Chapter 30 Let him speak freely with wisdom

The communication between people is the communication between two parties.The most taboo thing is a cold spot or a jam.So how to open the other party's chatterbox? Many people who are not polite always come in halfway when others are talking about something, when they are talking about something they are happy about, so that others are caught off guard and have to die down. This is the kind of guy who won't tell you up front that he's going to chime in.Sometimes he doesn't care what you're saying when he interjects, and shifts the topic to something he's interested in.Sometimes he makes a triumphant display of his eloquence by uttering your conclusions instead.In either case, there is a sudden sense of disgust in the speaker, because someone who interrupts someone casually has no respect for others.

Psychologists put forward a concept - mental set: if a person has something in his stomach, he will start his mental set to prepare to speak, and he will not turn to listen to you until he has finished talking. Opinion. The person with the most mind-boggling skills, when his opinion is opposed, or someone wants to complain, always listens patiently to the other party's speech, and further asks the other party to repeat some of the points and reasons, and asks if the other party still agrees. I have something else to say.Doing so will eliminate the other party's resistance and make the other party realize that the obedient person is interested in his point of view.

If a topic of yours arouses a strong interest in the other person, no matter how silent he is, he will say something.Therefore, when you are stagnant in the conversation, you must try to find and constantly arouse the interest of the other party so that the conversation can continue. When you compliment a parent on their child, or even show that you like that child, the parent will soon become your friend.Give them a chance to talk about their children, and they'll talk naturally and freely.This kind of topic is much more meaningful than if you say "it's a beautiful day today".

Voltaire said, "A man is judged by his questions, not by his answers." The general means of obtaining information in a conversation is to ask questions.The language we choose to ask questions, the way we introduce them, etc., can dramatically affect the quality of others' answers.Appropriate questions can guide the conversation of the person being asked and help you obtain valuable information. Ruan Cishan, a well-known Phoenix talker, started his interview with New Zealand’s newly appointed young and handsome Prime Minister John Key in "Dialogue with Wind and Cloud" as follows: "I heard that your arm was injured. Is it better now?"

The Prime Minister smiled and replied: "I'm fine now. I was in an event to celebrate the Chinese New Year of the Ox. I accidentally slipped and propped my hand on the ground and broke my bone. They gave me a plaster cast, and later Proceeds from this plaster auction have been donated to charitable foundations." "Are you sure you're all right?" "Haha, it's okay." John made a gesture casually. This kind of high-end interview is originally very serious political, but Ruan Cishan used such a question about health as the beginning.In this way, both parties have been brought into a relaxed environment, allowing the other party to relax, so as to be beneficial to the subsequent visit, and allow the other party's answers to show his friendliness to China and his concern and contribution to charity.

In communication, it is inevitable to meet professionals. When dealing with them, we may not be able to temporarily supplement some professional knowledge.But we still need to learn more about what the other party cares about, and focus on this to keep the topic going.In this way, the other party will speak to you full of words, which is the success of efficient conversation. Say, for example, you're going to talk to a doctor, and you're a complete layman in medicine.At this time, you can open the situation by asking questions. "Recently, the swine flu has become more and more serious. It seems that there have been confirmed cases that have flowed into our country. I wonder how the current epidemic is going?" Asking a professional question related to the current news, while at the same time being relevant to the other party's work, in this way , you can continue talking with the other party.There are many topics that can be discussed, from swine flu to environmental sanitation, immunization, and Chinese patent medicines...as long as he is not bored, he can continue to talk about it.

If we meet a real estate agent, we can ask him: "What is the trend of housing prices under the state's macro-control recently?" If you meet a person in the home appliance industry, you can ask him: "Compared with Japanese appliances, European and American appliances, what is the cost-effectiveness of domestic appliances?" If we meet a teacher, we can ask him, "How is the student learning?" Although it is impossible for us to be as professional as professionals, if we find out the relevant industry background, policy news, purchasing skills and other issues that they know very well, and ask them for advice, they will definitely talk eloquently when they meet "confidantes".

Psychologically speaking, everyone has their own interests, and they all have a special affection for people who share the same interests as themselves.Therefore, when the other party hears that he is so interested in his hobbies and understands them so well, he will feel very cordial because of the "resonance". Anyone who has visited Roosevelt has been amazed by his extensive knowledge.Whether it was a shepherd boy, a horse hunter, a New York politician, or a diplomat, Roosevelt knew what to talk to.So how did Roosevelt do it?The answer is simple.Whenever Roosevelt received a visitor, he would learn about the special interests of the visitor beforehand in order to find interesting topics.

Talking about the things that the other party is interested in is to give the other party a compliment and affirmation invisibly, which will make you gain a good impression, thereby shortening the distance between each other, and achieving the purpose of influencing and persuading others.