfied, the remaining items seem insignificant. The standards of the year, especially the premise of the year, only lasted until around 1985, and ended in the repeated "deconstruction" of the times. With the opening of the country, many rich or seemingly rich Hong Kong people, Taiwan compatriots, overseas Chinese, and foreigners flocked here in droves.So batches of young and beautiful Chinese girls went away arm in arm. At that time, the number of beautiful waitresses in big hotels and restaurants who became the wives of Chinese men in the territory would not exceed one or two out of ten. "And trouble and trouble.Later, I simply changed my original intention, and no longer only recruited beautiful ones, but only those who could see the past were hired. Young Chinese educated women, in front of those waitresses in hotels and restaurants, how superior and how arrogant they used to be!But after giving them a taste of the sweetness, the times seem to have begun to mock them maliciously again! Even the waitresses in hotels and restaurants are lucky, their dreams come true, and they transform themselves into noble wives and concubines. Those women who have college diplomas, are not only fluent in foreign languages, but also beautiful, how can they miss this opportunity? Last, not first? As a result, the knowledge and education of Chinese men back then, their sense of superiority was completely defeated by the dazzling light of money. Compared with women, they are overshadowed by the beauty of other beauties. Back then, the wages of college graduates who had just started working were only 50 yuan, and the wages of master graduates were only 70 yuan, which was already 10 to 20 yuan higher than the monthly wages of their peers without academic qualifications.But compared to men abroad, their wages are only more than a dozen dollars (converted according to the exchange rate of the year)! As a result, the era bubble created by academic qualifications quickly burst. From the last few years of the 1980s to the first few years of the 1990s, the rate of foreign-related marriages among young Chinese women has skyrocketed.Although scandals, farces, and tragedies were reported in the newspapers from time to time, there was an endless stream of desperate, desperate, and desperate people. Is there anything wrong with this phenomenon?Many Chinese thought so back then. Especially some married men who have just exchanged hard work for their academic qualifications and their self-esteem in front of women have just improved, feel extremely disappointed in their hearts. Only a few years ago, there were women who publicly stated that non-college students would not marry. Only a few years later, some young and beautiful women often said: "What's so great about a poor college graduate? What's so great about a master's degree? Let them rest for a while, and I will think about them when I really can't find anything I like!" Just a few years ago, all kinds of young male swindlers from all over the world repeatedly pretended to be college graduates to cheat the hearts of young women. Unexpectedly, only a few years ago, they began to pretend to be the children of wealthy businessmen abroad. Some women who have advanced education but are not very good-looking by nature are of course even more indignant in their hearts at the evil of this phenomenon of the times.Not only is it bad, but in their minds, it is simply ugly!Absolutely! Back then, I was also one of the Chinese men who were fiercely critical of this phenomenon of the times. But now that I think about it carefully, this kind of phenomenon of the times is really an extremely normal phenomenon from ancient times to the present. Regardless of men and women, they always hope to achieve a certain purpose through the easiest way. No matter men or women, changing one's own destiny and living a much better life than others has always been a longing. Especially women, when the door of a commercial era is open, their vanity pursuit of material life has been stronger than that of men since ancient times.Exceptional women exist, but they are by no means representative of the general population. There is only one and the oldest and most traditional way for women to live a much better life than others, and that is to marry a man who can give them that life. Although this method is old, it is definitely not outdated, and it is still followed by many women in many countries around the world. To achieve a certain purpose in the easiest way is not only a characteristic of human nature, but also an instinctive characteristic of many beasts, birds and even insects. The above methods are in line with this feature of human nature, especially that of women. From thousands of years of Chinese culture, it is not difficult to see four interesting attitudes towards this characteristic of Chinese women. The first is the attitude of instigation, which is the attitude of the dignitaries and wealthy gentry of the past dynasties.Their lives are often accompanied by sensuality.The emperor himself and his royal family had the highest status among them, and their lives were often the most extravagant.They use their culture to encourage women to "beside" the rich and "beside" the power with peace of mind, because they take women as a matter of course.How unhappy would beautiful women be if they accepted the influence of some other culture, regarded glory and wealth as dung, and thought it a misfortune to be chosen into the palace to accompany an old man who was often enough to be his father or even his grandfather. happy? The most typical one is the Qing Dynasty drama called "You Long Xi Feng".This play is still often performed on the stage, and it is still often broadcast on TV.The content is nothing more than that the Emperor Zhengde, who is in a little clothes to relax, occasionally lives in a small shop, and sees the cute and cute girls in the shop, so he "plays" it.The word "play" in "You Long Xi Feng" is very intriguing. It is the universal human nature of men to love and please women, and to "play" them every time.Conversely, women often do the same with men.For example, in the novel, the Seven Fairies "played" Dong Yong. Boys "playing" with girls, if the boy is not evil, his behavior is nothing more than a playboy.If the young girl looks at the young boy with a sudden feeling of affection and tacit understanding, the "drama" can be regarded as mutual consent. This is not only the normal state of life, but sometimes it is also a wonderful state of life. Zhang Sheng's opera Yingying, why has it become a famous opera and not disgusting?Because Zhang Sheng is suave and talented, not only does he match Yingying in appearance, but also in the same age, so the theatergoers look forward to them being husband and wife. The emperor in "You Long Xi Feng" has a big beard and is old enough to be the father of the girl in the shop.His "playing phoenix" really can't bear to think about it.It's ugly when you think about it.Why can he "play the phoenix" unscrupulously?Not because of anything else, but because he is a "dragon".It seems that "dragon" has no concept of age, as if no matter how old a "dragon" is, it must be a beautiful boy in the eyes of women. What kind of psychology is the shop girl who was "played" by?At first, of course, I was disgusted, and then I was ashamed.As soon as he knew that the other party's real identity was a dragon, he was overwhelmed by flattery, and threw himself into his arms very willingly.So I took the initiative to be courteous all night, serving the pillow mat for fear of being incompetent, and feeling honored by offering my virgin body. In China's thousands of years of culture, there is a very solid line, which relies on "You Long Xi Feng" and the like to encourage women to be justified by the powerful and wealthy, and to be proud of their glory. Here is an example to the contrary.An emperor of a certain generation in Germany once took a break in sartorial clothes, passed through a village, and met a village girl who was not a pretty shop girl but an ordinary-looking village girl.When she knew that the man sitting in the gorgeous carriage was the emperor, she couldn't help being surprised at the sickness and ugliness of the emperor, and the whole village shouted "much worse than my husband!" - her husband was in Caoku at that time Here is the horse chaff of the imperial chariot.The emperor had no servants around at the time, so he had to get out of the imperial chariot himself, and begged the village women to stop shouting.If a certain emperor of Germany wants to "trick" her, obviously, she will not be very willing to throw himself into his arms. In all German culture, there is no shortage of secret histories of palaces, but as far as I know, there seems to be no such thing as "You Long Xi Feng".Western emperors, since the 16th and 17th centuries, have basically no legal Sangongs, Six Courts, Seventy-two Concubines and the like.Therefore, "Yanglong" is lustful and can only cheat. The very rough lineage in Chinese culture for thousands of years has had a profound impact on the sexual dignity of Chinese women to this day. Therefore, the phenomenon of the powerful "playing the phoenix" and the rich "playing the phoenix" can be found everywhere.Every time I see certain women who are once tightly clinging to the prison, youthful and proud, but it is seldom heard how reluctant they are. The second is a critical attitude. "Yan's Family Instructions" in the Northern Qi Dynasty said: "Marriage should not be greedy for powerful families." There are words in the "Wen Zhongzi" of the Sui Dynasty: "Marriage is about wealth, the way of the barbarians", "Marrying a daughter is not expected to be high, and a woman's wish is suitable" ("Gao" refers to family status, and "Yi" means appropriate), "Etiquette, shame, makeup, virtue but not beauty" and so on, and so on. This is the moralization of men to women, or the admonition of men to other men who have daughters. This line of culture is also very rough.In its critical vision, once a woman is denounced as dislike the poor and love the rich, she seems to be a hundred times more hateful than a man who is rich and unkind. This line of culture is probably inherited and developed by those men who have no power and power and do not expect to be prosperous and rich.To this day, the sharp edge of criticism is still exposed from time to time, and it is still largely the cultural voice of the same type of men.Their cultural psychology is self-explanatory, and it contains such a meaning-"a fair lady", the king loves money, the powerful loves money, the rich loves money, and "gentleman" also loves money!Ladies and ladies, with bright eyes.Since you are a lady, your beautiful eyes should not only look at the king, the powerful, and the rich, but you should also favor gentlemen from time to time! This line of culture, inevitably, will always reveal the jealousy of poor "gentlemen" to a greater or lesser extent.And the Chinese beauties from ancient times to the present, when the time comes, they will almost always betray this culture without hesitation, and throw themselves into the arms of the king, the powerful, and the rich. The jealous complaints and sarcasms of the "gentlemen" are nothing but slander to them, and they don't care much. The third is to talk about the attitude of masturbation. A typical cultural masterpiece is written by Shen Fu, a literati of the Qing Dynasty about a century and a half ago.It is a bit inaccurate to say that he is a literati, because he does not make a living out of literature.In addition to writing poems, I have probably only written such a book of about 70,000 words.It is not a fictional novel or the like, but a book that describes the daily life of a couple in six chapters. It is autobiographical, confessional, and documentary, or it can be classified as life note literature.The style of writing is calm and elegant, calm and euphemistic, with the style of flowing clouds and flowing water, moonlight and bamboo beauty.I have to admit that the author's literary accomplishment is very high, and he is called a literati, which is justified. Although this book has been included in the literature history, the author never gained a reputation because of this book, became famous for a while, and made a lot of profits.This book has never been widely circulated in the world. It should be said that it was Lin Yutang who brought this book back to life, which impressed future generations of literati.Lin translated it into English and introduced it to Western readers.Therefore, the reputation of this book is a bit like "blossom inside the wall and red outside the wall", and "export to domestic sales". Back then, a film company in Shanghai made it into a movie, and then put it on the stage, making thousands of audiences shed tears of sympathy. Professor Yu Pingbo also compiled the Chronicle of Shen Sanbai in that year. With a book of more than 70,000 characters, there is probably no one other than Shen Fu in the history of Chinese literature to obtain the chronicle combed by celebrities. The six chapters in this book are: Joy in Boudoir, Joy in Leisure, Sorrow in Ups and Downs, Joy of Wandering, Calendar in Zhongshan, and Health Preservation. Lin Yutang liked this book and praised it highly because of a woman named "Yun" recorded in the book.She is Shen Fu's wife, ten months older than Shen Fu, so Shen Fu nicknamed her "sister" every time he whispered to her husband and wife. This Yun, in the words of Lin Yutang - "is the loveliest woman in Chinese literature".Because she did exist, Lin said she was "the most lovely woman in Chinese history". Why did Mrs. Lin give her such high praise? First, because although she is "not the most beautiful", she is a "beauty with charm".This is very in line with the consensus that men from all over the world, ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, like women—at least she should be called a beauty, and she must have a different charm.In modern terms, it may be called "temperament" or "mature charm".Men all over the world, ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, have traditionally had two "love knots" for women, or a few years older than Yiren, and regard her as a stunner who is "sister plus lover plus wife".Or his own age is slightly younger than her, and he regards her as an "entity" that is emotionally integrated and dependent on "sister plus lover plus wife".Jia Baoyu's dilemma between sister Lin and sister Bao is a sample of this kind of psychology in men. What is the charm of this beautiful woman like Yun? ——"Its shape has slashed shoulders and long neck, thin and unobtrusive, with curved eyebrows and beautiful eyes, and it looks like a god." Shaved shoulders are one of the standards of traditional Chinese beauty. Being skinny is a new slim concept for modern beauties in the world. And the long term is almost the requirement of the model. It shows that Yun is really a beauty.Well deserved. She also has a fly in the ointment - "Only the two teeth are slightly exposed, which seems not to be a good look. A lingering state, which makes people lose their meaning." Second, Yun, a beautiful woman, was undoubtedly an "intellectual woman" according to the era at that time. "Born Yinghui", "Xiannvhong".We all know that women's red is a technique to calm women's minds.She is also good at composing poems, and there is a sentence that "the figure is thin in autumn, and the chrysanthemum is fattened in frost".Can't help but remind people of Li Qingzhao.Then, let Li Qing reflect on his words and person, and look at the closeness of Yun's temperament. Third, Yun "lost his father at the age of four", and his family was poor, so Yun is frugal. "But seeing the room full of fresh clothes (on other women), Yun Du's body is plain and plain, and only her shoes are new. Seeing that her embroidery is exquisite, and asking for her own work, I realized that her wisdom is not only in pen and ink." Not only frugal , not only "Xiannvhong", but also the shoes are beautiful.Such advantages are in line with the feelings of Chinese literati.Because they are mostly poor, even if they are rich for a while, they will not get rich much.Women who are materially attracted to luxury, even if they secretly love her, they cannot afford to support them financially.Therefore, with self-knowledge, it is okay to steal incense and jade, but to marry a wife still feels that the latter is reliable. Fourth, once Chinese traditional literati are lucky enough to marry a woman like Yun who is "completely virtuous and virtuous", what aspects of happiness will be reflected? ——You can "talk with her about calligraphy, painting, literature, curd and marinated melon"; "carry Wenggu on your back, sneak to Taihu Lake, watch her watch the vast expanse of lake water, and marvel at the vastness of the world, or go to Wannian Bridge to enjoy the moon together; and, If she had been born in England, who would not want to accompany her to visit the London Museum and watch her play with the medieval manuscripts with ecstasy and tears?" Fifth, I think this point must be extremely important—it is this Yun who enables her husband to enjoy "the most gentle and delicate boudoir joy", that is, the so-called family happiness between men and women. "Since then, my ears have been rubbed together, and my love is indescribable." Such a couple, according to Lin, are "two ordinary elegant people".From their simple life, from their fondness for traveling in mountains and rivers, enjoying the beauty of nature such as mountains, forests, springs and stones, and from their tranquil and comfortable life of "seeking to enjoy the bliss of floating life and leisure for half a day", "Chinese philosophy of life" The best of them" is shown in their lives. And what is the "essence"? Lin attributed it to a "cynical" philosophy.He admits that this philosophy has a negative side.But he emphasized that "on the other hand, modern man needs this fresh air of cynicism, because it is beneficial to him".And he believes that "in the negative philosophical force in China, there are some things that are very similar to wombs or valleys", so he further believes that it is a "great negativity of wandering".On the contrary, the philosophy that drives people to "look forward", that is, the philosophy that constantly pursues some goals, is actually "more harmful than the cynical thinking in ancient and modern philosophy".Therefore, he looked at Tao Yuanming with a very solemn look. 我也喜欢陶渊明的诗。我也一向以肃然的目光看待陶渊明自甘清寂无为的人生态度（因为实难做到，也只有肃然地保持大的敬意）。我也由于林语堂和沈三白两位男人脉脉含情的笔触，而坦白我所爱的女性，正是一生中可望而不可求的“芸”们。 这位芸，又据我想来，淡泊虚名维护自身真性情，如林黛玉；而胸怀大度，通情达理，又如薛宝钗。钗黛二女子的优点，在她身上双璧合一了。 用林氏的话说，这样的品貌皆佳的女子，“谁不愿意娶她为妻”呢？ 她诸美德中最令中国传统文人型男人叹服的是，她见了一位美俏的歌伎，根本无须丈夫开口，便揣摩透了丈夫的心思，暗中替她的丈夫撮合娶为篷室——二房妇也。 这么伟大的女性，如此善解人意的妻子，即使在情爱观念开放得不能再开放的今天的西方，也简直“先锋”得无人可比啊！ 但是问题接着就来了——他们寻求恬淡自适的生活，靠什么为经济基础呢？ 靠夫家。 因为沈复的父亲在幕府“专役相迓”，是相当于现今“礼宾司长”的官吏。 因而他们非但不必自食其力，日常起居饮食且有下人服侍着。 而她的公公看不惯她的种种“自由行径”，便翻脸将儿子、媳妇一并逐出家门，她便“从此半生颠倒于穷困之中，没有闲情也没有钱可以享游山之乐”了。 于是引得其后的中国文人们对他们同情得不得了，也替他们愤慨得不得了。按现今的说法，分明的“欲加之罪，何患无辞”。他们是受到了极“不公平的对待”。 我也是有同情心的人。故我读至芸的死、三白的相思，心情也是为之凄然的。 那沈复后来再未续娶。 但有当官的朋友赠了他一妾。 他以嫖妓为常事。这“嫖”字，用于文人身上，似大不敬，那么便说“狎妓”吧。 并且他善狎。每与妓“或小酌于平台，或清谈于寮内，不令唱歌，不强多饮，温存体恤”。故“每上其艇，（妓们）呼余声不绝。余亦左顾右盼应接不暇，此虽挥霍万金所不能至者”。 “余四月在彼处，共费百余金，得尝荔枝鲜果，亦生平快事。后鸨儿欲索五百金，强余纳喜（妓名）。余患其扰，遂图归计。”而“喜儿因余不往，几寻短见”。于是大发“半年一觉扬州梦，赢得花船薄幸名”之文人佯叹…… 妻子死了，父子亲和了，于是他结束了穷困，又有钱游山玩水狎妓地恬淡自适乐而不疲了。 通过，我们比较清楚明白了，中国传统文人们理想的自在无为的生活应该是这样的——一位人生务实的父亲或祖父，先很不能免俗地替他挣下一份家产，可供他终生无忧无虑，丰衣足食；可资助他自在无为地游山玩水，享受大自然的拥抱，以及享受诸多他所喜欢的女性的姿色。 中国传统文人理想的妻子应该是芸那样的女性——首先她须是丽人。其次她须有至少几分艺术细胞。因为这是使她有风韵、有情调的前提。她还须使他享受到姊姊或妹妹加情人加俊友加妻子的温柔细腻的性爱。她还须爱他所爱，比如与他谈诗论画、陪他游山玩水并且爱他所爱的另外的女人，半点儿妒意也没有地替他搭桥引线。最后，倘他们穷困了（这一般几乎总是要穷困下去的，连大观园都这么败落下去了，何况文人们的家），她须倍加温柔、倍加细腻、倍加体贴地呵护他、关怀他，与他相依为命，绝不弃他而去。 具有了以上美点和美德的妻子，当然是世界上最可爱的妻子。但，在这一种中国传统文人型男人们关于女性的文化的熏陶——不，流毒的影响之下，中国女性倘温柔地一代代地接受着，实践着，完善着，以身作则着，除了是男人心目中的尤物，还可能是别种典型的女性么？ 芸固然是值得男人们终生爱恋的女性。固然是对人生颇具参考和禅悟价值的一本书，沈三白对妻子生前的爱和死后的思，固然也足以令其他形形色色的文人型男人们唏嘘落泪，但是我们如果转而一想，中国大批地滋生着沈三白式的文人的时期，差不多正是法国思想启蒙运动的同期，纵观整个欧洲，许多男性知识分子受此运动激励，对社会进步、对女性的自由解放做出种种杰出贡献，不禁地就会心生一问：中国的传统文人们，可曾想到对社会、对中国女性的自由与解放做点儿什么？ 答案是，他们头脑中几乎什么打算都不曾有过。 归根结底，芸那样的女性，几乎只适合生存在一个文明进步的时代。 而那个时代以前的中国传统文人们，又大抵总是攀结在封建王权的四周。而王权是仇视一个文明进步的时代的，是女性解放的最反动也最腐朽的堡垒。而中国传统文人们，最积极的也最令后代同类美化和吹嘘的，也不过就是“放浪的玩世哲学”、“伟大”的消极的遁世哲学、自适其乐的逃避现实的哲学。 沈复式的男人，是此种中国男人丛林中司空见惯的一株。他的“根”其实寄生于封建土壤中。那土壤一旦不供给他养分，他就只有落魄，只有穷困潦倒，当然也就谈不上维护他所爱的妻子的命运了。 而芸，却不过是恰巧被他的枝所挂住的一只美丽的风筝。她死了，他安慰自己和缅怀她的方式，却只不过是去狎他以为有些像她的妓。 第四种是特别理想主义的态度。代表文人理想的如。祝英台宁可一死，也绝不入马家的门。由于她视富贵如粪土的立场坚定不移，极受“梁山伯”们欣赏，于是幻想与她双双化蝶。代表市民理想的如《白蛇传》。富家子弟、豪门子弟中也是不乏翩翩美少年的，但貌如神女的白娘子死心塌地爱清贫的许仙，虽被镇于塔下而此情不渝不移，于是成为后世“许仙”们心目中最美的爱神。代表农民理想的如和《牛郎织女》。世上的美人不是与“牛郎”们、“董永”们无缘分么？“牛郎”们、“董永”们也不必伤心，更不必愤世嫉俗。王母娘娘和玉皇大帝的某个女儿，说不定哪一天就会动了凡心下界来做他们的妻子。 由于事实上这个世界极少有专门嫌富爱贫的美女，所以这第四种文化源远流长。现实中得不到的，理想中拥有。 与中国数千年的文化相反，西方文化鼓励女性通过最容易的方式，亦即通过嫁给富贵男人的方式，改变自己的卑贱命运，使自己过上富贵的生活。西方文化中这一种鼓励的热忱，有时类乎男孩儿鼓励胆小的女孩儿爬树或登房顶。并且在女孩儿那么做了以后予以表扬，你看，多么简单！只要你敢想，没有什么达不到的目的！半个多世纪以来，好莱坞精心炮制了一部又一部“灰姑娘”题材的影片。 萧伯纳曾说：“穷人家的女儿是他们的原始股。”他是出于对穷人们的深切同情而这么说的。 但是好莱坞那些善于炮制“灰姑娘”题材的影片的编剧们、导演们、制片们另有说法。 他们说，如果你是一个漂亮的姑娘，你竟享受不到荣华富贵，那么太遗憾了！那么是你自己的过错，完全怨不得别人，也别怪社会的不公平。 他们说，如果谁家有一个漂亮的女儿而居然穷着，那么这一户人家的父母的头脑一定太痴呆了！赶快“抛股”哇！ 他们不但承认穷人家的女儿是父母的原始股，而且进一步明确指出，穷人家的漂亮女儿是价值百万千万的原始股。对于这一种股资的白白浪费是令人心疼的！ 因而，在好莱坞的老片中，尤其一些黑白老片中，每每出现一位漂亮的小女子，她可绝不像“灰姑娘”那么逆来顺受，她不但风情万种而且颇有心计。她到某一富家去做女仆，不久便产生了这样一种自然而然的念头：我为什么不可以让男主人注意到我的存在并且爱上我、迷上我？我为什么不可以成为这一富家的女主人？于是影片结束时男主人坠入情网皆大欢喜。 好莱坞曾将许多此类内容的影片发行到世界各地，影片中那些漂亮的小女子们不但使世界各地的男人们爱得不行，也被世界各地漂亮然而命运卑贱的小女子们视为榜样。 好莱坞的匠心独具之处在于，它直指女性之人性的特点，顺应之而不是企图通过说教扭转之。它从来也没打算承担这样的道德义务。 美国文化对美国女性有影响么？ 答案是肯定的：当然有。 全世界的女性中，美国女性的追求意识——不触犯法律前提之下的追求意识，是最公开、最大胆、最不受束缚的。 那么，受美国文化影响的美国女性，是否都非常嫌贫爱富，非常的傍富豪没商量、攀权贵没商量呢？答案也是肯定的：否。这又为什么呢？道理简单，因为90％以上的美国人处于生活水平比较高而又彼此差不太多的情况之下。贫富悬殊在西方许多国家并不像在中国呈现得这么咄咄逼人。一个嫁龄女性即使漂亮，她的选择范围无非辐射向两个方面：或者辐射向极少数的富者权者，或者辐射向大多数的男人群体。而她们要求达到的生活，倘不过分奢侈，又几乎是大多数男人都能和她共同奋斗达到的。这使她何必整天去做“灰姑娘”的神话梦不醒？又何必非要去傍富攀权？于是，她决定嫁不嫁给一个男人，考虑的因素，反而比较能够超越于物质之上。 在贫富悬殊的剪刀差越来越大、作为社会现象愈演愈烈的时代，女性的心最容易被物质所诱惑。而物质对她们的诱惑力，远远强于文化束缚对她们的影响。她们拥抱住物质而反叛文化时，她们以为她们拥抱住了女人的幸福。 20世纪80年代后期，中国某些女人以她们比男人敏感的神经，触觉到了时代的兴奋的中枢区。它反射给她们的信号是，欲望时代的集贸商场即将大开张，你有什么可交易的？容貌即资本，青春即股票。它并且暗示她们，二者之和，远远大于一个女人头脑中所可能容纳的全部知识的价值，就像三角形的任意两边之和大于第三边一样。 那时，社会行业还没有发展到今天这么丰富多彩的程度。即使有才干的知识女性，倘要凭其才干和知识获得比普遍的女性多的收入，仍几乎是痴心妄想之事。 于是她们的目光自然而然地由国内转向国外。在国外，对才干和知识的尊重毫不含糊地体现为金钱的结算方式，并且是以美元兑换价值的。而那时在中国，通过金钱对才干和知识进行结算的方式，仍是一种扭捏的、暧昧的、遮遮掩掩甚至偷偷摸摸进行的方式，仿佛有悖于全体中国人对才干和知识的常规思想观念。谁若获得了数千元的奖金，肯定引起嫉妒；几万元的奖金，会成为轰动性的新闻。那时在中国，只有“走穴”的歌星例外。 有才干、有知识的女性尚活得这么憋屈，企图潇洒也潇洒不起来；那些没才干、没知识甚至一无所长，却有容貌资本、有一大把青春股票的女性，又怎会自甘资本闲置、股票贬值呢？而在中国，她们历来对于物质生活质量的向往是最强烈的。这是人类社会中一个关于女性的公开的秘密。 于是，以上两种截然不同的中国女性，那时都渴望着同一种男人出现在她们的生命里——能带她们离开中国大陆的男人。不管他是香港人还是台湾人，不管他是哪一国家的，不管他是年老的还是年轻的，不管要求她以妻的身份妾的身份情人的身份女儿的身份或秘书或雇员的身份，包括女佣的身份。总之什么身份都不计较，只要能带她出去，她便如愿以偿。 于是形形色色的境外男人成了“超度”她们的命中贵人。 今天，我们回顾20世纪80年代，完全可以得出这样的结论——似乎从中期开始，整个80年代对折为两页。而你不能说它是两页，因为它并未从中线那儿被裁剪开；你也不能说它是一页，因为两个半页上所记载的内容竟是那么的不同。 常规的历史进程中，一般不会产生这样的时代现象。 此时代现象说明，历史的进程一旦加快，几乎每五年便有大的区别。而普遍的人们，也仿佛每差五岁便如隔代了。所谓道即变，人亦即变。道变速，人亦变速。 20世纪80年代的前期，某些中国女性求知若渴的自强不息使中国男人们为之肃然。 20世纪80年代的后期，某些中国女性交易自身的迫不及待使中国男人们为之愕然。 尽管，这两类中国女性加起来，在数量上仍是少数。 但经由她们所体现的中国女性的时代意识的特征，毕竟使20世纪80年代前后着上了极为浓重的色彩，以至于使其他的色彩显得淡化了，难以成为特征了。 最后值得总结的是，20世纪80年代后期交易自身之目的达到了的女性，如今朝她们扫视过去，其实真正获得幸福的相当有限，她们中不少人结果甚至相当不幸。有些女性甚至无国、无家、无夫、无子、无业、无产，除了跌价的容貌资本和贬值的青春股票，实际上几乎一无所获，证明她们当年的交易自身并不能算是成功之举。 女人通过嫁给某类男人的古老方式达到改变命运过另外一种生活之目的，虽比较符合女性的人性特点，虽不必加以苛求的批判，但也不值得格外地予以肯定。 那方式所符合的，乃是女性的人性中太古老的特点。无论以多么“现代”的盒子包装了，仍是古老的。它在女性的意识里越强烈，女性越现代不起来。 无论那目标表面看起来多么能满足自己的虚荣心，多么能引起别人的羡慕，本质上仍是初级的——是以依附于男人为目标前提的。