Chapter 98 Be tactful and reserved

The British writer Oscar Wilde was poor when he was not famous. An aristocrat wanted to hire him as a tutor. When talking about the accommodation conditions, the aristocrat asked him if he would like to have meals with his family. Wilde replied: "It depends on the time of meal." Do you know how to be polite?" Although he didn't give a direct answer, it actually euphemistically expressed Wilde's potential concerns - to see if the noble family respected him. Euphemism is a kind of art of conversation that is both gentle and tactful and can express thoughts clearly and clearly. It is a method of expressing the original intention implicitly by using roundabout language.This is a buffering method in communication, which can make the originally difficult communication smooth, and allow the listener to understand the original meaning in a more comfortable atmosphere.

The distinctive feature of euphemism is "the words are here and the meaning is there", which can induce the other party to understand your words and find the hidden meaning.From a psychological point of view, euphemistic and subtle words, whether it is to put forward your own views or persuade the other party, can be more suitable for the other party's psychological self-esteem, making it easier for the other party to agree and accept your statement.Some words have similar meanings, but slightly different expressions give people a very different feeling, such as: who—which one; don’t come—I’m sorry, I can’t come; I can’t do it—I’m sorry, I can’t do it; what Things—what’s your problem, please; if it doesn’t work, forget it—if you find it difficult, then I won’t bother you... The former is too straightforward, while the latter is more euphemistic and pleasant, making it easier to accept.

Lincoln was very good at using words with visual effect. When he was tired of the long, complicated and stereotyped reports sent to the White House desk every day, he raised objections, but he did not speak with that flatness. not in words, but in a pictorial one that is almost impossible to forget. "When I send a man out to buy a horse," he said, "I don't want the man to tell me how many hairs the horse has on its tail. I just want to know what's special about it." Euphemistic and implicit expressions are generally carried out through two methods: one is the implication method, which can be used when saying something that is difficult to say; the other is the vague method, which can only be understood but not expressed.No matter which method is used, the purpose is to take into account the other party's face and make it easy for the other party to step down.

When speaking in a tactful way, we should pay attention to our tone, tone and speed of speech, because sometimes they reflect whether your attitude is really "tactful".In music, there are fast and slow symbols such as extremely fast, fast, slightly faster, slow, slightly slow, and slowest; there are also strong and weak symbols such as extremely strong, strong, diminishing, weak, and extremely weak.If you want your words to be as beautiful as music, don't forget to be fast when you should be fast, high when you should be high, slow when you should be slow, and low when you should be low.Speech without cadence is the most tiresome of the listeners.

A tactful person always speaks in a soft voice.This kind of discourse is like soft moonlight and trickling spring water, flowing from the bottom of the heart, relaxed and natural, kind and friendly, unhurried, and can give the listener a feeling of comfort, ease, delicateness, intimacy, friendliness, and warmth.People often use this form of language when asking, asking, comforting, or stating an opinion.