Chapter 13 Chapter Thirteen Persuasion Eloquence

"Persuasion" is a common phenomenon in life.People live in this world with different experiences, different personalities, different knowledge, and different majors. The corresponding mentality, interests, work, and behavior are of course also different. "There are a thousand Hamlets in the hearts of a thousand readers." On the one hand, it shows the complexity of the artistic image of Hamlet in Shakespeare's plays, and on the other hand, it also shows the huge differences between people.Therefore, persuasion has played an important role in the communication between people since ancient times.Confucius traveled around the world and talked about etiquette, and Su Qin and Zhang Yi were connected horizontally and vertically among the seven countries, leaving many good stories through the ages.

As the era enters the 21st century, persuasion has become the key to establishing harmonious interpersonal relationships.Persuasion is an art, and it is a concrete manifestation of a person's comprehensive quality.For example, some authoritative speeches or insights proved by practice, people naturally do not talk about self-convincing, but in daily life, if you want to persuade someone because of something, you must master some persuasive skills and rules to improve the efficiency of persuasion.As the saying goes, "Know yourself and know your enemy, and you will win every battle".If you want to find the best breakthrough point to persuade others in the fastest time, you can try to start from the following aspects.

Get to know the other person's personality.People with different personalities have different ways of accepting other people's opinions and degrees of sensitivity. Such as: Is it a person with an impatient personality, or a person with a steady personality;Once you understand the other person's personality, you can persuade him in a targeted manner according to his personality characteristics. Know each other's strengths.A person's strengths are the areas he is most familiar with and understands best.For example, some people are more familiar with army life, some are more familiar with rural life, some are good at literature and art, some are good at sports, some are good at communication, some are good at calculation, etc.

When persuading people, we should rely on the strengths of the other party.First, you can talk with him; second, in the field he is good at, it is easy for him to understand when talking about it, so it is easy to persuade him; third, you can use his strengths as a favorable condition for persuading him.For example: a articulate and communicative person, when assigning him to do sales work, can say: "You have a rare talent in this area than others, and this is the best opportunity to develop your potential ability." According to the data, it can also show the trust of the leader in him, and it can also arouse his interest in the new job.

Learn about the other person's interests.Some people like painting, some people like music, some people like reading books, others like playing chess, raising birds, collecting stamps, calligraphy, writing, etc.Everyone likes to do and talk about what interests them most.From here, it is easier to achieve the purpose of persuasion by opening his "talking box" and persuading him. Get to know the other person's thinking.It is by no means accidental that a person insists on an idea, he must have his own reasons, and the reasons he speaks are generally in line with his own interests or human nature.But this is often not what he wants to insist on, but he just doesn't want to admit it, and it's hard to say.If the persuader can really understand his "difficulties", he can solve them in a targeted manner.

Understand the other person's emotions.Generally speaking, the factors that affect the other party's emotions are as follows.One is that the other party’s mood caused by other things before the conversation is still working; the other is that the other party’s attention has not been concentrated at the time of the conversation; the third is the view and attitude towards the persuader.Therefore, before starting to persuade, the persuader should try to understand the other party's thoughts and emotions at that time, which is a crucial link for the success or failure of persuasion.

All of these, you have to study carefully before you can take effective persuasion methods in a targeted manner.In addition, there is a lot to learn about each other.Many people are unable to persuade others because they don't study the other party carefully, and don't study how to express it, so they jump to conclusions in a hurry, thinking that they "see through others at a glance".This is like those careless doctors who prescribe medicine without knowing the patient's condition, and of course it will not have good results. Kiyoshi Ichimura, chairman of Japan's RIKEN Optical Company, wanted to persuade Mr. M to buy a newly invented photosensitive paper, but he heard that Mr. M had never been interested in such new technologies and inventions.Kiyoshi Shimura observed carefully and spoke very politely. He explained the performance of the photosensitive paper to him, once, twice... six times, seven times, and visited again and again.One day, Mr. M got impatient and yelled: "If I say no, it's no good. You'll understand after a few times! In the future, don't contact our cartographer again." He became angry, which proved that he has begun to care about your interests. Behavior.Here's something promising.Now that he was already angry, it would be a pity to let him calm down.So, Ichimura went again the next morning.

"I told you yesterday, why are you here again!" "Oh! It was very difficult to be scolded yesterday, so I came again." Kiyoshi Shimura replied with a smile, "I'm sorry to bother you, goodbye!" Mr. M was stunned I stopped, but Shimura Kiyoshi thought that he had already responded and achieved a certain effect, so he retreated for the time being.Early the next morning he went again. "Good morning!" The four eyes met, and Mr. M was finally persuaded by Shimura Kiyoshi. When a concept has entered the hearts of people for a long time, it is indeed difficult for outsiders to change it with words.At this time, the most powerful weapon can be used to convince him.

To change a person's prejudice on a matter, you must find the fact that is contrary to his idea, introduce this fact naturally, and when the time is right, explain it, develop it, and make it truly your powerful argument.It is often much harder to change one person's prejudice against another.But it can be done in the same way, but it will take longer time and more persistence, that is, to accumulate more facts.Let the facts speak and make the speaking voice more powerful. We live in a digital world, and almost everything we see, hear and think every day does not involve numbers.Therefore, we may be more or less numb or bored with numbers.In fact, this feeling is very natural, because numbers are just a symbol representing facts, not facts themselves.When using numbers when persuading others, pay attention to the following two essentials.

Don't come up with numbers unless you have to.Throwing too many numbers will not only confuse and close the other person's heart, but also make the audience think you are impersonal, because all you care about is cold numbers. Try to breathe life into boring numbers.That is to say, let the facts represented by the numbers become part of the life experience of ordinary people.Only in this way can people feel friendly and interested in numbers.For example, if the first number statement below can be changed to the second statement, its influence will be significantly increased. If you accept my proposal, the company can save at least 67,453,750 yuan in expenses every month!

If you accept my proposal, the company can save at least 67,453,750 yuan in expenses every month!From another point of view, if the saved expenses can be evenly distributed to every member of the company in the form of a salary increase, the monthly salary of each person will increase by 3,500 yuan! One day, Carnegie suddenly received invitations to speak from two research institutions at the same time. For a while, he couldn't decide which invitation to accept.But after negotiating with the two responsible persons separately, he chose the latter. During the phone call, the inviter of the first institution said: "Mr. Carnegie will not hesitate to teach you to teach the company the skills of speaking to the managers of small and medium-sized enterprises. Since I do not know the content of your speech, please Make up your own mind. The number of people is estimated to be no more than one hundred... Please leave everything alone!" Carnegie believed that the inviter's speech was flat and lacking in enthusiasm.It gives people the impression that it is a work-for-work attitude, which makes people feel no enthusiasm and leaves a very bad impression on him.In addition, the other party neither clearly reminded Carnegie of what to do and to what extent, nor did he clearly explain the number of people attending the lecture. How should he be taught how to decide the content of the speech?In this regard, Carnegie naturally did not have a good impression.The inviter of another institution said this: "I implore Mr. Carnegie to teach you some tips to enhance the speaking skills of managers of small and medium-sized enterprises. The participants are all business managers with about 50 employees, and they are scheduled to listen The number of people is 70. Because we deeply realize that the era of mind-to-heart connection is getting farther and farther away from us, and the traditional bad habit of subordinates looking at the boss's face and doing things is no longer feasible. Therefore, the main purpose of inviting Mr. to come to the speech this time is to let all Participants understand that those who do not express their thoughts clearly cannot become excellent management talents. It is hoped that the speech time will be limited to about two hours, and the content will be focused on: ① the necessity of learning speaking skills; ② mastering speaking skills ③The learning method of speaking skills. I hope to bring you a unique speech. Please take care of everything!" Carnegie clearly felt that the inviter of this institution was bright, capable and full of confidence, and he completely conveyed his enthusiasm to himself without reservation.More importantly, the other party answered all the questions before he asked any questions.Therefore, in Carnegie's mind, the scene of being on the podium immediately appeared, and he was able to imagine the expressions of the participants and what he should say. Obviously, this kind of invitation can bring good impression to the invitees. Obviously persuading people takes a certain amount of skill.The most important of these is to follow certain steps.Just like marching and fighting, only by step by step can we win steadily, and it is easy to form an overwhelming momentum. In order to make the other party agree with your point of view, it is necessary to attract the other party's attention to the topic you set.Use words such as "What do you think of such a thing? This is definitely useful to you..." to divert his attention and make him willing and interested to listen. The ability to understand and express clearly is the first element of successful persuasion.Whether the other party can easily listen to your thoughts and plans depends on how skillfully you use your language skills. Be precise and specific about the topic you want to express.For example, "Isn't this a big improvement?" and so on, go further into the topic so that the other party can fully understand.In order to make your description more vivid, it is necessary to quote some metaphors and examples to deepen the impression of the listener.Appropriate quotations of metaphors and examples can make people have concrete impressions; can make abstract and obscure truths easy to understand; and even make your subject more specific or familiar.In this way, you can smoothly make the other party have a vivid impression in your mind.The speed of speaking, the volume of voice, the level of intonation, the length of pauses, and the clarity of articulation cannot be ignored. In addition to language, you must also assist with appropriate facial expressions and body language. Only by accurately figuring out the psychology of the other party before persuasion can we move people's hearts.Through the content of your persuasion to the other party, find out whether the other party likes and is satisfied with this topic, and then use the trend to move or lure him to benefit, and tell him "If you do what I say, it will definitely save time and money, and it will be beautiful and elegant. , and there is a market..." Keep stimulating his desire until he is eager to try. For example, what is he thinking, and what is his usual behavior pattern?Now what does he want to do etc.Generally speaking, people's thinking and actions are controlled by consciousness, and no matter how others or the outside world suggest or force them, they may not be able to make them change.Therefore, those who want to convince others with eloquence must realize that the protagonist of persuasion is not themselves but the other party.In other words, the purpose of persuasion is to use the strength of the other party to serve oneself, not to overwhelm the other party. Therefore, one must conquer the other party from the depths of emotion. After the previous preparations are done, you can tell the other party how to take action.You have to let the other party understand what he should do, how best to do it, and so on.At this point, the other party will often happily do what you say. When dealing with strangers, both parties will have a certain degree of alertness.This mental state will affect the two parties to communicate freely.Therefore, eliminating the state of alert and letting people relax is the first problem to be solved.When the person you are communicating with has a stubborn opinion, it is often difficult to express your point of view straightforwardly. When encountering this situation, it is best to adopt "detour tactics". The so-called roundabout tactic is to divert the opponent's attention away from his sensitive issues, make a detour, and then return to the main topic.This can eliminate the other party's wariness and avoid a stalemate.Carnegie once warned people: When talking with people, let the other party accept your point of view. Don't discuss the issues that the two sides disagree with first, but emphasize first and repeatedly emphasize the things that you agree with.Let the other person say "yes" and "right" at the beginning, rather than let the other person say "no" at the beginning. Psychological research has found that when people say "no", his whole body, including body and spirit, is affected.are in a state of apparent contraction.This state tends to make him reject anyone's opinion.At the same time, when the word "no" is spoken, people are unwilling to repent.Even if he clearly realizes that he has made a mistake, he will find all kinds of reasons to justify himself, and even derogate the other party's point of view. This is a kind of self-esteem. After understanding this truth, when persuading the other party, try not to let the other party say the word "no", or let him temporarily forget his point of view.Try to get the other person to say "yes" as much as possible.At this time, he is relaxed, and it is easier to accept other people's opinions, at least he will not easily oppose them, but will weigh them first.And once the word "yes" is said, he will not deny it easily.Therefore, use this psychological effect to make the other party accept your opinion. The reason is the key to persuasion, and it is also fundamental.Therefore, our most persuasive method in the process of persuading others is to emphasize the biggest and most critical reasons. Napoleon Hill was invited to address the inmates of the Ohio State Penitentiary.As soon as he stood on the podium, he immediately saw that one of the audience in front of him was a friend he had known ten years ago—Mr. D.This person had previously been a successful businessman.After Napoleon Hill finished his speech, he met and talked with Mr. D, and found out that he was sentenced to twenty years in prison for forgery.After listening to his story, Napoleon Hill said: "I will get you out of here within sixty days." With a wry smile on his face, Mr. D replied: "Hill, I admire your spirit very much. But I have serious doubts about your judgment. Do you know that at least twenty influential people have tried to get me released by every method they know, but they have been unsuccessful. This is the way What can't be done!" Presumably it was because of his last words—"It's impossible"—that he challenged Napoleon Hill.Napoleon decided to prove to Mr. D that it could be done.Napoleon Hill returned to New York City and begged his wife to pack her bags for an indeterminate stay in Columbus, home of the Ohio State Penitentiary.Napoleon Hill had a "clear goal" in mind.The goal was to get Mr. D out of Ohio State Prison.He never doubted that Mr. D would be released.He and his wife came to Columbus and bought a high-end residence, as if they were going to live permanently.The next day, Napoleon Hill went to visit the governor of Ohio and told him the purpose of his visit. Napoleon Hill put it this way: "Mr. Governor, I have come to ask you this time to order the release of Mr. D. from the Ohio State Prison. I have good reasons and I beg you to release him. I want you to set him free immediately ...that's why I'm going to stay here and wait for his release, however long it takes. "While serving his sentence, Mr. D has introduced a correspondence course in the Ohio State Penitentiary. Of course you know this: He has influenced 1,728 of the 2,518 inmates in the Ohio State Penitentiary. They have all taken the correspondence course He has managed to get enough textbooks and course materials to keep the inmates up to date. Amazingly, he has done so without costing the state a penny. The warden and administrator of the prison told me He said he had been careful to follow prison rules. "Of course, someone who can influence more than 1,700 prisoners to study hard is definitely not a bad guy. "I am here to ask you to release Mr. D, because I hope you will appoint him as the principal of a prison school. This will give the 160,000 prisoners in the remaining prisons in the United States a good opportunity to learn about goodness. I am ready to take on the responsibility. All responsibility for him when he gets out of prison. That's what I'm asking. Before you give me an answer, I want you to know that I don't understand that if you release him and you decide to run for re-election, it may be Cost you a lot of votes." Mr. Vic Dunahy, Governor of Ohio, clenched his fists and his broad jaw showed determination.He said: "If this is what you are asking of Mr. D, I will release him, even if it costs me 5,000 votes..." The work of persuasion was easily completed, and the whole process It took no more than five minutes.Three days later, the governor signed the pardon, and Mr. D walked out of the prison gate.He was free again. Napoleon Hill's success in persuading the governor is inseparable from his careful consideration and careful arrangements.Napoleon Hill learned in advance that Mr. D had behaved well in prison and provided good service to 1,728 prisoners.When he founded the world's first prison correspondence school, he also forged himself a key to the prison gates.That being the case, why were the other big men who requested Mr. D's release on bail not successful in getting Mr. D released?They failed mainly because they asked the governor for insufficient reasons.When they asked the governor to pardon Mr. D, they used the reason that his parents were famous people, or that he was a college graduate, and he was not a bad person.They failed to provide the governor of Ohio with sufficient motivation to make him feel that he had sufficient reason to sign the pardon. Before meeting the governor, Napoleon Hill studied all the facts and imagined himself as the governor himself, and figured out what would be the best way to say it if he really was the governor. Can impress yourself.Napoleon Hill petitioned for Mr. D's release on behalf of 160,000 men and women in prisons throughout the United States.Because these prisoners can enjoy the benefits of the correspondence school founded by Mr. D.He never mentioned that he had famous parents, nor did he mention his previous friendship with him, nor did he mention that he was someone worthy of our help.All of these things can be used as the best reasons for asking him to be released on bail, but they don't make much sense when compared with the larger and more meaningful reasons below.The larger, more meaningful reason was that his release would be of great help to another 160,000 prisoners.Because after his release, these prisoners will enjoy the benefits of the correspondence school he founded.Therefore, Napoleon Hill relied on this biggest and most critical reason to succeed.