Chapter 119 Make people three points not cowardly

When dealing with people, friction is inevitable.If the other party is domineering or deliberately making things difficult in order to protect their own interests, what should we do at this time?Take a step back and open up the sea and the sky, so why not let people get three points? Your concession is not an expression of cowardice, but an expression of generosity and tolerance. It can turn disputes into friendship and wars into friendship, which is beneficial to the long-term relationship between the two parties.In the long run, the "income" is far greater than the "expenditure" of making people three points.So it pays to give people three points.To give people a way out is to give yourself a way out, and to be kind to others is to be kind to yourself.

So, how to make people three points? Be forgiving and forgiving.Some people fight for three points unreasonably, and they won't let people get the reason; some people hold the truth, and even let people get the three points.The former often creates many unstable factors in life, while the latter makes life more comfortable and warm. If it is a major or important issue of right and wrong, it is worth pursuing the truth in a principled manner, but in daily life and work, for some trivial things It's too much to make a fuss over a trivial matter. Someone asked Socrates: "It is said that you are the most learned person in the world, so can you tell me, what is the height between the sky and the earth?" Socrates smiled and replied: "Three feet."

The man laughed and said, "Nonsense, each of us is four or five feet tall. If the distance between the sky and the earth is only three feet, wouldn't the sky be poked into a big hole?" Socrates said meaningfully: "So people who are taller than three feet must learn to bow their heads if they want to stand between heaven and earth for a long time!" Socrates' words are worth our deep thinking.If unreasonable and unfair things happen around us, if we lack the courage to bow our heads, the one who gets hurt will be ourselves.Because, once the contradictions intensify to a certain extent, when a situation occurs that makes both parties uncontrollable, they will still suffer from each other after all.

When one party bows its head, it can reduce the explosive power of the conflict. Gradually, the other party also calms down the dispute because of your initiative to give in. A storm disappears, leaving a clear space for each other and everyone. Isn't it a commendable thing! "I will blame myself, I will not blame others" "I can't slap a slap".Knowing this principle, when there is a conflict in interpersonal communication, you can take responsibility and criticize yourself bravely, and you will be able to broaden your thinking.Otherwise, if we blindly blame others and blame others, not only will things not change in any way, but it will create barriers between each other and have a negative impact on unity.

The ancients emphasized "three self-examinations", which means to know one's own shortcomings through self-reflection, so as to learn from each other's strengths and correct mistakes, so as to better behave in the world.Therefore, introspection is also very important in communication.In the face of others' accusations and unfair treatment, can we reflect on ourselves: if he criticizes me, it must be because I have done something wrong; if he is dissatisfied with me, it must be because I have not done well enough.Therefore, when conflicts arise, don't blindly blame others, but first reflect on whether your words and deeds are inappropriate and whether they have caused harm to others.Even if you have been wronged, wouldn't it be beneficial to improve your self-cultivation if you "encourage you if you have nothing to do"?

If you often reflect on yourself, you will naturally be broad-minded and be kind to others.Can one who is kind to others not be treated kindly by others? 1. Bend is a purposeful bend, and the purpose is to stretch. 2. Sometimes Qu is a pretentious one, but it must be done in a proper way, so that people can't see that you did it on purpose. 3. Pay attention to observe the opportunity of "stretching" at any time. Once the opportunity is ripe, take immediate measures to change from flexion to extension. 4. To gain the support of high-level talents, you must put down your airs and show sincerity.

5. Things that do not harm principles and fundamental interests must be "subdued".In exchange for the "stretch" of long-term friendship.