Chapter 36 Don't forget the losers

The face problem should not be underestimated. "Don't slap people in the face when you hit someone" refers to protecting other people's face.Face is often directly related to "face", and it is for this reason that people have to be careful when dealing with "face" in social interactions.In socializing, some competitive and competitive recreational activities are often carried out. Experienced socializers, when they are "strong" and absolutely able to win, often do not cause the opponent to lose miserably. On the contrary, it is intentional to allow the opponent to win a game or two, neither hindering the overall victory of oneself, nor causing the opponent to lose face too much.

For example, some chess masters, after winning several games in a row, often deliberately make a few wrong moves, allowing the opponent to win one or two games in the end.Being in the world is just like playing chess. Only those young people with little experience can win seven or eight games in one breath. In fact, competition is also a special social activity.And those smart social masters can be magnanimous in the competition between you and me, and it is indeed worth learning for us to make people three points.Although under normal circumstances, we don't have many opportunities to participate in competitions, but in social activities, we will inevitably encounter some communication partners who are not as good as us in terms of strength or social status. At this time, we should pay attention to maintaining the self-esteem of the other party. Unintentionally "comparing" with the other party, thus causing the other party's psychological gap, feeling underestimated, and unwilling to communicate with us.This way of making people save face also shows their generosity and self-cultivation.

Maintaining the other party's face in front of those who are not as powerful as ourselves is a commendable way of communication; and we should also pay attention to maintaining the other party's face in front of the frustrated. Once, someone invited some friends to dinner at home, and these friends were familiar with each other.The main purpose of the host to bring them together is to make a friend who is currently in a low mood feel better through the lively atmosphere. This friend closed down a company not long ago due to poor management, and his wife is also discussing divorce with him because of the pressure of unbearable life. He is really suffering from internal and external pressure.

Friends who came to dinner knew what this friend was going through, and everyone avoided talking about career-related matters, but one of the friends, surnamed Wu, was making a lot of money and couldn’t help but start talking after a few glasses of wine. Talking about his ability to make money and spending money, that kind of smug expression made even the master feel a little uncomfortable. The frustrated friend bowed his head in silence, his face was very ugly, he went to the toilet for a while, and washed his face for a while, and then he drank a glass of wine and left early.The master sent him out, and at the door, he said angrily: "Old Wu knows how to make money, so there is no need to show it off so grandly!"

The master understands his feelings, because many years ago he also encountered a low ebb, and his relatives showed off their salaries and year-end bonuses in front of him. The feeling was like needles being stuck in his heart, as uncomfortable as he said . Thinking of this, the master comforted the frustrated friend: "Don't worry about it, Lao Wu didn't do it on purpose. The important thing is to build up our confidence! I believe you will be able to get out of the trough!" The frustrated friend Han Went away with tears. Old Wu's show off will make the frustrated person think that Old Wu is laughing at himself. How can this frustrated friend not feel sad or angry about this?

In life, some people always like to show off their proud things in front of others, always thinking that this will make friends look up to them and make others admire themselves, but they don’t know that others are not willing to listen to your proud things.Showing off yourself is counterproductive. In front of your friends, don't show off your pride. He doesn't want to hear such news. If you only care about showing off your pride, the other party will alienate you, so you will lose a friend without knowing it. A smart person will keep his pride in his heart instead of talking about it, let alone take it as a capital to show off.In the face of frustrated friends, instead of showing off, the winners should find opportunities to comfort and encourage the losers.This will show your sincerity.

You can save face with your friends by keeping your mouth shut about what you are proud of, but it can only make your communication reach a "passing" level.If you talk with a friend, you focus on the things that make him care and proud, so that you can win the other party's favor and approval, which will make your communication level reach "excellent". There was a man who almost didn't even have a friend among his colleagues when he was first transferred to the Municipal Personnel Bureau, and he couldn't figure out why. It turned out that this person thought he was very proud of himself, and was very satisfied with his opportunities and talents. He tried his best to show off his achievements in work to his colleagues almost every day, showing off how many people asked him for help every day. He just gave him a "proud thing" like a gift.But after his colleagues heard this, not only did no one share his "satisfaction", but they were also extremely unhappy.

Later, it was his old father who had been a leader for many years who pointed it out, and he realized where his crux was.From then on, he seldom showed off his pride in front of his colleagues and friends.Because they also have a lot to brag about, talking about their accomplishments excites them more than hearing other people brag about them. Later, whenever he had time to chat with his colleagues, he always let the other party talk about their pride.Over time, his colleagues have become his good friends. Carnegie once pointed out: "If we only want to express ourselves to others and make others interested in us, we will never have many real and sincere friends."

Everyone attaches great importance to themselves, likes to talk about themselves, and hopes that others will value themselves. If you let him talk about his pride, or let you tell his pride, he will definitely have a good impression of you, and he will definitely become friends with you. good friend. In this society where you are no longer fighting the world alone, if you can make your friends agree with you and help you, then it will be much easier for you to pursue success.