Chapter 32 Chapter 31 Get rid of the misunderstanding of eloquence: the right one is the best

In work and career, a leader who can speak is a leader who is good at speaking. Such a leader can express his thoughts, feelings and intentions accurately, freely and appropriately; he can make full use of his language and communication skills to lead others and make them The work went smoothly, both ways. Shi Daoyuan of the Song Dynasty recorded in "Jingde Biography of Lantern Records": "A traveler asked: 'Someone asked the Buddha to answer the Buddha, and asked the Dharma to answer the Dharma. I don't know if it is called a one-character method?" The master said: "Like a parrot learning human language. , I can’t talk to myself, because I have no intelligence.” There is an allusion of “parrot learning the tongue” in ancient times, in which the original meaning of learning the tongue is to imitate other people’s speech.The parrot's mouth is a metaphor for not having your own opinion, and following what others say.Just like a parrot learning how to speak from a human, it follows what others say and follows the scriptures.

As a leader, when you are waiting for your superior to arrange any tasks with words, you first listen to his instructions, and then convey his instructions to your subordinates according to the scriptures. Pass screwed up.Some leaders often take the speeches written by others and read them when they stand up to speak without any preparation.However, scripting can seriously damage a speaker's credibility for three reasons: 1. Scripting does not bring real security There is a difference between a prepared speech and an impromptu speech.The latter is certainly more believable, funnier, and sincere.It is difficult to read a speech like a normal speech.When reading a speech, there is little eye contact between the speaker and the audience, few gestures, no facial expressions, and a monotonous voice.In the end, the speaker cannot form a close relationship with the audience.They may walk away dissatisfied (“What a waste of time, I might as well watch it myself!”), doubting the speaker’s credibility and sincerity.

2. If you follow the scriptures, you can't do whatever you want Relying on lecture notes or detailed outlines often limits your flexibility.If you encounter an accident, you will suffer a lot.For example, if you're in a group discussion and it's your turn to speak, time is running out.This last-minute flexibility is not easy.Once the on-site questions are interrupted or the topic is diverted, it is usually difficult for the reader to regain his train of thought and continue with the original topic. 3. Your credibility could be damaged Regardless of the intention of the speech, the audience always sees is believing.Reading a speech to an audience is likely to disappoint them.They will realize that you haven't worked hard to prepare.As a result, your credibility may be damaged, your message will be lost, and your speech will be ineffective.

The cornerstone of successful communication is organizing your speech.If your presentation is well-organized, you will be able to speak freely and express yourself, and the rest will follow. Some leaders tend to subconsciously have a sense of superiority because of their higher status and age than others. They feel that they have more experience and know more than others, so they often tend to have a preaching tone when talking. Of course, preaching cannot be completely negated, and sometimes there are indeed correct advices, but these advices are often not accepted because they have a preaching tone that arouses the rebellious emotions of the interviewees.Since you want to persuade and educate others, you should pay attention to how to make others accept your opinions, so try to avoid being superior and arrogant, but to present vivid, vivid and vivid examples to make others accept you sincerely.

We see preachers who often say something like this: "You must know that I am not interfering with what you are doing." "I don't like to talk about this kind of thing now." Perhaps these words should not be said, but I think you will see the merit of them." In fact, the words said by the preacher should be the thoughts that come naturally from the heart when others accept the point of view.And if it is said by the preacher, no matter how much it is said, it is just empty preaching, and it will not achieve any effect, but it will arouse people's resistance.Therefore, as a leader, you must pay attention to your own words and deeds, and avoid empty preaching to your subordinates.

Mr. Zhang is a middle-level manager of a foreign-funded enterprise, and his income is quite generous among the working class.When Mr. Zhang talks to people after get off work, people feel that he is full of complaints: "I live a boring life every day, and I really don't want to work for foreigners." None, I can’t do the work I’m interested in, it’s really boring..." As long as such words come out of his mouth, he will talk on and on, and he can't stop for an hour.If you are full of sympathy, sincerely encourage him to engage in work that he is really interested in, to develop his own greater talents.He will never do it, and he will chatter and list you how other jobs are unsatisfactory, and he has 10,000 reasons why he cannot change jobs.

The first impression of people who love to chatter and complain is that they look like beggars begging along the street.When they meet people, they say "my fate is too bad" when they open their mouths, and "my work annoys me" when they shut their mouths.In fact, everyone has troubles in their lives, but what obligation do others have to waste time listening to your excessive nagging and complaints that can easily destroy your mood?So blah blah blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Grasping the main points and making a long story short is a magic weapon to win the audience's favor and a strategy for speaking.

The famous German poet and dramatist Bertolt ?Brecht hated long, monotonous meetings that were ineffective. Once, someone invited him to a writer's party and asked him to give an opening speech.Brecht was busy with official duties and did not want to participate, so he politely declined.Unexpectedly, the organizers did not give up. They tried every means until Brecht reluctantly agreed. On the day of the meeting, Brecht arrived on time and quietly sat in the last row.After the host saw it, he was invited to sit on the rostrum. At the beginning, the organizer gave a long congratulatory speech without any actual content to welcome the attendees, and then announced loudly and excitedly:

"Now, I invite Mr. Brecht to give an opening speech for our conference" Brecht stood up and walked quickly to the speech table.The reporters at the meeting hurriedly took out their pens and notebooks, and the cameras kept clicking. However, Brecht disappointed some people, and he only said one sentence: "I declare that the meeting now begins" From the above story, it can be seen that to make a long story short, the most important thing is to say the subject you want to talk about, and the rest of the polite words should be kept to a minimum or not, so that your audience will not feel upset.

Of course, the long story short has to be for a specific audience.If the other party is not very familiar with you, but you go straight to the topic at the beginning, it will definitely make people feel abrupt, and the effect can be imagined. Generally speaking, it is aimed at those who are more familiar with you, or in some more formal occasions, such as: business negotiations, conference venues, giving reports and speeches, etc.If you can grasp the main points and hit the nail on the head without so much lengthy nonsense, you will quickly attract the audience and let them quickly enter the topic, but if you just blindly make long speeches, you will always miss the point.

If the whole process of a leader leading the entire organization is compared to playing chess, then everyone has their own way of playing, but the most annoying thing is "regret chess". If you don't think carefully before making a move, you will get into trouble , I knew I had taken a wrong step. Changing orders from day to day and being indecisive, the analogy of regretting chess is perfect.Changing orders from day to day is actually a sign of the leader’s indecision. It not only weakens the power of orders, but also gradually weakens the authority of those who give orders.Similarly, if the order is changed too much, the prestige of the leader will be lost.No one is willing to obey this kind of leader who acts rashly and makes decisions regardless of consequences.It will be more and more difficult for such a leader to give orders or do work in the future, because you have made your subordinates at a loss and exhausted. Therefore, as a leader, you must pay attention to cultivating your firmness and prudence in your words and deeds in normal times, which is the so-called think twice before acting.In daily work, once a decision is made, don’t change it easily. Even if this decision is a little wrong, as long as it doesn’t have a serious impact on the overall situation, you should "make the mistake and make the mistake." , going his own way."Everyone makes mistakes. If the leader makes a big mistake but insists on carrying it out to the end, then the organization will be in danger. If you know nothing about everything, you will easily have a sense of oppression in your heart for fear of falling behind. This is also a common mentality of people.Driven by the competitive spirit of never admitting defeat or "not losing the battle", some ignorant leaders put on an air of ignorance in order to save their face. This kind of leader is not straightforward, even the simple things he has to show off, he seems to be very proficient in general principles, and he looks like he understands everything. His vanity is at work. But in life, some people seem ordinary and worthless at first glance.And after a serious conversation, they can be directly infected by their inner thoughts. This kind of people are often frank and straightforward in their dealings with others, and the vocabulary they use is often simple and clear.Friendship must be based on sincerity, and fancy and false remarks are only suitable for occasional play. The leader and the people around him move and attract each other, rather than force each other to accept their opinions.In order to force the other party to accept your opinion, you show off some remote and unpopular vocabulary to show that you are superior to others. From the perspective of the other party, they just feel that they are incompatible with you and cannot accept you. It is not difficult to see that the more expressive a person is, the less able he is to master everything.Leaders and subordinates should learn from each other's strengths, and don't be ashamed to ask others where they are better than themselves. Even if you are very good at something, you must show your strength with a very humble attitude, so as to convince others. Modern society can be said to be a highly complex information age, and the knowledge absorbed by everyone cannot contain everything.If you don't have an open-minded attitude in dealing with people, how can you be welcomed by everyone; a person who is self-righteous in everything will definitely not be respected by everyone. Because whether it is pretending to understand or really ignorant, it is also detrimental to the expansion of the scope of communication. There is Mr. N, the president of a small magazine that does not have a large scale. No matter what the occasion is, he always likes to put on airs, deliberately lowering his voice to show a solemn look.Not only that, but he always seems to know everything, a posture that makes people feel as if he is promoting himself. However, no matter how much he puts on airs, no matter how much suggestive words or English he expresses his opinions, he still cannot be recognized by others.And the magazines or weekly magazines published by this man will never be on the stage. The publications he publishes are always criticized as superficial miscellaneous knowledge, because he likes to judge everything.As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, the people next to him said: "Oh my God! It's about to start again." Then they gritted their teeth and endured the pain.This is no different from talking big and bragging.I don't have superior intelligence, but I pretend to know everything, which will be seen as a bluffing hypocrite. The most respectable person in social relationships is this kind of person who always pretends to understand. It's not ashamed to admit that you don't know something, but pretending to know in order to promote yourself, once the other party sees it through, it will make the other party feel distrustful and unwilling to associate with you. "There is a priority in hearing the truth, and there is a specialization in the art industry." Everyone has their own expertise, and it is impossible to be proficient in everything.Therefore, you must maintain a good attitude in interpersonal communication, and don't pretend to understand when you don't understand. In the eyes of ordinary people, leaders are people who can do anything. They can reach the moon in the sky and catch turtles in the sea.Since there is nothing you cannot do, there is nothing you cannot say.The small one promises to the individual employees: "Work hard, and you will be guaranteed a bonus of over 10,000 by the end of the year"; the medium one promises to the employees at the staff meeting: "This year, the sales growth will be doubled"; Yunxiao dared to brag about Haikou when the sales volume was less than 100 million: "It will surpass IBM in another 10 years."Anyway, the promise not to pay taxes is like picking something out of your bag, and it's as easy as pie. Just when the leaders talk big and smack their chests at every turn, their fulfillment seems to be out of line.When the time really comes, if you see that you can't cash it out, you will avoid the serious ones and avoid them if you can. "Emphasis on promises and less on fulfillment" is the chief culprit for the poor corporate social image, credit decline, internal conflicts, employee complaints and even loss.Commitment is a "double-edged sword". It can not only inspire people's confidence and encourage people's courage, but also discourage people's determination and courage. Therefore, it is a compulsory course for every leader to grasp the scale of commitment and fulfillment. Leaders make promises easily because they think promises are the easiest thing to do and the fastest way to motivate people to work hard.Effortlessly, he blurted out, and said what he wanted to say, as much as he wanted to say, not only the audience was excited, but also the leader himself was deeply infected, as if the exciting results were right in front of them, and people could reach them. But compared with the ease of promises, fulfilling them is not so easy and easy. Many people even use their whole life's efforts to fail to realize their most humble promises. This is the reality, and leaders are no exception. The higher the promise, the harder it is to fulfill it. Once the fulfillment fails, the greater the disappointment will be. When the disappointment exceeds a certain limit, it is despair.This means death.Compared with what I blurted out at the time, fulfilling my promise is not an easy task.At this time, the leaders will regret the Haikou they boasted at that time, and in the end they will be hard on themselves.Promises that cannot be fulfilled are the easiest way to make people go to the opposite side.Many times people's original expectations are not high, but they are stimulated by easy promises from the leaders, and the expectations suddenly rise. Although they know in their hearts that it is unrealistic, but people are like this, "it's easy to get up and hard to get off".When it's time to cash in, he only compares with his own expectations. As long as he can't meet them, he will be disappointed and lose confidence. He may never believe what you say next time.If this disappointment is too great, to the point of despair, then I am afraid there will be no other possibility except to leave. A more serious problem is that many leaders simply don't intend to deliver.The promise at the beginning was just to "play with you" and let you work hard. Now that your value is not great, there is no need to honor it.This kind of pragmatic view of crossing the river and tearing down the bridge is simply to make the company commit suicide, because your credit decline and the injustice to employees will affect all employees of the company. , no confidence in the leadership.If it was done by you, it must be out of helplessness, otherwise, I would definitely leave as soon as I get a chance.This kind of deliberate dishonesty will bring catastrophic harm to the enterprise, and no amount of effort or money can save it. Therefore, the leaders should not talk nonsense, talk about half the point, and leave some room for yourself and others. Don't talk about mouth addiction and hurt your credibility, otherwise the gain will not be worth the loss, and you will regret it for life.