Chapter 35 Skillfully use words to draw out good feelings

To move people's hearts in speech mainly depends on people's wisdom and accumulation of life experience.Skillful use of language will make communication receive good results. There was a pair of newlyweds. At the wedding, someone asked them to introduce their relationship.The woman said: "Once I was suddenly called 'Zhu' by him, and I have been hopelessly captured by him since then..." As soon as the words fell, people laughed.It turned out that the man had always called her by her name in the past, but suddenly he called her by her nickname, and the distance between the two suddenly shortened, and it was difficult to separate from then on.

This is the case in love, and it is the same in other aspects of communication.For example, giving golfers the nickname "cave brother" on the golf course, and calling patients who are hospitalized together as "patients" in the hospital can shorten the psychological distance. In the face of a high-ranking opponent, first emphasize his ability to satisfy his self-esteem, and then he can easily "capture" him.Because no matter who you are, you always hope to gain the trust and respect of others, even if you know it is flattery, you still accept it happily.And people with higher self-esteem have this tendency.

There was a boss who asked a subordinate to work in a business office in a remote area.His conversation skills are as follows: he first made a mess of the situation of the business office that the subordinate was going to, and then said in an infinitely trusting tone: "If this continues, that business office must be closed. Fortunately, there is you now. As long as you can get there, you can bring the dead back to life and make the business flourish." No one would be happy to be stationed in a remote area, but the subordinates were not only not discouraged after hearing such important words, but also planned to do a good job.

Knowing that the other party will be unhappy if you propose conditions that are unfavorable to the other party, you have to try to "capture" him. This is a difficult problem often encountered in negotiation situations. One of the most important ways to deal with this problem is to get a "vaccination" first.That is, before starting a conversation, try to "capture" the other party's emotions first.But before talking about the topic, say: "Of course, I know I will be scolded, but I still have to say..." "At the risk of making you unhappy..." and so on.

As long as you say similar things, the other party will definitely not scold you, but will think you are sincere and cute, so that the other party will be "captured" naturally. Qiaoshuo does not refer to "smart words" or "fancy words", but refers to the speaker's consciously and ingeniously conceiving and designing what he wants to say, and expressing it in a novel, unique and ingenious way in order to impress and conquer the other party. This method often has two characteristics: one is new, that is, the clever words have a novel and unique form of expression; .

To master this method proficiently, it is necessary to break the stereotype of thinking, and to often "fantasy" and "whimsical", in order to come up with new and strange words, and achieve the effect of "the words are not surprising and endless". But novelty is not sensationalism, it is not produced out of thin air from the mind, but must be based on extensive knowledge, conditioned by a flexible mind, and constantly obtain inspiration from life. Clever speaking can sometimes have the effect of being unexpected and getting twice the result with half the effort.

When an old overseas Chinese lady was visiting Wuyi Mountain, she accidentally cut her beloved long skirt, and immediately lost her interest in traveling, and she didn't want to go on the mountain road. Seeing this, the female tour guide who accompanied her said kindly, "Look, this is Wuyishan's affection for you. I don't want you to leave here in a hurry. I want you to take a closer look!" After hearing this, the old lady immediately turned her worry into joy, stood up and continued climbing. The female guide's words were clever. Everything has both positive and negative aspects. In a negative situation, you must see the positive side, and use clever words to persuade and persuade the other party, which will turn an unpleasant incident into a rather comic episode.This is where the charm of cleverness can be seen.

1. Finding other people's feelings is the prerequisite for holding his feelings. 2. Listening is very important. Listening is the most important way to grasp the other party's preferences, personality and other information. 3. The personality and passion of independent thinking can impress people's wisdom and affect their emotions. 4. "Meeting on a narrow road, the brave wins" is a very necessary skill when you need to charge forward in the social field. 5. Pulling is not hard, but skillful.Wisdom should be exchanged for results, not hard work.It's like leading an ox across a river. You put the grass in your hand and lead the ox across the river, instead of working hard on how to pull the rein better.