Chapter 29 Long-term and short-term plans

The answer seems to lie in developing a plan that combines long-term and short-term efforts.First of all, we must have this understanding: quality education depends on our relationship with our children, and quality characteristics cannot be transmitted through words, but must be conveyed through actions. The first step in a long-term plan is to pay attention to the child's thoughts and emotions, not to react to their behavior, their outward compliance or resistance, but to the real thought that caused the behavior. How can we become aware of what our children think and feel?Children give us clues.Their emotions will be revealed through their words, tone of voice, gestures, and postures. All we have to do is to listen with our ears, see with our eyes, and feel with our hearts.The motto in our hearts is: let me understand, let me show that I understand, and let me use words without being critical and condemning.

When your child comes home from school, silent, inactive, and sluggish, we can tell by her gait that something is wrong with her.According to our motto, we should not start a conversation with words of criticism, such as: "What kind of face is that?" "What's wrong with you? Lost your best friend?" "What did you do again this time?" "What trouble did you have today?" Since we care about our child's emotions, we should avoid comments that only create disgust and make her wish she never came home again.Children are entitled to sympathetic responses from parents who claim to love them, not ridicule and sarcasm.For example:

"You have encountered something unpleasant." "You didn't go very well today." "It looks like you're having a bad day." "Someone upset you." The above declarative sentences are preferable to those "what's the matter", "what's the matter with you", "what happened" questions.Questions convey curiosity, while declarative sentences convey sympathy.But even sympathetic words from parents cannot immediately change the child's bad mood. It takes time for the child to absorb the love expressed in the words that the parents understand.