Chapter 27 Chapter 4 Responsibility: Delivering Values ​​Rather than Requiring Obedience

We want our children to be responsible human beings, and we want their sense of responsibility to be rooted in the highest values, including respect for life and concern for human well-being, in common terms: compassion, responsibility and humanity.We don't usually think about accountability in a larger framework.We consider responsibility, often in more specific terms: a child's messy room, being late for school, sloppy homework, reluctant piano practice, sullen disobedience, or a bad attitude . Although children may be polite, keep themselves and their room tidy, and do their homework correctly, they can still make irresponsible decisions, especially those who are told what to do and what to do all day long. Less opportunities to practice their own judgment, less opportunities to make their own choices, cultivate their own inner standards, so it is easier to make irresponsible decisions.

On the other hand, children who are given the opportunity to make their own decisions grow up to be spiritually self-reliant, able to choose a partner and a job that suits them as adults. How much children learn what we want them to know depends on their internal reactions to the emotions we teach.Values ​​cannot be taught directly.Children are only assimilated by those they love and respect, and by imitating them, children absorb their values ​​and become part of their own. In this way, the question of the child's sense of responsibility returns to the parents, or more precisely, to the question of the parents' values. The values ​​expressed by the parents in the process of educating their children can deepen the relationship between parents and children.The question that needs to be considered now is: Are there any clear viewpoints and methods that may give children the sense of responsibility we expect?The rest of this chapter is an attempt to answer this question from a psychological perspective.