Chapter 69 bad language

No parent really wants their child to be completely ignorant of the dirty words their peers say.These words are powerful, expressive, and forbidden, and thus make the child feel like an adult and important.When kids use a barrage of expletives at a secret party, they feel as though they've just drafted their own Declaration of Independence. Dirty words must be described and explained to the child.Parents should be honest with their children about how they feel about it, and a mother can say, "I don't like these words at all, but I know some children say them, and even some adults say them, and I don't want to hear them. Whatever you want A friend of mine said go ahead.” Likewise, we acknowledge and respect our children’s wishes and feelings, but limit and guide their behavior.

Some parents feel upset and overwhelmed when they see their preteens develop close, even passionate, relationships with friends of the same sex.They worry about their children's sexual orientation, mostly because they worry about the difficulties their children will face if they come out publicly as gay.During prepubescence, boys are intimate with boys and girls are intimate with girls, and most of the time together they talk about sex.They exchanged experiences, told and recounted what each had discovered.This same-sex friendship is a necessary prelude to the development of heterosexual love.

There have been experiments with children of the same sex, but we now know that unless they are inclined to do so, they choose opposite-sex partners anyway.Surveys show that only 4 percent of men and 2 percent of women identify themselves as gay, although many admit to having had a homosexual experience.Confusion about sexual orientation during early adolescence is not abnormal. Children whose parents are open-minded and receptive are lucky to have parents who allow them to share their thoughts and concerns about sex with them.What can experts tell parents?Previously, gay teenagers were sent to psychotherapy, but even Freud was not optimistic about changing one's sexual orientation.Today, we know that same-sex orientation is largely dictated by biological factors, so homosexuality has become more acceptable and attempts to change one's sexual orientation have decreased.

Parents should not be judgmental, or engage in moral implication when talking to their children about homosexuality.Likewise, don't shy away from talking about what it's like for a man to fall in love with a man, not a woman.Be honest with your child on this matter, and tell your child the most useful things you know.Your child will thank you because you trusted him and told him the truth when he asked you, "Why did Rebecca have two moms?" instead of hiding it.