Chapter 26 Chapter 25 Negotiating Demeanor

The truly valuable eloquence has no nonsense, and everything that is said is necessary. - Roshovko A leader with a good image and temperament, well-spoken, and personable manners can often bring the other party a pleasing feeling even at the negotiating table where they are facing each other, and even directly stimulate the interest of the other party and promote the success of the negotiation; on the contrary, an image A negotiator who is not good and speaks improperly, even if he repeatedly compromises and makes concessions, it is difficult to give a good impression to the other party, causing the other party to have various psychological doubts about the negotiation.The so-called negotiation begins with the image, which is what it says.Therefore, as a leader, if you want to have a good image in the negotiation, please pay attention to the cultivation of the following aspects:

(1) Meter As the saying goes: "A man depends on his clothes and a horse depends on his saddle." Appropriate clothing has a huge external impact on negotiators.The clothing of negotiators should mainly pay attention to the following issues: the dress must be neat and generous, tall and straight.In addition, clothes must fit your body shape.Don't be slovenly or dress too gorgeously or novelty, so as not to affect the mood of the other party too much and hinder the progress of the negotiation. (2) Posture Negotiators should have an upright standing posture, with flat shoulders, abdomen retracted, chest raised, eyes level, lips slightly closed with a smile on the face, shoulders drooping naturally, and hands crossed behind or in front of the body naturally.The upright standing posture reflects the negotiator's good psychological state, indicating that the negotiator is high-spirited, full of confidence and strength.

In addition, negotiators must have a dignified sitting posture.During negotiations, the most appropriate sitting posture is to keep your legs on the ground and your knees at right angles. When talking with the other party, you should lean forward properly. Don’t lean on the back of the chair as soon as you sit down. It is more appropriate to place or stack slightly. When a lady is seated, do not cross her legs, let alone spread her legs apart. This is very unsightly and lacks education. (3) walking posture Negotiators must also have a free and easy walking posture.The basic essentials of walking posture are to keep your shoulders balanced while walking, your eyes look straight, your jaw is slightly retracted, and you are smiling.The arms are straight and relaxed, and the fingers are naturally bent.Swing your arms naturally. While mastering the essentials of walking posture, you must also distinguish the identity of the guest and the host: when you are a guest, slowly enter the door, look around, and determine your direction and position; when you are a host, if the guest has arrived in the room, Walk through the door quickly, search the guest of honor with your eyes and extend your hand to the guest of honor to express apology, sincerity and cooperation.If you go to the room first, you can invite the guests to the table, and then you are seated to show courtesy.

(4) Conversation An excellent negotiator always speaks in a proper manner, neither blunt nor arrogant.On the contrary, if the verbal performance is eager for success, or submissive, it is easy to be controlled by others. Inappropriate words in the negotiation show disrespect for the other party, and even cause misunderstanding and friction.When speaking to others, the first thing you encounter is the problem of appellation.How to address each other, you must distinguish the object, respect the address habit of the other party, pay attention to the relationship between closeness, familiarity, age, gender, and mutual relationship differences. At the same time, you must pay attention to different occasions in the address to show respect for others.

Legend has it that after Zhu Yuanzhang became emperor, one of his childhood companions went to him, and because he was called by his nickname in public, he became angry from embarrassment and immediately beheaded his childhood companion.Therefore, for familiar people, do not use nicknames or nicknames commonly used in private in more serious occasions. (5) Intonation The ups and downs of the tone of the speech in the negotiation are to increase the content and effect of the language.If the tone is indifferent and flat, it will give people the feeling of repelling people thousands of miles away.If the tone of the conversation is naturally full of emotion, it is easy for both parties to eliminate tension, respond calmly while talking and laughing, and bring a satisfactory conclusion to the negotiation.In addition, the difference in tone can also reflect the negotiator's emphasis on the negotiation.

(6) Distance In negotiations, also pay attention to the distance of the conversation.If the conversation distance is too far, it is easy to show that the psychology of "struggling for profit" is greater than that of "cooperation and cooperation", indicating that the two parties have large differences and prominent contradictions.If the distance is too close, it shows that the negotiations between the two parties are relatively close, and it is easy to be humble and accommodating, and even cause heavy losses to oneself.Generally, the distance between conversations should be kept at least half a meter.

(7) Greetings Negotiators should also pay attention to the wording of the negotiation language, master greetings, opening, negotiation, closing and other terms, and use more polite expressions such as "hello", "thank you", "please cooperate more", and "goodbye".The language used is appropriate and tactful, avoiding the use of blunt and emotional words.A well-mannered negotiator tends to be poised and talkative rather than voluble or aggressive, all of which tend to be repulsive. In addition, the attitude of the negotiators directly affects the mood of both parties and the effect of the negotiation.If one party has a bad attitude or is too tough or even attacks the other party, the negotiation will often be deadlocked.If the attitudes of both parties are pertinent and friendly, it is easy to create a harmonious atmosphere for conversation.At the same time, the actions of the negotiators also reflect the effect of the negotiation.

In short, a good appearance enables the negotiators to take the initiative and lay the cornerstone for the success of the negotiation. The negotiator's appearance and demeanor are also closely related. A leader who is unrestrained, energetic, and full of vitality can easily make others overwhelmed by his extraordinary demeanor.At the same time, a negotiator with demeanor and temperament, his calm, confident, capable, methodical, neither overbearing nor humble, will to a certain extent make the other party dare not despise or reject psychologically.On the contrary, it is difficult for a negotiator with wretched appearance and unkempt appearance to win the negotiation by verbal eloquence.

If the negotiator has extraordinary temperament, that kind of breathtaking power will make the other party not dare to underestimate and despise psychologically.The unique temperament of a negotiator can be expressed through various body movements such as standing and sitting postures, walking, speaking postures or every frown and smile.The sense of authority exuded by natural and unaffected movements is like an invisible rope pulling the other party, making the other party attracted to you unconsciously. In the negotiation, the negotiator's steady pace, strong handshake, confident eyes and calm demeanor all show that the negotiator has a good temperament and demeanor.That kind of potential charm will make the other party feel "it is my honor to negotiate with you", just like the feeling of joy when meeting an evenly matched opponent on the court.The other party will hint and warn himself in his heart, "Don't be rude when negotiating with this person", so that he will become more confident in the negotiation.

The extraordinary temperament and demeanor of a negotiator, in addition to natural characteristics, also requires acquired knowledge and practice.This requires negotiators to have extensive knowledge, understanding of negotiation psychology and behavior, as well as rich negotiation experience and the ability to deal with complex situations in negotiations. expertise etc.This knowledge prepares sufficient prerequisites for negotiators to negotiate, which is also the quality requirement that a qualified negotiator should possess.With this knowledge, negotiators can walk to the negotiation field with confidence - confidence is also the expression of a negotiator's good temperament and demeanor.

In addition to the cultivation of knowledge, negotiators should also strengthen other aspects of cultivation and exercise to cultivate a good temperament and demeanor.For example, negotiators should participate in more social activities to master social etiquette and increase social experience.At the same time, actively sum up the lessons, find out the shortcomings and make corrections in a timely manner, which will help the negotiators to be more calm and graceful in the next negotiation. Of course, it is not enough for the negotiators to only notice these, but also to strengthen training in practice, such as training a steady walking posture and practicing a calm tone.In addition, negotiators can also strengthen this exercise by "simulating realization" in their minds, that is, try to conduct negotiation exercises in their minds, allowing the entire negotiation to be performed in their minds, or they can conduct "mental rehearsals" for the second negotiation , by imagining the place of negotiation, the look and reaction of the negotiator, every sentence that the negotiating parties may say, as well as the strategies and skills you use, and various situations that may occur in the negotiation, etc., predict one by one, and find out the appropriate one. Find a solution, so that there will be no difficulties in the negotiation, and at the same time, you can play freely and fully demonstrate your unique charm. In works on business negotiations, the term "strategy" often has two meanings: one refers to the principled, overall, and policy-based methods and measures of negotiations; means and countermeasures.The former can be called negotiation strategy, while the latter can be called negotiation tactics and skills.In fact, strategy is the combination of various tactics used in negotiations, and tactics are the various methods used to implement the strategy.Therefore, in practice, it is often difficult to tell whether a particular action is strategic or tactical.The strategies we will discuss below are in the sense of business negotiation tactics.Correct use of various strategies in negotiations can get twice the result with half the effort.The effect of negotiation depends to a large extent on the strategy of negotiation.There are too many strategies for negotiating eloquence. According to the status of both parties, they can be summarized into two categories: offensive strategy and defensive strategy. (1) Offensive strategy offensive strategy.When the negotiating party is stronger and in an active position, it can launch an offensive to force the other party to make greater concessions. ① Both soft and hard.Someone in the same negotiating team plays the role of a stubborn and stubborn person, while another person plays the role of a reasonable and good old man, that is, what we usually say is that one is a good guy and the other is a bad guy.The two sang together, like singing a double reed, indistinguishable from truth to reality, both hard and soft.This is a common and effective tactic for people to remove their psychological barriers due to their inability to resent the “nice person” speaking up for them. ②Reverse induction.In order to persuade the other party to accept a certain claim, a claim of the exact opposite can be put forward, which is the reverse negotiation method.Some negotiating opponents are always suspicious of each other, just like a couple who are going through a divorce.At this point, it is difficult to convince him of the honesty of his advice.For this reason, deliberately putting forward a diametrically opposite suggestion can instead induce the other party to accept the previous suggestion. ③ Deadline.In most negotiations, an agreement is often reached at or near the deadline for negotiations.It is also a negotiating tactic if a deadline is set at the beginning of the negotiation.Psychological experts point out that when a certain deadline comes, people will be forced to change their original opinions under the pressure of this deadline in order to solve the problem as soon as possible. It is often the case in negotiations that the other party is informed of the deadline at the beginning of the negotiation.The other party doesn't pay attention to this, but as the deadline approaches, the other party's inner anxiety will gradually increase and show impatience.On the day of the deadline, this anxiety and anxiety will reach its peak. (2) Defense strategy Defensive tactics are used when one party in a negotiation is in a passive situation. ① Preemptive strikes.When the opponent is in an absolute advantage, he will often put forward very harsh conditions.At this time, you can preemptively offer the conditions first, and use this as the basis for negotiation. ② Avoid the serious and take the light.The purpose of negotiation is to satisfy the interests of both parties.When the negotiation is deadlocked, you still have to stick to your position on important issues, but make concessions repeatedly on secondary interests, pretending to be invincible, and giving satisfaction to the other party. ③ Circumference contrast.If during the negotiation process, the other party is arrogant and oppresses you by advocating its own preferential conditions, you should use the circumflex contrast strategy to deal with it according to the detailed information you have. "Inhibit" is to belittle the other party's conditions, and "raise" is to exaggerate and highlight one's own advantages when appropriate. ④ Retreat in situ.There's a dance move where it looks like it's receding, but it's actually staying in place.This kind of no-loss concession can also be made in negotiations to satisfy the opponent. ⑤ False background.What to do when the opponent is strong and aggressive?You can set up a false backstage, reject the other party, and shift the responsibility to the false backstage.For example, tell the other party "the superior has instructions" or "the partner does not agree", etc., so that you can turn your situation from bad to good. ⑥ Slow down the troops to clear the siege.When the other party takes the initiative and one's own side cannot accept the other party's request for a while, leading to a stalemate in the negotiation, a strategy of delaying troops to clear the siege can be adopted.For example, announcing the adjournment means temporarily suspending the negotiations in order to buy more time to formulate coping strategies. This can often make the negotiations change from "there is no way out" to "the willows are dark and the flowers are bright and another village". ⑦Concession strategy.Deadlocks often arise in business negotiations, where the two parties are arguing endlessly over a certain issue.At this time, if no party is willing to make concessions, then the negotiation cannot be successful.Concession is the principle and strategy to ensure the success of negotiations. Concession in negotiations is not an easy task.For every concession, its impact on the overall situation should be considered. In negotiation, not all negotiators are masters, even if they are masters, it is impossible that there will be no failures. "A wise man will always make a mistake." For the "weak", as long as they grasp this point, they can be successful. Turn the weak into the strong and defeat the opponent. (1) Don't lose yourself first Ability comes from a strong personality, fierce competition, and most people really have more ability than they think.Therefore, the last thing you can do when negotiating is to admit that you are weak and underestimate your own strength; otherwise, you may lose yourself before negotiating. (2) Don't be intimidated by the other party's status We are often used to distinguishing between classes, and we often bring this attitude to the conference table.Remember that some experts are in disguise, some PhDs are outdated, and some authorities are not competent; status or power, but little or no courage to prove their convictions.With these complex examples of little people and big people, it is dangerous not to know clearly. Don't be fooled by statistics, precedents or regulations.Some decisions are made on the basis of old, irrelevant principles of precedent, so be skeptical and challenge them. (3) Don't assume the other person understands your weaknesses Assume that they don't know your weaknesses, and then test whether this assumption is true or false, because your situation may often be better than you think. (4) Don't expose your full strength too early It is more effective to discover and express the power of oneself than to expose all power at once.Because showing it slowly will strengthen the understanding of the other party and promote the possibility of changing opinions, which gives the other party considerable time to adapt and accept our point of view. (5) Don't be intimidated by the attitude of the other party If you allow the other person to abuse you by seeing you as worthless, he will.To assume that the unreasonableness shown by the other party is a kind of fox's cunning, so you might as well reprimand the other party loudly and face to face.Maybe there are people in the other company who are bothered by his unreasonableness just like you. (6) Don’t overemphasize your difficulties Do not dwell too much on the losses you may suffer and overemphasize your own difficulties.Because the negotiation has reached a stalemate, it will also limit the actions of you and the other party.Focus on the other person's problems; they are opportunities you can take advantage of. (7) Don't accept the initial price Many people often accept right away if the first offer is higher than their expectations.But according to the following two reasons, we'd better not accept the other party's first bid easily: first, the other party may make some more concessions; It seems that the bid is too low.In either case, it is a mistake to accept bids too quickly.Never assume that hitting the rocks on one issue will lead to a deadlock in the entire negotiation.If an agreement cannot be reached on a certain issue, you might as well put it aside temporarily and move on to the next issue. (8) Don’t focus on cost analysis Don't focus on cost analysis, value analysis is more important.Ask the other party to submit information on quality and price analysis.The more you ask for, the more you get. (9) Do not assume that the other party has benefited from the transaction Don't assume that you already know what the other side is getting out of the deal. This can make the negotiation you're in the middle of a crisis.Take it easy and say as clearly as possible that the deal will bring him short-term and long-term benefits. (10) Don’t talk non-stop Don't be eloquent, but pay attention to listening to the other party's speech, so that you will get unexpected results. (11) Don't forget that every negotiation is necessary Don't forget that the reason the other party sits at the table is because he believes he can gain something from the negotiation.You may find that this negotiation, no matter how small, is the main work in both parties' goals. (12) Don’t be self-satisfied with self-satisfaction It is often easier for us to see the stupid mistakes of others.Knowledge does improve bargaining skills.However, knowledge alone is not enough. The best way to deepen knowledge is to review after every discussion.Write down the mistakes you made on small cards, and occasionally look through the error file.Especially before making a big deal, you will find that the effort is worth it. In daily business communication, a small detail may change the whole direction of the development of things.In the ever-changing business negotiations, some inconspicuous details have more power that cannot be ignored.Therefore, during the negotiation, you must pay attention to your self-cultivation in details. Any inappropriate behavior will bring side effects and make you lose a chance of success. The world-renowned negotiator Herb Cohen pointed out: In an ordinary conversation between two people, the language transmission part is less than 35%, while the non-language component transmits more than 65% of the information.As a negotiator, you should have a solid knowledge of non-verbal communication.Mastering this knowledge will be of great help in gaining insight into the other party's psychological state. Try to figure out the other person by observing the words and expressions.You can carefully observe the behavior and speech of the other party to capture the clues of their inner activities; you can also try to figure out the other party's posture and expression to explore the psychological factors that trigger such behaviors. The following 15 aspects generally contain some very important details that should be paid attention to in business negotiations: (1) Don't interrupt in the middle.Interrupting and rushing to speak in the middle often arouses disgust from others.Talking eloquently and stealing the limelight will only arouse people's rebellious psychology. (2) Excessive self-expression.Business communication should be a coming and going, especially in the process of conversation. Monopolizing a conversation and overexpressing yourself, although it can be pleasant for a while, will bring huge losses. (3) Listen carefully.People who are good at negotiating are mostly silent.They are all masters of listening, and only speak a word or two at critical moments. (4) Retell the key points of the other party's conversation.When talking to someone, one of the most important things is to hear the purpose and emphasis of the other person's words. (5) Express your opinion in due course.Conversation must have back and forth, so express your opinions in a timely manner without interrupting the other party's conversation. This is the correct way to talk. (6) Affirm the value of the other party's conversation.In the conversation, you must find out the value of the other party with your heart and affirm it. This is a great trick to gain the other party's favor. (7) Rich topics must be prepared.In order not to silence the conversation and enhance communication, it is necessary to prepare rich topics.Rich topics come from rich knowledge, but remember that rich topics must not be used to show off to the other party, lest the other party feel disgusted, and you will lose more than you gain. (8) Accurate use of gesture language.It is difficult to create aura by speaking with your mouth alone, so you must speak with your mouth, hands, eyes, and heart. Only in this way can you melt and persuade the other party. (9) Negotiation tone should be low and clear.A clear, deep, and cheerful tone is the most attractive, and people with a high tone should try to practice becoming a low-key and charming voice. (10) Articulation is clear and paragraphs are distinct.I am most afraid of unclear words and unclear paragraphs when speaking. In this way, not only will the other party not be able to understand what you mean, but it will also bring a sense of oppression to others. (11) The speed of speaking is properly used during negotiations.There are low speed, medium speed and high speed when driving, and appropriate adjustments must be made according to the actual road conditions.In the same way, when speaking, the speed should be adjusted according to the needs of the actual situation. (12) NOTICE THE "PAUSE". "Pause" is very important in negotiation, but it should be used properly. "Pause" has the functions of sorting out one's own thinking, arousing the other party's curiosity, observing the other party's reaction, prompting the other party to reply, forcing the other party to make a quick decision, etc., which must be used properly. (13) The speaking volume is moderate.When two people are talking, the other party can hear your conversation clearly and naturally, and this volume is more appropriate. (14) Sentences and expressions cooperate with each other.Every word, every sentence has its meaning. It is not enough to express your meaning with words alone. You must also add your feeling for each sentence, as well as your expression and posture, so that your conversation will be vivid. moving. (15) There must be a certain level of wording when negotiating.A man's words in conversation affect the effect of his conversation as much as his appearance and dress.For some harsh words, try to pronounce accurately, because this will show your erudition and education virtually. In short, attention to detail is necessary for negotiators to capture information from the other party.Therefore, in addition to asking and listening, it is also very important to carefully observe and collect silent information from the other party.As an old song goes: "Small actions mean a lot." Regarding the way of negotiation, an expert summed it up in three words "peace is the most precious", and said: "A wise and calculating person should say no threats or insults to anyone, because neither can weaken The strength of your adversary. Threats will make them more cautious and negotiations harder; insults will increase their resentment and make them brood over you with words.” Negotiations are not like a game of chess.If the negotiation is purely a showdown, the negotiator will inevitably try his best to overwhelm the other party in order to achieve his unilaterally desired goal.Because the driving force that instigates people to negotiate is "needs". The needs of both parties and the satisfaction of needs are the common basis of negotiations, and the pursuit of common interests is a huge driving force for consensus.Therefore, in a truly successful negotiation, each party is a winner. Generally speaking, negotiation can be divided into two types: cooperative negotiation and competitive negotiation.No matter what type of negotiation it is, it is necessary to "heat up the stove" with "words" and pleasant expressions, so as to create a harmonious atmosphere, communicate with the negotiating parties, and establish a mutual trusting interpersonal relationship.Commonly used methods are: (1) Treat people politely An American went to Manhattan on a business trip and wanted to buy a newspaper at a newsstand, but found that he did not bring any change, so he handed over a 10-yuan bill and said to the newspaper vendor: "Change!" Unexpectedly, the newspaper vendor replied very unhappy: "Sir, I'm not here to give change when I'm commuting." At this time, the friend who was standing across the road wanted to try his luck in a different way of speaking.He came over to the newspaper vendor and said, "Sir, I'm sorry, I wonder if you'd like to help me solve this problem. I'm from another place and I want to buy a newspaper here, but I only have a 10-yuan bill. What should I do?" , The newspaper vendor handed him a newspaper without hesitation, and said friendlyly: "Take it, and give it to me when you have some change." The other party "needs to be respected" and therefore gets help from the other party. In the negotiation, even if you are stimulated by the other party’s impolite and extreme words, you should keep your head calm and try to express your opinions in soft and polite language.Try to avoid using some extreme words, such as "Is it okay? If not, forget it!" "It's settled like this, or it will be dropped!" These words will irritate the other party and lead to the breakdown of the negotiation. (2) Do not judge During the negotiation process, even if your opinion is correct, don't judge the opponent's behavior and motivation at will, because if the negotiation fails, it will cause confrontation and make it difficult to cooperate.If you find that the other party's calculation method for a certain statistical data is unreasonable, you will rashly comment and say: "Your calculation method for the growth rate is all wrong." The other party obviously finds it difficult to accept it.If you change the person of this sentence and change the way of expression, the effect will be quite different: "My statistical results are different from yours. This is how I calculated..." The other party will not feel disgusted after hearing it. The trick to this approach is to replace the "you" with the "I," and change the tone of judgment into one of self-feeling.In general occasions, you should try to avoid using "I" as the center of prompts, such as "I think..." "In my opinion..." "My opinion is..." "I think so... ", etc., the "I" at the beginning of each of the above sentences can be changed to the polite term "you". (3) Politely veto First of all, when you disagree with the other party's point of view during negotiation, don't directly use the word "no", which has a strong confrontational color.Even if the other party's attitude is rude, you should use affirmative sentence patterns to express the negative meaning in a pleasant manner.For example, when the other party is emotional and the wording is harsh, don't accuse and say: "It is unreasonable for you to get angry like this!" Instead, say with an affirmative sentence: "I completely understand your feelings." Suggesting "I don't agree with you to do this" makes the other party listen very pleasantly, and a good impression of you arises spontaneously. Secondly, when the negotiation is at an impasse, don't use any words to deny the other party, but say gracefully: "Under the current situation, we can only go so far." Third, sometimes in order not to offend the other party, you can properly use the "turning" technique, that is, first affirm and comfort, and then turn around, tactfully deny and clarify your own difficulties.Such as "Yes, but..." "I understand your situation, but..." "I fully understand what you mean, and I fully agree with your opinion, but..." This kind of seemingly promise is actually nothing accepted. The way of language expression embodies the ancient psychological tactic of "comparing one's heart to one's heart".It expresses sympathy and understanding for the other party, but what is won is the content contained after the "but". In negotiations, it is easy to fall into the following seven misunderstandings in terms of skills. (1) Showing the truth because of talking too much Some negotiators, especially those who talk a lot, appear very enthusiastic as soon as they sit down with their opponents. Very passive situation.Therefore, negotiators should remember not to disclose too much information. On the negotiating table, there is only a dispute over the distribution of benefits, and there is no "help" at all. Who is willing to pay tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands to "help" you?Of course, free financial aid is another matter. Sometimes it seems to be a casual question, such as whether a certain executive is going out today, whether the country has new regulations on the price of a certain product recently, etc. The speaker has no intention and the listener is interested, and it may become the counterattack of the other party. handle. (2) Compromise is just a strategy "Let's find a compromise." We use "compromise" as a strategy, which is just to say that there is such a strategy that can be used.In actual negotiation, some people blurt out without hard work or careful calculation, accepting the other party's so-called compromise plan, and then thinking about it is not appropriate, and then changing their words will become passive.Easily accept the other party's proposal that seems to be for your sake, and it is easy to fall into the other party's trap.When the other party proposes "Let's find a compromise method!" You should not rush to express your position on the proposal itself, but use rhetorical questions to find out what the actual content of the other party's "compromise method" is and whether it is beneficial to yourself, and then Make another decision.Be careful, easily accepting empty treaties is often the beginning of falling into a "trap"! (3) Being stunned by "honey" A negotiator who says good things "doesn't lose money" but is willing to be supported is very dangerous at the negotiating table.Once the other party grasps this weakness of yours, they will use "honey" to lull you into a daze, make you lose your due vigilance, and make unnecessary compromises and concessions. (4) Cause unnecessary conflict and confrontation Since everyone is negotiating for the sake of doing business and seeking common interests, unnecessary conflicts and confrontations should be avoided.But at the same time, we must not forget that negotiation is a dispute between the interests of both parties, and it is impossible to be free from conflicts and confrontations. To give up necessary conflicts and confrontations is sometimes to give up your due rights.If the other party asks you for a price and asks you to make a concession, you just agree to the price without saying a word and agree to make a concession. Of course, there will be no conflicts and confrontations in such negotiations, but how to protect your own interests?A good negotiator should try to avoid unnecessary conflict and confrontation, but never fear confrontation and conflict.In terms of the interests of the dispute, those who will not take half a step back easily will be respected by their opponents. (5) Threats to withdraw from negotiations prematurely Withdrawal from negotiations is a last resort.Withdrawal from the negotiation means the end of the deal between the two parties, and they have to choose a new trading partner from scratch.More importantly, it is likely to lose the best time to sell.Therefore, a good negotiator must learn to have endurance, that is, to grind out a result.Seeing that one's own goals may not be achieved, one loses composure and threatens the other party by withdrawing from the negotiation. This is a sign of weakness and incompetence. Compromise mentality. (6) admit death A businessman's mind should be quite flexible.If this road does not work, just go that road. In the negotiation process, it is very bad to admit death.The following situations are most likely to lead to a dead end: ①Eager for quick success, rash attitude. ②The other party's aggressive method adds fuel to the fire. ③ I can't save face, and my favor is greater than my interests. ④ The way of thinking is rigid, refusing to take a step back and think about it, and miss the opportunity. ⑤ Can't find the skill to withdraw freely. In contrast, if you have the habit of getting into a dead end, which category you belong to, you should aim at your own weaknesses and consciously struggle with yourself, so that you can improve your negotiation skills. (7) Ignoring the pursuit of the common good Some negotiators intentionally or unintentionally ignore the pursuit of common interests, or only consider the gains and losses of their own interests, or just act on their own will, so it is difficult to come up with good ideas.The purpose of negotiating in order to seek common interests is the basic starting point for every negotiator to use his skills.Based on this basic point, it is possible to actively think of ways to promote the transformation of the deadlock in the negotiations when the negotiations are frustrated. To negotiate, you must first understand the real needs of the other party, and then solve the problem through negotiation.Whether it is the individual needs of the other party or the needs of the group they represent, they all play a crucial role in the success of the negotiation.Therefore, you must use various techniques and methods to obtain a variety of information in order to truly understand what the other party is thinking and seeking. Asking questions is an important means of negotiation. Asking while listening can attract the other party's attention and guide his thinking direction; he can obtain information that he does not know, and try to let the other party provide information that he does not know; he can convey his feelings and arouse the other party's attention. Thinking; can control the direction of the negotiation and make the topic tend to the conclusion. Asking questions skillfully is a sign of eloquence.How can I ask cleverly?The first is to choose the appropriate question form. There are several types of questions in the negotiation: (1) Restricted type This is a very purposeful questioning method.It can help the questioner to obtain a more ideal answer, and reduce the answer that the questioner rejects or the questioner does not want to accept.The characteristic of this form of questioning is to limit the scope of the other party's answers, and to consciously and purposefully allow the other party to answer within the limited range. (2) Mild transformation This kind of question is to use a tactful method and tone to ask the other party in an appropriate place.This kind of questioning is to make a false question without knowing the reality of the other party, and throw a "stone for asking the way", so as to avoid the embarrassing situation caused by the other party's rejection, and to find out the reality of the other party, so as to achieve the purpose of asking questions .For example, one party in the negotiation wants to sell his product, but he does not know whether the other party will accept it, and it is not easy to directly ask the other party whether he wants it, so he tentatively asks: "Is the function of this product good? Can you comment on it?" for a while?" (3) Enlightenment type This is a questioning method that makes a lot of noise, wants to be correct and makes mistakes, and uses the past to explain the present, in order to inspire the other party to think about a certain question and give the answer that the questioner wants. (4) Attack type The direct purpose of this kind of questioning is to defeat the opponent, so this kind of question is required to be capable, clear, and hit the opponent's vitals. (5) Negotiation type If you want the other party to agree with your point of view, you should try to ask the other party in a negotiating tone, such as: "Do you think it is appropriate to write this way?" This kind of question is easier for the other party to accept.Moreover, even if the other party cannot accept your conditions, the atmosphere of the negotiation can still maintain harmony, and the two parties still have the possibility of cooperation. Asking questions should let the other person know in advance what you want to get out of the conversation.If he understands your intentions, he can answer in a targeted manner, and you can grasp a lot of information.但提问切忌随意性和威胁性，从措辞到语调，提问前都要仔细考虑。提问恰当，有利于驾驭谈判进程；反之，将会损害自己的利益或使谈判节外生枝。 了解提问的方式后，还应注意提问的方法： ①引起对方的注意。这种类型的提问，其功能在于：既能引起对方的注意，但又不会使对方焦虑不安。 ②可获得需要的信息。这种提问往往都会有一些典型的前导字词，如“谁”、“什么”、“什么时候”、“哪个地方”、“会不会”、“能不能”等。在发出这种提问时，谈判者应事先把自己如此提问的意图示意对方，否则，很可能引起对方的焦虑。 ③借提问传情达意。如“你真的有信心在这里投资吗？”有许多问话表面上看来似乎是为获得自己期望的消息和答案，但事实上，却同时把自己的感受或已知的信息传达给了对方。 ④引起对方思绪的活动。通过提问能使对方思绪随着提问者的问话而活动。这种问话常用到的词语有“如何”、“为什么”、“是不是”、“会不会”、“请说明”等。 ⑤做谈判结论用。借着提问使话题归于结论。如“该是决定的时候了吧？”“这的确是真的，对不对？” 任何形式的谈判都是以双赢为基础的，否则便构不成真正有意义的谈判。因此，成功的谈判，不是一方全盘皆赢，另一方全盘皆输，而是双方各有所获。在谈判中，尽管有“你死我活”的较量，但谈判本身却不是“谁死谁活”，而是达到双方利益的共享。即使一方不得不做出很大的让步，整个结局也是各有所获。 总之，谈判是一种合作，必须追求共同的利益。 在一场成功的谈判中，每一方都是胜者。如果一方机关算尽、漫天要价、逼人太甚，势必两败俱伤，导致合作的破裂。因此，必须把谈判看做“合作的利己主义”，才能使谈判成为一种创造更为有利的竞争环境的手段。 因此，在谈判过程中，谈判者要想取得成功，一定要记住：当止则止。当你接近最大需求时，必须清醒冷静，当收则收，绝不能抱着“再多要一点”的心理，把对方赶尽杀绝。要是把对方逼到山穷水尽的万丈悬崖之上，那么你所做的一切努力也都会前功尽弃。因为既然是谈判，双方必定各有所获，只一味贪求一方的利益，就会破坏合作的基础，协议必然会得不到贯彻，甚至达不成任何协议。 如果在谈判过程中，双方始终禀持着相互了解、信任的原则，其最终结果，是使双方在一定程度上都得到满足，那么，每一方的对手就不是谈判的另一方，而成了双方共同遇到的困难。也就是说，要把双方的冲突看做是一个有待解决的困难，这样可以使双方的关系更加紧密。有时候谈成的价码虽然没有达到预期的要求，但在道义上，为以后的谈判、扩大合作奠定了基础。 在谈判开始时，应当适当地说明你的状况，请求对方的帮助。这种话语充满合作性，能解除对方的对立情绪；同时，也应该试着从对方的角度来看问题，在答复对方的时候，避免使用绝对的语气，使你们的摩擦减到最低程度。 对于一时无法调解的矛盾，在互相信任的前提下，多提几个方案，直到双方的需要都得到某种程度的满足。在遇到冲突时，要耐下性子试着了解双方为什么会造成冲突。如果能找出彼此的差异点和原因，便有可能打破僵局。 任何时候都不要当众斥责对方，即使你是正确的，也要避免伤害他人。一定要避免情绪的对立。当一些问题无法解决时，你应该适当地做出一些妥协，或友好地提议双方都慎重考虑，下次再议。 在谈判中常常可以听到这样的话：“我顺便提一下……”表面上看，他想说的这件事是偶然想起来的，无足轻重。但是有经验的谈判者都知道，十有八九，这是一件十分重要的事，是不可等闲视之的。与此相反，当对方用“老实说……”“说真的……”“坦白地说……”这样一些动人的词句来开头时，其实是故作姿态。这是一种谈判的艺术。 谈判桌上虚虚实实、真真假假。一个成功的谈判者就要注意用心倾听对方的话，注意他的措辞、表达方式、语气和声调。只要对方有口说，你就要留神听，从那些看似无意的词句中尽量捕捉有用的信息。 但是，光做到这一点还远远不够。除了注意捕捉有声信息之外，还要仔细观察对方发出的无声信息。人的“肢体语言”往往会传达出许多微妙的信息，老练的谈判家不会让对方逃过自己的眼睛和耳朵，而是会从对方的手势、脸部表情一直看穿对方的心理。 技巧一、学会如何否定对方 “不行”、“不对”、“不可以”之类的字眼应该尽量少用。需要表示否定的时候，可以说：“在目前的情况下，我们最多也只能做到这一步了。”如果对方过于冲动、有失分寸，你不但不要被他的情绪所影响，反而要更加冷静地说：“我完全理解你的感情。”这句话使对方听了，既明白他自己过了头，又对你心生感激。 谈判是为了争取利益，所以应该尽量争取。但根据特定的情势，做出必要的让步也是明智之举。比如，当双方因价格问题而僵持不下时，如果卖方做出灵活姿态，把价格适当压低一点，买方见卖方有诚意，也让一步，增加订单计划，于是达成交易，于双方都有利。如果一方死守自己的条件不放，而对方又无法接受，谈判只能陷入僵局，对双方都没有好处。可见，有限的让步，到最后不一定吃亏，它是打破僵局、达成协议的一种方法。一切的谈判都是以妥协为结局的，这是一个必然。 技巧二、巧妙地施加压力 在谈判中施加压力，是凭自己的实力向对方攻击的一种策略，是双方实力的一种较量。施压包括提出要求、拒绝要求、拒绝让步、制造僵局、退出谈判等。即使是施加压力，也不可咄咄逼人，而要不露痕迹，这才是炉火纯青的高手。要将施加压力的行为说成是客观的必然或我方的不得已，而不是我方愿意采取的行动。要用叙述的口气，而不是用指责的口气；要用正面的暗示语气，而不要从反面威胁。比如说，“如果贵方在价钱上能够做出让步，我们达成协议的可能性要大些”，就比说“如果贵方不在价钱上做出让步，那么就别想达成协议”要好得多。 技巧三、以弱击强 以弱击强也是谈判的一个策略，一个老手在谈判桌前的惯用手法是：将自己表白成一个处处受节制、不能作出最后决定的人。具体说来，他们常常采取装聋卖傻的行为，一开始就向对方说明“我对此种业务还不在行……”、“这件事还得请示我们经理”、“我们只有这些钱，你们看着办吧”之类的话，是为了试探深浅、不露痕迹，以争取主动，取得谈判的最后胜利。 谈判桌上的对手可能千差万别，无论你经验如何丰富，也很难做到万无一失。因此，对于各种不同的谈判对象，要有一定程度的了解，才能增强自己取胜的把握。 （1）坦率的对手 这种对手的性格使得他们能直接向对方表示出真挚、热烈的情绪。他们总是兴致勃勃地开始谈判，不断发表见解，乐于以这种态度取得经济利益。 在磋商阶段，他们几句话就能把谈判引向实质阶段。他们十分赞赏那些同他一样坦率行事的人。他们自己就很精于用坦率获得最直接的利益，同时，希望别人也能像他们一样直接。对付这样的对手，应该适时保持沉默，可以显示谈判的真诚，但决不能跟着他们的套路往下走。 （2）冷静的对手 他们在谈判的寒暄阶段，表现出沉默。他们从不激动，讲话慢条斯理。他们在开场陈述时十分有条有理，没有丝毫破绽。他们擅长提建设性意见、作出积极的决策。在与这种人谈判时，应该对他们坦诚相待，保持足够的冷静，以其之人之道还治其人之身。 （3）死板的对手 这种人的谈判特点是准备工作做得完美无缺。他们直截了当地表明希望做成的交易，准确地确定交易的形式，详细规定谈判中的议题，然后把所有涉及议题的报价表确定下来。他们对报价表中的价格非常明确和坚定。死板的人不太热衷于采取让步的方式，讨价还价的余地大大缩小，与之打交道的最好办法，应该在其报价之前即进行摸底，阐明自己的立场，应尽量提出对方没想到的细节，先行出击。 （4）热情的对手 这类人的特点是做任何事诚意、信心都足，唯独缺乏细致的准备和冷静的分析。只要不被其热情的表象（即便是发自内心）所迷惑，细致分析谈判内容的每个角落，你总会找到破绽，攻破他的防线。 （5）霸道的对手 也许是由于具有自身的优势，这种人十分注意保护其在对外经济贸易以及所有事情上的垄断权。在谈判议程和目标上喜欢用许多规定来限制对方。与这种人打交道，一般应做到：准备工作要面面俱到，随时准备改变交易形式，即便妥协也不屈服，并且在细节上多下工夫。 （6）犹豫的对手 在这种人看来，信誉最重要。他们特别重视开端，往往会在交际上花很长时间，其间也穿插一些摸底。经过长时间的、广泛的、友好的会谈，彼此了解后，可能会达成双方共同接受的协议。与这种人做生意，首先要防止对方拖延时间和打断谈判，还必须把重点放在制造谈判气氛和摸底阶段的工作上。一旦获得了对方的信任，就可以大大缩短报价和磋商的时间，尽快达成协议。 （7）爱面子的谈判对手 这种人最好对付，总是有意无意希望对方把他看做是大权在握和起关键作用的人，喜欢对方夸奖和赞扬。如果送个礼物给他，即使是一个不太高级的礼物，都有良好的效果。 （1）只有在非谈不可时才谈判 商业上有一个原则，无论你是买主或卖主都应记住：如果你是卖主，当对方迫切需要时，再与他讨价还价，尽量让自己摆出一种不会讨论价钱的绅士态度；对于买主，你应让对方知道，目前唯一重要的问题莫过于价钱最低廉。尽可能地保持这样一种态度是重要的，它是讨价还价的第一步。 努力使自己处于一种没有必要进行讨价还价的地位。如果你能不进行讨价还价而得到你所想得到的一切，而且你也确信那就是你所能得到的一切，那么你就把所要求的条款说出来并坚持不让步。决不要因你想做买卖的一时冲动而背离这一立场。即使你想做买卖，也得让他们感觉到只能在枝节问题上交涉，核心问题是不可谈判的。 当然，这一点在实际中要真正做到却不容易，我们并不能完全依靠讨价还价就达到目的，事实是我们要常常经历讨价还价的各个历程，但是，牢记它的重要性是必要的。连修理水管的工人都知道，商议价钱最适当的时刻便是地下室正在大闹水灾的时候。总之，不到迫不得已的情况，尽量不要与你的对手讨价还价。 （2）除非已有充分准备，否则不要和对方讨论任何问题 通常，谈判双方各就各位后，最初的一刻钟内便可以确定谈判的总体框架。但谈判不可能在最初一刻钟内结束。后面的谈判将一轮接着一轮，花在辩论和争执上的时间很长。因此，这就要求谈判者必须事先有所准备。 那些进行了详尽的调查研究并作了充分准备的谈判人员，他们的亮相将分外有力。因为他们了解自己要达到的目标，也能确立对方的期望。如果对方不懂得这种博弈，或不知道当他还处在中间位置上时已被卷入谈判之中，那么他们的地位将是极其脆弱的。 总之，如果你没有准备好，就不要进入谈判。要抗拒“尝试”的诱惑，因为，实际上没有未卜先知的聪明人。尽一切可能了解对方，他的境况如何，问题在哪里，谁是作决定的人。要和有决定权的人谈判，不要和其他低级人员讨价还价。 （3）提出高要求时也应有退让 谈判成功的基本条件是互利互惠，因此，在提出高要求时也应有退让。很难想象，一项交易只有某一方获利，而另一方亏损，或双方都亏损，而交易却能成功。即使某一方在经济上赔钱，那么，他肯定在另一方面有所企图，这种“另有所求”也是一种利益。不会有人在商场上不求利的。永远不要忘记，对方坐在会谈桌边与你商谈的原因是他相信可从谈判中获得利益。因此，互利互惠是商业谈判中必须遵循的原则。 在实际谈判中，有时提出一些高要求并坚持不松口的确是值得的。但有时你却必须退让，因为你必须意识到，获利是你谈判的目的。你的要求必须是有限的，它存在一个极限值。如果仅仅考虑自己一方，获利越多越好，而把要求定得过高，则可能使谈判陷入僵局，对方会撤退，把你的要求扫到一边去，因为他从你这里毫无利益可言，或获利极少。如果讨价还价带有冲突性，即在这种讨价还价中一方的赢利意味着另一方损失，那么，由这种讨价还价引起的僵局可能会导致一系列严重的后果。 （4）不要太早泄露全部实力 Know yourself and the enemy, and you will never be imperiled in a hundred battles.相信所有的谈判者都明白这个道理。实际上，可以说所有的谈判者都是尽力这样做的。谈判中，要求我们在谈判前有所准备，要清楚地了解自己和对手的各方面情况，才可能常胜不败。但是，我们也要认识到，我们的对手也在做着同样的工作。常识告诉我们：对方对我们知道得愈少，情势对我们就愈有利。因此，在了解对手的同时，我们还有一件很重要的工作要做，那就是保守自己的某些秘密，不要让它泄露或过早地泄露，以致让对方知道自己的全部实力。 下面的措施可帮助减少商业秘密泄露的危险，不过危险并不会完全消失。 ①选择守口如瓶、稳重的人参加商谈。 ②强调沉默的重要。 ③不要让太多的人参与，而且只要让他们知道必要的部分就可以了。 ④不需要知道的人，尽量不要让他知道。 ⑤提供给对方的资料应尽量减少，除非为了策略上的运用，否则减至最低程度。 ⑥要将资料妥善保管，锁起来并派人看管。 ⑦有时取得资料最简便的方法，是通过安全人员或其他雇员获得，所以，要防备这种方式的渗透。 ⑧最后的底价只能让某几个人知道。 （5）不可强求和恋战 对于自己喜欢而无法获得的东西，总会产生强烈的获取的意念，这是一般人本来就有的一种倾向。但对于谈判者而言，虽然对某件事或某个物品有强烈的获取欲望，也不应表露得过于明显，更不可强求。否则，你的谈判力量将大大削弱，并为此付出代价。 在此，谈判者应该做到的是，对于对方的提案，不要表现得很热心，只要让对方感到你对此有兴趣即可，这会增加你的谈判力量。因为，你的目的是让对方自然而然地迎你而来。但是，如果你的立场软弱，应先缓和一下两者之间的冷漠感，直接与对方见面，并且掌握住双方之间亲切的人际关系。 （6）向对方施加压力要有分寸 为了扭转谈判中的不利局面，促使对方降低原先的要求，或使对方对于所讨论的问题产生足够的关心，我们往往需要施加适当的压力。在向对方施加压力时，一定要注意一点，那就是，你向对方施加的压力越大，对方所反击过来的抵抗力也越大。对方的抵抗力如果一再积累，一旦超过了限度，就会产生感情上的冲击反应，这其中即使只有微弱的动机也会导致谈判破裂。所以，在施加压力时，掌握分寸是十分重要的。 一般来说，向对方施加压力有三个重要的原则： ①交易时必须不断地保持竞争的势头，到某一阶段，替代方案越多越好。 ②经常在不使对方产生敌意的情况下，有人情味地、温和地施加压力，使对方慢慢降低他的优势地位。 ③削弱对方的地位。为达到这个目的，你必须努力操纵对方。最直接的方法就是不断地告诉对方：如果拒绝按你的条件交易的话，问题将会十分严重。 （7）“以战取胜”的谈判策略只在特定条件下使用 “以战取胜”的谈判，是一方牺牲另一方的利益来取得自己一方的胜利，其目的在于打败对方。 采取这种方法的危害性在于： ①失去了对方的友谊； ②失去了将来与对方开展更大业务的机会； ③遭到对方的反击中，甚至首先发起进攻的一方会被打败； ④由于对方被迫屈从，所以不大可能积极履行协议。 以战取胜的危害是如此严重，因而谈判高手极少使用。但也不尽然，在以下两种情况下，争斗不会造成太大的损失。 ①一次性谈判。以后双方不会再遭遇，因而也就没有必要担心长远的买卖关系问题。 ②买卖一方比另一方实力强大得多。比如，一个实力雄厚的垄断者，他可从彼此相互竞争的任何一家供应者中买进某种商品，或是政府权力机构与私人企业之间的交易。 （8）要打破僵局，可变换交易形式 谈判遇到僵局，不能正常进行下去，如何打破僵局也就提上了你的日程。形成僵局有很多原因，价格上不能协调就是主要原因。其他还可能涉及一些双方尊严、个人权限等方面。抓住问题的症结后，可采取一些方法对症下药，或采用一些起辅助催化作用的措施。然而，打破僵局的人最好不是你，因为此时主动伴随的可能就是一些损失。 如果只能由你来解决问题时，你不妨试试以下几种方法： ①找一个调解人。有些不适合你说的话，你不能打通的环节，这个中间人往往能凭借他的特殊身份轻易说到、做到。 ②改变交易形式，把竞争的形式改为协作的形式。扩大范围，把双方的领导、工程技术人员和管理人员吸收进来，共同想办法解决问题。这样，可能会使双方原定的计划遭到很大的破坏，但往往可以取得好成绩。 ③更换商谈人员。这个新人员有机会抹杀以前所做的让步等，但有利的一点在于，新人员提出新的建议或让步，也许会是一个扭转僵局的好开端。 ④改期再谈。这是一种“回避策略”的运用，暂时绕过僵局，待双方都收集到更多的资料或有了更合适的方案、安排等，再重新回到商谈中来。 ⑤使谈判升级。安排高一级的会议或热线电话交谈。这种时候，高级人员的参与，一般情况下会给谈判加温，领导效应在关键时刻总是很起作用的。 ⑥做一些微小的修改。比如，改变合同的形式、措辞和写法、改变计算方法，对购销商品的一些规格、条件作适当的修改。这些不会造成多大损失的修改，为你带来了好处。表明你已经积极行动以挽救这笔生意了，下面就要看对方的了。 ⑦给对方一些选择的余地，多为他提供几个方案。一个新的方案便很可能成为一轮谈判的新的