Chapter 24 Chapter 23 Speech Secrets of Middle-level Leaders

Wouldn't it be wiser if you merely made a suggestion and let the other person draw his own conclusions, making him feel that the idea was his own? — Dale Carnegie But all leaders pay great attention to their image in public, mainly out of the need to maintain their own authority.This need is made stronger and even indispensable by being publicly tested.If a middle-level leader's opinion embarrasses the superior, even if he has good intentions, it will damage the superior's prestige.It will also affect the decision-making power and influence of superior leaders in various aspects such as decision-making and supervision.

Once the prestige of the superior leader is damaged, the subordinates will have more doubts when dealing with the leadership orders, which will inevitably reduce the effectiveness of the superior leadership power, so as a middle-level leader, the situation will become more serious when performing the tasks of the superior. bad.Therefore, as a middle-level leader, you must understand that maintaining the authority of your superiors is to maintain your own work authority as a middle-level leader. A certain company recruited a group of new employees. The boss held a staff meeting to welcome the new employees. In order to show the importance of the new employees, the boss decided to call the names in person.

"Huang Ye (hua)!" The audience was silent, and no one answered. The boss read it again. A new employee stood up and said timidly, "My name is Huang Ye (ye), not Huang Ye (hua)." There was a low chuckle from the crowd.The boss's face was a little unnatural. At this time, Director Yang of the Human Resources Department immediately stood up and said, "Mr. Zhang, I'm sorry, I was negligent and made a mistake in the list." "It's too sloppy, pay attention next time." The boss waved his hand and continued to read. Not long after, the employee named Huang Ye was fired, and Director Yang got a further promotion.

In fact, Director Yang did not make a mistake in the list, but he resolved the embarrassment for the superior in time, maintained the superior's speech mistakes, and at the same time maintained the superior's image, so he would naturally be reused by the superior. Although the above example is not very appropriate, it is not representative.But in modern society, the facts it reflects are universal. Originally, in daily interpersonal communication, people pointing out each other's faults should be the same as praising each other's achievements, which is gratifying.But praising a person's accomplishments in practice, even if it goes too far, never invites retaliation.However, to point out a person's fault, don't say that the accusation is too much, as long as there is a slight hint or just touch the appearance of this fault, it may cause dissatisfaction and even retaliation.Not to mention pointing out the fault of the boss.

In a modern enterprise, as a middle-level leader who is in the same boat as the company, and a subordinate who is loyal and highly responsible to the superior, once he finds that the superior has made a mistake in his work, if he turns a blind eye and takes a prudent attitude, he will allow the superior to continue to make mistakes. , that is an absolute dereliction of duty, and it will also lose the trust of the leader in you.If you confront each other regardless of the occasion or method, even if you have the best intentions, you will inevitably be alienated by the leader. Therefore, when pointing out the mistakes of superiors, we must stand on the standpoint of maintaining the leadership authority, and be careful not to hurt the leader's face in front of everyone.It is best to have a face-to-face conversation with the leader alone, and the place for the conversation should not be chosen in an open place, because the two parties can often exchange views in a calm and orderly manner without the presence of others.In this way, the leader accepts your opinion without losing face, and he is psychologically balanced.The last thing to note is that once the leader accepts your opinion and improves his work, unless he announces it publicly, it is best not to mention to anyone that this is the result of your suggestion or correction.

(1) Enthusiastic boss If you meet a boss with a bold personality, it should be said that it is a matter of gratitude.As long as you can show your ability and outstanding work performance, there is absolutely no need to worry about not having opportunities for development.When talking to such a superior, maintain a flattering normalcy and adopt a tone of closeness. When talking with such a leader, try to be as direct and clear as possible, because such a person hates procrastination the most. (2) Arrogant boss Arrogance means "putting on airs". Smart people must understand that it is only a disadvantage to go against the boss.However, it is also impractical to adopt a "flattering" policy, because it depends on your luck.Most people like to wear a high hat, so it is not difficult to please the boss.The problem is, the power of big companies often changes rapidly, and it is not worthwhile to blindly flatter your boss.So, do you want to be a person who "obeys what you say"?In fact, as far as you are concerned, it is better to stick to your post and be an outlier than flattering and degrading your personality when dealing with an arrogant superior.In the process of communication, you must keep the distance between you and do not say flattery words, because arrogant people tend to look down on those who are self-deprecating and self-deprecating, and they often have a respect for people who always maintain their dignity .

(3) Centralized boss In addition to finding fault with the work of subordinates, the most annoying thing about totalitarian bosses is that they will act like tyrants and even intervene in your private affairs.For example, you are not allowed to have close contacts with your subordinates, you are not allowed to adopt a leadership method that leads to the same goal as him, and you are not allowed to act independently without reporting even a small matter, and so on. To deal with such a leader, there are two diametrically opposed methods. One is to follow orders without overstepping the threshold; the other is to stand firm and never be cautious.Although the former is mediocre, it can be maintained for a long time, but the disadvantage is that it is not easy to be reused. It will always be like a shadow of the superior, following the same steps, and it is difficult to develop beyond the superior; the latter depends entirely on personal ability, because often centralized leaders It is easier to appreciate subordinates who are similar to yourself, and at most you like subordinates who follow suit, not the objects he admires. If you can complement them in terms of ability, the effect can be imagined.

(4) Lazy boss Hard work and outstanding performance have only one purpose, hoping to be appreciated by higher-level leaders.But what should you do if you encounter a boss who is lazy and likes to fight for credit?It is only a negative way to retreat and find another job, and starting from scratch is tantamount to fighting and re-arranging, which is a waste of time.At the same time, in the long run, it is obviously not conducive to your development to shrink back when encountering difficulties. Generally speaking, when this kind of boss receives a major task, he must hand it over to you without thinking about it.When the task is complete, he will take it over again, explain to his superiors, and wipe out your hard work and sweat, and treat everything as the result of his own efforts.

At this time, of course, you can't expose him face to face and reason with him, but this will only put you in a disadvantageous position, and higher-level leaders will also maintain his authority and ignore you.The ideal way is to ignore the behavior of such a leader, and still do everything well to improve one's ability.Be clear, such a leader cannot always stand in front of you, as long as you are capable enough and your goals are ambitious enough. (5) Bosses who are inconsiderate of their subordinates You have a boss who bows down when he sees a high and steps down when he sees a low. He lacks a sense of responsibility in doing things, does not understand his subordinates, and is suspicious, which makes you full of complaints.Remember, you must never complain to colleagues in other departments, pointing out the faults of your boss, the so-called "family ugliness should not be spread outside".Besides, what can these colleagues do to help?You're giving them a great talking point, and that's only going to escalate things, never do you any good!Think about it, would a boss use a middle manager to backstab his boss?Even if you are a partner, you can't confide a complaint, so as to avoid giving people the opportunity to inform people in vain because of the stake.Even if the other party complains first, you'd better keep silent.

So, how do you vent your dissatisfaction?Tell your boss directly!But first analyze the other person's personality and anticipate their reaction.For those who are conservative in thinking and have strong self-esteem, don't get straight to the point, you can only tell them in a tactful way.If the other party is more open and broad-minded, you might as well make an appointment to express your thoughts frankly one by one. I believe it will not be difficult to find a solution. (6) Bosses who do not distinguish between public and private Many leaders like to play with power, regardless of public and private.It just so happens that you meet such a boss who often asks you to do his personal affairs for him, which makes you very angry.All you have to do is to reject him tactfully, but on the premise of not affecting your future.

Remember to say "No!" For example, if your boss asks you to write a book report for his daughter, you must be very unwilling, so tell him: "I'm sorry, I can't help you." If he asks you to write a book report after get off work If you do it, things will be easier to do, and you can come up with such a reason: "Because I have an appointment tonight, I can't be late!" The next day, he asks you to do it again, you can find a suitable reason, again and again, again and again, He will retreat in the face of difficulties, but you can't.If this happened during working hours, you have more reasons, saying: "I still have three reports to write, and I must finish them today!" or "I have never written a book report, let alone I have a big report." Lots of work." (7) A very deep boss in the city It's hard to get along with a boss who never knows how close or how far away you are.This kind of leader, although he can always keep silent about the right and wrong of his subordinates, but his heart is very active, which is extremely difficult to guard against, or even nowhere to guard against. It is better to have no defense than no defense at all. As long as you take your work seriously and do everything responsibly, you will not be ignored, and you will not be jealous or coldly treated by such a boss. You know, we work for ourselves more often and care too much about others, only to lose ourselves. According to a survey, 30% of lower-level leaders are reluctant to approach superior leaders because they are afraid of "flattering", which creates obstacles for mutual understanding between superior leaders and subordinate leaders.In fact, any lower-level leader hopes that the superior understands himself, and only when the superior understands himself can he gain the trust and appreciation of the superior.Indeed, obtaining the understanding and trust of the superior is the key to a good relationship with the superior. From the perspective of superior leaders, it is natural to take the initiative to approach subordinates in order to achieve mutual understanding.However, some superior leaders are busy with work and do not have much time; some superior leaders put on airs and do not want to approach their subordinates;Therefore, it is difficult to rely solely on the efforts of the superiors.As a subordinate, you should also take the initiative to move closer to the superior leader as much as possible, so as to gain the understanding of yourself from the superior. Without understanding, trust is out of the question.The purpose of striving for the superior's understanding of oneself is to arouse the superior's attention and support for the work. When approaching the superior and communicating with the superior, certain methods must also be mastered: (1) Repeated emphasis method When a subordinate asks his superior for instructions on a certain task, in addition to choosing the right time, he must repeatedly emphasize, sometimes needing to slap his lips many times, so that the superior knows the matter from ignorance to deep knowledge, from ignorance to indifference. "Hang up the number", and then to strong support. (2) Side dredging method This method is often used as an auxiliary remedy when "positive requests" are ineffective, especially for kind-hearted and self-respecting superiors.For example, please ask the same level as the superior, other subordinates who are highly valued by the superior, old friends of the superior, and even family members of the superior, etc., can all be used as objects to intercede for you.However, there are a few issues to be aware of during this process: It is generally not advisable to leapfrog the superior in charge to avoid distrust of him; choose intercessors and do not choose eloquent people who are not appreciated by superiors; it is not appropriate to use intercessors There are too many people and the scope is too wide, so as to avoid the illusion and misunderstanding of your superiors that you are putting pressure on him. (3) Time urging method This method can be used for indecisive and slow-moving superiors, exerting a certain amount of mental pressure on them, making them feel that in the face of the trend, only by following your opinions can they eliminate the psychological burden, avoid the danger of falling behind or dereliction of duty, and thus change their attitudes .For different superiors, different urging methods can be used.For superiors with serious "only superior" thinking, they can emphatically cite the documents and instructions of higher-level leadership departments; for superiors with serious "book-only" thinking, they can emphatically quote important articles in newspapers and books; they have a strong sense of "realism" The superior should focus on citing reliable information data and factual materials. Around us, it is not uncommon for generals to be inferior to pawns and rulers to be inferior to ministers, and it is not uncommon for Ming pawns to be suppressed and strangled by mediocre generals.If you are a smart pawn, but you meet an incompetent general; or even if your boss is not an incompetent general, then he is not an omnipotent god, and there are some problems that they cannot solve. What should you do at this time? ?As a responsible subordinate, when you find that your boss has made a wrong decision, you should give him advice and suggestions from the perspective of safeguarding the interests of the company.But how to "advise" the boss to achieve the desired effect? For those subordinates who dare to advise directly, the headache for the boss is often not how unacceptable his opinions are, but the way the subordinates put forward their opinions makes them unbearable. For example, "Manager, what you just said is completely wrong, I think things should be handled this way..." or "Manager, I don't agree with your approach, I think it should be..." You put your boss's ideas or practices into consideration. Killing him with a stick, needless to say he is your leader, even ordinary colleagues and friends are very difficult to accept.If you make your boss feel uncomfortable, the boss will naturally have a grudge against you, and the possibility of your opinion being adopted is very slim. So how to make your boss accept your suggestion happily? (1) offer it, but don't "Giving what is possible, and not doing it for what is not" is a sentence in "Zuo Zhuan", which means that it is recommended to replace what should not be done with what is feasible.When subordinates "advise" their superiors, "provide more yes and less negativity", which includes two meanings: one is to expound one's point of view more from the front; Opinions, and even deliberately avoid direct conflicts with the opinions of the boss through roundabout methods. For example, you are a department manager of a company, and you need to be assigned a deputy in charge of business according to the business development situation. Send a layman from another department who doesn't understand the business in this area.In this case, you can use the topic more on the conditions that the deputy manager of the department should have and the conditions that the candidate you have already possessed, instead of refuting the candidate proposed by the boss.This can not only avoid direct conflict with the boss, but also keep the topic on the candidate you mentioned. (2) More "under the table" and less "desktop" The "under the table" and "desktop" here refer to informal occasions and formal occasions, private conversations and public exchange of views.The so-called "more 'under the table' and less 'desktop'" means that when subordinates give advice to their superiors, they should use more informal occasions and less formal occasions.Doing so can not only leave room for maneuver, even if you make a mistake in making an opinion, it will not damage your image in the eyes of the public, but also help maintain the personal dignity of the boss, so that the boss will not fall into passivity and embarrassment. Professor Robinson of the United States once said such a very enlightening sentence: "People sometimes change their opinions naturally, but if someone says he is wrong in public, he will be annoyed, become more stubborn, and even defend himself wholeheartedly. It’s not that the opinion itself is so precious, but that his self-esteem is threatened.” Robinson’s words tell us that everyone has self-esteem, and everyone has the instinct to maintain their dignity.As a subordinate, don't forget to maintain the dignity of the boss even when "advising" the boss. (3) More "water diversion" and less "drainage" Dale Carnegie once said: "If you just make suggestions and let others draw their own conclusions, making him feel that the idea is his own, wouldn't it be smarter?" The meaning of "advice" to the boss is not to directly point out the mistakes of the boss or to make your so-called correct decision for the boss on behalf of the boss, but to explain the decision-making, The opinion itself does not conform to the actual situation, so that the boss can make the correct decision you want to say after referring to the information and suggestions you put forward. Many practices have also shown that people often believe more firmly in their own opinions than those imposed on them by others.Therefore, as a smart subordinate, if you want to turn your own views into those of your boss, you should only do a good job of guiding, making suggestions, and providing information in many cases. The conclusions contained in it are best left to your boss to decide. . (1) Be good at understanding the intention of the boss Some bosses have a more reserved work style, and they often don’t express their intentions so clearly when they speak, and they don’t speak fully and thoroughly. At this time, we need to pay more attention to carefully understand the subtext in the words, so as to make our own Judgment, it is possible to reach a certain tacit understanding with the boss. (2) Have the courage to express your ideas When the boss takes the initiative to ask for your own opinions, or when you have a certain opinion, you may wish to express your own opinions and put forward your own opinions.In this way, it is not only easy to generate communication and resonance between superiors and subordinates, forming a tacit understanding of interaction and complementarity, but also to reflect one's own talents, so as to win the opportunity to stand out. For example, a company is going to recruit a group of new employees, and the task is assigned to the Human Resources Department. The director of the Human Resources Department, Ms. Liu, is a very shrewd woman. Said to the boss: "Mr. Wang, when writing this work plan, I often think of the scene when I came to the company. I was not afraid of anything, and I especially longed for a sense of accomplishment. Therefore, I hope to get rid of the kind of self-importance of employees. The feeling of being a part-time job, and publicly proposing the goal of 'grow with the company', makes everyone who applies for the job feel motivated." The boss agreed with it, and at the same time had a deeper understanding of Ms. Liu's ability. (3) Willing to provide useful information In a sense, the boss relies on "lower affection" to grasp the overall situation and lead a group of people.Therefore, as subordinates, middle-level leaders should be able to sensitively notice various situations at work and among colleagues, and actively provide information to their superiors. wiggle room or opportunities for advancement. When the factory manager came to inspect, a workshop director kept complaining that "the place is too narrow, and it is difficult to turn around."Unfortunately, he just complained, but did not express his opinion, which made the factory manager unhappy.The deputy director is different. He said: "In my opinion, this is a problem of the placement of the tools - you should find a special place to put the tools. I noticed that the raw material warehouse over there can be separated by a dozen or so How about a single room with a square meter? I figured it out, and it only costs 1,000 yuan.” As soon as the deputy director’s words came out, he immediately got the attention of the factory manager, because he not only complained, but also put forward specific suggestions .Soon, he was successfully promoted to workshop director. For many bosses, one thing you can never do is get too close to the throne, you have to keep a safe distance from the boss. As a lower-level leader, you must correct the relationship with the superior leader, be aware of the differences between superiors and subordinates, and know how to respect your superiors.Generally, superior leaders have the mentality of maintaining a certain dignity and authority in front of subordinates.If the subordinate ignores the superior and speaks indifferently, it will arouse the resentment of the superior.Of course, the respect mentioned here does not mean being submissive to the superiors and being submissive.Instead, talk to the leader with a mentality of asking for advice or discussing together, and convince the superior with a sincere attitude, strong evidence and sufficient facts. If the subordinate leader has a new idea, and thinks that this idea is very beneficial to the company, and may be promoted because of this good idea, how should he put forward his own idea?In most cases, you can adopt a retreat-for-advance method, ask him for advice with a humble attitude, and ask him to correct your opinion.There are two reasons: First, you need to know that your superior may have more experience than you in this area, as long as you are not very good at it, you will give the superior the impression that you are in a class. Second, if you present your opinion without humility and appear defiant, then your boss will think that you want to show that you know more than him and keep him down!Therefore, you should politely ask questions like: "Do you think it would be better and more appropriate for us to do this?" "If we do this, do you think it will be more cost-effective?" "Which aspects do you think this plan is still deficient in?" "If we do this, how do you see customers reacting?", and so on. The above-mentioned methods of making suggestions can be used for reference. Their advantage is that they will not hurt the superior's self-esteem, and will not make him think you are rude, but will feel that your attitude is modest and prudent.If your idea is really feasible, it will naturally be accepted by your superiors, and you will be valued more. If your suggestion is not adopted, you should also say: "This is the reason why I ask you for advice. After all, you are rich in experience." Such words can make you step down, and the superior is also very useful. To sum up, as a middle-level leader, you must pay attention to maintaining an appropriate distance from your boss, and on the basis of maintaining a certain distance, you can reach a certain mutual benefit relationship with your boss, so that you can truly meet the boss’s requirements. So as to achieve a clear understanding and interpersonal tacit understanding between the superiors and the subordinates.The determination of this distance is mainly based on the character of the boss and the degree of recognition of interests, but in any case, more personal emotional factors cannot be tolerated. Some bosses like to be stubborn, always think that their views are correct, and never take the opinions of their subordinates to heart.Even if his idea is proved to be wrong afterwards, he will always find various reasons to excuse himself.In the face of such a boss, you must not directly impose your views on him, but subtly hide your intentions and use indirect methods.For example, by asking for advice, first put the boss in a higher position, so that the boss can feel valued, and eliminate the boss's psychological resistance.In this case, the attitude of the boss is often easier to change. There was a senior official in the capital of the Qing Dynasty who was especially good at praising people.Once I went out to be an official due to various reasons. Before leaving, I went to say goodbye to my teacher. The teacher warned: "It is not easy to be an official outside, and you must be careful in everything." The senior official said confidently: "I am ready. One hundred tall hats, give one to everyone, there should be no unpleasant things." The teacher heard this, and said angrily: "We are all upright and upright people, why do that!" The official said hurriedly: " How many people in the world do not like to wear high hats like the teacher?” The teacher nodded and said, “Your words are not unreasonable.” The official bid farewell to the teacher, went out and said to others: “I prepared a hundred high hats, Now there are ninety-nine left." There is a vanity in human nature to accept praise.People despise those flatterers, but when those compliments float to their ears, it is very comfortable!Therefore, some superiors sometimes make wrong decisions due to stubbornness, and subordinates have the responsibility to remind and persuade the superiors so that the superiors change their minds.This is not only the love for the boss, but also the performance of duty and responsibility for the work.For the subordinates, it may not be difficult to find out the problems of the boss, but the difficulty lies in daring to raise them face to face. (1) You can grasp a part of the boss's opinion that you agree with, and give affirmation and appreciation.Praising your boss implicitly will increase your relationship with your boss and shorten the distance with your boss.Praising the boss is the recognition, support and praise of the boss, and it is the "lubricant" for the relationship between the subordinates and the boss.There is no boss who doesn't like to hear compliments.The leader is the "captain" of the team and needs everyone's encouragement and applause. However, although some people have always been "positive" in praising their bosses, they don't pay attention to the method. Not only the boss doesn't like to hear it and dare not accept it, but even their colleagues feel disgusted when they hear it. Not only does it not achieve results, but it also offends others .This requires you to grasp the skills of praise when you praise your boss. So, how do you compliment your boss implicitly? ①The language must be correct Complimenting your boss is best done in a "public" tone while incorporating your own compliments. For example, when a manuscript by editor-in-chief Liu of a certain newspaper was published in a certain newspaper, Xiao Zhang took the opportunity to praise: "Editor-in-chief Liu, everyone is learning from your reports! We all think that your reporting angle is unique, and we all want to ask you for advice." What!" Editor-in-Chief Liu was very happy after hearing this. When praising your boss, you should use "neutral" words as much as possible, and you must not abuse adjectives and adverbs.Be sincere and sincere.If you say "most, most, most" and shut up "very, very, very", it will inevitably make your boss feel that you are exaggerating, and that you are more vain and insincere. For example, a leading comrade often writes speeches by himself. Occasionally, when the secretary prepares the manuscript for him, he also tells the secretary the "path" of the manuscript in advance for the writer's reference.Therefore, the secretary often said to him: "As a leader like you, we are almost unemployed", "People say that writing manuscripts is hard work, but writing manuscripts for you is a beautiful job." Since the praise was appropriate, the leader happily accepted it every time.If the secretary said: "You are really capable!" "No other leader can compare to you." Then the leader must not be able to accept it, and there will be no good results. ②The method must be correct For the method of praise, direct praise and indirect praise can be used together.Direct praise mainly refers to "speaking directly" to the superior personally and praising in person.If the boss has just finished the report and he takes the initiative to ask you about your impression of the report, then you can use appropriate language to give direct praise in a realistic and realistic manner, and don't deal with it with words like "it's okay" or "just enough". For example, a certain city held a tourism on-site meeting. The leader in charge of tourism used to be engaged in the work of Chinese education. In his speech, the leader quoted extensively from many sources, and his language was very humorous. Everyone thought his speech was of a high level and reflected the actual situation of the city's tourism work. .After the meeting, the leader asked a reporter who was interviewing him, "What do you think of my speech today?" "How did the audience respond?" The reporter replied: "Your speech today is very accurate. We have introduced the current situation of the city to you, and also shown you the prospects for future development, we are all very encouraged!" The leader was relieved by the journalist's well-placed praise.This is easier to accept than direct compliments such as "Your speech is really good!" "Your speech is wonderful!" and so on.Indirect praise also includes praise in a roundabout way when the boss is praised face to face, such as citing examples of the boss's report, or telling the boss the reaction after listening to the report, which is both direct praise and indirect praise. ③The content should be correct When it comes to complimenting your boss, it's important to praise what your boss really cares about.If your boss doesn't care about things, you will inevitably be hated if you praise them endlessly.For example, the first public speech of the new boss, the decision made by the boss that has been proved to be completely correct, the success of a certain job that the boss has recently achieved, the "gold list title" of the boss's children, etc. These are often very important to the boss. What you care about can be properly praised. For example, Director Li of a certain bureau likes to drive, often drives by himself, and is willing to talk about his driving skills.Once, the director's driver, Xiao Zhang, accidentally twisted his waist while driving. Director Li let Xiao Zhang take the car and drove by himself.At that time, it was the rush hour for vehicles and the traffic was heavy on the road, but Director Li drove steadily and not slowly. At this moment, Xiao Zhang said, "Director, I never thought that your driving skills are so good, and you can drive so fast under such circumstances. Better than a professional driver." Director Li was very happy with this sincere compliment, and exaggerated Xiao Zhang's foresight. ④ Pay attention to the occasion Compliments in front of your boss' relatives capture what they have in common.For example, when Li Jun visited the director's house, he was warmly received by the director's wife, so Li Jun praised the enthusiasm and hospitality of the director and his wife in handling interpersonal relationships.In front of the leader's superiors, you must prudently praise your leader, and don't mix right and wrong into it, which is self-defeating.In communicative occasions, praise the boss's language to be concise and play the role of promoting leadership. In short, praise to the boss should be moderate and vary from person to person.Of course, as a subordinate, don't be complacent about being able to praise your boss, and don't worry about not being good at it.Because, the key to the success or failure of your career is not whether you will praise or not. (2) Subordinates must show great patience in dealing with a stubborn boss. Due to the stubbornness of the boss, it is not easy to convince the boss. Generally speaking, this kind of stubborn boss hates subordinates standing on the opposite side to find fault and correct themselves.Therefore, if you want to persuade your boss to change your mind, you must pay attention to your own foothold.We must start from the standpoint of caring and loving, and we must show that we are wholeheartedly thinking about the boss.Get closer to the boss in terms of thoughts and feelings, put yourself in the boss's shoes, help the boss, so that the boss can understand the sincerity and kindness of the subordinates, and feel from the heart that the subordinates are "sitting in the same boat" with him and need to help each other.In this way, the ideological and emotional resonance paves the way for the subordinates to persuade, and the subordinates' persuasion becomes easier to accept. At the same time, the attempt of persuasion should not be too explicit, and it is not advisable to speak directly to the boss.An effective method is to address specific issues, state more factual materials and your own opinions, and let the facts speak for themselves. The officers and soldiers of the first company of a certain army assisted the local TV station in shooting a documentary. Due to time constraints, they worked overtime at noon one day to shoot.When the team leader arrived at the scene, he was very annoyed when he found that he was missing a few props. In front of the whole company, he criticized the company commander for his poor work organization, which affected the shooting.The company commander couldn't hold back his face, so he justified a few words, and the regiment leader became even more angry, saying that he had no leadership, ordered him to write an inspection, and punished him.Staff Officer Ding, who was accompanying him, felt that the regimental leader had gone too far in this way, so he asked the regimental leader to report the situation that afternoon, but the regimental leader was very insistent on his opinion.So Staff Officer Ding first pointed out that the company commander really shouldn't contradict the regiment commander face to face, saying that the company commander was young and energetic, and criticized the company commander, and then said: "I have understood the situation, and the company did not bring all the props because of the arrangement. The comrades of the props did not explain it clearly, and they are not entirely responsible. Later, the director made a remedy, so it did not affect the shooting. And you criticized him so harshly in front of the soldiers of the whole company, how do you ask him to lead the troops in the future?" That day In the evening, the head of the regiment asked Staff Ding to go to the company. He said to the company commander: "I am a little impatient today, and I misunderstood you." The company commander was very moved and also reviewed his own problems. Patiently stating the facts is very persuasive. As long as you have a certain amount of patience and explain it to your boss repeatedly so that your boss can realize your own mistakes, you can receive obvious persuasive effects.You can't blindly contradict your boss head-on, that will only irritate your boss, make your boss have more opinions on your subordinates, strengthen the wrong ideas in your boss's mind, and increase the difficulty of resolving your boss's stubbornness. Year after year, day after day, you put all your energy into your work; when you are diligent and loyal to the company but you are not appreciated and praised by your superiors, have you ever thought about the reason?At this time, you may complain and complain.But you must understand that this is not entirely the fault of the leader. Just imagine how many people in the company, inside and outside, have to worry about how many people have to worry about it. Your "ignorance" is also understandable.Therefore, you have to be a "voice person". When you have completed a very difficult task, you must first report to your leader to let him know that you have a good head and the ability to cut through messes quickly, not just eating dry food.Always keep in mind, don't wait for something to go wrong before thinking of looking for a leader. Leaders like capable subordinates.If you have always been shrewd and capable, even if you get into trouble, the leader will be lenient and forgive you.The worst thing is that every time you report to the leader is bad news about your defeat in Maicheng, in this way, you must have a bad impression in the leader's mind. So, how can we be an extremely efficient "person with a voice"? (1) Straight to the point, let's talk about the conclusion first Don't spend time and energy describing what you do, but first tell him the result directly. Leaders are very busy. Use limited time to report what the leader cares about most. This is called "benefit sales method". (2) If time permits, further detail the process Be as concise and to the point as possible, and remember to thank others before giving your own credit. (3) Written report If it is a written report, be sure to sign your name, don't write a thousand words, if you forget to add your name.Or if you put all the names of your direct supervisors and leaders on it, but you only miss your own, wouldn't that be a "fall short of success". (4) Don't ask for rewards, just ask for a good impression After the report is over, don't ask for a reward immediately, just leave a good impression on the leader.Otherwise, the leader may feel that you are too eager for quick success.As long as you win the affirmation of the leader time and time again, over time, the achievements will come naturally, and you will always have your share in promotion. (5) Share the good news In addition to reporting to your leader, it is best to tell your colleagues and subordinates the good news at the same time and let them share it. This will not only gain popularity, but also create "public opinion" and let others perceive your "sparkling point".这如同做完蛋糕，要想到挤花，有了美丽的奶油花朵，蛋糕才更会赢得了人们的青睐。 随时不忘报告领导，就是在自己的蛋糕上挤花，让领导为你喝彩。 大多数人都认为，只要自己表现好，工作好，迟早会传到上级耳中。可惜情况往往不是这样，很可能你工作相当出色，而别人根本不知道。 因此，我们不仅要做得好，也要能说得好，这样才能得到上司的赏识。那么，怎样说才能得到上司的赏识呢？ （1）把荣耀留给上司 这是应付上司最有效的方法。在其他公共场合指出上司的优点，凡事让他知道：有了成绩不忘告诉同事和更高的领导，这也有上司的一份功劳；开会有上司在场时，一定不要临时搬弄新资料，应事先将资料告诉上司，由他自己提出来；不要把计划书和盘托出，要保留上司发表意见的余地。总之，处处让上司感觉到他的尊严与重要。 （2）向上司传递员工情况 大多数上司都希望对部下各方面情况有所了解，如某人的母亲生病住院，某天是某人过生日，等等。上司了解这些情况后适度表示关怀可增加员工的亲近感。值得注意的是，上司所需要了解的不是你对某人恶意攻击或揭其隐私，也不是叫你向他打小报告。与上司谈到同事的时候，只能谈论同事的长处，这样才有助于你和同事之间建立良好的关系，也让上司看到你为人的正派可信。 （3）不要打听上司的隐私 上司通常会在员工下班后独自在办公室呆坐，上司也是人，在面对工作压力时同样会感到心情压抑，对家庭生活也一样会有一本难念的经。上司有时会表现出脆弱，同样希望得到别人的抚慰。但如果你就此肆无忌惮地探问其隐私，甚至为其出谋划策，那就是马屁拍在马腿上了。要知道即使上司最脆弱时，他也只是寻求适度的关心，就算是一杯热茶也足以让上司认为你是一个善解人意的好下属。你还可以给上司随意讲出一个令人捧腹的笑话，开解他郁闷的心结。记住，真正热爱你的上司，出发点应是爱戴而不是利用。 （4）多干事、少巴结 尽管许多上司从不反对下级讨好奉承，但他们更喜欢那种工作踏实、作风正派的人。如果你把上司交办的每一件事都办得井然有序，然后再说几句上司爱听的话，比起那些只会吹牛拍马却不干实事的人，上司更希望接近你这样的下属。 在与上司相处时，你要勇敢地迎着上司的目光，而不要躲躲闪闪；你可以坦率地与他交换看法，只需做到不隐瞒不夸大就可以了；从不议论上司的隐私，并尽己所能努力工作，争取成为其最佳的部下。做到了这些，还愁上司不赏识你吗？ 在工作中上司的批评和指责是难免的，谁都不喜欢被批评，尤其是上司批评自己时，几乎每个人都会有抵触情绪，说话也难免带火药味或敷衍了事，这样只会增加上司的怒气，招致更多猛烈的批评。正确的做法应该是平心静气，让上司把话说完，反省自己的过失，认识到上司指出的缺点，体谅上司的苦心，同时还要善于运用口才，把上司的怒火控制在最低限度，这既给了上司出气的机会，也保住了自己的面子。 在工作中，突然受到来自上司的批评，当然是件麻烦事，处理不好会造成很大的影响。要应对上司的批评，首先要搞清楚上司为什么批评你。 上司批评部下，有时是发现了问题，促进纠正；有时是出于一种调整关系的需要，告诉受批评者不要太自以为是；有时是为了显示自己的威信和尊严，与部下保持或拉开一定的距离；有时是“杀一儆百”，使不该受批评的人受批评……搞清楚了上司为什么批评你，就可以把握情况，从容应付。 （1）所谓正当的批评 受到上司批评时，你需要表现出诚恳的态度，从批评中确实接受了什么，学到了什么。最不应该采取的态度就是满不在乎，最让上司恼火的，就是你把他的话当成了“耳旁风”。很少有人把批评别人当成自己的嗜好。既然批评，尤其是训斥容易伤和气，因而他也是要郑重其事的。一旦批评了别人，就又产生了一个权威问题、尊严问题，如果你对他的批评置若罔闻，我行我素，其后果也许比当面顶撞更糟。 有些聪明的下属善于利用批评，因为他们知道，有些批评有批评的道理，错误的批评也有其可接受的出发点。也就是说，受批评才能了解上司，接受批评才能体现对上司的尊重。 所以，对批评不要不服气和牢骚满腹。即使是错误的批评如果你处理得好，反而会变成有利因素。可是，如果你不服气，发牢骚，那么，你这种做法产生的负效应，足以使你和上司的感情拉大距离，关系恶化。当上司认为你“批评不得”时，也就认为你“提拔不得”了。更不要把受到一两次批评和自己整个前途命运联系起来，觉得一切都完了，灰心丧气。如果受到了批评或者训斥，你就一蹶不振，打不起精神，这样会很让上司看不起。如果你是这样一种表现，以后上司可能再不会批评、指责你什么了。同样，你也就再不会信任和重用你了。 受到上司批评时，反复纠缠、争辩，希望弄个一清二楚，这也是没有必要的。确有误解怎么办？可找一两次机会表白一下，点到为止。即使上司没有为你平反，也完全用不着纠缠不休。这种斤斤计较的部下，是很不受上司赏识的。如果你的目的仅仅是为了不受批评，当然可以“寸土不让，寸理必争”。可是，一个把上级搞得筋疲力尽的人，又谈何晋级呢？ （2）所谓不正当的批评 上司批评下属的事情很正常，但是有的时候也有不正当的批评，面对这样的批评，你会怎样做呢？切记，第一，千万不要激怒上司；第二，千万不要过于忍让，以免上司变本加厉。 王小姐是一家公司的代办处资源主管，她的上司常常当着其他同事的面批评她，让她很难受。后来她约上一个时间，和上级私下谈，她直接向上级说：“您是主管，可以批评我的工作，但是请您不要说得让我觉得一无是处。”这位上司以后不仅不再当众指责她，反而因为她的态度坦诚而尊重她了。 有的领导可能会想，我哪里敢这样与上司说啊！但是，根据心理学研究：一位上司感到地位受到威胁，就可能拿出自卫的本事——否认、不同意、认为不公平。有时候从下属的内心也感到这批评是没有道理的，可是为了巩固自己的地位，他表面上是接受的。不过，随着批评的增多，上司与下属之间的抵触感会越来越大，这对双方都不利。 这种委曲求全不是好办法，事实上，大多数领导还是能听一听你的意见的，关键在于你的方式。 小王是一家投资银行的经理助理。经理平常只注意他的缺点，而且经常责骂、埋怨小王。小王很不情愿地忍住怒气，但是自尊受了相当大的伤害，以至有点怀疑自己是否能力不够。他请教了一位老专家，得到了一个好办法。小王问经理是否能在每周五早上抽出一点时间听他汇报一周来的工作。第一次汇报时，小王说：“我尽力要把分内的工作做好，可是您一再说我做得不对，我渐渐没有自信了。我希望以后您能在每周这个时候把我犯的错误都指明，并且指示我该怎样改进。有什么地方做得对了，也希望经理告诉我。”起初经理写了满满一张表，都是小王的错处，但是几次汇报之后，经理的态度慢慢变了。有一次他说：“我原来一直没注意，你的工作成绩是相当不错的。”又有一次，他说自己是犯了“求好心切”的毛病，因而对小王太苛刻了一点。 小王就这样利用报告和诚恳的态度改变了上司的批评。 如果你很不幸，你的上级是一个爱鸡蛋里挑骨头或心存不良的人，这时该怎么办呢？听见上司出言不逊，你要以平静自重的态度来回答，表示无论遇到什么样的困难，你都愿意为你的工作负责，说出你对这份工作的看法。你可以直接向上司说，先称呼他的头衔，然后说出你的主观意见：“我不同意……”“依照我的判断……”“话虽如此，我却认为……”如果他的态度更加恶劣，强行打断你的话，你就说：“我觉得这件事很重要，所以希望能说清楚。可是这样吵法是讲不清的，我过一个小时再来。”一开始会觉得这样做很难，但是你要以自己的感觉为考虑重点，不要去想他的反应，只要你能固守这个原则，化解他的恶劣态度是迟早的事。 总而言之，受到批评甚至是训斥，虽然会使你在感情上、自尊心上、在周围人们的心目中受到一定的影响，但是如果你处理得好，解释到位，“消化良好”，不仅会得到补偿，甚至会收到更有利的效果。相反，过于追求弄清是非曲直，反而会使人们感到你的心胸狭窄，经不起任何误解，那人们就只能对你戒备三分了。 领导委托你做某事时，你要善加考虑，这件事自己是否能胜任？是否会引起不良后果？然后再作决定。如果只是为了一时的情面，即使是无法做到的事也接受下来，过后也别抱拖的心态，要郑重向领导申明理由，并道歉，起码可给领导一个敢于为自己行为负责的印象。纵使是很照顾自己的领导，委托你办事，如你自觉做不到，更应很明确地表明态度，说：“对不起！我不能接受。”或者，“以我的能力办不了这事。”这才是真正有勇气的人。否则，你反而会误领导的事。 如果你认为这是领导委托你的事不便拒绝，或因拒绝了领导会不悦而接受下来，那么，此后你的处境就会很艰难。这种因畏惧领导报复而勉强答应，答应后又感到懊悔时，就太迟了。领导所说的话有违道理，你可以断然地驳斥，这才是保护自己保护你们之间关系之道。如果，领导强性迫使你接受不可能完成的任务，你解释也无用，这种领导便不可靠，你更不能接受。 尽管部下是隶属于领导，但部下也有他独立的人格，不能什么事都不分善恶是非都服从。部下并不是奴隶。倘若你的领导以往曾帮过你很多忙，而今他要委托你做无理或不恰当的事，你更应该毅然地拒绝，这对领导来说是好的，对自己也是负责的。 此外，限于能力，无论如何努力都做不到的事，也应拒绝。但是这有一个前提，即是否真的做不到，应该确实地衡量一下，切不可因怀有恐惧心而不敢接受。经过多方考虑，提出各种方案后，是否再加上勇气来突破它？都需要考虑清楚。考虑后，认定实在无法做到，方可拒绝。 当然，拒绝更要讲究方法，采用什么办法才能让上司接受，这里面也是很有学问的。 （1）触类相喻，委婉说“不” 当领导提出一件让你难以做到的事时，如果你直言答复做不到时，可能会让领导损失颜面。这时，你不妨说出一件与此类似的事情，让领导自觉问题的难度，而自动放弃这个要求。 （2）佯装尽力，不了了之 首先说明，这是万不得已才能用的方法。 当上司提出某种要求而属下又无法满足时，设法造成属下已尽全力的错觉，让上司自动放弃其要求，也是一种好方法。比如，当上司提出不能满足的要求后，就可采取下列步骤先答复：“您的意见我懂了，请放心，我保证全力以赴去做。”过几天，再汇报：“这几天×××因急事出差，等下星期回来，我再立即报告他。”又过几天，再告诉上司：“您的要求我已转告×××了，他答应在公司会议上认真地讨论。”尽管事情最后不了了之，但你也会给上司留下好感，因为你已造成“尽力而为”的假象，上司也就不会再怪罪你了。 通常情况下，人们对自己提出的要求，总是念念不忘。但如果长时间得不到回音，就会认为对方不重视自己的问题，反感、不满由此而生。相反，即使不能满足上司的要求，只要能做出些样子，对方就不会抱怨，甚至会对你心存感激，主动撤回已让你为难的要求。 （3）利用他人掩饰自己说“不” 例如，你被上司要求做某一件事时，其实很想拒绝，可是又说不出来。这时候，你不妨拜托其他二位同事，和你一起到上司那里去，这并非所谓的三人战术，而是依靠集团替你作掩护来说“不”。 首先，商量好谁是赞成的那一方，谁是反对的那一方，然后在上司面前争论。等到争论过一会儿后，你再出面轻轻地说：“原来如此，那可能太牵强了”，而靠向反对的那一方。这样一来，你可以不必直接向上司说“不”，就能表明自己的态度。这种方法会给人“你们是经过激烈讨论后，绞尽脑汁才下结论”的印象，而包含上司在内的全体人士，都不会有哪一方受到伤害的感觉，从而上司会很自然地自动放弃对你的命令。 升职和加薪永远是职场里的人最关心的话题，也是最棘手的问题。 许多人并非表现不好或没有工作能力，他们只是不善于表现自己。现代企业的领导因公务缠身，不可能每时每刻都留意你的表现，作为员工有必要主动、适时地表现自己，只有这样才能达到预期效果。当然，每个人的表达方式都会不同，关键的一点是有技巧地表现自己。 加薪是小王渴望已久的事情。论起资历，他在厂里一干就是五年，大小也是个组长，自认工作态度还行，也没有犯过什么过错，可是老板根本没有给他加薪的意思。小王觉得自身价值得不到体现，心里很烦闷。小王曾多次在工作总结会上暗示过老板，但老板对此也没有丝毫反应。让他明确地向老板提出这个要求，又觉得不好意思，怕遭到拒绝，但是不说的话又不甘心，最后他还是鼓起勇气，委婉地向老板说明了自己的意思。出乎意料的是，老板在观察他工作几周后果然为小王加薪了，事情就这么简单。事后，小王终于明白，只要是属于自己的正当权益，就应该努力去争取。 当然，身在职场，并不是每个人都有小王那样的好运气，或说遇到那样开明的领导。因此向领导提出加薪，也很需要讲究技巧。 其实，老板和员工的关系是平等的。只要你认为加薪是合理的，你就有权提出。但你必须注意说话方式，最好是巧妙地、有技巧地把自己的意图传达给老板，就算万一不被老板接纳，也不至于让双方陷入尴尬的局面，以致影响日后的相处。 在作为与地位的关系上，很多年轻人认为只有先有地位、权力与权势，才可能有一番作为。事实是先有作为，才可能有地位。There are two reasons: （1）老板一般是通过员工的表现，来评价其能力、品行与态度。所以，对于员工而言，要想在职场出人头地，除了在本职工作上有过人的表现外，别无他途。 （2）通过真本事干起来的员工，别人才会认同你，也容易获得同事的尊重，这是你在新的、更高的岗位作出成绩的有力保证。 有着规范薪酬制度的单位，对员工的评价都会公正而客观，他们会关注每一个员工的成长与进步，岗位交流、专业培训甚至破例录用等情况，在这样的单位会时有发生。每一勤恳工作的有能力的员工都坚信晋升的空间在等着自己，他们的工作更为积极和主动，根本不需要员工本人去刻意追求或为是否向老板提出加薪用尽心机。 职场中人，有了作为，便有了地位，随之上升的不仅是薪水，还有个人的能力及素质。还有一部分人认为，直接向老板提出加薪，主要由自身的“底气”所决定。正规的具有发展潜力的企业老板一般比较开明，只要你有真才实学，你肯定是底气十足，老板自然乐意根据你的贡献加薪；若底气不足甚至少有成绩，莫说加薪，就是保住位子也有困难。若遇上那些抠门的老板，要相信一句古话，即“留得青山在，不怕没柴烧”，大可挺起腰杆走人，何必觊觎他老大不愿才挤出的几个子儿！ 底气足不足，自己最清楚。没有底气，加薪的事也就甭提了。所以说，加薪的前提是要有底气。底气是什么？也就是你平时的工作表现以及你为公司的发展所做出的努力。有了这一切，你的底气自然就上来了，提不提加薪是你自己的事，但有一点可以确信，你迟早会被加薪，因为群众的眼睛是雪亮的。 同级领导之间的关系是工作中最为复杂的关系，大家既是一个战壕里的战友，又是竞争对手。要想在同级领导中博得好人缘、受大家的欢迎，良好的沟通能力和说话技巧就会祝你一臂之力，成为你的“护身符”。 同级关系处理好，会使本部门工作左右逢源，更会使全局的工作配合得紧密有加。 同级领导间的协同双赢，应该注意以下两个方面。 （1）竞争与协同共存 人生在世就是为了实现自己的价值，于是，不同的人有不同的需求和欲望。为了实现人生目标，人与人之间会展开激烈的竞争，而人是社会的人，为了生存与繁衍，每个人都需要融入集体、融入社会，协同完成改造自然、实现价值的愿望。其实，人与人之间的关系无不表现为竞争与协同的关系。只是有的地方更为明显，有的地方有点隐蔽罢了。而同级之间的关系也许正是竞争与协同的典范，同一级别领导者，每个人都有这样的想法，我一定要干得比他们强，这样我才有提升的希望，我一定要干得最漂亮，以证明我的出色，这也许是最积极的竞争者的姿态了。即使是最弱的，也会这样想：“千万不能干得比他们差，要不然饭碗就没了”。这就是同级之间的竞争。 而同级之间的协同与竞争同等重要，我干好了，他没干好，作为一个集体，我也遭殃，我们一定要配合好。当然也有的人会通过损害同级来达到自己往上爬的目的，这种做法既不可取也不道德，不是处理同级领导关系的可取之道。要处理好同级领导之间的关系，需要领导者放开眼界，认清形势，顾全大局，不要做井底之蛙。要想到，同级与自身之间的竞争是磨砺自身的一个良好的环境，山外青山楼外楼，在这里与同级领导之间进行充分的竞争不断地取长补短，是为了明天与另外的部门更有效地适应。而同级领导者之间的协同又是培养自己配合能力的机会，要善于取己所长、补人所短或取人所长、补己所短。共同维持组织的正常运转，这也是实现自我价值的一条重要途径。当然，要善于在同级中脱颖而出，成为佼佼者，但也要善于与其他人员的配合，这样才可能避免“木秀于林，风必摧之”的遗憾，唯有如此，自己的梦想才能实现。 （2）积极增进与同级的感情 感情是人际关系的“协调器”，同级之间的关系应当融洽，互无“心理防线”，这样自己在工作时也顺当，而且心情愉快。由于自己工作的好坏与同级无直接的利害关系，因而在寻求同级领导的配合或帮助时，你和他之间的“感情”则是他是否乐于帮忙的最重要的砝码。如果你和他感情深厚，那么问题会迎刃而解，反之，不知道要费多少口舌，所以有经验的领导者总把加强与同级领导的感情放在处理同级关系的首位。 （3）主动与同级沟通 同级与同级间沟通，需要一个主动者，首先敞开心