Chapter 113 Grasp the "inside and outside" cleverly "square and round"

When people talk about "Fangyuan", they often associate it with "Inner and Outer". "Fangyuan" and "inner and outer" can be combined into four different styles of people: outer circle and inner square, outer square and inner circle, outer circle and inner circle, and outer square and inner square.How to deal with these people with different personalities?That is "what song to sing on which mountain", and to communicate with different forms of characters, you need to use different communication methods. In daily communication, some people go straight and straight, and have edges and corners, so they are not very flattering.They are often too straightforward, too sincere, too hot-blooded, and too arrogant.They are serious in life and leave no room for it; they are devoted to things and are too prominent; they are full of energy and inevitably show off; they are talented and forget balance.They insisted that it was my fault, so I would admit it and never push back; it was your fault, it was your fault, and I couldn't let it go if I wanted to.People with this kind of personality are people from the inner side and the outer side.It is a compliment to these people to be the same outside and inside, and to stand uprightly. "Don't bow your waist for five buckets of rice" is an allusion created by this kind of people.The loyal Qu Yuan and the upright and selfless Bao Zheng are typical representatives of such characters.It would be unimaginable if there were no such people in society, because they are the cleansers of the air and the stumbling blocks of scandal.

The trick to dealing with this kind of person is: one is honesty.People from the inner side and the outer side don't know how to talk about each other, and they don't know what to do. They are trustworthy and respectable people, so they should be treated with sincerity, care and love.If you are hypocritical and suspicious of them, it will often make them feel strongly disgusted, and they will also show this dissatisfaction on their faces, which will expand the psychological distance between you.Second, be tactful.People from inside and outside are inflexible in doing things and inflexible in their words, which often put some people in an embarrassing situation, so when dealing with them, you should be tactful.When you see people from inside and outside are unobstructed and criticizing sharply, you should use an appropriate method to change the topic, or keep silent, praise, and guide them skillfully.The people inside and outside are pure-hearted, upright and selfless people, and you should not hold grudges against them just because they have "stabbed" you.

A great domestic and foreign writer received a letter from a young man when he was in full swing.The young man said that he would co-write a novel with him.After the great writer read it, he felt a little angry, and he wrote in the letter without reservation: "Mr.: Why are you so bold? You actually want to harness a noble horse and a humble donkey to the same cart. "The young man had an idea, and wrote at the beginning of the letter: "Dear Your Excellency: Why do you praise me like this, and compare me to a horse?" In the second half of the letter, the young man described his writing expertise, Write down the potential, the necessity and feasibility of cooperation, and the impact on youth growth.After the great writer received the letter, he burst out laughing, and immediately replied: "My friend: You are very interesting, please send the manuscript over, I am happy to accept your suggestion." Humorous and witty, sincere in words, and surprisingly successful, it has convinced great writers.

Some people open their mouths for the interests of the people, but keep their mouths closed for party discipline and state law, but they pretend to be male thieves and prostitutes, and personal self-interest.They are impassioned on the stage, just like a gentleman, but off the stage they do some messy and shameful scandals.This kind of person is full of righteousness in front of the leaders and the masses, but he knows very well in his heart what kind of person he is.A person with this form is a person with a circle inside and a square outside.Because they are good at playing double skins with words and deeds, and are good at playing double-faced tactics, they are extremely deceptive.On the big stage of life, they are excellent actors.Corrupt officials with a golden halo and villains with a cloak of charity are typical representatives of this type of characters.They are very good at packaging themselves. If you peel off this layer of packaging, they will reveal their true colors. "Gold and jade are outside, and ruins are inside" is an appropriate evaluation of them.

If you deal with people of this type, you must be flexible, because they say one thing and think another way, so when dealing with them, you must neither listen to what they say, nor fully believe what they say.How to communicate, what strategies to use, what methods to use, and what to say, you must be flexible according to the situation at the time, and you must not be fascinated by their "excellent expositions" and enter a dead end.When interacting with this kind of person, the first task is to analyze his true heart based on various aspects of information, and then prescribe the right medicine.In this way, you can not be confused by them, grasp their true intentions, and achieve your own communication goals.

When going straight will hurt other people's self-esteem, when being aggressive will put oneself in an embarrassing situation, when Fang Fangzheng cannot achieve satisfactory results, some people will adopt smooth and flexible strategies.It is obviously correct and should be persisted without hesitation, but because the resistance of persistence is too great, it is against the will to pretend to be deaf and dumb; it is obviously wrong and should be refuted with confidence, but for the sake of long-term consideration, it is suppressed and silent.These people would rather be female than provocative and jealous; they weigh their interests in everything, and they will never act emotionally.These people are people with square inside and round outside.They are self-disciplined, sophisticated, principled and flexible.Because he is smart and capable, but does not show his sharpness, and does not show his emotions or anger, he is slick in all directions, and is often able to handle complex interpersonal relationships with ease.When the building is about to fall, the people on the inner side and the outer circle will form the beams and pillars supporting the building together with the people on the inner side and the outer side.Zhuge Liang, who has a clear understanding of the world, and Zeng Guofan, who is modest and self-disciplined, are typical representatives of such characters.

If you communicate with this type of character, you must pay attention to two points: one is to be polite and reasonable.Although people with square inside and round outside are easy-going on the surface, they hate vulgarity and evil in their hearts. People who are rude and unreasonable cannot form close friends with such people.If you want to shorten the psychological distance with this kind of people, you must show your positive, healthy and upward communication attitude.Try to show low-spirited words and deeds in front of these people as little as possible, so that you can get the approval of such people.The second is to be moderate.A person with square inside and round outside will not show dissatisfaction on his face even if he is quite disgusted with others. He is very friendly to you on the surface, but you can't figure out what is going on inside him.Therefore, when interacting with them, you must pay attention to propriety and control moderately, and don't push yourself and get carried away just because he has a smile on his face.

A wealthy overseas Chinese wanted to investigate and set up a factory in his poor and backward hometown.The head of the township who received him was very enthusiastic, and first invited him to a hotel for a small gathering. The overseas Chinese could not save face, so they had to "do as the Romans do".But the overseas Chinese are not good at drinking, and after a few drinks, their faces turn red and their necks thick, and they shake their heads and refuse to drink.But in order to express his "landlord friendship", how could the mayor not let him drink enough?So he said all the good things and persuaded him to "have another" glass of wine.The overseas Chinese did not forget to maintain their modest and gentlemanly demeanor, so they reluctantly drank a few more glasses.After drinking, the mayor invited the overseas Chinese to "karaoke" in order to express his "hospitality". Originally, the overseas Chinese didn't like to sing, but in order not to hurt the mayor's self-esteem, he spent the whole night with him.The next day, the overseas Chinese left 10,000 yuan to pay for yesterday's hospitality, and left this barren homeland.The head of the township was very puzzled, the overseas Chinese had always been in high spirits, why did they leave suddenly?well!The township head doesn't understand the characteristics of overseas Chinese: they are upright in heart, can't understand the township head's domineering, and can't understand the township head's waste of time; while the overseas Chinese are tactful, they don't criticize face to face, and don't lose their demeanor.If the head of the township is polite and proper in receiving overseas Chinese, the result is self-evident.

In life, some people are good at studying "personnel affairs" and focus on personal self-interest. If they should bow their heads, they should lower their heads, if they should burn incense, they should burn, to pull relationships that should be drawn, to be confused when they should be confused, and to act when they should.Not only is he tactful and sophisticated in dealing with people, but he also has no principles in his heart, no constraints or precepts on himself, and rarely asks for the true meaning of life.When they encounter good things, things that show their faces, and things that are beneficial, they grab them; when they encounter bad things, things that are unknown, and things that are not beneficial, they push them away.This kind of person is a person with a circle inside and a circle outside.The difference from the inner square and the outer circle is that they generally do not sympathize with the weak, help the poor, and even calculate and distort people for their own benefit.Representatives of this kind of people are undoubtedly some street rogues and street villains.Because they lack the spirit of indomitable spirit, they generally will not become masters.

If you interact with this kind of person, you must do your best to argue with reason.Because people with inner circle and outer circle do not have any rules of life that must be followed deep in their hearts, they may do things that harm others and benefit themselves.They should be clearly corrected for their inappropriate behavior, and don't be embarrassed to tell the truth and make yourself wronged just because you care about face too much.In addition, when cooperating with people who are inner circle and outer circle, you must be cautious and cautious, and don't trust them too much.People with an inner circle and an outer circle are very aware of their shortcomings, so they are also afraid that others will not be loyal and keep their promises. Therefore, when dealing with such people, you must clearly signal them: If you keep your promise, then I will keep your promise; If you don't keep your word, don't blame me for being rude.Under the guidance of this approach, they can be driven on the correct communication track.

A certain person is a typical person with a round inside and a round outside.At work, there are some things that need to be done in cooperation with everyone. When the leader appears, he will always act very humbly and listen to the opinions of his colleagues. When the leader walks away, he will change into another face and say to his colleagues: " You still have experience in this matter, you can do it.” Finally, the colleague worked hard to solve the problem, and he submitted the work report to the leader: “It took me several nights to figure out these parts, please take a look. See if it’s appropriate?” As a result, when commending, he received much more rewards than the colleague who contributed more.Everyone was unconvinced, but there was nothing they could do about him. After all, who did what was not recorded at the time.